What would happen in this scenario?

[JDi]

I was just watching "Border Force", a slightly dated documentary regarding the UK Border Agency (Now "Border Force"). Specifically, they were looking out for migrants riding on the back of lorries, attempting to enter the UK illegally.

I know this is absolutely absurd, but suppose I was in Calais one day, and wanted some kicks. (I hold a full British Passport).

Instead of riding in the front of a lorry, I intentionally "hide" in the back of the lorry, and hope that I don't get "caught".

Suppose the Border Agency checked the back of the lorry and found me. They ordered me out of the lorry, and warn the driver (who would be my friend) that he faces a fine of £2,000, for transporting an "illegal immigrant" to the United Kingdom.

I am escorted to a secure area, when, to the shock of the Border officials, I proudly produce my British passport.

Beyond the confusion of the immigration officers, and possibly annoyance for wasting their time, what would actually happen in this situation? Nothing illegal would have occurred, right, as I would hold a British passport?

Would the Border Force allow me back into the trailer of the lorry?

This is just a scenario that I just dreamed up - I am very imaginative.

I just imagine that this is the only way that anyone could enter the United Kingdom legally on the back of a lorry, albeit, I am not sure how well the Border Force would receive the joke.

 

[455driver]

At the very least you could expect a full body cavity search, you want to be clever then expect some repercussions.

 

[JDi]

At the very least you could expect a full body cavity search, you want to be clever then expect some repercussions.

Hahaha!! I imagine that there would be some Border officials who would be in hysterics at the joke, but some who would not see the funny side as much!

 

[yorkie]

If it was realised it was a deliberate joke and attempt to waste their time, then I am unsure what the repercussions could be, but I am sure there will be some!

This has to be the most bizarre thread ever posted.

I do not think many people on the forum can answer the question as worded as to "what would happen"

 

[MidnightFlyer]

This has to be the most bizarre thread ever posted.

Oh I don't know, London Midland Class 87s will take some beating

I probably should know this for sure, but I would guess that a passenger knowingly riding in the trailer of a lorry is illegal, so you'd be reprimanded for that at least. Given the nature of the incident I'm presuming you might also be close to the Borderforce equivalent of wasting police time?

 

[me123]

This has to be the most bizarre thread ever posted.

Agree, and that's amongst stiff competition! Has put a smile on my face, though.

Border officials are not known for their sense of humour. I find I usually get an easier time at the US border than the UK one! Expect a hard time.

Whilst you may well have the right to enter this country, any suggestion that you're trying to deliberately hide from the border checks will raise suspicion and you will be interrogated. Since wasting police team is a crime in England and Wales, I would suspect that wasting the time of the border staff would be at least frowned upon. I don't know if a deliberate attempt to evade border checks is a crime, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was.

TL;DR - Just don't do it.

 

[455driver]

Is the crime trying to enter the Country illegally or attempting to illegally enter the Country?
You would be trying to enter by an illegal means so could be treated as an illegal immigrant, British passport or not!

Difficult one to answer but I have a feeling they would easily find something to prosecute you with.

 

[JDi]

Is the crime trying to enter the Country illegally or attempting to illegally enter the Country?
You would be trying to enter by an illegal means so could be treated as an illegal immigrant, British passport or not!

Difficult one to answer but I have a feeling they would easily find something to prosecute you with.

I didn't think that there would be any crime, as I didn't think it would be illegal to enter my home country!

Presumably, I would have already went through passport control at Calais, so they would have already have checked me in. I was then proposing, in my imaginary scenario, that I board the back of the lorry, before it drives up to the inspection area (where they have the Carbon Dioxide probes).

I would have therefore legally shown my passport, just decided that I would like to ride on the ferry, and in Britain, in the back of a lorry.

When they find me, I would have already went through passport control, so to speak.

I just imagine that some officials would see the funny side, and others not so much so - but they would all hopefully appreciate the spirit of it!

I imagine that it would not be a case they have come across before - it will certainly provide humorous memories!

 

[Cowley]

Pretty sure it's an offence to travel in the trailer of a lorry or in a towed caravan or anything similar. It would also involve breaking and entering and possibly trespass? Wasting Police/Border controls time and probably a fair few other offences too.
I'm not sure how funny they would find it and I have a feeling that they'd do their best to make sure that after you initially shout "Surprise!" at them that they'd try to make you not enjoy the experience for too much longer.
This may or may not include the usage of latex gloves and may just involve a rather long wait in a holding cell while your laughter eventually deserts you.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Pretty sure it's an offence to travel in the trailer of a lorry or in a towed caravan or anything similar. It would also involve breaking and entering and possibly trespass? Wasting Police/Border controls time and probably a fair few other offences too.
I'm not sure how funny they would find it and I have a feeling that they'd do their best to make sure that after you initially shout "Surprise!" at them that they'd try to make you not enjoy the experience for too much longer.
This may or may not include the usage of latex gloves and may just involve a rather long wait in a holding cell while your laughter eventually deserts you.

It's actually legal to travel in a trailer which is connected to the towing vehicle by means of a "fifth-wheel" coupler (that's the type that articulated lorries use), provided there's a 2-way comms link between the trailer and the cab.

That's one reason that passenger carrying artics have been used at airports in the past, and why some rather extreme caravanners (if that's not an oxymoron) use a pick-up truck with a fifth-wheel "cup", and a caravan designed to be towed that way, rather than a traditional towball set-up.

 

[Flying Snail]

I didn't think that there would be any crime, as I didn't think it would be illegal to enter my home country!

Presumably, I would have already went through passport control at Calais, so they would have already have checked me in. I was then proposing, in my imaginary scenario, that I board the back of the lorry, before it drives up to the inspection area (where they have the Carbon Dioxide probes).

I would have therefore legally shown my passport, just decided that I would like to ride on the ferry, and in Britain, in the back of a lorry.

When they find me, I would have already went through passport control, so to speak.

I just imagine that some officials would see the funny side, and others not so much so - but they would all hopefully appreciate the spirit of it!

I imagine that it would not be a case they have come across before - it will certainly provide humorous memories!

You are seriously deluded if you think that customs and immigration officials would find any of this amusing.

If you think a quick wave of a British Passport and you'd be allowed on your way then think again. Ascertaining your right to entry would be a more involved process than a cursory glance at your passport, a spell in detention while they thoroughly checked out the documents and your right to carry them would be most likely.

Once they were sure you are who you say you are then they would be looking for other reasons you tried to conceal yourself, smuggling would be the most obvious suspicion, at the very least you will be stripping off in front of a not at all amused official. following that it will be internal concealment procedures. I'm guessing that by this point the joke would be well and truly over.

 

[EM2]

It's actually legal to travel in a trailer which is connected to the towing vehicle by means of a "fifth-wheel" coupler (that's the type that articulated lorries use), provided there's a 2-way comms link between the trailer and the cab.

Pretty sure that you can't stay in it on board a ferry, though.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Pretty sure that you can't stay in it on board a ferry, though.

You can't, but then you can't stay on the car deck during the crossing regardless of your vehicle.

 

[Groningen]

If you have a legal document to enter the United Kingdom; why spent than a journey in the back of a lorry. Save the fare of the Channel crossing? You think the lorrydriver finds it nice to have a freeloader in the lorry. You know the destination of the lorry in the United Kingdom?

 

[dosxuk]

I suspect they've already come across more than one attempted immigrant who upon detection has turned out to hold a "British passport". A passport that night look real for a few moments, but any sort of real inspection would reveal it to be a fake. Anyone holding an actual genuine passport should therefore expect to be accused of holding forged documents as well as attempting to enter illegally.

The idea that some of the staff would find this amusing is probably the most ridiculous thing in this thread.

 

[Bletchleyite]

You can't, but then you can't stay on the car deck during the crossing regardless of your vehicle.

Wouldn't the lack of a properly belted seat infringe the C&U regulations?

 

[DaleCooper]

This "prank" sounds about as clever as telling security staff at an airport that you have a bomb. You could expect little sympathy when you're detained for a few days while they check whether you are who you say you are and if the passport is fake.

 

[furnessvale]

A friend of mine is a retired Border Agency dog handler.

He has a good sense of humour but I don't think either of his two search dogs had much of one........but they did have quite big teeth!

 

[Howardh]

What happens if you are in your car/lorry (at the front, not playing silly beggars) and when you get to the port you find you have lost your passport? Is there a protocol in place for getting immediate access to, and off, the ferry/Eurostar/airport?

I usually carry a paper photocopy of my passport and keep it in my wallet and hope I don't lose that as well!

Has this happened to anyone?

 

[JDi]

To bring a more bizarre twist to this scenario, what would happen if the person attempting this crossing was of substantial authority, with arguably more power than the border officials themselves. Perhaps a sitting MP, a senior Civil Servant or a millionaire CEO? I guess then in this case, the border officials would be more inclined to laugh it off.

 

[DaleCooper]

To bring a more bizarre twist to this scenario, what would happen if the person attempting this crossing was of substantial authority, with arguably more power than the border officials themselves. Perhaps a sitting MP, a senior Civil Servant or a millionaire CEO? I guess then in this case, the border officials would be more inclined to laugh it off.

Exactly the same but without K-Y Jelly.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Wouldn't the lack of a properly belted seat infringe the C&U regulations?

In the scenario the OP suggests, yes it would- but somebody said that travelling in a trailer was illegal- which isn't the case providing certain conditions are met.

This thread is asking about a hypothetical situation, albeit a rather silly one. Some people are taking it rather more seriously than I assume the OP was intending it to be.

 

[Bletchleyite]

I suspect it'd be met with as much friendliness as doing something like putting a plastic toy weapon or fake "bomb" in a tray for X-ray at the airport. That is, your life would be made as difficult as legally possible for taking the mick. A British citizen can't be refused entry to the UK, but they certainly can detain you for a long time to investigate what was going on.

 

[dosxuk]

I guess then in this case, the border officials would be more inclined to laugh it off.

Why?

I'm certain there'd be no laughing off, more of an attempt to find any charges that'll stick. It would also do no good whatsoever to the public persona of those people to be caught trying to enter the country like this.

 

[trainmania100]

I believe youll get fined for not wearing a seatbelt.
Police are occasionally at ports such as newhaven, from which i see them regularly from my bedroom window. Thorough checks are made on all lorries coming off the ships as well as on

 

[JDi]

Imagine getting "caught" in front of hundreds of migrants in 'The Jungle' - It would make a lot of the refugees who try to come to the UK illegally very jealous, if they see a UK citizen being "caught" in the lorry, but instead of being detained, clearly be seen to have a laugh with their fellow countrymen/women.

 

[DaleCooper]

Can a passport be withdrawn if it is misused? They could at least confiscate it for an indefinite period while investigations were ongoing.

 

[JDi]

Can a passport be withdrawn if it is misused? They could at least confiscate it for an indefinite period while investigations were ongoing.

I don't think that they would withdraw it in this circumstance. The border guards all look so friendly on the TV programme - I could imagine them having a good laugh about it.

Here is another twist to the tale - what would happen, if a UK Border Force employee, after their shift in Calais attempted to "hide" in the back of a lorry to get home. How would the Border Agents react, if the person they caught doing his was a colleague?

 

[DaleCooper]

The border guards all look so friendly on the TV programme - I could imagine them having a good laugh about it.

If you think you can judge their amiability from a staged situation on a television programme then I suggest you stay well away from them until life has knocked a bit of cynicism into you.

 

[Howardh]

I don't think that they would withdraw it in this circumstance. The border guards all look so friendly on the TV programme - I could imagine them having a good laugh about it.

Here is another twist to the tale - what would happen, if a UK Border Force employee, after their shift in Calais attempted to "hide" in the back of a lorry to get home. How would the Border Agents react, if the person they caught doing his was a colleague?

Think this is getting a little far fetched.....??

A more likely senario is the "secret shopper" situation where border guards are tested to see how alert they are - ie when drugs are hidden by the authorities to test dogs/machinery, you could have a situation where authorities "plant" people in lorries etc to test security and their systems.

Although should one such tester be found, I'd like to hear the ensuing conversation "who are you?"
"I'm an official government tester"
"Oh, of course you are, now get in the back of that van while I search your backside"
"Oh...here's my pass *fumbling around frantically*"

Now THAT would make for half-decent TV!