In the adult world, walking away is the sensible answer. But teenagers, especially girls, are pack animals - be or do anything different and the hyenas drag you down. Exclusion from the group is the most painful thing imaginable. All it needs is for the latest goss to be sent round on a site you do not subscribe to, and you are out. Of course the mature reaction is to ignore things and walk away, but, by definition, the people involved are not mature.
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Online Abuse
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RailUK Forums
Perhaps it is just new accounts then.
flymo
Established Member
Nope, not at all. You will only ever need to input a phone number if you want to use the facebook app. If you use facebook only on a PC or laptop or other such 'non-mobile' media you NEVER need to input your phone number. Facebook may ask you for one but you are never under any obligation to provide one. This is entirely your choice.
These are my experiences, other user's experiences may differ.
By the way, I'm not having a rant here, just simply pointing out the fact that just because somebody asks for something, it doesn't necessarily follow that you need to provide it, no matter how many times they ask.
Above all, please be safe out there and never share anything online you are not comfortable with ....EVER... !!
Johnuk123
Established Member
- Joined
- 19 Mar 2012
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- 2,800
Don't think I did say the victims are to blame.
My point is that even if you had the most over-moderated site in the world you cannot stop abuse.
Even if abuse is taken off immediately which is impossible it's already too late as it's probably already been read.
There is no fool-proof way other than pre-moderating which would finish all social networking sites immediately.
It's alright implying that some people cannot live without Facebook but when it gets bad enough to kill themselves I'm afraid it's time to stop.
Strange. A friend of mine recently signed up for Facebook and it would not let her pass the signup process until it had confirmed a mobile number for her. It didn't store the number for her on her account, but send her code that she had to input to a box on the signup process before her account became 'Active'.
Perhaps they run some kind of risk system where it only asks certain people to confirm their identify via a mobile number where it believes they pose a threat to the site.
flymo
Established Member
That may well be but I doubt it. I just tried on the off chance and created an alter ego without difficulty. Better disconnect that one though. I don't want to be a girl born in 1934....any more...
Having said that I am not in the UK, where facebook may have different policies than other countries.
221129
Established Member
With Ask.fm on mine every time I answer a question it posts on my facebook, I too recently have been receiving abusive messages but because it posted to facebook I have had people see it and join you to defeat and expose the trolls so you don't suffer in silence unlike on other sites. For example I have attached a message I recently received The bottom one is my friend.
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bb21
Emeritus Moderator
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- 24,465
It's kind of funny seeing those idiots who can't even talk properly trying to throw abuse at others.
Perhaps that is the only way they know how to communicate. Bless.
Perhaps that is the only way they know how to communicate. Bless.
flymo
Established Member
After seeing the link supplied by ollieb, thank you by the way, I actually begin to fear for the future of the human race. If this is ask.fm then I am glad I am not part of it.
221129
Established Member
Indeed, As you can see sometimes just a simple Post of unity can make others think twice before posting abuse again. That post was posted on Sunday night. Today I have had no abuse since these were posted showing unity and that Others are there to support me.
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Manchester77
Established Member
The strategy my son used when he got hate was to sarcastically agree. I was looking beige and where he'd get something like 'omg ur such a d!çk I hate you so much' he'd reply 'aw thank you I hate me too : )' which I thought was good as I guess they wouldn't expect that!
221129
Established Member
It does usually work yes.
ReverendFozz
Member
I fully understand what must be going through a young persons mind, given that I myself was lucky to survive a suicide attempt when I was 15, Facebook, Ask or Twitter was not around then, but for 2 years I had been getting bullied, not just name calling, physical abuse and abuse that bordered on sexual abuse as well, I was bullied by lads, lasses and even teachers...I would be told I was 'pathetic', I wasn't living, I was existing, I was only there as a tool for bullies, I would be better off dead, people would even try to give me suicide tips, I was a walking bruise for 2 years without a single friend in the world, since then the only problem I had was on a message board when I was 19, I jumped to the defence of another member who was getting abused and bullied, and the person turned on me with some of the most sickening threats I ever had to deal with, but I took that to the police and it was dealt with.
I can relate to this girl who was bullied online and I can fully sympathise with her family, if this was anything like when I was a kid it has hard to talk about things like this, it was impossible to goto teachers and when I did, I would end up being branded a troublemaker.
At the end of the day, if young people are being picked on online or in real life, I would urge, practically on my hands and knees begging them to find someone to talk to
90sWereBetter
Member
I am the sort of person that, if I received abuse online, I'd either reply to it in a humorous and condescending way, or ignored it, as per the saying "don't feed the trolls". I wish more young people were headstrong though, and didn't take the abuse to heart. 
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Morgsie
Member
I have been victim of online bullying by Moderators on another forum I use, I have been bullied off due to an incident before the news of the teenager who committed suicide due to bullying. I have logged off and will not be logging back on until I know it is safe to do so. It is not right for Moderators to get away with bullying
I have not experienced bullying on this forum
I have not experienced bullying on this forum
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It could be interpreted that some posters here are essentially saying that you shouldn't do anything if bullying can occur, slightly impractical considering how widespread bullying is and in this case is downright thoughtless and insensitive.
Simply blocking a website is a short-term and ineffective solution, removing oneself from social networks such as twitter and facebook would be a simplistic and rather crude way of dealing with cyberbullying. Neither of these effectively deal with the bullies themselves and returning to what I previously said, why should the victim have to restrict their own freedoms?
At the end of the day bullying should be unacceptable anywhere, regardless of the form it takes.
Simply blocking a website is a short-term and ineffective solution, removing oneself from social networks such as twitter and facebook would be a simplistic and rather crude way of dealing with cyberbullying. Neither of these effectively deal with the bullies themselves and returning to what I previously said, why should the victim have to restrict their own freedoms?
At the end of the day bullying should be unacceptable anywhere, regardless of the form it takes.
Morgsie
Member
What happened was that I was banned from 2 forums out of the blue and the Mod's reasoning was that it was in my best interests. I was not contacted prior to this. This Mod has lied aswell
I am autistic (Aspergers) and I have depression which they knew about and it has been used against me including the Moderator in question
I am autistic (Aspergers) and I have depression which they knew about and it has been used against me including the Moderator in question
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starrymarkb
Established Member
Sounds like somewhere to avoid
PuffingBilly0612
Member
- Joined
- 19 May 2013
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- 24
Peer pressure can be hard to resist, I know. The best thing I can think of is to set up a Facebook page and make your settings so that your friends can see your profile and to interact with you. Don't let the outside world in. A bit like a remote club. Open access sites where anyone can read what you write and leave anonymous messages must be avoided at all costs. Anonymity can bring out the very worst in people and frankly you only get to know a 'front' not the real person. In some cases they may be entirely different people from what they claim they are. Forget Twitter too. Only twits twitter and what can you say in a sentence anyway?
There are many places that you can go to meet young people of your own age. It is healthy to interact in the physical world - to play sports, to go to social events and to meet at friends houses to play music, or to do your homework together. None of these things need cost a lot but the rewards can be higher than just being stuck indoors and living a big chunk of your life on the internet pretending to have loads of friends who have never seen you, let alone care about you.
As for the ask.fm site. If you have a problem ask a real, trustworthy person, not an anoymous profile online, or seek out message boards that specialise ina specific area (like this one). If people troll you or start to abuse you, report the problem to the moderators and if the problem doesn't go away, make sure that you do. Take control of your own life; don't let others do it for you. All it takes is a deletion of an account, which is a lot less costly than a deletion of a life.
Suicide is, indeed, tragic. It is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---
To keep safe on websites, read what the experts on this subject say. But at the top of my head I would suggest the following:
1. If you set up a Facebook profile - ensure the settings are Private, allowing only those you specifically invite see your profile.
2. Only invite people you have met before or else ensure you have a very good idea of what they are likely to be like. Don't randomly become a Facebook friend to anyone who invites you.
3. Never EVER divulge any personal information to people on any website.
4. Never EVER meet anyone alone that you have contacted on any website if you have never met them in person and can trust them. Don't even do that with new contacts who seem trustworthy after a long time - but you've still never met them - not unless that person is personally endorsed by someone you know in the flesh (also trustworthy) who recommends them as someone worth meeting and befriending.
5. Don't bother airing your views or personal diary content onto any open access site.
6. If you are ever abused, DON'T respond to the troll or flamer or the abuse. Just ignore them entirely. They will soon get bored if you are not giving them any pleasure in their cruelty. Also, just don't visit the site at all for a while. If the problem persists, even if you dont' answer - just close the account completely and move on.
SS4
Established Member
Today's kids are pretty much the first generation to go through adolescence wholly online and they have to join social networks in order to fit in whereas people like myself (mid 20s) and those older than me could get away with having peer groups offline.
It's a very simple piece of advice for everyone to not post things you'd not say in public online. Having to go through social networks/chat rooms instead of conversing offline means hurtful things can be more easily posted. This can be done at any time too so it's easier to not get any information until it's too late. Walking away from social networks means walking away from the group and for impressionable teenagers the ostracisation may be too much.
A lot of controversy for this story is because those in charge have little idea of what a life wholly lived online for the world to see is like. They're applying the values they grew up with to a world which no longer exists. We've seen it already with blocking thepiratebay and the porn filter.
A side-effect of spending one's teenage years online is that your information is gathered (you, or more accurately your information/details, are the product on sites like Facebook) readily visible to anyone who wishes to search for it including future employers.
This is why I feel we must keep a degree of anonymity online, to protect ourselves from dangers more threatening than bullying.
It's a very simple piece of advice for everyone to not post things you'd not say in public online. Having to go through social networks/chat rooms instead of conversing offline means hurtful things can be more easily posted. This can be done at any time too so it's easier to not get any information until it's too late. Walking away from social networks means walking away from the group and for impressionable teenagers the ostracisation may be too much.
A lot of controversy for this story is because those in charge have little idea of what a life wholly lived online for the world to see is like. They're applying the values they grew up with to a world which no longer exists. We've seen it already with blocking thepiratebay and the porn filter.
A side-effect of spending one's teenage years online is that your information is gathered (you, or more accurately your information/details, are the product on sites like Facebook) readily visible to anyone who wishes to search for it including future employers.
This is why I feel we must keep a degree of anonymity online, to protect ourselves from dangers more threatening than bullying.
Morgsie
Member
It is the The Student Room and they have thrown out my complaint saying I was the one in the wrong because I broke T&Cs which I was pressurised to sign in the first place. I feel like it has been slapped in the face and I don't know what to do now. I have become depressed
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Geezertronic
Established Member
The moderation of online sites, particularly forums, leaves a lot to be desired and a lot of sites could do with taking a leaf out of how this site is moderated & managed.
I can't stop my daughter (16) from going online but I advise her that if anything starts kicking off then she should ignore it or close her account down (with particular emphasis on social media there). She has a Facebook account and a Twitter account that she has locked down to only people she invites/accepts
I can't stop my daughter (16) from going online but I advise her that if anything starts kicking off then she should ignore it or close her account down (with particular emphasis on social media there). She has a Facebook account and a Twitter account that she has locked down to only people she invites/accepts
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