What am I, psychic...?

[Boppawombat]

Gary "Trophy Handles" Lineker then!

 

[TDK]

Gary "Trophy Handles" Lineker then!

None of them - he was mainly on R5 Live but was also on the BBC - no more clues

 

[90019]

he was mainly on R5 Live but was also on the BBC

The same thing, surely?

 

[TDK]

The same thing, surely?

I meant BBCTV - but well spotted

 

[pendolino]

Back on topic.....

Today at Victoria:

Foreign tourist (Italian I think): is there internet access here?

Me: Sorry? Do you mean wifi?

FT: No, internet access cafe.

Me: Ummm.......I've no idea. Sorry I can't help.

 

[12CSVT]

Has any other member of staff noticed that even when out of uniform, you get asked questions at railway stations by punters? I wonder whether some recognise me as staff even when I'm off duty and wearing jeans, or whether I have been branded with 'railway' on my forehead or what it is!

I have to say it doesn't really bother me - unless I'm really in a hurry to get my own train, but it's always struck me as strange and I know a few of my colleagues who have the same experiences as me just as often!

I think it would be acceptable to pretend to be just another member of the public in those circumstances. After all, management would hardly have grounds to discipline you for what you do (or don't do) while you're off duty.

 

[hairyhandedfool]

I think it would be acceptable to pretend to be just another member of the public in those circumstances. After all, management would hardly have grounds to discipline you for what you do (or don't do) while you're off duty.

They may not be able to discipline you for many things off duty (I won't say all things), but I wouldn't want a mark against my name for something trivial.

 

[YorkshireBear]

My conductor today thought he was pyscic. I have a 4 weekly pass for SYPTE area on all public transport. It expired yesterday, because i dont get much time to go and buy a new one it was bought at beginning of week and put behind current card until today. Got on train this morning and i forgot, to get new one from behind.

Comes up and looks funny and i suddenly realise i forgot so i bring the pass towards me to to get it out and he snatches it out of my hand before i can do it. As im doing this i say "oh i just realised..." interupted "you just realised what? i could tell from your body language ive seen your type before, did you think id not notice" so i just raise my voice a little and say "no, ive just realised the pass valid from today is behind that one i forgot to swap them this morning" well the look on his face was something to behold.

Didnt apologise for humiliating me infront of carriage just went and sulked in rear cab. I dont mind him doing his job but i would of liked an apology for him stereotyping me like that and being wrong. I'm not sure what i was doing with my body language to make him think i was a fare dodger i was just stood there reading paper.....

 

[Matt Taylor]

Indeed, I know at least one of my colleagues because of comments he made online out of work.

 

[Yew]

Henley on Arden? My great grandad founded the boating club there

 

[whhistle]

Expecting a uniformed railway employee to know what's going on with the railway? How unreasonable.

In John Lewis (which sets the standard for customer service) the employee would make an effort to find out what the problem was and not simply say "I'm very sorry but I can't help".

No wonder the general public hold the railways and their employees in such low esteem.

"Yes sir, let me find out for you. By the way, as we're walking to find out, you are delaying around 100 other passengers who I am supposed to be driving home, but no matter as you are the most important person in the world right now and I must help you, because you obviously can't be bothered to listen to announcements, nor can you think for yourself and ask someone at the help point!"

Some people... seriously.
Yes, I expect in a shop someone to know where products are, but on the railways, when the person has *obviously* just arrived, no... just no.

 

[ANorthernGuard]

"Yes sir, let me find out for you. By the way, as we're walking to find out, you are delaying around 100 other passengers who I am supposed to be driving home, but no matter as you are the most important person in the world right now and I must help you, because you obviously can't be bothered to listen to announcements, nor can you think for yourself and ask someone at the help point!"

Some people... seriously.
Yes, I expect in a shop someone to know where products are, but on the railways, when the person has *obviously* just arrived, no... just no.

I will always do my best for passengers, but some people just don't get the fact that there are 100's of stations and trains and times and even though I do know a great deal about the railway, contrary to public belief I don't know everything

 

[asylumxl]

contrary to public belief I don't know everything

You don't?!

You lied to me! ad:

 

[EM2]

Something I once wrote on another forum:

Don't bother checking the timetable. Trains run 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, every ten minutes to whatever station you might want to go to.

Don't worry about the terms and conditions of your ticket. There's nothing I like more than tangling with the intricacies of ticketing. Fourteen times in an eight-hour shift...

You know all those signs that show you the way to places and electronic display boards that tell you what time the train goes, where it goes to and on what platform? Ignore them, they're only there for decoration. Just ask me! And if you've just listened to me answer a question, why not ask me exactly the same question five seconds later?! And then ask again, just to make sure. And then repeat my answer back to me in a questioning tone.

And give me as little information as you can. I'm actually psychic, so when you ask 'Where do I get my train?' I know exactly which one you mean, out of the dozens of trains that run every day.

If you want to go to a particular station, don't ask me about trains to that station, ask about another one! For example, if you want to go to St. Albans, don't ask me when the next train to St. Albans is, ask me when the next Bedford train is.

Always listen to 'what your mate said' and NEVER check with the station. If your mate says there's a train from St Pancras to Bristol, well there must be! Despite the fact that there has never, ever, ever been one.

Don't bother checking at the weekend if your train might be affected by engineering work. There never is any work really, we just say that so we can muck about with the timetable.

Of course, I am responsible for the entire global transport network, so if your plane from Rome was two hours late, your train from Portsmouth was cancelled, there was a signal failure on the Underground or your taxi driver got lost on the way to the station, obviously that's all my fault. Sorry.

And it's also my fault that there are no taxis at 7.15 on a Sunday morning when you want one.

Related to that, I also know the depature times and fares to every single other station in the country, plus flight times from Heathrow, Luton, Stansted and Gatwick plus the ferries from Dover. Go on, test me.

If you do need to ask someone for information, don't bother asking someone who actually works for the railway. Why not ask a security guard or, even better, a policeman!

Please do try and go against 150 years of railway practice and try to board a train without buying a ticket. Of course we'll make an exception just for you.

Also, we are privy to the travel plans of every single customer, so we are more than happy to hold the train while you pick up your bag from Left Luggage, go and get a coffee, a sandwich and a newspaper and wander up to the platform like you have all the time in the world.

When the sign says that barriers will close one minute before departure, that actually means 'but if you ask really nicely, we'll open the barriers just for you.'

If the train that you want to catch doesn't have a platform displayed, we do actualy know which platform it will go from, we just don't want to tell you.

When we have discussed all the possible combinations and permutations of your journey, please do ignore my answer and go and ask someone else.

 

[Fred26]

Brilliant.

 

[Flamingo]

+1:d:d:d
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---
What I REALLY hate is when someone stops me going through a busy train, asks the details for a complicated journey, after I spend precious minutes looking it up, says "Yes, that's what the NT website/ticket office said" and produces a print-out of the same information!

 

[DelayRepay]

The one that makes me chuckle as a passenger is when you see a queue of people all waiting to ask staff "is this the train to London?" Despite there beong a monitor showing the destination, and also screens on the train showing where it's going.

And when they get on, they inevitably ask at least three other passengers where the train is going!

 

[asylumxl]

I've had many people ask me at St Pancras high level which way the train is going... That's what ticks me off. And often had people ask me when I'm coming back from work about train information, and I don't even work for a TOC :\.

 

[DelayRepay]

And a bizzare one last week on a Sheffield to st pancras - "do you know how to get to paddington?"

I didn't but another passenger gave detailed directions. The person asking the question said...

Thank you, I'm catching the eurostar and don't want to be late!

 

[exile]

Whilst I don't, as a customer, wish to denigrate my fellow passengers, it's remarkable how few people know which train is the "front train".

 

[Greenback]

Most people just want reassurance. Despite being quite knowledgeable about the system geographically, even I sometimes have the urge to double check by asking member of staff. Usually I resist that urge, which is why I have been on the wrong twice!

 

[SS4]

The one that makes me chuckle as a passenger is when you see a queue of people all waiting to ask staff "is this the train to London?" Despite there beong a monitor showing the destination, and also screens on the train showing where it's going.

And when they get on, they inevitably ask at least three other passengers where the train is going!

I get that all the time at New St. I've been on the platform and asked if the train to Sutton Coldfield leaves from (on platform 8A where the Sutton train always stops and the departure board shows it too).

Or standing by the door on a Pendo (which has the departure time on the door) and being asked if this is the XX:XX service to London.

Best one of all has to be on a LM train from EUS-BHM where some guy comes up to me and asks if he's in one of the front four coaches (the train split at NMP with the first 4 going on to BHM). In the end I made a point of looking forward to the door leading to the driver and said this is the front coach.

 

[DaveNewcastle]

These last few posts are a good giggle - how stupid can passenger be, eh?

But hold on, perhaps there's a reason why these passengers are not as confident and assured as we are. Firstly, they're probably not regulars. Second, they're not staff. Third, they may actually be less well intellectually or physically agile as us. Fourth, they've probably read the stories of folks being charged for a £100+ Anytime (which they'd never heard of) on top of the advertised £15 Advance which they had for the train which was the one in front.

In fact, the 'horror stories' (exaggerated or not) are just asking for the nervousness and lack of confidence which the infrequent passenger experiences. So to be fair, I don't bgeleive that the industry's own PR does itself favours in persistently promoting the offers and 'deals', while leaving the punitive and/or expensive Ts and Cs in the small print.

So while we must all keep our eyes open for the dodgers and other crooks taking advantage, lets be a little more supportive for those who, for whatever reason, find rail travel daunting, intimidating and even fearfull? Please.

 

[SS4]

These last few posts are a good giggle - how stupid can passenger be, eh?

But hold on, perhaps there's a reason why they're not as confident and assured as we are. Firstly, they're probably not regulars. Second, they're not staff. Third, they've probably read the stories of folks being charged for a £100+ Anytime (which they'd never heard of) on top of the advertised £15 Advance which they had for the train which was the one in front.

In fact, the 'horror stories' (exaggerated or not) are just asking for the nervousness and lack of confidence which the infrequent passenger experiences. So to be fair, I don't bgeleive that the industry's own PR does itself favours in persistently promoting the offers and 'deals', while leaving the punitive and/or expensive Ts and Cs in the small print.

So while we must all keep our eyes open for the dodgers and other crooks taking advantage, lets be a little more supportive for those who, for whatever reason, find rail travel daunting, intimidating and even fearfull? Please.

Of course you're right. While I might smirk about it later I am never impolite to anyone who asks

 

[Greenback]

Monitors are not always right, announcements often have to be made in Swansea to override the information on the screens. As a regular, I can usually tell whether the info is right on the screens, but for an irregular passenger they may not know. And then perhaps the announcements can't be heard...

My mistakes have occurred in places I am not familiar with, and have been due to failures like those I have just mentioned. However, I was confident that I knew best due to my knowledge and railway experience. I wish I had asked what may have appeared to be stupid questions, I may have saved myself more than an hour's delay each time!

 

[ralphchadkirk]

The only stupid question is the unasked one. If you're unsure, ask! That is what the passenger facing staff are for.

 

[DelayRepay]

Do you give nectar points?

 

[ralphchadkirk]

Do you give nectar points?

Ok, yes, there are some stupid asked questions!

 

[RobShipway]

Being a passenger who only travels from time to time, which is possibly the same as the passengers emhtioned in the above posts what I find annoying is when I booked in advance and reserved my seat that the day I actually get he train someone else is actually sitting in it saying they have reserved it as well. I then have to explain when they tell me that they have reserved seat 25 in coach C, that they are actually sitting in coach B. This is down to the fact that customers think that the seats are individually numbered throughout the whole train and do not realise the seats are done on a per carriage basis and the carriage letter can usually be found on the LED display on the door.

Now, maybe for me it is easier than some passengers as I grew up travelling on trains as neother of my parents could drive a car until well after I started working, but even from fellow passengers at times you do get some funny questions.

The best for me is the question as to why the A carriage is not always at the front of the train?

 

[MCR247]

Well it isn't possible when a train doesnt have electric displays like 22x & 390s.

And what about when a train reverses?