When is banter actually intimidation?

[Up_Tilt_390]

Physically, women are on average weaker. For sure.

But they possess better emotional intelligence, for example. There are a number of traits where men and women differ and they basically all cancel each other out with neither sex being at an overall disadvantage.

Different bodies for different roles right?

 

[fowler9]

this is not how we won two world wars!

I thought it was because Hitler decided to invade Russia (At least in the second world war), not because it used to be OK to give women a cheeky pat on the bum and say nice tits darling.

 

[NSEFAN]

No, they most certainly don't seem like nice people at all. Hence why I'd rather punishments weren't cherry-picked. I'm sure we agree on that one.

I agree that they shouldn't be cherry picked. Out of interest, was the chap from Scotland ever punished, or just arrested?

But they possess better emotional intelligence, for example. There are a number of traits where men and women differ and they basically all cancel each other out with neither sex being at an overall disadvantage.

As a general point I agree with you, although in the context of the original "incident" at the start of this thread, I do see what EM2 is getting at. Given what's been said about men generally being physically stronger than women, can you not see how it could be more likely for a woman to feel intimidated by unwarranted comments on their appearance from a man? Human emotion isn't rational; the facts and figures on who's more likely to actually be the victim of physical violence don't stop someone finding a bigger and stronger person to be a bit intimidating.

 

[Up_Tilt_390]

I agree that they shouldn't be cherry picked. Out of interest, was the chap from Scotland ever punished, or just arrested?

At the minute I can't seem to find a story about any prosecution. I will check again later when I get back from martial arts practice and let you know. For all I know, the justice system could be bogging itself down with any trials, since it seems to do a better job at that than the criminals themselves.

I thought it was because Hitler decided to invade Russia (At least in the second world war), not because it used to be OK to give women a cheeky pat on the bum and say nice tits darling.

Okay lad, we didn't ask for your life story (Lol, just kidding. Couldn't resist that little bit of banter bait though )

 

[fowler9]

At the end of the day I am pretty sure women are more than capable of assessing if the person paying them a compliment was being polite or if they were a window licking pervert League Of Gentleman type character. In a customer facing role you are probably best in general keeping your gob shut even if what you say is meant with the best intentions. Occasionally in work I will say to a woman or man that they look particularly dapper. Never had a complaint against what I've said so far.

 

[gazthomas]

As the OP I have opened a can of worms. I posted as I was both surprised at the Guards style and the response of the woman sitting next door to me. I am very open minded and I thought the Guard was on the fruity side of Carry On/Benny Hill. Times change and its not about being PC. The woman (who was young and petite) was genuinely uncomfortable. I’ve been challenged on this forum as to whether I should have discussed this with the guard - as a customer/passenger I don’t see it as my role to set behavourial standards for staff in positions of authority. I have also been surprised at some comments - men do see the world quiet differently

 

[fowler9]

As the OP I have opened a can of worms. I posted as I was both surprised at the Guards style and the response of the woman sitting next door to me. I am very open minded and I thought the Guard was on the fruity side of Carry On/Benny Hill. Times change and its not about being PC. The woman (who was young and petite) was genuinely uncomfortable. I’ve been challenged on this forum as to whether I should have discussed this with the guard - as a customer/passenger I don’t see it as my role to set behavourial standards for staff in positions of authority. I have also been surprised at some comments - men do see the world quiet differently

I wouldn't have recommended you discussing it with the guard. If you thought it was out of order maybe raise it with the TOC. Perhaps he has a history of issues, perhaps you are over sensitive (Not that I am saying you are). Make sure you have it right in your head though because, especially in the current climate, you could be having a massive impact on two peoples lives.

 

[gazthomas]

I wouldn't have recommended you discussing it with the guard. If you thought it was out of order maybe raise it with the TOC. Perhaps he has a history of issues, perhaps you are over sensitive (Not that I am saying you are). Make sure you have it right in your head though because, especially in the current climate, you could be having a massive impact on two peoples lives.

I agree, which is why I let it pass. A difficult call as how many people have done exactly that - Saville,Weinstein, etc.

 

[fowler9]

I agree, which is why I let it pass. A difficult call as how many people have done exactly that - Saville, Bernstein, etc.

I don't know the answer mate. Sadly I think that is down to the victim to decide. Hopefully with what has come out recently people, or more specifically women, will feel more confident coming forward if they feel they have been abused in some way. If you have seen something blatant though then shout up. It is tricky.

 

[AlterEgo]

I agree, which is why I let it pass. A difficult call as how many people have done exactly that - Saville, Bernstein, etc.

Saville was a rapist, paedophile and sexual abuser, and Weinstein (I assume you mean him) is an alleged rapist and sexual predator.

The guard is merely being a bit too familiar. Surely you did not mean to compare the two?

 

[birchesgreen]

I think he means if you let things go at an early stage they can escalate. Saville for example could have been stopped decades earlier if someone thought him chatting fruitily to a young girl was not on.

 

[Bromley boy]

That isn't what I said. I said that the only reason women have the role of nursing children is that they have breasts.

So if a mother cannot breastfeed, or chooses not to, she’s no different to a father, then!?

You’re entitled to your opinion but that is a very eccentric view. I can assure you that most normal, well adjusted parents (and I know quite a few) would fundamentally disagree with this viewpoint.

It may not fit with the latest fashionable feminist claptrap (sorry, theory) but the fact is most women are biologically and psychologically better suited to raising children than men, particularly during their first few months of life.

This is one of the differences between men and women that has been hard wired by millennia of evolution. The average gorilla would also consider your opinion to be a pretty strange one!

As posted previously, there’s nothing wrong with ensuring we allow equal access to opportunities for both men and women but let’s not start pretending there are no differences between the sexes.

 

[EM2]

...let’s not start pretending there are no differences between the sexes.

We were discussing gender roles, not the sexes.

 

[matt]

This thread has now run its course.