Strangest Thing Seen on a Train

[Phil6219]

Saw a guy many moons ago board an GMPTE orange pacer (so we know how far back it was) at Walkden heading to Moorside with a new toilet basin. Reminds me of that bit in "on the buses" when Stan & Arthur have to get a new loo and take it for a ride on the bus.

There didn't seem to be a problem though I bet he was knacked hauling it up the stairs at both stations.

 

[CheekyBandit]

Strangest thing on a train? A OAP (in WMPTE area) asking the TM if she was too early...on the 0930 VT BHM - EUS

She might have thought it was valid after 09:30 (especially if she had been told, somewhat incorrectly, by a bus driver "it is not valid until after 9.30") and would have likely thought that an actual departure time of 09:30:00 (or even 09:30:59 if seconds are ignored) wouldn't qualify as it is technically not after 09:30.

 

[Smethwickian]

She might have thought it was valid after 09:30 (especially if she had been told, somewhat incorrectly, by a bus driver "it is not valid until after 9.30") and would have likely thought that an actual departure time of 09:30:00 (or even 09:30:59 if seconds are ignored) wouldn't qualify as it is technically not after 09:30.

Are you kidding? Most senior citizen pass holders in the West Midlands are at the bus stop well before 9.30am and are ready to push, barge and shove their way forward onto the first bus that comes along one millisecond after the clock turns 9.30am, never mind waiting until 9.31. The woman on the train would have been huffing, tutting, moaning and complaining well before the 59 second mark if the 9.30 hadn't departed instantaneously.

 

[Wyvern]

If she was on a Virgin train, dont they allow Seniors with off peak tickets to travel in the peak or is that only the return journey?

 

[bnsf734]

I saw somebody carrying a WC pan waiting for a train in Poznan Poland once.

I have also seen lambs being led on lengths of string on Greek trains before Easter (In Greece lambs are for Easter (sunday dinner) and no later.

Calv

 

[CheekyBandit]

i once was coming home on the 17.50 Glasgow leeds and i pressed the green button to enter the toilet and a couple where having sex, they forgot to lock the door.

I take it they had not heard of the Sexual Offences Act 2003 s.71?

 

[jon0844]

In Italy beggars enter the train and leave business cards on the seats......

They do that in Sweden too. Come on to a carriage, put cards on seats, wait, come to collect money, pick up cards and move carriage.

I wouldn't give money to beggars, but at least the ones that sing/play music are trying to do something. The ones with the cards with some sob story really get zero points for effort.

 

[AlterEgo]

If she was on a Virgin train, dont they allow Seniors with off peak tickets to travel in the peak or is that only the return journey?

Only if they hold a Senior Railcard.

 

[chris89]

Not as strange as many on here. But funny to me at least. On the 12:00 from Glasgow Central today to Birmingham Newstreet. In 1st class coach J saw a youngish woman about 25 in what looked like a males tweed suit

Chris

 

[ANorthernGuard]

I take it they had not heard of the Sexual Offences Act 2003 s.71?

They probably haven't but it is a reasonably common practice (especially on a Fri/Sat Night)
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---
Someone actually buying a ticket on the Hadfield line

 

[SS4]

Are you kidding? Most senior citizen pass holders in the West Midlands are at the bus stop well before 9.30am and are ready to push, barge and shove their way forward onto the first bus that comes along one millisecond after the clock turns 9.30am, never mind waiting until 9.31. The woman on the train would have been huffing, tutting, moaning and complaining well before the 59 second mark if the 9.30 hadn't departed instantaneously.

9.30? They come out late where you are then (presumably Smethwick)! I've seen them from about 9.15 onwards trying it on with various degrees of success depending on the driver. The 638 bus seems to the worst of the buses I use yet it's not like it or the 28 are infrequent.

 

[Kernowfem]

A very drunken Sheffield Wednesday fan stripping off his clothes before running up and down the carriage kissing every female in there...Made one old dears day!

I attend a prosthetic clinic in Peterborough once a year, so when i have to go i travel by rail. The only down side is i have to take my spare false leg with me. Its kept in a plain green bag, only one day it slipped out of the bag and onto the platform, it caused quite a stir!

 

[Minilad]

Are you kidding? Most senior citizen pass holders in the West Midlands are at the bus stop well before 9.30am and are ready to push, barge and shove their way forward onto the first bus that comes along one millisecond after the clock turns 9.30am, never mind waiting until 9.31. The woman on the train would have been huffing, tutting, moaning and complaining well before the 59 second mark if the 9.30 hadn't departed instantaneously.

Am I twirly driver is the usual cry !!

 

[Ferret]

Bloke at Preston station wanting to bring a fridge on the train will live long in the memory!

One of my ex-colleagues has also encountered somebody bashing the bishop. The Police were called!

Girl comes sprinting up to me at Durham to ask if we're the Kings Cross train. Alas for her, she wasn't wearing a bra and they flopped out! She was properly embarassed, and alas I wasn't working a Kings Cross train!

I'm sure I'll think of more at some point!

 

[RichmondCommu]

This happened to me a month or so ago on a service from Coventry to New Street - the difference was there were FOUR people involved! Making good use of the toilet space on the Voyager it would seem.

I suspect that this has been made up for comedy value in an effort to "out do" other posters! However, I would suggest that sex in train toilets (especially late at night) is not uncommon. It’s just that most people have the sense to lock the door first!

Or in motorway service stations go right to the back of the car park well away from prying eyes!

 

[Hydro]

Not so strange, but freaking hilarious. I was on a 395 up to St Pancs one night, and I was sitting opposite one of the toilets, the one with the sliding door, not the big ass disabled one. Train stops at Ebbsfleet, and an attractive young girl pops in for the obvious and shuts the door. The Jav then does a standing start worthy of Formula 1, the improperly locked door promptly obeys the laws of physics and rapidly slides open with a bang causing everyone to up and stare at this poor girl with her knickers round her ankles sitting on the toilet.

 

[deltic1989]

Not so strange, but freaking hilarious. I was on a 395 up to St Pancs one night, and I was sitting opposite one of the toilets, the one with the sliding door, not the big ass disabled one. Train stops at Ebbsfleet, and an attractive young girl pops in for the obvious and shuts the door. The Jav then does a standing start worthy of Formula 1, the improperly locked door promptly obeys the laws of physics and rapidly slides open with a bang causing everyone to up and stare at this poor girl with her knickers round her ankles sitting on the toilet.

Beautifully put sir

 

[SprinterMan]

I have seen a man walk his dog up and down a voyager on a EUS-HHD run, someone in a leopard print body suit complete with a tail on a KGX-KLN 365, and I was on a LST-CBG 379 and a uni professor who was planning a maths lecture for some Kazakhstani exchange students asked me if I could do some of the questions he had planned for them to make sure they made sense. I didn't stick around for too long though as I was only going to Tottenham Hale. I was on a 378 on the Watford DC line and a Frenchman got the entire carriage to give his American frind a round of applause as it was the 4th of July.I ahve seen a rather buxom woman breast-feeding a baby on the tube (some time ago) and a drunk tramp arguing with buisnessmen (also on the tube), but I have been fortunate enough to have never seen anyone "bashing the bishop".

 

[jon0844]

Girl comes sprinting up to me at Durham to ask if we're the Kings Cross train. Alas for her, she wasn't wearing a bra and they flopped out! She was properly embarassed, and alas I wasn't working a Kings Cross train!

Couldn't you have made a detour?

Or in motorway service stations go right to the back of the car park well away from prying eyes!

Why? I thought it was common knowledge that if you wanted to get f***ed, you went inside and bought food or used the cash machine!

 

[northwichcat]

On another forum someone claimed when doing a ticket check on a SWT service, two drunken women didn't have tickets and when asked for them they removed their clothes.



I know someone who has got on a train with a TV - me. Although it was a handheld TV in a suitcase.

 

[HugePilchard]

Not a train, but a National Express coach service. A chap who was attempting to move house tried to load various things into the luggage space. Several wicker hampers full of clothes, and a CRT TV!

 

[Minilad]

Not strictly on the train, but railway involved.
In a previous incarnation I was employed by Central Trains (Remember them) in Longbridge ticket office. One evening shift was spent covering at Northfield.
Northfield has a long car park and the last few spaces are quite a way from the ticket office but right in the sightline of CCTV. Around 2200 a Range Rover pulled into the car park and parked in the furthest spot from the office, followed around 5 mins later by a Corsa. Sure enough a woman jumped out of the Corsa into the back of the Range Rover and a man got out of the drivers seat and joined her in the back.
Hmmmmm I thought, this needs investigating. So I moved the CCTV camera remotely to enable a better view. Sure enough I could make out furtive goings on in the Range Rover !!
As the Range Rover was parked right next to the platforms I thought a little announcement would be in order.
To the Lady and Gentleman in the Range Rover parked in the car park can I inform you you are currently being monitored by CCTV.
You have never seen two people get dressed and drive off so quick in your life

 

[Hydro]

As the Range Rover was parked right next to the platforms I thought a little announcement would be in order after about 20 minutes of making sure.

Fixed your story for you.

 

[Minilad]

Fixed your story for you.

Well of course I did have to make sure of the exact circumstances before making the announcement

 

[87015]

A sheep. In a box.

 

[Minilad]

About a month ago on a 175 between Hereford and Shrewsbury a Tortoise in a plastic carrier. Even had his name on the lid. Henry if you are wondering !

 

[90019]

someone in a leopard print body suit complete with a tail on a KGX-KLN 365

If it's what I think you mean, I know someone with one who did something similar

What confuses me a little is the visibility, I know you can see almost nothing out of the shiny ones, I'd guess it's similar for those ones as well.

 

[BrummyBoy]

9.30? They come out late where you are then (presumably Smethwick)! I've seen them from about 9.15 onwards trying it on with various degrees of success depending on the driver. The 638 bus seems to the worst of the buses I use yet it's not like it or the 28 are infrequent.

Have seen them early as 9.00 trying it on the 28 before.

 

[Captain Chaos]

Once had someone come up to me with a Sainsbury's shopping trolley fully loaded with shopping wishing to go to Reading West from Reading on my train once. What I don't understand is how they managed to be allowed through the barriers in the first place!

 

[12CSVT]

Another one which took place on a station, about 10 - 12 years ago at City Thameslink during the evening peak somebody thought it would be a bright idea to go down the escalator - on a motorbike.