Ridiculous Train Travel Mistakes

[Tim R-T-C]

On that topic, I have often wondered how far you could get if you brought a ticket between two random stations, I once had a ticket from Connonely to Marple and I wonder if I could have used it on a few long distance trains, counting on the fact that most conductors would probably not have come across one or both of the stations...

 

[jay jay]

A great one I saw the other day was on a Southern train from London to Lewes. The guard came round doing a ticket check on what was a busy train. He asked a chap for his ticket and informed him he was in the incorrect portion of the train for Worthing. This chap then said "I know I am - there are no seats in the Littlehampton part. I will move when I am good and ready. I don't need babysitting."
The guard then said that's fine sir and carried on with his ticket check. Anyway, this bloke then fell asleep and I couldn't help but notice that the train had now divided at Haywards Heath. I wasn't going to wake him - he was about to get everything he deserved for his awful attitude and the way he spoke to the guard. It wasn't just me who noticed him, infact it seemed everyone in the immediate vicinity of him was willing the train to depart towards Lewes and it duly did! He eventually woke up around Lewes asking how far from Haywards Heath we were. A young lady opposite took great pleasure in telling him we were approaching Lewes. The look on his face was priceless and when informed by the guard on the platform at Lewes it was now not possible to reach wherever he was going because of the time of night I found it all the more amusing!

 

[Flamingo]

Somebody showed me a ticket a few weeks ago from Newport (gwent) to Newport (essex).

I did a double-take!

 

[185]

Had one some years ago on the 545 National Express coach.... halfway up the M6 passenger sounding like Gazza shouting at me "do you not know where your going, you've turned off the M1!?!!?"

Yes.

Newcastle.

(Staffs).

 

[89-763-733]

Around 1997. I was having a cab ride on an 80 class (driver now retired) when the conductor (now a driver) comes up to the cab of 69 and said we had a Dublin passenger on board! Only thing wrong with that was we were the 1736 Bangor-Londonderry at were at Castlerock at the time. (The conductor had only got on at Coleraine) We spent the trip from Castlerock to Derry wondering how he managed to confuse a bright orange mk2 set with a 3 piece 80. As this was Saturday night he got to Dublin around 1700 the next day instead of 2015

 

[185]

A winner was the "best driver in the depot", often proclaiming himself as "best driver in the depot". Two weeks after passing out, Mr Perfect only 'signed off' one route, to Manchester Airport from Piccadilly. He was down promptly for his train, set off, and on turning the left hand corner at Ardwick Junction, slammed all his brakes on.....

Called the box..... "Signaller! You've sent me the wrong way.... are you stupid? You shouldn't be ... " etc etc etc.

Signaller..... "Driver, you are at the controls of the 1627 Middlesbrough service and you were supposed to take out the 1628 to Manchester Airport. The correct driver of the 1627 has just telephoned me to report his train being stolen. For the benefit of the tape, you have taken the wrong train, taken the wrong route on the gantry, you are an idiot, and should not be driving."

Driver...... "Don't try and cover up your mistakes....I'll......" etc (carrys on)

.....cue an entire platform of people laughing at him and four stony faced driver managers when he brought the train back.

 

[Flamingo]

Lovely!!!!!!!
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---

On that topic, I have often wondered how far you could get if you brought a ticket between two random stations, I once had a ticket from Connonely to Marple and I wonder if I could have used it on a few long distance trains, counting on the fact that most conductors would probably not have come across one or both of the stations...

I occasionally have to ask passengers "Ok, where the hell is that?"

Usually get told somewhere in Essex!

 

[Eagle]

Re confusing the guards as to where you're actually going: that would work best with two really generic-sounding but nearby shacks. Upton to Moreton is probably the best one, and it's a £1.80 single. I wonder how long a journey you could get away with on that...

 

[ainsworth74]

.....cue an entire platform of people laughing at him and four stony faced driver managers when he brought the train back.

Sooo is Mr 'Perfect' Driver still a driver...

 

[89-763-733]

Around 1997. I was having a cab ride on an 80 class (driver now retired) when the conductor (now a driver) comes up to the cab of 69 and said we had a Dublin passenger on board! Only thing wrong with that was we were the 1736 Bangor-Londonderry at were at Castlerock at the time. (The conductor had only got on at Coleraine) We spent the trip from Castlerock to Derry wondering how he managed to confuse a bright orange mk2 set with a 3 piece 80. As this was Saturday night he got to Dublin around 1700 the next day instead of 2015

Should have looked at my moves records before posting. It was 1997, 26.04.97 to be precise. But the 80 class was 97 working 1805 ex Belfast Central

 

[FGWman]

Somebody showed me a ticket a few weeks ago from Newport (gwent) to Newport (essex).

I did a double-take!

thats impossible. Newport (Gwent) was renamed Newport (South Wales) at least 2 years ago
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---
One night someone jumped on at the last minute. The train usually went Reading Newbury Taunton but due to engineering works that noght was diverted via Bristol so went Reading Taunton. I had made a PA to let people know but this passenger sprinted alond the platform grabbed a door jumped in and slammed the door again. Literally 1 second later got the tip locked the doors and set off.

Went into coach checking tickets. Yep they wanted to go to Newbury. What should have been a 15 minute journey turned into one of 4hours.

 

[OMGitsDAVE]

Had one person who at Hartlepool ran on to the GC to London Kings Cross... and they wanted to be at Seaton Carew...

'Next stop Eaglescliffe' - "OH MY GOD"

This meant they had to get off at Eaglescliffe, change to a Northern to Thornaby then change again for a train to Seaton.

Gutted!

 

[Minilad]

A winner was the "best driver in the depot", often proclaiming himself as "best driver in the depot". Two weeks after passing out, Mr Perfect only 'signed off' one route, to Manchester Airport from Piccadilly. He was down promptly for his train, set off, and on turning the left hand corner at Ardwick Junction, slammed all his brakes on.....

Called the box..... "Signaller! You've sent me the wrong way.... are you stupid? You shouldn't be ... " etc etc etc.

Signaller..... "Driver, you are at the controls of the 1627 Middlesbrough service and you were supposed to take out the 1628 to Manchester Airport. The correct driver of the 1627 has just telephoned me to report his train being stolen. For the benefit of the tape, you have taken the wrong train, taken the wrong route on the gantry, you are an idiot, and should not be driving."

Driver...... "Don't try and cover up your mistakes....I'll......" etc (carrys on)

.....cue an entire platform of people laughing at him and four stony faced driver managers when he brought the train back.

We had someone like that too. Ex police officer, thought he knew everything and wouldn't take advice.
Made plenty of cock ups, all of which, amazingly, were someone else's fault. He even managed to take a 47 and stock into Moor Street !!!
Of course it was the singallers fault for putting him on the slow at Tyseley !!
He isn't driving trains anymore

 

[Flamingo]

thats impossible. Newport (Gwent) was renamed Newport (South Wales) at least 2 years ago

Ok, be pedantic! Who are you, Ralph?
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---

We had someone like that too. Ex police officer, thought he knew everything and wouldn't take advice.
Made plenty of cock ups, all of which, amazingly, were someone else's fault. He even managed to take a 47 and stock into Moor Street !!!
Of course it was the singallers fault for putting him on the slow at Tyseley !!
He isn't driving trains anymore

I'm amazed at the number of people who have never figured out that if you screw up, admit it and it becomes a retraining issue, deny it / try to pass the buck and it becomes a disciplinary issue.

 

[LE Greys]

Somebody showed me a ticket a few weeks ago from Newport (gwent) to Newport (essex).

I did a double-take!

Is that available via the Isle of Wight?

 

[Clint]

When I was younger, me and 2 or 3 other lads had gone to Worksop for the day. We then decided to get the train to Shireoaks so that we could see the trains that were in the depot as we went past, and noted from the timetable that there was a train that returned back to Worksop more or less straight after we arrived there.

We got on the train, went past the depot and arrived in Shireoaks, and got off the train to see our return train approaching. Result!

However, the level-crossing barriers next to the station stayed down, and as there is no bridge between the platforms in Shireoaks, we had to watch as the return train then set off without us, condemning us to spend the next hour in the relatively train-free environment of Shireoaks station.

 

[Lampshade]

However, the level-crossing barriers next to the station stayed down, and as there is no bridge between the platforms in Shireoaks, we had to watch as the return train then set off without us, condemning us to spend the next hour in the relatively train-free environment of Shireoaks station.

I nearly had the same problem earlier this year travelling from Bamber Bridge into Preston. Problem was the track circuit for the level crossing is a long way away so the barriers came down a good four minutes before the train arrived. I watched as the 142 trundled slowly across the crossing and stopped in Bamber Bridge station. Thankfully, the barriers raised in just enough time for me to sprint onto the platform.

 

[Flamingo]

is that available via the isle of wight?

Very good

 

[Ferret]

We had someone like that too. Ex police officer, thought he knew everything and wouldn't take advice.
Made plenty of cock ups, all of which, amazingly, were someone else's fault. He even managed to take a 47 and stock into Moor Street !!!
Of course it was the singallers fault for putting him on the slow at Tyseley !!
He isn't driving trains anymore

I remember the Moor St foul up - a legendary faux pas, right up there with the infamous Train Manager who waved goodbye to his own train at Congleton!

 

[ainsworth74]

Well do go on Ferret you've got me curious now...

 

[curly42]

Back in the early 1980s I had to take a d.m.u. from Cardiff Canton to Soho depot in Birmingham.At Severn Tunnel I was routed via the tunnel itself so I stopped and questioned the route with the signalman,who said "you're bound for Soho" "yes,and it's via Gloucester" - "long way round to get to London mate" was the answer.
Cue long explanation of the fact that the Soho in question was in Birmingham,and one very confused signalman.

 

[Eric]

Mine would have to be the time I got on the York - London Kings Cross thinking it called at Leeds.

The next stop was Peterborough

 

[Ferret]

Well do go on Ferret you've got me curious now...

Not much more needs to be said! The TM wasn't on board when the train departed It was a loco/stock service, the station was on a bend so the Guard had to step a distance away from his door to give the green flag to the driver, and he failed to get back in the halfbrake in time, and so watched in abject horror as the train departed without him being on board!

 

[jaigee]

The best one was not me at all, although I have had my fair share.

A while ago I was travelling first class on the VT 20:48 from LIV-EUS, which was empty as usual. On arrival at Crewe (21:24) the station staff escorted a very agitated lady on board and made her comfortable.

What had transpired was that she had boarded the 18:40 EUS-MAN to see off her elderly mother and the train had pulled out with her still on board.

The first stop for the service was Crewe and to make it worse it was 50 minutes late arriving. My train was the next and fastest one back with an arrival at EUS of 23:56! She had left her car in a short stay area with the dog in and was 'phoning her husband to rescue it etc..

She said at first she was quite relaxed about it thinking it would stop at Watford Junction or, at the worse, Milton Keynes.

 

[Flamingo]

Had a woman a few weeks ago, put her mother on board, had affectionate goodbye, gets back to door as the train is moving, then puts door on catch, intending to jump off a moving train.

Platform staff told me to do emergency stop (correct), then told me there was an emergency, open the doors (incorrect).

If I'd known what it was, I'd have just said NO and carried her to the next stop.

 

[Oswyntail]

Not much more needs to be said! The TM wasn't on board when the train departed It was a loco/stock service, the station was on a bend so the Guard had to step a distance away from his door to give the green flag to the driver, and he failed to get back in the halfbrake in time, and so watched in abject horror as the train departed without him being on board!

Reminds me of the time the "Royal Scotsman" set (I think) paused at Hellifield. Lots of VERY rich Americans got off to stretch their legs, accompanied by the TM, as the scheduled wait was about 30 minutes. They took it very well when the train received the green light after a couple of minutes and trundled off towards Clitheroe - they just assumed it was routine and it would be back shortly. TM seemed unfazed as well - probably the best way to handle such situations.

 

[Sapphire Blue]

Had a woman a few weeks ago, put her mother on board, had affectionate goodbye, gets back to door as the train is moving, then puts door on catch, intending to jump off a moving train.

Got on a LMid service at Liverpool South Parkway to Birmingham and we had just left when a lady ran through the train in a very agitated state shouting for the guard. Transpired that she too had been seeing her mother safely to her seat when the train set off with her on board.

Complication here was that she had left her daughter (aged 10) on the platform at LPY.

Cue phone calls from the guard to "control?" at LPY.

Fortunately the little girl had more sense than her mother and had approached the dispatcher instantly the train set off and was sitting safe in the managers office. Mother got off next stop (Runcorn) presumably to continue with her parenting skills.

 

[Clip]

Ol dcolleague of mine used to get the thameslink and change at london bridge to get home. after a nightshift he Fell asleep ended up at brighton - fell asleep on the way back and ended up at Hendon.

Done the same myself on northern line too many times and woke up at mill hill when i wanted to be south of the river

 

[island]

She was lucky, and i must admit i have to do that with my girlfriend shes relatively good she remebers 142's by fact they look like they have hats

Pacers are the only thing my wife can pick out and distinguish from other British trains

 

[89-763-733.]

a 6 piece CAF on translink has to have two conductors. A while back I watched one leave for Bangor with one of them taking a while to realise he could not run along the platform at 15-20mph to reach the front cab in time to get the driver to stop