I'm so stressed!

[JDi]

I am so stressed at present at University - I have six essays to write in 4 weeks, seminars, interviews, meetings, visits. I am so lonely. I would like to make friends please. I like trains. I travel a lot.

SO much pressure!!!

 

[trainmania100]

Hi JDi
Please remain calm, you will always be a part of the community here.
Should you ever need help with anything, please use the general discussion boards and well all try to help.
Welcome to the forums

 

[martin2345uk]

Yeah we'll always be here to chat to for a start!
What uni are you at..? Whereabouts are you from?

 

[scott118]

I am so stressed at present at University - I have six essays to write in 4 weeks, seminars, interviews, meetings, visits. I am so lonely. I would like to make friends please. I like trains. I travel a lot.

SO much pressure!!!

Don't you have work to be doing, instead of whiling away, your time on forums?
What are you studying for?

 

[J-2739]

Yeah, my GCSEs are starting up later this year, and although I don't spend all my time on this forum (it may seem so though!), I'm kinda stressed myself about if I'll be able to maintain this hobby, my other hobbies, and my schoolwork at the same time!

Unlike you, I also have friends, but I bet we've all been lonely in our lives at some point. Just don't let this get in the way of you so much. I bet you that you have something to bring to the world, and if your so determined, work towards it.

Why don't you just set aside one day to make yourself at peace by doing the things you love best. Life is not just about getting a good GCSE, but also enjoying it. And as your original post says, you are very stressed out from all your work, so make some days enjoyable for yourself. Have a day out in town or go for a cheeky Nando's or something. Make your life fun! I don't mean to be patronizing, I'm just trying to help.

As for the 'so lonely' bit, well, maybe you have some old friends from primary who you still keep contact. Try having a day out with them to forget. And even if you don't, don't let this get over your schoolwork too much. Tell you what, you should try going on one of our forum meets. I've never been, but I bet there's a bunch of friendly people their who'd make you feel welcome and part of a community.

I hope you do well at University, and I wish you the best luck of 2017.

Jonathan

 

[trainmania100]

Yeah, my GCSEs are starting up later this year, and although I don't spend all my time on this forum (it may seem so though!), I'm kinda stressed myself about if I'll be able to maintain this hobby, my other hobbies, and my schoolwork at the same time!

Unlike you, I also have friends, but I bet we've all been lonely in our lives at some point. Just don't let this get in the way of you so much. I bet you that you have something to bring to the world, and if your so determined, work towards it.

Why don't you just set aside one day to make yourself at peace by doing the things you love best. Life is not just about getting a good GCSE, but also enjoying it. And as your original post says, you are very stressed out from all your work, so make some days enjoyable for u yourself. Have a day out with your parents or go for a cheeky Nando's or something. Make your life fun! I don't mean to be patronizing, I'm just trying to help.

As for the 'so lonely' bit, well, maybe you have some old friends from primary who you still keep contact. Try having a day out with them to forget. And even if you don't, don't let this get over your schoolwork too much. Tell you what, you should try going on one of our forum meets. I've never been, but I bet there's a bunch of friendly people their who'd make you feel welcome and part of a community.

I hope you do well at University, and I wish you the best luck of 2017.

Jonathan

Well said Johnathan ☺
We've all been lonely at some point in our lives
when i did my GCSEs I set aside my passion for trains, just for that year or two to focus on school
I often go for a cheeky sausage and eggmcmjffin though I wouldn't call it cheeky as I seem to be having one a week atm...

 

[yorkie]

I am so stressed at present at University - I have six essays to write in 4 weeks, seminars, interviews, meetings, visits. I am so lonely. I would like to make friends please. I like trains. I travel a lot.

SO much pressure!!!

What other interests do you have and are you able to pursue them at present? In particular sporting interests can help massively.

For now, make yourself achievable smaller targets and concentrate on ticking each one off. However if you get really stuck on something and aren't able to seek help at that moment, do something else in the meantime.

It is important not to get too distracted (e.g. with forums) when you are meant to be working, but having some 'downtime' is important too!

If you are also interested in walking disused lines, there is a walk some of us are doing this Spring which may be of interest, which will be followed by a forum meal (which will be on us).

 

[trainmania100]

What other interests do you have and are you able to persue them at present? In particular sporting interests can help massively.

For now, make yourself achievable smaller targets and concentrate on ticking each one off. However if you get really stuck on something and aren't able to seek help at that moment, do something else in the meantime.

It is important not to get too distracted (e.g. with forums) when you are meant to be working, but having some 'downtime' is important too!

If you are also interested in walking disused lines, there is a walk some of us are doing this Spring which may be of interest, which will be followed by a forum meal (which will be on us).

Where will the walk take place? I am interested if it is somewhat near me

 

[Iskra]

How long are these essays? 6 in 4 weeks is very doable but you need to say bye to your social life and try andavoid internet procrastination. You also need to get into a disciplined work routine, e.g. I knew I was useless at doing work in the afternoons so I would get up at 5am work solidly until 1pm then knock off until after tea and carry on until the early hours.

I found it much easier to do all my research first and then write the essay rather than looking for research as I typed.

Are you first year by any chance? What subject? Also how long have you known about these essays because I always found it easier to start them as soon as I found out about them to avoid the end of term deadline car crash! Getting ahead at the start of the term is crucial when things are much quieter. Also, I worked 20-30 hours a week too and had a social life, learning to manage your time is hard but also very rewarding once you work it out.

 

[yorkie]

Where will the walk take place? I am interested if it is somewhat near me

The OP appears to be based at Durham (based on a previous post), there are a lot of disused railway lines in County Durham, but based on the location specified in your profile, this isn't anywhere near you. If anyone is interested please do send me a PM though.

 

[trainmania100]

Thankyou yorkie
Yes unfortunately it wouldn't be feasible for me to make it but I will look forward to future opportunities ��
Edit those question marks were supposed to be Emojis but the encoding doent like it

 

[RichmondCommu]

I am so stressed at present at University - I have six essays to write in 4 weeks, seminars, interviews, meetings, visits. I am so lonely. I would like to make friends please. I like trains. I travel a lot.

SO much pressure!!!

Stress?? How is any of that stress??

Working for the emergency services is stress. Trying to make ends meet whilst paying a mortgage / rent to put a roof over your family is stress. Keeping your children fed and clothed is stress

I'm very sorry to read that you are lonely and that is not nice but in terms of stress I think you need to get a sense of perspective. Life becomes a lot harder / complicated once you graduate.

Have you tried to join any groups or societies at Uni as that will help you make friends. Are you any good at sport as that will help too.

 

[tony_mac]

<expletive deleted>

All people feel stress and anxiety differently - there is absolutely no need to belittle somebody else's experience because you don't understand it.


And, to try and add something helpful - what's the problem with the workload? Some things can possibly be priorities over others. It's usually not essential to go to 100% of lectures and seminars.

You can ask for extra time for essays, are you using that? Have you spoken to the disability adviser?

 

[RichmondCommu]

<expletive deleted>

All people feel stress and anxiety differently - there is absolutely no need to belittle somebody else's experience because you don't understand it.

Having been to Uni (albeit many years a go), worked for ruthless organisations and lived away from my family for months on end I know what it's like to miss people and I know how life can get on top of you at times. However in my opinion the word stress is used far too often for no good reason.

 

[yorkie]

Stress?? How is any of that stress??

How? because it is!

Working for the emergency services is stress. Trying to make ends meet whilst paying a mortgage / rent to put a roof over your family is stress. Keeping your children fed and clothed is stress

They are too. Different sorts of stress.

I'm very sorry to read that you are lonely and that is not nice but in terms of stress I think you need to get a sense of perspective. Life becomes a lot harder / complicated once you graduate.

Nonsense. For many people being at Uni is stressful and it is a relief to go into the world of work.

Have you tried to join any groups or societies at Uni as that will help you make friends. Are you any good at sport as that will help too.

I agree with this, though I would point out you do not need to be good at sport. I run some sports activities for some young people who are not particularly good at sport and their enthusiasm is great.

 

[D365]

I am so stressed at present at University - I have six essays to write in 4 weeks, seminars, interviews, meetings, visits. I am so lonely. I would like to make friends please. I like trains. I travel a lot.

SO much pressure!!!

My advice for your day-to-day is to break your assignments down into manageable chunks. Set yourself targets, check them off as you go along and reward yourself as you see fit. Work hard but make sure you take plenty of breaks. Try to get some physical exercise in and find some smaller hobbies that you can fit in to these breaks.

With your seminars and visits, use these opportunities to make connections and friends. I'm a part of a few different societies, through which I've made several new friends and it gives me something to do that isn't related to my course at all.

If you can make it to a forum meet I highly recommend that too.

Believe me, I know exactly what university feels like

Don't you have work to be doing, instead of whiling away, your time on forums?

I do too, but it's important to maintain a balanced lifestyle

 

[yorkie]

Having been to Uni (albeit many years a go), worked for ruthless organisations and lived away from my family for months on end I know what it's like to miss people.

I am not at all convinced that you and scott118 really understand how JDi may be feeling right now. Maybe you do, but your replies are ringing alarm bells for me.

However in my opinion the word stress is used far too often for no good reason.

There is no evidence to suggest JDi is using the word stress for no good reason.

 

[D365]

Nonsense. For many people being at Uni is stressful and it is a relief to go into the world of work.

For one thing, I'm looking forward to having the opportunity to take a year out and gain some experience in my industry.

I agree with this, though I would point out you do not need to be good at sport. I run some sports activities for some young people who are not particularly good at sport and their enthusiasm is great.

It doesn't even have to be a ball or team sport; I'm rubbish at both but am a keen swimmer.

 

[AlterEgo]

Stress?? How is any of that stress??

Working for the emergency services is stress. Trying to make ends meet whilst paying a mortgage / rent to put a roof over your family is stress. Keeping your children fed and clothed is stress

I'm very sorry to read that you are lonely and that is not nice but in terms of stress I think you need to get a sense of perspective. Life becomes a lot harder / complicated once you graduate.

Have you tried to join any groups or societies at Uni as that will help you make friends. Are you any good at sport as that will help too.

It's very easy to write that as a (presumably) middle-aged man, isn't it?

It's easy to forget how important things can seem when you're young.

 

[RichmondCommu]

Nonsense. For many people being at Uni is stressful and it is a relief to go into the world of work.

Absolute nonsense Yorkie. Once you are in the world of work employers do not mess about and you don't (wrongly in my opinion) get the levels of support that you do at Uni. We interview Graduates and I wonder what on earth some of them have been doing for three to four years. Uni is not stressful if you are sensible and plan things properly. And I say this with my three youngest children currently at Uni.

 

[RichmondCommu]

How? because it is!

They are too. Different sorts of stress.

Yorkie on this occasion I think you are wrong. You have to go to Uni with an open mind, you have to try and make efforts to fit in and you have to plan your work properly. When I was at Uni in Manchester all those years a go (and with my family in Derbyshire) it was much harder to talk to parents then it is now. Yes I missed my family but I got on with it.

 

[D365]

All the planning in the world can't prepare you for every eventuality. Stress doesn't necessarily have to be due to work, home life and contact with family (or lack of) can affect one quite severely, for example. This last year has been one of the toughest for me personally for reasons that I don't wish to get into.

 

[scott118]

However in my opinion the word stress is used far too often for no good reason.

Agreed. My grandparents, like many others, lived & fought through a war and the poverty & anxiety that followed it. Their lives were so much simplier than today's multitude of choice. Were they ever 'stressed'? No, they took everything in their stride and grew from the experiences life, threw at them. They frowned upon anyone, who used this commonly overused phrase, today..

 

[RichmondCommu]

It's very easy to write that as a (presumably) middle-aged man, isn't it?

It's easy to forget how important things can seem when you're young.

Given that my three youngest children who I love very much are currently at Uni I understand that life at Uni is not plain sailing. However you have to be proactive and set out to make friends as opposed to sitting in your room feeling sorry for yourself.

 

[tony_mac]

Perhaps you could take your debate about the prevalence , or not, of stress, somewhere else? It is far from helpful to the OP.

 

[RichmondCommu]

All the planning in the world can't prepare you for every eventuality. Stress doesn't necessarily have to be due to work, home life and contact with family (or lack of) can affect one quite severely, for example. This last year has been one of the toughest for me personally for reasons that I don't wish to get into.

That's fair enough and I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling. I also think that more Uni's should run summer schools as I think that is of huge benefit for A Level students.

 

[yorkie]

Absolute nonsense Yorkie.

It isn't nonsense and is what several people have said to me, and matches my own experience. I understand this is different to your experience. But different people experience things differently. That's life!

Once you are in the world of work employers do not mess about and you don't (wrongly in my opinion) get the levels of support that you do at Uni.

Not always the case. My bosses are incredibly supportive and this wasn't the case at Uni, and I know others who would also say that support at Uni isn't always great.

We interview Graduates and I wonder what on earth some of them have been doing for three to four years.

Yes I agree that employability is a concern but this is arguably for another thread. We have discussed this before in other threads and, as you may recall from those discussions, I absolutely do share some of your concerns.

Uni is not stressful if you are sensible and plan things properly. And I say this with my three youngest children currently at Uni.

I disagree. Not all young people are able to "plan things properly" and no amount of "planning" or being "sensible" can stop some people finding Uni very stressful. When I was in my final year of Uni I was wishing I could be working (which I was doing part time and those were my favourite times of the working week).

Yorkie on this occasion I think you are wrong. You have to go to Uni with an open mind, you have to try and make efforts to fit in and you have to plan your work properly. When I was at Uni in Manchester all those years a go (and with my family in Derbyshire) it was much harder to talk to parents then it is now. Yes I missed my family but I got on with it.

I have not said anything that is "wrong". I accept that the experiences I had were different to yours, but that's different.

 

[RichmondCommu]

Perhaps you could take your debate about the prevalence , or not, of stress, somewhere else? It is far from helpful to the OP.

If you'd bothered to read my initial post properly I have a lot of sympathy for the OP with his current troubles. The only issue I have is with their supposed levels of 'stress'.

 

[Busaholic]

Absolute nonsense Yorkie. Once you are in the world of work employers do not mess about and you don't (wrongly in my opinion) get the levels of support that you do at Uni. We interview Graduates and I wonder what on earth some of them have been doing for three to four years. Uni is not stressful if you are sensible and plan things properly. And I say this with my three youngest children currently at Uni.

I found university quite stressful, even though I went as a so-called 'mature' student, about fifteen years older than most of the other students. It was by no means the enjoyable experience I was (mostly) expecting and it didn't really do anything for my career prospects either. Frankly, I found it depressing overall and I wish I hadn't persuaded myself that my education in the ways of the world would be improved by temporarily leaving the reality of work.

 

[J-2739]

Agreed. My grandparents, like many others, lived & fought through a war and the poverty & anxiety that followed it. Their lives were so much simplier than today's multitude of choice. Were they ever 'stressed'? No, they took everything in their stride and grew from the experiences life, threw at them. They frowned upon anyone, who used this commonly overused phrase, today..

But the difference is, that our generation is not fighting through a war like your grandparents did, so the two situations are not comparable.

It's not helping the OP by doing that.