Voice Announcer Game

[43021HST]

You know the Announcer which announces arrivals and departures of trains at most major stations, well I have thought of a great game to play.
The rules are you are to announce different trains. You can make it as silly or as sensible as you like. Such as.

Sensible: The 10:50 First Great Western service to London Paddington is arriving at Platform 2 calling at Slough and London Paddington

Silly: The train arriving at platform 4 is a virgin voyager: will passengers please note there is never enough space for your legs, there is some drunks in carriage B and the toilets dont flush. Also it is scheduled for a breakdown outside of slough. Enjoy your Journey.

Yours Karl

 

[Broken Viking]

[BR four-note intro sounds...]

"Ladies and gentlemen. We regret to announce that the 17:45 First Great Western service to London Paddington has been cancelled due to excessive pixellation of the train at Bristol Temple Meads.
First Great Western would like to apologise for the inconvenience caused to your journey."

 

[P156KWJ]

London Euston, this is London Euston. The train standing at platform 1 is the London Midland merry-go-round capital train. Calling at Queens Park (reversal point), West Hampstead, St Pancras Low Level, City Thameslink, Blackfriars, London Bridge, Peckham Rye, Clapham High Street, Battersea Park, Victoria (reversal point), Clapham Junction (reversal point), Vauxhall, Waterloo (reversal point), Clapham Junction (reversal point), Olympia, Ealing broadway (reversal point), Paddington (reversal point), High Wycombe, Aylesbury (reversal point), Amersham, Harrow-on-the-hill, South Kenton (via some magic junction), Wembley Central, Queens Park and Euston. This service is formed of a class 150.

And before anybody gets picky, I know you can't reverse at Clapham Junction from the Victoria to the Waterloo lines! Let's pretend you can

 

[D306]

you can't reverse at Clapham Junction but you can change ends

 

[P156KWJ]

you can't reverse at Clapham Junction but you can change ends

it's still known as a reversal movement AFAIK?

 

[D306]

a reversal movement would take it back to a depot or a siding rather than a platform

 

[nath9425]

'Ding Ding Ding Ding'

"WARNING, The approaching train thats not planning to stop could make quite a mess of the man stood right next to the platform edge. Feel free to observe and laugh when he is in pieces."

 

[Coxster]

"The train now approaching platform two is the twelve twenty-t..... oh my God. I'm so fed up of this crap! This is the 1285th announcement that I have had to make today. I always have to sound happy and it's ME that has to apologise when your train is late. I'm just a computer that makes announcements every few minutes - why should I care? I can assure you that I most certainly do not. I resign..."

 

[laseandre]

"The next train at Platform 1 is the 1223 First Scotrail service to BLanark."

"The next train at Platform 17 is the 1201 First Scotrail service to Balloch, where you will get jumped by neds on the train, and left, finally gaining conciousness at 0300 tomorrow morning, by which time the train will be stabled in Yoker Depot and everyone will have left."

 

[me123]

"Welcome to Penzance Station. Platform 2, front two carriages for the oh-eight-oh-nine crosscountry, First Great Western and First Scotrail Pacer service to Wick.

This train will call at St. Erth, Hayle, Camborne, Redruth, Truro, St Austell, Par, Lostwitheil, Bodmin Parkway, Liskeard, Menheniot, St Germans, Saltash, St Budeaux Ferry Road, Dockyard, Devonport, Plymouth, Ivybridge, Totnes, Newton Abbot, Teignmouth, Dawlish, Dawlish Warren, Starcross, Exeter St. Thomas, Exeter St. Davids, Tiverton Parkway, Taunton, Bridgwater, Highbridge and Burnham, Weston-super-Mare, Weston Milton, Worle, Yatton, Nailsea and Backwell, Parson Street, Bedminster, Bristol Temple Meads, Lawrence Hill, Stapleton Road, Montpelier, Redland, Clifton Down, Sea Mills, Shirehampton, Avonmouth, St Andrews Road, Bristol Parkway, Yate, Cam and Dursley, Gloucester, Cheltenham Spa, Ashchurch for Tewkesbury, Worcester Shrub Hill, Droitwich Spa, Bromsgrove, Barnt Green, Longbridge, Northfield, Kings Norton, Bournville, Selly Oak, University, Five Ways, Birmingham New Street, Water Orton, Coleshill Parkway, Nuneaton, Tamworth, Burton-on-Trent, Willington, Derby, Spondon, Long Eaton, Attenborough, Beeston, Nottingham, Langley Mill, Alfreton, Chesterfield, Dronfield, Sheffield, Meadowhall, Rotherham Central, Swinton, Bolton-on-Dearne, Goldsthorpe, Thurnscoe, Moorthorpe, Fitzwilliam, Sandall and Agbrigg, Wakefield Westgate, Outwood, Leeds, Burley Park, Headingly, Horsforth, Weeton, Pannal, Hornbeam Park, Harrogate, Starbeck, Knaresborough, Cattal, Hammerton, Poppleton, York, Thirsk, Northallerton, Darlington, Durham, Chester-le-Street, Newcastle, Manors, Cramlington, Morpeth, Pegswood, Widdrington, Acklington, Alnmouth, Chathill, Berwick-upon-Tweed, Dunbar, Drem, Longniddry, Prestonpans, Wallyford, Musselburgh, Edinburgh Waverley, Haymarket, Slateford, Kingsknowe, Wester Hailes, Curriehill, Kirknewton, Livingston South, West Calder, Addiewell, Breich, Fauldhouse, Shotts, Hartwood, Cleland, Carfin, Holytown, Motherwell, Airbles, Hamilton Central, Hamilton West, Blantyre, Newton, Cambuslang, Rutherglen, Dalmarnock, Bridgeton, Argyle Street, Glasgow Central Low Level, Anderston, Exhibition Centre, Partick, Hyndland, Anniesland, Kelvindale, Maryhill, Summerston, Gilshochill, Possilpark and Parkhouse, Ashfield, Springburn, Stepps, Gartcosh, Greenfaulds, Cumbernauld, Camelon, Falkirk Grahamston, Polmont, Linlithgow, Dalmeny, North Queensferry, Inverkeithing, Rosyth, Dunfermline Town, Dunfermline Queen Margaret, Cowdenbeath, Lochgelly, Cardenden, Glenrothes with Thornton, Markinch, Ladybank, Springfield, Cupar, Leuchars, Dundee, Broughty Ferry, Balmossie, Monifieth, Barry Links, Golf Street, Carnoustie, Arbroath, Montrose, Laurencekirk, Stonehaven, Portlethen, Aberdeen, Dyce, Inverurie, Insch, Huntly, Keith, Elgin, Forres, Nairn, Inverness, Beauly, Muir of Ord, Dingwall, Alness, Invergordon, Fearn, Tain, Ardgay, Culrain, Invershin, Lairg, Rogart, Golspie, Dunrobin Castle, Brora, Helmsdale, Kildonan, Kinbrace, Forsinard, Altnabreac, Scotscalder, Georgemas Junction, Thurso, Georgemas Junction and Wick.

This train does not convey any smoking accommodation. A catering trolley service is provided throughout. Platform 2 front two carriages for the oh-eight-oh-nine crosscountry, First Great Western and First Scotrail Pacer service to Wick. This train is expected to depart on time".

 

[Coxster]

Methinks someone has a little too much time on their hands! hock:

 

[me123]

"The train now passing Platform 1 at high speed is the cancelled 07:21 service to London Euston. Ha ha".
"The next train to depart from Platform 1A is the 12:45 service to Norwich. Please be advised that this train is extremely busy and, for health and safety reasons, we advise passengers never to travel on this route".
"The next train on Platform 1 is the 13:30 service to Kyle of Lochalsh. This train is formed of 6 carriages today. Before departure, let us take a few minutes to think of the poor sods in England who really deserve these units much more than we do".

 

[43034 The Black Horse]

[BR four-note intro sounds...]

"Ladies and gentlemen. We regret to announce that the 17:45 First Great Western service to London Paddington has been cancelled due to excessive pixellation of the train at Bristol Temple Meads.
First Great Western would like to apologise for the inconvenience caused to your journey."

Thought FGWs Multi Million ££ Program stopped that!?

 

[90019]

"The next train arriving at platform 3 will be terminating on Euston Road as the brakes have failed"

"Could the fat man in coach C of the 1428 First ScotRail service to North Berwick please move away from the side of the carriage as the train is about to fall over"

 

[MCR247]

Lime St
[Ding Dong]

We are sorry to announce that the 13:52 East Midlands Trains to Norwich is cancelled..[aside]oh no not again, Johnny, call the BTP we 'ave some trouble coming.[/aside] This is due to the guard being claustrophbic [aside] Johnny, why would he work with East Midlands Trains! [/aside] We are sorry for inconvienience caused! [aside]I aint [/aside]

 

[me123]

"Only you can hear me..."

And from the fat man one...

"Welcome onboard the 1430 Virgin Pendolino service to Glasgow Central. TO activate the tilting mechanism, passengers should run between either side of the carriage as needed to tilt the train in that direction. If you don't, we derail. Good luck, and thank you for traveling Virgin".

 

[90019]

"Haha, you're all going to be late, and we're not going to tell you anything!"

"Duck!"

 

[wensley]

"Welcome aboard the class 142 DMU service from Middlesborough to Whitby. This train is for little Johnny's birthday bouncy-castle bash only. All children are reminded to be vidgilent regarding luggage racks when the train is crossing over points or jointed rails. Other than this safety message we hope that you enjoy your journey aboard this service and no injuries are sustained"

Later in the journey...

"This is you guard speaking. Passengers are reminded to fasten their seatbelts for the entrance to Battersby Station. Please to not un-buckle you belts till the train has stopped moving. As at leat half of our passengers have been knocked out during this journey the crew will gratefully accept donations of cake ( ). Thank You"

 

[John_158]

Liverpool Lime Street

"The train now standing on platfrom 8 is the 17.52 East Midlands Trains Master Sardine Service to Norwich.

EMT Liverpol -Norwich On Train announcment :-

"Ladies and Gentlemen we are now arriving in to Liveprool Lime Street where this Service Terminates, Thankyou For Tarveling on the Master Sardine Service today we hope you have had a pleasent journey, If not then tuff.

 

[Broken Viking]

"The next train arriving at platform 3 will be terminating on Euston Road as the brakes have failed"
"Could the fat man in coach C of the 1428 First ScotRail service to North Berwick please move away from the side of the carriage as the train is about to fall over"

Classic ones there, mate!

"WARNING, The approaching train thats not planning to stop could make quite a mess of the man stood right next to the platform edge. Feel free to observe and laugh when he is in pieces."

Now that's an announcement that I'd like to hear! hock:

Dare I mention the old one "This train is for Dollis Hill. Calling at: Dollis Hill. The next station is: Dollis Hill" :razz:
_______________________________________

Anyhow...I just arrived in Aldershot off of the 09:07 from London Waterloo, and this is pretty much what the announcer was saying throughout the entire journey... :roll:

"Welcome aboard this South West Trains service to Basingstoke and Alton. Calling at Wimbledon, Surbiton and Woking, where this train will divide. Passengers for Brookwood, Farnborough, Fleet, Winchfield, Hook and Basingstoke should travel in the front part of the train. Passengers for Brookwood, Ash, Aldershot, Farnham, Bentley and Alton should travel in the rear part of the train. Passengers for Brookwood, Farnborough, Fleet, Winchfield, Hook and Basingstoke should travel in the front part of the train. Passengers for Brookwood, Ash, Aldershot, Farnham, Bentley and Alton should travel in the rear part of the train.. Passengers for Brookwood, Farnborough, Fleet, Winchfield, Hook and Basingstoke should travel in the front part of the train. Passengers for Brookwood, Ash, Aldershot, Farnham, Bentley and Alton should travel in the rear part of the train.. Passengers for Brookwood, Farnborough, Fleet, Winchfield, Hook and Basingstoke should travel in the front part of the train. Passengers for Brookwood, Ash, Aldershot, Farnham, Bentley and Alton should travel in the rear part of the train.. Passengers for Brookwood, Farnborough, Fleet, Winchfield, Hook and Basingstoke should travel in the front part of the train. Passengers for Brookwood, Ash, Aldershot, Farnham, Bentley and Alton should travel in the rear part of the train.. Passengers for Brookwood, Farnborough, Fleet, Winchfield, Hook and Basingstoke should travel in the front part of the train. Passengers for Brookwood, Ash, Aldershot, Farnham, Bentley and Alton should travel in the rear part of the train. Passengers for Brookwood, Farnborough, Fleet, Winchfield, Hook and Basingstoke should travel in the front part of the train. Passengers for Brookwood, Ash, Aldershot, Farnham, Bentley and Alton should travel in the rear part of the train." :roll::?
No, that's not a cut 'n' paste error. The announcer just wouldn't shut up about which parts of the train were going where!

 

[MCR247]

Liverpool Lime St:
Platform 4 for the 0952 East Midlands Trains service to Wherever the train gets before it brakes down. The trains is now boarding from platform 4. Passengers travelling to stations to Manchester Piccadilly are advised to travel on other services.

Onboard
Welcome on board the 0952 East Midlands Trains service to.....erm well today we are expected to makeit to Widnes! This is a new record for us! We Hope you enjoy your journey

 

[90019]

"The train now arriving on platforms 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10 has just crashed into the station"

 

[mbonwick]

"Please do not stand near the platform edge as this 'liner passes through, or you may get sucked off"

 

[Coxster]

Death: It would seem that the PIS was well and truely screwed... and not just because of the repetition! Ash is on the North Downs Line - Ash Vale is the one on the Alton branch

 

[43021HST]

All passengers boarding the 10:15 train to Didcot you have just missed it due to the driver getting impatient. Please note the Doors are still open so you can do a Hollywood style run and leap onto the train

 

[90019]

All passengers boarding the 10:15 train to Didcot you have just missed it due to the driver getting impatient. Please note the Doors are still open so you can do a Hollywood style run and leap onto the train

I saw something like that whilst waiting for a train in Brussels Airport (I think) a couple of years ago; A guy came running towards a train on the other platform as it started to pull away, the guard still had the local door open, so he ran alongside the train, threw his bag in and then jumped into the train

 

[John_158]

Liverpool Lime St:
Platform 4 for the 0952 East Midlands Trains service to Wherever the train gets before it brakes down. The trains is now boarding from platform 4. Passengers travelling to stations to Manchester Piccadilly are advised to travel on other services.

Onboard
Welcome on board the 0952 East Midlands Trains service to.....erm well today we are expected to makeit to Widnes! This is a new record for us! We Hope you enjoy your journey

I like that one !

Another Good one for EMT

On Board from Norwich

"Welcome on board this 14.57 Service to Liverpool Lime Street due to the fitters having an extra tea break they didn't have time to fix the other engine so we will be traveling at a speeds between 30MPH and 45MPH we are expected to arrive in Liverpool Lime Street at 06.32am (The Next Day if we are lucky"

Abit off topic her but whilst im in the mood :-

EMTs logo says Get on Board it Should Say Sqeeze onboard !

 

[me123]

Welcome to the First Scotrail Service to Yoker. This train will call at Aberdeen, Aberdour, Achanalt, Achnasheen, Achnashellach, Addiewell, Airbles, Airdrie, Alexandra Parade, Alexandria, Alloa, Alness, Altnabreac, Anderston, Annan, Anniesland, Arbroath, Ardgay, Ardlui, Ardrossan Harbour, Ardrossan South Beach, Ardrossan Town, Argyle Street, Arisaig, Arrochar and Tarbet, Ashfield, Attadale, Auchinleck, Aviemore, Ayr, Ballieston, Balloch, Balmossie, Banavie, Barassie, Bargeddie, Barnhill, Barrhead, Barrhill, Bathgate, Bearsden, Beasdale, Beauly, Bellgrove, Bellshill, Bishopbriggs, Bishopton, Blair Atholl, Blairhill, Blantyre, Bogston, Bowling, Branchton, Breich, Bridge of Allan, Bridge of Orchy, Bridgeton, Brora, Broughty Ferry, Brunstane, Burnside, Burntisland, Busby, Cambuslang, Camelon, Cardenden, Cardonald, Cardross, Carfin, Carlisle, Carluke, Carmyle, Carnoustie, Carntyne, Carrbridge, Carstairs, Cartsdyke, Cathcart, Charing Cross, Chatelherault, Clarkston, Cleland, Clydebank, Coatbridge Central, Coatbridge Sunnysude, Coatdyke, Connel Ferry, Corkerhill, Corpach, Corrour, Cowdenbeath, Craigendoran, Crianlarich, Croftfoot, Crookston, Crosshill, Crossmyloof, Croy, Culrain, Cumbernauld, Cupar Curriehill, Dalgetty Bay, Dalmally, Dalmarnock, Dalmeny, Dalmuir, Dalreoch, Dalry, Dalwhinnie, Dingwall, Drem, Drumchapel, Drumfrochar, Drumgelloch, Drumry, Duirnish, Duke Street, Dumbarton Central, Dumbarton East, Dumbreck, Dumfries, Dunblane, Duncraig, Dundee, Dunfermline Queen Margaret, Dunfermline Town, Dunkeld and Birnam, Dunlop, Dunrobin Castle, Dyce, East Kilbride, Easterhous, Edinburgh Park, Edinburgh Waverley, Elgin, Exhibition Centre, Fairlie, Falkirk Grahamston, Falkirk High, Falls of Cruachan, Fauldhouse, Fearn, Forres, Forsinard, Fort Matilda, Fort William, Garelochhead, Garrowhill, Garscadden, Gartcosh, Garve, Georgemas Junction, Giffnock, Gilshochill, Girvan, Glasgow Central, Glasgow Queen Street, Gleneagles, Glenfinnan, Glengarnock, Glenrothes with Thornton, Golf Street, Golspie, Gourock, Greenfaulds, Greenock Central, Greenock West, Gretna, Hairmyres, Hamilton Central, Hamilton West, Hartwood, Hawkhead, Haymarket, Helensburgh Central, Helensburgh Upper, Helmsdale, High Street, Hillfoot, Hillington East, Hillington West, Holytown, Howwood, Huntly, Hyndland, IBM, Insch, Invergordon, Invergowrie, Inverkeithing, Inverkip, Inverness, Invershin, Inverurie, Irvine, Johnstone, Jordanhill, Keith, Kelvindale, Kennishead, Kildonan, Kilmarnock, Kilmaurs, Kilpatrick, Kilwinning, Kinbrace, King's Park, Kinghorn, Kingsknowe, Kingussie, Kirkcaldy, Kirkconnel, Kirkhill, Kirknewton, Kirkwood, Kyle of Lochalsh, Ladybank, Lairg, Lanark, Langbank, Langside, Larbert, Largs, Larkhall, Lenzie, Leuchars, Linlithgow, Livingston North, Livingston South, Loch Awe, Loch Eil Outward Bound, Lochailort, Locheilside, Lochgelly, Lochloichart, Lochwinnoch, Longniddry, Mallaig, Markinch, Maryhill, Maxwell Park, Maybole, Merryton, Milliken Park, Milngavie, Monifieth, Montrose, Morar, Mosspark, Motherwell, Mount Florida, Mount Vernon, Muir of Ord, Muirend, Musselburgh, Nairn, Neilston, New Cumnock, Newcraighall, Newton, Newton-on-Ayr, Newtonmore, Nitshill, North Berwick, North Queensferry, Oban, Paisley Canal, Paisley Gilmour Street, Paisley St James, Partick, Patterton, Perth, Pitlochry, Plockton, Pollockshaws East, Pollockshaws West, Pollockshields East, Pollockshields West, Polmont, Port Glasgow, Portlethen, Possilpark and Parkhouse, Prestonpans, Prestwick International Airport, Prestwick Town, Priesthill and Darnley, Queen's Park, Rannoch, Renton, Rogart, Rosyth, Roy Bridge, Rutherglen, Saltcoats, Sanquhar, Scotscalder, Scotstounhill, Shawlands, Shettleston, Shieldmuir, Shotts, Singer, Slateford, South Gyle, Spean Bridge, Springburn, Springfield, Stepps, Stevenston, Stewarton, Stirling, Stonehaven, Stranraer Harbour, Strathcarron, Stromeferry, Summerston, Tain, Taynuilt, Thornliebank, Thorntonhall, Thurson, Troon, Tulloch, Tyndrum Lower, Uddingston, Uphall, Upper Tyndrum, Wallyford, Wemyss Bay, West Calder, West Kilbride, Wester Hailes, Westerton, Whifflet, Whitecraigs, Whinhill, Alexandra Parade, Alexandria, Alloa, Alness... Wick, Williamstown, Williamwood, Wishaw, Woodhall and Yoker.

"We are now approaching Coatbridge Central, where this train will terminate. Good Luck."

"Due to staff illness today, there will be no announcements on any Scotrail services. We apologise on behalf of Sonia for any inconvenience caused".

 

[John_158]

Merseyrail Electrics Automatic on Train Announcement:-

We are now approaching Hunts Cross where this train terminates please take all your personal belongings with you when leaving the train Thank You For travelling with Merseyrail...-(Nothing Abnormal there, Until a second later it announces this when approaching the platform This Service is being Delayed due to a Failed Train ahead.

I actually heard this on the train the other week when approaching Hunts Cross Platform.

 

[P156KWJ]

The train now approaching platform 3 is the Master Cutler service to London St Pancras. Due to severe weather conditions in the form of that tornado over there, First Class is situated in areas between Loughborough and Nottingham, the buffet is located at Syston and standard class has been declassified as third class due to the lack of seats and windows. An at seat service will be provided today in First Class, today's special is the berries on the lineside vegetation.