Seeing People Only Once

[Butts]

Does anyone ever think that every day when you go out that you see people wherever you go that you will never see again ?

This could be locally or certainly when travelling to a place you do not frequent very often - ie abroad.

I wonder how many people we see in a lifetime only once and never again.

Am I going mad ?

 

[DaleCooper]

Am I going mad ?

No, just tripping. It will be ok when you come down.

 

[BestWestern]

I see them all again in my dreams....

 

[AlterEgo]

I thought this was going to be about something else..

 

[Butts]

No, just tripping. It will be ok when you come down.

I didn't realise Benson & Hedges were so strong

 

[J-2739]

Don't really focus much on people unless it becomes a regular thing. Most likely, I forget how they look like and if I see that person again in a few days, I'll pass it off as another person.

 

[DaleCooper]

What about the people you don't see? What happened to them? (cue X files theme music)

 

[Welshman]

In my former life I used to see many people once, and knew I would not see them again. People coming for baptism for their children and making promises on their behalf and for themselves. People wanting their children to be confirmed so they could be admitted to the local church school.
We called it the "theology of the Brief Encounter"
Embarrassingly, if we did meet again, they were far more likely to remember me than I them.

 

[Busaholic]

A slightly different take to yours. How many times have you just seen someone who you know, if only by sight, and you read their death notice in the local paper a few days later? This has happened to me on several occasions over the years, once very recently. In each case the person died within a day or three after I'd seen them, and sometimes it had been ages since I had last seen them. The strangest example of this for me was someone quite well-known who I'd only seen twice, once in my shop and then, freakily coincidentally, a couple of days later hundreds of miles away in a pub (he did give me quite a strange look!) and then about a week later I was reading his obituary. RIP Bernard Bresslaw.

 

[DaleCooper]

A slightly different take to yours. How many times have you just seen someone who you know, if only by sight, and you read their death notice in the local paper a few days later? This has happened to me on several occasions over the years, once very recently. In each case the person died within a day or three after I'd seen them, and sometimes it had been ages since I had last seen them. The strangest example of this for me was someone quite well-known who I'd only seen twice, once in my shop and then, freakily coincidentally, a couple of days later hundreds of miles away in a pub (he did give me quite a strange look!) and then about a week later I was reading his obituary. RIP Bernard Bresslaw.

You're ignoring the hundreds of people you saw and then forgot about because their name didn't appear in the obituaries.

 

[me123]

Am I going mad ?

Yes

You probably think you'll never see people again, but when you live/work/regularly visit somewhere that's fairly small (and I'll include Falkirk in that in this instance) you probably do see lots of people very regularly, but if you don't pay attention to them - and you probably won't - you won't remember their faces when you see them again.

I lived in Coatbridge for over 20 years (:cry which is only slightly bigger than Falkirk with a population of c40,000. I was always finding lots of people in the town that I've "never seen" before, but living in that place for most of my life and with a relatively small population it seems improbable that I haven't seen at least some of those people before, and some of those people will have possibly seen me too. Or for a better example take Airdrie, where I worked for several years in the town's only (at that time) major supermarket. I probably served thousands of people in that job - a good chunk of the population all in all. I could go into Airdrie on several occasions and not recognise anybody, but chances are that I've probably had actual interactions with quite a large number of these people.

Obviously it's very different in places like London with lots of visitors and a high population density, but I suspect it's true even on a local level in these big cities that you'll encounter lots of people who you encounter regularly but won't recognise.

There's no recollection of these events because humans cannot remember thousands of random faces.

 

[Mojo]

Obviously it's very different in places like London with lots of visitors and a high population density, but I suspect it's true even on a local level in these big cities that you'll encounter lots of people who you encounter regularly but won't recognise.

There's no recollection of these events because humans cannot remember thousands of random faces.

lndeed; that's why it's all the more funny when you do recognise someone. l remember a few years ago on the Victoria line, there was a man, but he was pulling a bright purple shopping trolley, like the ones old ladies use. A few months later I saw him on the Goblin and thought that was totally weird.

People are also creatures of habit because of what they do, which makes it more likely you see them. From my local station l pretty much always get on and sit behind the driving cab and often travelling to work l see a woman who works for Japan Air Lines as she is on in the same spot. One Sunday, l was on the Northern line and at Archway a man got on who was wearing really strange shoes; he got on at the same stop the day later and sat in the same seat.

 

[richw]

In my former life I used to see many people once, and knew I would not see them again. People coming for baptism for their children and making promises on their behalf and for themselves. People wanting their children to be confirmed so they could be admitted to the local church school.
We called it the "theology of the Brief Encounter"
Embarrassingly, if we did meet again, they were far more likely to remember me than I them.

I've never understood christening or baptisms of babies whose parents have never been near a church. I always decided it was an excuse for a party/presents.
My children haven't had one, and I think it's wrong to do it as I am not religious, and a non believer.

 

[DaveNewcastle]

People are also creatures of habit

I've got a different take on Butts' question, but while we're talking about coincidentally meeting people we know, or our restricted sphere of contacts due to our habitual patterns, then I must say that I am 'accused' of knowing people everywhere I go. I do seem to encounter people I know a lot, in other cities, in quite unlikely places.

. . .it's all the more funny when you do recognise someone.

My particular 'funny' experience of encounters is skewed by having 3 'doubles' with whom I am very regularly mistaken, even after quite prolonged conversations. I have learned quite a lot about these other individuals from the people who mistake me for them (one of them is professionally connected to railway personnel). One consequence of this strange mistake is that more people greet me as a friend / aquaintance / professional contact than the number of people who actually do know me. As this has been going on for many years, and the others are ageing in similar ways, the confusion is only stregthened by the passage of time.

I wonder how many people we see in a lifetime only once and never again.

But my take on your question is to question the value we place on the fleeting, but probably never to be repeated, glimpse of another person. I am sympathetic to that thought. But as it is a thought about the passing experience, rather than a thought about the relationship with the person, then I would say that the essence of the question is about the significance which we attach to our experiences - ranging from being oblivious to them (experiences or other people), through to being entirely consumed by them. [I don't know a thing about 'mindfulness', but isn't this question in that territory?]. If all that you have to say about the people in your question is that we have a glimpse, that it is feeling, that it is probably never repeated, then I have to ask if that instant is of any significane at all other than as an image? (or scent, or sound)?

Often, I do regret failing to observe something - whether it's in the natural world or the human world (e.g. Why haven't I noticed the kingfisher or otter in the local river for the last few months? Or, why didn't I recognise exactly what a friend had just done to their appearance? Or, why hadn't I noticed that the new moon had appeared? Or, why hadn't I realised that I hadn't seen a neighbour, whom I like to talk to, for a few weeks?).

I regret failing to notice changes (whether in the human or natural world) but I don't regret not seeing again people or things which I encounter once. It's one reason why I haven't bothered to buy a digital camera (I was an enthusiastic photographer for a while in the days of film). If I can't keep an experience of a person alive in my mind (or of a thing), then I don't think that a photo of them is really going to help my relationship with them. And if it's a thing, then it wouldn't be a relationship.

 

[Gelliant]

A slightly different take to yours. How many times have you just seen someone who you know, if only by sight, and you read their death notice in the local paper a few days later? This has happened to me on several occasions over the years, once very recently. In each case the person died within a day or three after I'd seen them, and sometimes it had been ages since I had last seen them. The strangest example of this for me was someone quite well-known who I'd only seen twice, once in my shop and then, freakily coincidentally, a couple of days later hundreds of miles away in a pub (he did give me quite a strange look!) and then about a week later I was reading his obituary.

If these people are turning up in the obituaries only days after you last see them, you're obviously not hiding their bodies well enough.

 

[DaleCooper]

If these people are turning up in the obituaries only days after you last see them, you're obviously not hiding their bodies well enough.

I knew there must be a rational explanation.

 

[PaxVobiscum]

How many times have you just seen someone who you know, if only by sight, and you read their death notice in the local paper a few days later? This has happened to me on several occasions over the years, once very recently. In each case the person died within a day or three after I'd seen them, and sometimes it had been ages since I had last seen them.

In future I shall scrutinise the doodles for future RailUK meets & meals to see if you are attending. I trust you will pardon me if I change my mind at short notice.

 

[Butts]

I suppose some encounters are more memorable than others.

As a middle-aged Man if I see an attractive young lady with a sizeable bosom protruding from a tight top am I likely to recollect that (or those ) more than some old biddy with a shopping trolley.

Thinking about it ID Parades are often based on brief encounters often under stressful circumstances that could perhaps hinder accurate recollection.

 

[PermitToTravel]

A slightly different take to yours. How many times have you just seen someone who you know, if only by sight, and you read their death notice in the local paper a few days later? This has happened to me on several occasions over the years, once very recently. In each case the person died within a day or three after I'd seen them, and sometimes it had been ages since I had last seen them. The strangest example of this for me was someone quite well-known who I'd only seen twice, once in my shop and then, freakily coincidentally, a couple of days later hundreds of miles away in a pub (he did give me quite a strange look!) and then about a week later I was reading his obituary. RIP Bernard Bresslaw.

Was one of your ancestors a basilisk?

 

[Welshman]

I've never understood christening or baptisms of babies whose parents have never been near a church. I always decided it was an excuse for a party/presents.
My children haven't had one, and I think it's wrong to do it as I am not religious, and a non believer.

I agree with you.
Yet it was quite surprising how determined some who held no apparent religious convictions were to still go through this ritual, and how angry they became if I were seen to be refusing it.

 

[AM9]

I agree with you.
Yet it was quite surprising how determined some who held no apparent religious convictions were to still go through this ritual, and how angry they became if I were seen to be refusing it.

It's similar to those who insist on a church wedding despite having no previous history of religious worship and no intention of future involvement with any religious organisation. It's the theatre and additional focus on themselves that they seem to crave.
I have absolutely no religious beliefs but do see the hypocrisy of many church weddings, (christening and funerals too).

 

[DynamicSpirit]

In my former life I used to see many people once, and knew I would not see them again. People coming for baptism for their children and making promises on their behalf and for themselves. People wanting their children to be confirmed so they could be admitted to the local church school.
We called it the "theology of the Brief Encounter"
Embarrassingly, if we did meet again, they were far more likely to remember me than I them.

As an aside, a few years ago, at the church I used to attend, a family was present at a service to get their child baptised. They had never been to that church before or since, so I assume they were an example of what you are describing. They sat in a row right at the front, looking visually extremely conspicuous [*].

The curious thing is that, after having their child baptised, they all got up and left before the end of the service - and if you're a group sitting right at the front, it's very hard to leave in the middle of a service without it being very obvious! By a strange coincidence they chose to leave at almost exactly the moment that the priest had just announced that the offering would be taken during the next hymn. I'm not sure if they would have been aware of the amusement this caused amongst the regular congregation! I guess that, not going to church regularly, they didn't realize that if they wanted to be cheapskates, all they needed to do was sit there and do nothing during the offering, and then noone would have particularly noticed.


[*] As it happens, this church is in a strongly ethnic area, so almost all the regular congregation are black. These people were white, which is not related to the main story, but did cause them to look even more conspicuous, I suspect heightening the amusement value when they walked out.

 

[Butts]

I've never understood christening or baptisms of babies whose parents have never been near a church. I always decided it was an excuse for a party/presents.
My children haven't had one, and I think it's wrong to do it as I am not religious, and a non believer.

What you fail to mention is whether you were christened

I suspect you probably were in which case have you questioned your parents as to why ?

 

[richw]

What you fail to mention is whether you were christened

I suspect you probably were in which case have you questioned your parents as to why ?

Good news is my parents are the influence of my opinion and I am not christened. I got married in a country Manor House.

My dad is the only person christened going back at least 3 generations. He was christened by the hospital as he was in intensive care around 6 months old and it was something the hospital sisters apparently did in those days.

I might get my 9 month old christened to get presents and have a party

 

[507021]

I've often thought the same, especially with people I get talking to on the bus or train. The vast majority of the time, I never see them again, but on the odd occasion we've exchanged contact details and kept in touch after initially meeting.

 

[Castle Cary]

I took my Mother in Law to the cemetary to tend her husband's grave. She kept stopping in front of stones saying "Old so and so - didn't know she was dead". It was very quiet but we did see one old lady coming toward us. As she approached Mother in Law exclaimed "Molly!! I thought you were dead long ago".

 

[keppoch69]

I took my Mother in Law to the cemetary to tend her husband's grave. She kept stopping in front of stones saying "Old so and so - didn't know she was dead". It was very quiet but we did see one old lady coming toward us. As she approached Mother in Law exclaimed "Molly!! I thought you were dead long ago".

Love it! So many people get hung up on death & do not mention it in "polite company". I'm not a <god> person to be honest but there is a saying that religion is for people who are scared of going to hell, & life, is for those of us who have been there a few times already. lol.

 

[Calthrop]

The business of a-religious people getting their infants christened -- it's always seemed weird and a bit creepy, to me; but "people are funny".

People wanting their children to be confirmed so they could be admitted to the local church school.
We called it the "theology of the Brief Encounter"
Embarrassingly, if we did meet again, they were far more likely to remember me than I them.

If there’s a perceived practical benefit to getting the thing done, even though one doesn’t believe in it – as in Welshman ’s example above – it’s understandable. My mother and her four siblings were born about a hundred years ago, to atheist / agnostic (former Anglican, rebelled-against-the-whole-thing) parents: which parents nevertheless had all the kids christened, reckoning (true enough for those times) that the kids might face prejudice and disadvantages in later life if it emerged that they’d not been christened. (Some three decades later, when attitudes had changed considerably, my similarly non-religious parents did not have me and my two brothers christened.)

I’ve always felt that (if practicalities as above, don’t apply) there’s something “off” about getting your kid christened, if you’re not a genuine believer. Dedicating the poor infant to a path in life which is in many ways arduous, restrictive, hazardous, toilsome, and potentially life-ruining – when you don’t actually subscribe to same, and don’t mean any of it – what’s all that about? It strikes me as wrong, on several levels. (Rather the same, re -- as per AM9 -- non-believers wanting to get married in church because of the pomp and ceremony.)

I recall reading in someone’s memoir, about a smug, pompous git of a politician defending -- to a colleague who expressed to him sentiments such as mine above – christening of infants on the part of non-believing parents in a non-believing milieu: on the grounds that it was about social bonding and “the grammar of living”; with the clear implication that only weird, freakish, despicable sandal-wearing hippie “outlier” types, would think and do differently. Just reading that, made me angry – I feel that if I’d been the person addressed, I’d have shoved the ****’s “grammar of living” right up an uncomfortable portion of his anatomy.

 

[Busaholic]

Was one of your ancestors a basilisk?

If I knew what one was, I might be able to answer.
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---

In future I shall scrutinise the doodles for future RailUK meets & meals to see if you are attending. I trust you will pardon me if I change my mind at short notice.

Don't worry, I haven't attended any (yet)
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---

If these people are turning up in the obituaries only days after you last see them, you're obviously not hiding their bodies well enough.

Curses, you've got me bang to rights, guvnor

 

[Bevan Price]

A slightly different take to yours. How many times have you just seen someone who you know, if only by sight, and you read their death notice in the local paper a few days later? This has happened to me on several occasions over the years, once very recently. In each case the person died within a day or three after I'd seen them, and sometimes it had been ages since I had last seen them. The strangest example of this for me was someone quite well-known who I'd only seen twice, once in my shop and then, freakily coincidentally, a couple of days later hundreds of miles away in a pub (he did give me quite a strange look!) and then about a week later I was reading his obituary. RIP Bernard Bresslaw.

Are you a
1. Jinx ?
2. Witch ?
3. A harbinger of doom ?
4. Just a bringer of bad luck to people you know ?

Probably none of those, but some people might think the opposite.