The Story With No Name

[wensley]

Here is a story that I have to write for my GCSE's. You will soon see why it is here and suggestions for a name would be great. BE warned it is rather gruesome and there is some strong language .

Enjoy THE DRAFT,
Jonathon

 

[Techniquest]

Very, very quickly skimming it, the first names that came to mind were:

Summer Oop North

and

Cliff of Doom

Like I say, I've not read it fully, so until I do I can't think of owt better.

EDIT: I seemed to pick up on the gruesome bits the most on the skim-through, so perhaps utilising those to come up with the name would be a good idea. But gruesome? Definately, my eyes were reaching for the stars!

 

[P156KWJ]

I hate original writing essays, I never know what to write about

 

[wensley]

Absolutely love them!! Sorry to sound sad but when I start I can't stop. That took me no more than 1 and a half hours and when scribbled was 14 A4 sides

 

[Bayum]

My original writing was like, 15 pages... Typed up... The exam board wouldn't accept it... Said it was too good for someone in set 2... Ignorant gits... Still, Aced the Paper in the end, so that showed them!

 

[Spaceflower]

Stop cheating and make up your own title!

As for the swearing, is there any need, I think you need remove it or you may find it leading to trouble.

Spelling mistake first few lines 'bee' instead of 'been'. Haven't read it all, just skimmed through it like techniq, but lacks depth in my opinion

<Puts on helmet and takes cover?

 

[wensley]

Stop cheating and make up your own title!

As for the swearing, is there any need, I think you need remove it or you may find it leading to trouble.

Spelling mistake first few lines 'bee' instead of 'been'. Haven't read it all, just skimmed through it like techniq, but lacks depth in my opinion

<Puts on helmet and takes cover?

Regarding my spelling i think you should make note that I made it clear this was the DRAFT. A corrected copy has already been produced but I din't want it available for everyone to see.

The swearing was put in to add effect and build the tension as permitted by my teacher. I would also really love to know in what way you felt it 'lacked depth.

On the subject of spelling 'techniq' should have an 'E' on the end!

Jonathon

 

[Spaceflower]

On the subject of spelling 'techniq' should have an 'E' on the end!

Nah it shouldn't, it was a something I a made up (do you think you need an 'e' techiquest?). I'm not criticizing you over spelling, it was an obvious slip of the keys, or whatever, I was just pointing it out to you that's all.

As for your teacher promoting the use of swearing, that seems a tad dubious to me and no way is it needed to build up suspense.

I say it lakes depth because it seems very descriptive, to the point of distraction. Add some characters.........

 

[wensley]

I say it lakes depth because it seems very descriptive, to the point of distraction. Add some characters.........

Thank you, I might just give that a try.

That was a far more constructive comment,
Any ideas for a title
Joanthon!