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Station Announcers & Announcements

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MidnightFlyer

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I know there's a Thread on this elsewhere, but its not really what I'm after. What announcers/announcements have made you laugh? Which ones send you crazy? Are pre-recorded or human live announcements better? :D
 
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atomicdanny

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I've heard the announcement "please be aware that fast trains may pass through this station... (not the exact quote but I think you all know what I mean), at Brighton of all places! - I would be worried if the did since its a terminal station!

another one that I heard a couple of weeks back while at Luton

"Please stand well clear of platform 2 a fast train is approaching and does not stop here":shock:

a bit worrying when there was an 8 Car 319 in platform 2!
 

brad465

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London Bridge, when they announce the FCC train to Bedford and or Brighton the voice who does the FCC bit is not the person who does the main body of the announcement, and it don't sound right.:lol:

Many other people who travel via this station often might think the same. ;)
 

MidnightFlyer

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Why do automatic announcements say, eg: 'Welwyn North. This is Welwyn North. The next train at platform one is the 1654 to.........'. Why do we need to know what station we are standing on? :D
 

atomicdanny

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Why do automatic announcements say, eg: 'Welwyn North. This is Welwyn North. The next train at platform one is the 1654 to.........'. Why do we need to know what station we are standing on? :D

I think its more for the people on the train that has just arrived (although I'm sure that this is also said on the 313 or 317 or 365? as well)
 

MidnightFlyer

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I think its more for the people on the train that has just arrived (although I'm sure that this is also said on the 313 or 317 or 365? as well)

No, it was said (yesterday at Welwyn North!) 2 mins before arrival. What's the point? :D
 

LE Greys

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My favourite was a bit of a mondegreen
"This is London Bridge, this side up please . . ."
until somebody pointed out that it was "this side out please". My favourite then went to an on-board announcement I once heard.
"Ladies and gentlemen, we apologise that there will be no at-seat trolley service. We are using a different class of train today, and the trolley is too wide to get down the aisles . . ."

As for the most annoying, anything that starts with,
"Attention please, this is an important announcement . . ."
and says something not especially important that we heard five minutes ago. There's also the phantom announcement you used to get at Bath Spa,
"The train now standing at Platform 1 . . ."
when it was still five minutes away. Why?
 

ralphchadkirk

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We are now arriving into London Euston. Silverlink Trains would like to point out that we have arrived on time
 

christopher

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The next train to arrive at platform 3 is the 15:01One Service to London Liverpool Street calling at Romford, Chadwell Heath etc etc

Yes I know I missed a space between 1 and One but that's how it was said :lol:
 

Any Permitted

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The next train to arrive at platform 3 is the 15:01One Service to London Liverpool Street calling at Romford, Chadwell Heath etc etc

Yes I know I missed a space between 1 and One but that's how it was said :lol:

Apparently this caused some confusion.

"This is the Fifteen Thirty One service to .."

Is it the 15:30 'one service or the 15:31 service.

____________________________________

As for my announcement it's probably one I hear all too often:

"Ladies and gentlemen the 10:17 train to Norwich is delayed by about 15 minutes due to animals on the line near Acle. We've just got to wait for the stubborn cow to move then it'll be here"

Couldn't work out if the stubborn cow was the driver or the actual cow.
 

Wyvern

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In the fifties and sixties, there was still National Service, and the announcer would say " **This** **is** Derby" in such portentious tones that he was known all over the country by the squaddies travelling on their weekend passes.
 

Fincra5

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Why do automatic announcements say, eg: 'Welwyn North. This is Welwyn North. The next train at platform one is the 1654 to.........'. Why do we need to know what station we are standing on? :D

I think it is more for the customers on the train :)
 

MidnightFlyer

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I think it is more for the customers on the train :)

Even though they say it before the train arrives. i saw something brilliant on the Permit to travel machine at Welwyn north yesterday. i'll post a photo later, but it'll probs be moderated off the page :D
 

thefab444

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The actual wording of the announcement is slightly different; "Welwyn North, this is Welwyn North. Platform 1 for the 16:54 First Capital Connect service to...". It is designed to be played when the train is standing at the platform for passengers on the trains, however it is triggered by the track circuits which are not always completely accurate, hence why it will go off before the train arrives. This can be mitigated by using the timer feature on the PA software, but this isn't always done.
 

MidnightFlyer

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o3417-0000011.jpg


Look at the red Permit to travel machine to the left. Someone removed the IT from the end of 'PERMIT' and added an S at the start. Genius. I didn't stop laughing to Welwyn GC
 

route101

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i dont particularly like the edinburgh waverley ones , the woman sounds ill . Also glasgow queen st low level stairs one , ' please hold the handrail , etc etc . Drives me nuts
 

MidnightFlyer

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Kind of to do with announcements - at Euston (VT only) and all trains at Kings cross, why do they only announce trains about 5 mins before departure? The female who announce Crewe has a really nice voice :D
 

thefab444

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As far as I know they are announced once when the platform is allocated, and once five minutes prior to departure (featuring the infamous "Will passengers intending to travel on this service please join the train now as it is ready to leave" phrase).
 

Solent&Wessex

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I think it is more for the customers on the train :)



This style of announcement dates back many years to the era of compartment trains, slam doors, and trains without public address equipment. It was designed so that people onboard the train could hear where they were at. I suspect, like many other things, it is still used nowadays "because it always has been". When each new Public Address system was installed over the years many of the scripts were just copied from one system to another, so the same style of announcement continues.

If you watch the British Transport Films production "This is York" from the mid 1950s, you will hear the manual station announcer announcing trains in the station. All her announcements generally begin "This is York. This is York. The train now at Platform 8 is the ......". Many of them also begin with the wonderful "Train Announcer Calling..." before the rest of the announcement. Some other wonderful announcements on that film are "Train Announcer Calling. May we remind you, have you left anything in the train? Have you left anything in the train?" and the fact that the times are all in 12 hour clock and no zeros are announced, for example the "0802 train" is announced as the "Eight Two train". Even better is the chance you get to see her. Lovely lady with her pearls and best Sunday dress on talking into a wonderful old microphone with the best Queen's English pronunciation!

In recent years a particularly obscure announcement was the Phil Sayer announcement heard across the SWT network the other year - "On behalf of all the train operating companies, may I take this opportunity to wish a very merry Christmas and prosperous new year".

A System BR installed on some West Coast stations and lasted until about 2008 at Wigan North Western and Warrington Bank Quay used to end the "Train now standing at Platform x is the xxx" announcements with a pause, and then say "Good Morning / Afternoon / Evening, welcome to Wigan North Western".
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---
As far as I know they are announced once when the platform is allocated, and once five minutes prior to departure (featuring the infamous "Will passengers intending to travel on this service please join the train now as it is ready to leave" phrase).

At Manchester Piccadilly these announcements cause Chaos when they stack more than one train on the same platform. There can be two, sometimes 3 trains already there, if they are Northern ones often without the door locked. The train coming in triggers the announcement "Platform 2 for the xxxx First Transpennine Express service to xxxxx. Please travel in the front train only for xxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx. platform 2 for the ....". Now of course when this is announced the TPE train isn't there, so the unsuspecting get on the open Northern unit - as that is the front train!

The use of track circuits for announcements etc is always on dodgy ground. At Keighley the new wonderful system they installed the other year always shows and announces every single train going towards Leeds and Bradford as being 3 minutes late even though they are invariably on time. At Hebden Bridge in an Absolute Block signalling area the "The Train now approaching Platform 2 ...." announcment is about 6 - 8 minutes before the train, which every so often leads to the wrong train being announced.
 

MCR247

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As far as I know they are announced once when the platform is allocated, and once five minutes prior to departure (featuring the infamous "Will passengers intending to travel on this service please join the train now as it is ready to leave" phrase).

Not that announcement, just got back off my ALR and I was bashing pendos loads (8)) so I was at Euston loads. That annoyed me so much <(
 

TDK

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Kind of to do with announcements - at Euston (VT only) and all trains at Kings cross, why do they only announce trains about 5 mins before departure? The female who announce Crewe has a really nice voice :D

I have met her when doing a signalbox visit at Crewe PSB. I think manual nnouncements are by far better, Wolverhampton has manual anouncements.

They will announce trains 5 minutes before departure because the train probably isn't ready for boarding. Generally they wont announce a train unless it is ready for boarding.
 

MCR247

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And since VHF 390s only have a 20-25 minute turnaround on some trains. What annoys me is that once the announced the 1657 EUS - GLC and the 1700 EUS - MAN going from P1 and P2. Cue massive crowd
 

MidnightFlyer

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I have met her when doing a signalbox visit at Crewe PSB. I think manual nnouncements are by far better, Wolverhampton has manual anouncements.

They will announce trains 5 minutes before departure because the train probably isn't ready for boarding. Generally they wont announce a train unless it is ready for boarding.

Re: Crewe PSB woman - is she as nice as her voice? :D Re: trains - at Kings Cross, you see the stuff in the platform waiting, perfectly ready, driver on the platform, 15-20 mins beforehand. At weekends, VT stuff can have up to 1h30 in Euston, I know crew need to get there, btu come on :D
 

Aictos

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I don't know who which female voice the new FCC system is using but it ain't Phil Sayer for obvious reasons.

Which is a pity as I was so looking forward to having him as the voice of FCC...

As to manual announcements, it does depend on the equipment as it's no good having Mr Sayer in the platform office making the announcements and you can't hear them!!!

Still, I tend to use my Oh Doctor Beeching style announcement for some trains ie "This is a passenger announcement, The train now standing at Platform 2 is your 2110 stopping service to Letchworth Garden City calling at Watton at Stone, Stevenage, Hitchin and Letchworth Garden City, 2110 stopping service for Letchworth Garden City currently on Platform 2, Thank you."

Sometimes you have to announce extra that this is the next southbound service especially when people are on the wrong platform.
 

MidnightFlyer

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The guy who did Grantham's announcements when I was there one Sunday was good - he'd say stuff like 'the train now at platform one is the 1336 East Coast service to Kings Cross. I would advise passengers to board quickly, this train is already late and you'll be the first to complain when you miss your connection!' and 'the train now on platform three is for Skeeeeeeeeeegness': literally that long :D top bloke
 

Jordy

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There are some funny announcers at Grantham, there is one who announces the quiet coach as "at the rear of the train, by the conifers" :lol:
 

MidnightFlyer

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There are some funny announcers at Grantham, there is one who announces the quiet coach as "at the rear of the train, by the conifers" :lol:

Yeah he did that with a Leeds train on p2: 1st was 'near the flowers', the buffet/std 'in the middle under the canopy where everyone is now', and the quiet was 'on the thin bit of the platform'. We need more announcers like him :D
 

TheManWho

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One station announcement at Barking one evening always stands out in my mind "the train at Platform 4 is the 17.35 service to Shoeburyness calling at Upminster, Basildon, Benfleet and all stations to Shoeburyness...and it's on time- there you go, that's 3 nights in a row we've managed that"

Hopefully, nobody minds, there is a list of funny announcements made by tube drivers here:
http://blog.biographyonline.net/2008/02/funny-announcements-by-tube-drivers.html
 

tynesider

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I like the automated announcements when a new franchise has started, or a new station has opened. You can always tell when the additions have been recorded at a different time to the majority of the other sound clips. In particular at New Street "CrossCountry service to" seems to be said with more excitement than the list of calling points. Equally, the Leeds / Sheffield / Manchester Picc lady sounds marginally more manly saying "Liverpool South Parkway"

On a more human note, there's a lady at Derby who seems reluctant to let go of station names, "Sheffieeeeeld, Nottinghaaaaaam, Birminghaaaaam"
 

scotsman

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Best one ever was at Berwick-upon-Tweed:
"The next train on the platform one is the 1346 National Express Service to London Kings Cross. Calling at Alnmouth, Newcastle, Durham, Darlington, York, Doncaster, Peterborough, Stevenage and London Kings Cross. I am sorry to announce this train is running 21.1 minutes late.
 
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