Stupid things

[O L Leigh]

(Also the reason why, now, when asked "Is this the X train?" I reply "Where are you going to?").

That's the way I deal with these questions too, but even that doesn't always work.

I had a young lass come up and ask me where the Cheshunt train was, so I asked her were she was travelling to. She told me Cheshunt, so I directed her towards the Cambridge train which is the fastest service to that station and the next to leave. Then she asked me if it stopped at Silver Street, so I politely told her that when I asked where she was travelling to that's her cue to tell me the correct station so that I can direct her to the right train.

Intending passenger "When's the next train to Birmingham?"
Me "Sorry. The last service to get you Birimingham left at ten past eight. Next one is at 0510 tomorrow morning. Furthest you can get heading that way tonight is to Gloucester."
Passenger "What time is the train then from Gloucester to Birmingham?"
Me "The furthest you can get tonight is Gloucester."
Passenger departs complaining.

I can top that.

A couple of Christmas Eve's ago I was working a late turn and, because of the shut-down, all the jobs were modded. My particular job was Hertfords and my last trip down the branch was among the last that evening. These last few were running down in service and then returning empty.

So anyway, I've arrived and am in the process of securing the train when two lads come up to me.

"Is this the London train?"
"No. This one's going to the depot."
"Oh. When's the next train to London?"
"The 27th."
"Is there a bus?"
"I doubt it."

O L Leigh

 

[jon0844]

I may ask staff for a train by its destination, as I know the train I want/need but just want to know where it is (so it's easier for the staff member who doesn't need to pause to think about the stopping pattern). If I subsequently mess up, that's my problem - but I'm fairly confident that isn't going to happen.

However, I can't believe people ask by destination if they don't know the stops that train will make!! Surely 'I'm trying to get to Silver Street, can you tell me which train to get?' is a better question!

 

[37 418]

The most stupid thing I heard was 2 American tourists in Edinburgh asking a member of staff:

Why did they build the castle so close to the railway station?

 

[Eng274]

The most stupid thing I heard was 2 American tourists in Edinburgh asking a member of staff:

Why did they build the castle so close to the railway station?

:roll:

Because the common haggis likes to commute to work, and it's easier to store the weaponry nearby for the rush hour hunt

 

[jon0844]

The most stupid thing I heard was 2 American tourists in Edinburgh asking a member of staff:

Why did they build the castle so close to the railway station?

Are these the same ones that ask why Windsor castle was built so close to the airport?

 

[leedstraindude]

Christmas Eve Just gone, id worked one of the late turns and was walkign across the concourse at Leeds station about 2115, there was only 3 trains left to run before everything shutdown for the two day when I was approached by a young lad with lots of bags in tow

Customer pointing at the large departure screens: "Is that all the trains left to run today?"
Me: "Yes, where are you trying to get to?"
Customer: "Chesterfield"
Me: "Im sorry the last train to Chesterfield went at 1911"

Suffice to say I scarpered as he started mouthing swear words before he turned on me!!

 

[LE Greys]

I'm willing to put this one down to mishearing rather than pedantry, but still...

I arrive at King's Cross in a bit of a rush (collared by boss when about to leave work) and get there just after 10 past 6. As normal (at the time) all the departure boards apart from the main one were switched off, and I entered the station via platform 9 as I was arriving by bike. East Coast were disrupted and the trains all over the place, but there was a near-full FCC train on platform 8 (no destination shown) so I ask the nearest uniformed person:

"Is this the 1814 for Peterborough?"

"This is the 1814, yes."

So I get on. No destination display, no announcements. It's only when we go flying through Finsbury Park that I realise this is the 1814 King's Lynn train. Fast to Cambridge. Gah!

(I got my season ticket inspected twice - once on the way to Cambridge and once on the way back to Hitchin. It was valid for neither, but accepted on both...)

I've done something similar a few times. Back when we still had the "flap-board" destination display, it got stuck, so one of the Peterboro fasts showed the first stop as Stevenage (when it was really St Neots). But that wasn't as bad as (A) getting stuck behind/in front of a load of people getting on at Westbury and ending up in Taunton instead of changing for Frome or (B) not realising that the sleeper had caught up twenty minutes, having to bail out at Aviemore half-dressed, then leap back aboard to rescue my toothbrush and nearly going on to Inverness without all my kit. I could have bought another one for goodness sake!
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The most stupid thing I heard was 2 American tourists in Edinburgh asking a member of staff:

Why did they build the castle so close to the railway station?

Considering the castle is about four times older than their country...

 

[Clip]

Christmas Eve Just gone, id worked one of the late turns and was walkign across the concourse at Leeds station about 2115, there was only 3 trains left to run before everything shutdown for the two day when I was approached by a young lad with lots of bags in tow

Customer pointing at the large departure screens: "Is that all the trains left to run today?"
Me: "Yes, where are you trying to get to?"
Customer: "Chesterfield"
Me: "Im sorry the last train to Chesterfield went at 1911"

Suffice to say I scarpered as he started mouthing swear words before he turned on me!!

had this so many times at KX.. People always watching the arrivals board and asking which platform the glasgow or last cambridge were going from.. Faces dropping when they hear there are no more..

 

[Oswyntail]

Travelling on the #1 "Inter-City" service from Peckham Rye to Victoria one evening, back in the days of 4-SUBs. Stops at Denmark Hill, American lady opens the door she is sitting by, and, panicking, asks "Do we have to get out and walk across the tracks?". I point out the door on the other side of the carriage, by the platform - "But I got in at this door!"

 

[Fred26]

I've had that *so* many times, especially during the Thameslink blockade.
'When's the next Bedford train?'
'16:30, platform 2.'
A minute later they're back.
'You said the Bedford train was on platform 2!'
'It is, sir. Second stop is Bedford.'
'But it doesn't stop at St Albans!'
'Well, you didn't ask about St. Albans...'

Similarly, 'Where does this train go?'
'Where do you want to go?', is always my reply.
I'm not going to list every stop. Passengers need to be more specific.

 

[CliveJones]

Similarly, 'Where does this train go?'
'Where do you want to go?', is always my reply.
I'm not going to list every stop. Passengers need to be more specific.

In a similar vein

"What time is the first train to X tomorrow?"
"06:45"
"Whats the next one?"
"07:05"
"Whats the next one?"
"07:22"
"Whats the next one?"
"*Sigh* What sort of time did you want to go?"
"Oh.... about eleven thirty"

 

[Sloppyjag]

Travelling on the #1 "Inter-City" service from Peckham Rye to Victoria one evening, back in the days of 4-SUBs. Stops at Denmark Hill, American lady opens the door she is sitting by, and, panicking, asks "Do we have to get out and walk across the tracks?". I point out the door on the other side of the carriage, by the platform - "But I got in at this door!"

Possibly an urban myth this one.

Back in the days before the direct line from Glasgow Queen Street High Level to Springburn was opened, the Glasgow-Cumbernauld trains reversed at Cowlairs.

Drunk guy staggers onto the train, train leaves and stops, as per schedule at Cowlairs.

Drunk guy gets up, opens door and falls out of train. A couple of passengers help him back up into the carriage.

"Silly me!" he slurs, "Wrong side." And promptly opens the opposite door and falls out the other side.

 

[route101]

Ive had people thinking that Glasgow Queen St is the only station in Glasgow
One of my mates thinks you can only go from Glasgow Queen St to Edinburgh via Falkirk High on a Glasgow to Edinburgh Ticket
Another people thinking the Mallard refurbs are new trains and that Pendolinos are High Speed Tgv trains .

 

[66526]

When my Dad was based at New St he was stopped at a signal next to a canal towpath one day. There was a family walking along the towpath so Dad leant out and asked 'excuse me I'm a bit lost, is this the right way to New St?'.
They fell for it...

 

[LE Greys]

When my Dad was based at New St he was stopped at a signal next to a canal towpath one day. There was a family walking along the towpath so Dad leant out and asked 'excuse me I'm a bit lost, is this the right way to New St?'.
They fell for it...

 

[CNX]

This is so daft that it has to be true. It is, and was told to me by the BR Leeds Control Duty Manager concerned.

As an eastbound train emerged from Standedge tunnel, a peson who was intent on comitting suicide lay down and put his neck across one rail. The driver had no chance of stopping, and, to coin a phrase, it was 'off with his head'.

All lines were stopped immediately, and West Yorkshire Police took charge of the scene. When the delay in handng the line back became excessive, with trains standing all over the place, the Leeds Control Duty Manager called West Yorkshire Police operations room to ask why it was taking so long. The reply was 'won't be long, we're just waiting for the surgeon to certify him dead'.

You couldn't make it up.

 

[O L Leigh]

That's not stupid. That's how it's done. I know it sounds crazy, but a doctor has to certify life extinct even where someone is plainly dead.

O L Leigh

 

[CNX]

R.I.P. Common Sense.

 

[O L Leigh]

That depends on your POV.

The problem is that whether you've passed away in your sleep, died in hospital or been hit by a train, you're not officially dead until a doctor has certified it so. And believe it or not, there have been times when a doctor has discovered that the person in question is not actually dead after all. It's also only a doctor who can decide when efforts to resusitate a patient should cease.

But until someone has been certified dead the next stage in the process cannot begin. As I said at the beginning of this post, it doesn't matter how a person dies it is the doctor who says so. Therefore the Police cannot begin the recovery of a body on the line until the doctor has been to visit.

O L Leigh

 

[CliveJones]

Its far simpler to have a blanket rule that a qualified doctor must certify death than to try and figure out where to draw the line and have a big fat list of "its ok for the police to say so in these cases:" .

How would that be common sense?

 

[bnm]

It's also only a doctor who can decide when efforts to resusitate a patient should cease.

I have a paramedic friend who says that the only time they will not bother with resuscitation is when the patients head is no longer attached to the body. Doctor or no doctor.

 

[CNX]

I have a paramedic friend who says that the only time they will not bother with resuscitation is when the patients head is no longer attached to the body. Doctor or no doctor.

Looks like common sense is still clinging to life after all. But only just!

 

[ralphchadkirk]

Bit of a misunderstanding here!
A doctor is the only person who can certify death, but a paramedic can and will recognise death and then not do anything but call a doctor to certify it.

 

[transportphoto]

As a medic, if a trained person knows that life is impossible with the injury's the person has ie head and body separate they can legally announce life extinct and withdrawal of the body can continue.

However a doctor will need to sign a certificate.

Shall we move back on topic?

 

[ANorthernGuard]

During a one under in Longsight, quite busy at Piccadilly, I'd just given up on getting anywhere south out of Piccadilly and was walking out to Victoria.

Passenger #1 How the hell can I get to Liverpoool now?

PSA (TPE): You can either wait for the 12xx Transpennine Express service that is running on Platform 14, Walk to Oxford Road where the service is running, or Victoria.

This carries on for a while. Somone then tried to be clever.

Passenger #57: So how can I get to Longsight Station?

PSA: Travel back in time to before it was closed 30 odd years ago, or get the bus like anyone else would!

there is always one (or two) lol
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A couple of years ago I was chatting to a couple of passengers on my way to Crewe having a laugh and a joke like you do when I mentioned to a couple of the passengers "you only have to worry if you see the driver run past you", I walkied away doing revenue and almost forgot about Holmes Chapel so I literally "ran" to the middle doors to release the doors doing so running past the pax I told about the driver, one of them almost went white with nerves, took me about 5 minutes to explain to them that i was NOT the driver.....madness lol

 

[Leslie Fletcher]

My anecdotes are not so much stupid as puzzling. Some years ago while standing on Reading station, as an ordinary passenger, with no geeky notebook nor looking in the least like railway staff, I was asked by another passenger "Is this the train for Oxford?". I was tempted to reply (but didn't!) "The destination blind says Oxford, the platform VDU says Oxford and the man on the PA system is saying Oxford; what can I possibly add by way of reassurance?". Yesterday at Manchester Piccadilly I was asked "Is this the train for Manchester Airport?"; the blinds/VDU/PA all said "Manchester Airport" plus lots of people with airline-type luggage were getting on the train. I have had similar queries dozens of times in the intervening years, including last year at Gerona, in French! Does it happen to others here or is it just me?

 

[stut]

I've been on the other side of that. I have poor eyesight, and wear contact lenses, and so have got out of the habit of carrying glasses with me. It's rare, but there are those occasions where you lose, forget, or just have to take your lenses out and are left with nothing. Lenses out, there's no way I'd be able to read a platform number, let alone a destination blind.

(Yes, I know I should carry spare glasses. But we're not all perfect.)

The few times it's happened, it's been met with varying degrees of attitude.

 

[jon0844]

Annoying as passengers can be, I do think that for the most part you need to just answer the dumb questions. There are people who may be hard of hearing, visually impaired, mentally disabled in some way and so on.

It might seem funny, but winding up members of the public probably isn't a good idea. Now, having a friendly joke is another matter. No harm in a little humour, but not deliberately trying to mislead or confuse people.

I don't think I need to give examples as I think it's pretty much common sense.

Even someone asking if train X stops at Y, despite it being shown all over the place, is a fair question for someone who might be nervous or panicking over something. Perhaps their mind is elsewhere because of circumstances we don't know about - and they can't afford to make a mistake and end up on the wrong train. On some services, getting the wrong train could be disastrous!

 

[O L Leigh]

There was a lad we used to see quite often hanging around on various platforms in the vicinity of Hackney Downs. We never did learn his name but we used to call him "Where'ya Going" because he'd always come up the window and ask. Some of my colleagues would say outrageous things like York or Edinburgh, or even Moscow. (It did help when the old WAGN blinds used to have York or Leeds on them.)

Anyway, one afternoon he's on Hackney Downs platform and approaches a colleague of mine and asks his customary question, but my colleague was feeling a bit more charitable.

"Where'ya going?"
"Oh come on. You know the timetable at least as well as I do. Where do you think I'm going?"
"You're going to Chingford."
"That's right."
"It says Enfield on the front."
hock:

O L Leigh

 

[DJ_K666]

- Best question I was asked was on a South Wales platform a chap comes up to me and asks "When I get to Oxford, what number bus do I need to get to x?"
He seemed upset at my reply of "God knows, ask at Oxford station" (I should have said 7A).

- I've been asked "Is this the Bakerloo line?" on Platform 8 in Paddington, standing beside a HST.

- I also had someone come up to me and ask "Is this train going to Westbury?"
"No ma'am"
"Why not?"

- Funniest one I ever heard was platform staff being asked "Where can I leave my bag?"
"Sorry, for security reasons you have to keep your bags with you at all times"
"That's ridiculous, what about the elderly and disabled?"
"I'm sorry, we don't have anywhere you can leave them either"
(postscript - she wrote in, he got bollocked)

Heh I love it...


Some from the buses.

"Driver how long will the next bus be?"

"30 foot, same as this one."
..........................................................
At the stop before the shopping centre:

"Driver, does this bus go to Churchill Square?"

*Looks up the road where the bus is pointing, into Churchill Square*

"Yes, Madam, every bus from here goes to Churchill Square."

"So it definitely goes there, yes?"

FACEPALM

........................................................................

"Excuse me, Driver, when do we get to ASDA?"

"You see that big white building 10 feet away with the ASDA sign? That's ASDA"

.........................................................................

On arrival at Brighton station bus stand with a 6:

"Driver, do you go any further into the station?"