Things Passengers say...

[martyn29]

Please post all the funny, serious things that passengers have said to you.
I am sure that we could all write a book, would be nice to see as many as possible in this thread!

 

[mumrar]

1. Could I have a single return to Birmingham?
2. I want a single, but I'm coming back tomorrow
3. If the brakes aren't working, why are we standing still?
4. Will I get in trouble if I get a lift and don't use my return?
5. Is this train to Wales?

 

[martyn29]

One from me just been said...
"can I have a Single return to London?"
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Or If you are a Guard or train manager, post the excuses people say...

 

[Ferret]

Which side of the train will the sun be on?

 

[SouthEastern-465]

I was on a SE service to Charing Cross and where I was sitting there was some rubbish, so I put it in the bin next to the door, then this big bloke come upto me took the rubbish out the bin threw it at me and said "this aint a dump you know" "take your old crap with you next time mate" then shouted out "your parents have not brought you up with enough respect for other stuff".

But all along I was in the right putting the rubbish in the bin!

Anyway I got off at the next station and thought what a weirdo.
Regards

 

[martyn29]

I work at Kettering station, and I get this alot... "can I have a return to Kettering please?"
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How much is it to scotland?

 

[Aussie_Rail]

I've heard a few funny ones.

"When you get off the train at Flinders walk to the city". Flinders Street Station is in the city, I can't think what direction her friend went in.

I've heard someone ask the man at the ticket booth for a 'weekly 2 hour ticket', I had to dash off and have a good laugh over that one! .

My self and I were at a main tram terminus in Melbourne taking pictures of the trams and the Yarra Trams customer service person who was there came up to us and said "do you have permission from the Police?". My friend was killing himself laughing while I said to him "Yes, feel free to phone them and check", he left us alone after that.

On a train from the city down to Frankston one time, a man boarded at Armadale which is about 12 minutes from the city and he asked someone as he stepped on if this was going to the city. The desto on the train said Frankston, the announcement made before the train pulled in would have said it was a Frankston train and the display sign up the ramp said Frankston. Silly fool.

 

[Waddon]

Last week, I was sitting there when someone boarded the carriage, spent ages checking the map, looking confused, all the time the train was sitting in the station, this went on for maybe five minutes, and they waited until the very moment that the doors shut, locking them inside, and then plucked up the courage to ask 'where does this train go?' Needless to say it didn't go to where they wanted. (p.s. I'll always assist someone if they ask, and I knew they were lost, but I know from personal experience that if you volunteer assistance you get treated as a nutcase).

Once I was on a train which stopped sharply between stations. A serious looking woman turned to her colleague and said, in all seriousness, 'We just hit the buffers'

 

[37401]

"I went on the virgin train, they have nice trains"
ill get my coat!

or on a 170 the CIS right above him "Is this the train to nottingham" and right above his head it said "Train to: Nottingham" "calling at..."

 

[Aussie_Rail]

(p.s. I'll always assist someone if they ask, and I knew they were lost, but I know from personal experience that if you volunteer assistance you get treated as a nutcase).

I'm the same, If someone looks really confused then I'll put myself near them in the hope they might ask me, or if they are on the platform then I might wonder over and help them out. But not normally would I openly give assistance on a train with heaps of people about because you do get made to look like an idiot.

 

[Oswyntail]

I was on the suburban platform at Euston, some years back, about to get on a Cl313, when a very drunk and incapable Scotsman approched me and asked, in roughest Glaswegian "Is this train going to Cambuslang?". Not wishing to get too involved, I replied that it was going in that general direction. he got on and promptly fell asleep. One can only imagine....

 

[asylumxl]

I like it when someone asks me at St Pancras if one of the EMTs is going north...

 

[Aictos]

"Is this the train to Stevenage?" pointing towards the train in the bay platform at Hertford North which has buffers at the Stevenage end and a 20 to 30ft drop onto the road below.

"How do I get to Hatfield" having arrived on a Hertford North terminator, Stevenage via Hertford North service or a Letchworth via Hertford service.

"Does this train stop at Stevenage" with the CIS screen showing xxxx for Stevenage.

I've heard one passenger ask a colleague at Kings Cross for the next train to St Pancras!

I've also heard passengers ask colleagues at Kings Cross what platform for the xxxx EMT service to xxxxxxx!

"When's the next train back mate" at 0110 in the morning having overslept and missed their stop, not a happy bunny when they find out the last southbound service was the 2340/2342 and they have choice but to get a cab.

 

[Dai.]

or on a 170 the CIS right above him "Is this the train to nottingham" and right above his head it said "Train to: Nottingham" "calling at..."

I've had that one ^

Someone sat with me at birmingham new street aswell and said to me,

'Does this train go to Leicester ?'
<looks at information screen on the train>
'No'

 

[EM2]

'Do trains arrive here or do they only depart?'

'Is there a difference between Northbound and Southbound?'

Customer points at Eurostar
'Is that the international train?'
'Yes...'
Then he points at a 222
'Is that a domestic train?'
'Yes...'
'Do you have trains that go anywhere else?'
Dreading what his next answer might be, I ask
'Er, like where?'
'Chesterfield?'

Near platform 1 at St Pancras, 'Is this where I get a taxi?'

'Er, if the Eurostar goes to France, why does it leave going the other way?'

But mainly, it's people who can't be bothered to read signs, timetables or departure boards!

 

[JustinStacey.x]

I'm the same, If someone looks really confused then I'll put myself near them in the hope they might ask me, or if they are on the platform then I might wonder over and help them out. But not normally would I openly give assistance on a train with heaps of people about because you do get made to look like an idiot.

How? I always help people on the trains or platforms and people sometimes ask me if i work for the railways because i 'know so much'. I just say no I am a trainspotter

 

[Techniquest]

One of the best I overheard was some weeks ago. Some teenage girls got on at Ledbury and by Great Malvern I heard one of them say:

"I've been everywhere"

which got my attention (not even my MP3 player could compete against their discussion). I was intrigued to know where the most interesting place, which should be the first one in the list, was that she had visited:

"I've been to Leeds..."

at which point I nearly dropped the anchors with the music and say something like "What?! You mean you've been everywhere but the best you've done is Leeds?!". I like to think I've gone here, there and everywhere, but in my case I've at least been all over the place in the UK and can roll off a list of interesting places.

 

[mrcheek]

Some teenage girls got on at Ledbury and by Great Malvern I heard one of them say:

"I've been everywhere"

Maybe she wasnt talking geographically......

 

[MCR247]

HaHa

 

[Techniquest]

How? I always help people on the trains or platforms and people sometimes ask me if i work for the railways because i 'know so much'. I just say no I am a trainspotter

I've been in similar situations myself. Nice to be thought of as staff and to be able to share knowledge. Although I usually tell them something about how I just know from regular travelling in the area or that my hobby is to travel the length and breadth of the UK.
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Maybe she wasnt talking geographically......

Very possible, I don't recall any other part of their loud conversation, but I did also want them to get off the train and have a shower. Not even I, when I'm sweating like a madman, can smell out a train like that...

 

[317666]

(Onboard a FGW 142 with bus seats) I haven't been on this kind of train before - definitely more comfortable!

 

[Daimler]

I'm always amused by people who get on a train having seen it enter a station and go, 'which way's it going?'

 

[MCR247]

I'm always amused by people who get on a train having seen it enter a station and go, 'which way's it going?'

And trains never reverse en-route? Trains never terminate and go back to wherever?

 

[Daimler]

And trains never reverse en-route? Trains never terminate and go back to wherever?

:roll: I did wonder if someone was going to say that...

Let's just say it took place at neither a terminus station nor some forgotten branch line.

 

[Ilove165's]

While waiting at Shepherds Bush underground:

'Excuse me, is the next train for Ealing Broadway?'

Milliseconds later:
'The next westbound train will be calling at all stations to Ealing Broadway, Ealing Broadway next train'

My response:
'Does that answer your question?'

All of this when all they had to do was turn around and look at the PIS board about three feet away!

 

[Daniel]

(on the Waterloo & City Line, at Bank)

"Excuse me driver, where does this train go?"

".......Waterloo."

"Are you sure?"

-.-

 

[Ferret]

One of my favourites is being sat at a terminus station with the train right up to the blocks and some muppet asking "which way does the train go?" That's not even a one off..........:roll:

 

[Broken Viking]

Apparently, a common one at St. Pancras is:

• Passenger: Excuse me, where can I catch the train to Sheffield? [Or wherever]
• Staff: The East Midlands platforms - Follow the hall, go up the escalators, and the platforms are right in front of you.
• Passenger: Thanks...You're a star!
• Staff: No...For Eurostar, go past the escalators, turn right, and it's on your right hand side.

:grin:

 

[NSEFAN]

I heard this one about a steam hauled charter in Victoria. Two women get onto the train, sit down and ask if its the London Bridge service! Can't remember where it was going, but not London Bridge that's for certain.

Maybe they just had high expectations?

 

[mumrar]

I like it when people ask 'Is this the fast train?'. I just respond by asking what their definition of fast is.