westcoaster
Established Member
Following on from Oldtimers strory about Lamping a Signal In a Storm , and seeing as we have not had one off these threads for a long time, here are a few i know about
Joker left behind
picture the scene, your the driver of a goods train back in BR days, you go to your train and find your guard for the day is the company's comedian. Your journey to drop of your load goes fine, you shunt up to the empties to be returned, also today you have to pick up another brake van that was previously broken but has been fixed, and you add this to your consisit, while doing this the guard is giving you gestures to hurry up, as he wants to go home after an early start, once coupled up and brake tests are done, its time to leave, on your way back home your loco fail's on a single line section.
Whilst waiting for the guard to come up and see what has happened, he does not appear, so you go back and find him fast asleep,
you get on the signal phone to the box to ask for assistance, "your lucky day " comes the response from the bobby, " we have got a light loco waiting for you to clear the singal line, we will send him to rescue you".
As the rescue loco approaches you stop him short of the failed loco, you explained what has happened,
" i'll bang em up" comes the reply.
" bruv creep up and only just touch the buffers"
"why"
"guards asleep, poor fellow"
"who is it"
"******* "
"ah i see, will do what ya going to do"
"bang em up, lets get going and ill tell ya"
driver 1 then explains to driver 2 his plan, lets tell the bobby there is a brake fault so we will have to drop the failed loco off en-route and leave a brake van attatched, once they reach the next signal box they tell the bobby there is a fault with the failed loco and it is best to drop it off in a siding, bobby says ok put it in xyz, so being as quiet as they can they shunt the train around drop off the loco first up agaginst a pair off buffers then put the rear brake van on front off the loco (makes it look like the realy is a brake fault on the loco, plus isolate a few) checked the guard still dead to the world, couple back up to the empties, and on there way back to the depot and home.
meanwhile the dozzing guard wakes up, has a look outside, jaw drops and frog marches to the signal box for an explination as to where the train is?
signaller replys "left about 2 hours ago, sorrry"
guard finally gets back and is no longer the joker but the but off everyone's jokes.
Guard left behind
picture the scene your a guard working a first generation DMU along a branch line , with many stations and gated level crossing's, you stop at xyz and once doors are shut you give the driver the train ready to start signal on the bell, after a few seconds the train makes a noise but does not move, you get out onto the platform and start to walk up the front to find out what has happened, as you get halfway along the train, it starts to move, you shout to stop it but this falls on deaf ears, all you can do is watch it trundle into the distance, you walk to the end of the platform and ask the crossing keeper to call ahead to let the driver know what has happened.
the crossing keeper being a nice fellow offers you a lift in his nice shiny ford siera to the next stop, which you accept, only to find out he thinks he is micheal schumacker.
and you actually reach the next stop before the train, as the train pulls along the platform the driver looks mystified as to how you got there, you then give him an ear full for leaving you behind, only to get the reply you silly **** should have given me one on the bell you ****
.
fell free to add your own?
Joker left behind
picture the scene, your the driver of a goods train back in BR days, you go to your train and find your guard for the day is the company's comedian. Your journey to drop of your load goes fine, you shunt up to the empties to be returned, also today you have to pick up another brake van that was previously broken but has been fixed, and you add this to your consisit, while doing this the guard is giving you gestures to hurry up, as he wants to go home after an early start, once coupled up and brake tests are done, its time to leave, on your way back home your loco fail's on a single line section.
Whilst waiting for the guard to come up and see what has happened, he does not appear, so you go back and find him fast asleep,
you get on the signal phone to the box to ask for assistance, "your lucky day " comes the response from the bobby, " we have got a light loco waiting for you to clear the singal line, we will send him to rescue you".As the rescue loco approaches you stop him short of the failed loco, you explained what has happened,
" i'll bang em up" comes the reply.
" bruv creep up and only just touch the buffers"
"why"
"guards asleep, poor fellow"
"who is it"
"******* "
"ah i see, will do what ya going to do"
"bang em up, lets get going and ill tell ya"
driver 1 then explains to driver 2 his plan, lets tell the bobby there is a brake fault so we will have to drop the failed loco off en-route and leave a brake van attatched, once they reach the next signal box they tell the bobby there is a fault with the failed loco and it is best to drop it off in a siding, bobby says ok put it in xyz, so being as quiet as they can they shunt the train around drop off the loco first up agaginst a pair off buffers then put the rear brake van on front off the loco (makes it look like the realy is a brake fault on the loco, plus isolate a few) checked the guard still dead to the world, couple back up to the empties, and on there way back to the depot and home.
meanwhile the dozzing guard wakes up, has a look outside, jaw drops and frog marches to the signal box for an explination as to where the train is?
signaller replys "left about 2 hours ago, sorrry"
guard finally gets back and is no longer the joker but the but off everyone's jokes.
Guard left behind
picture the scene your a guard working a first generation DMU along a branch line , with many stations and gated level crossing's, you stop at xyz and once doors are shut you give the driver the train ready to start signal on the bell, after a few seconds the train makes a noise but does not move, you get out onto the platform and start to walk up the front to find out what has happened, as you get halfway along the train, it starts to move, you shout to stop it but this falls on deaf ears, all you can do is watch it trundle into the distance, you walk to the end of the platform and ask the crossing keeper to call ahead to let the driver know what has happened.
the crossing keeper being a nice fellow offers you a lift in his nice shiny ford siera to the next stop, which you accept, only to find out he thinks he is micheal schumacker.
and you actually reach the next stop before the train, as the train pulls along the platform the driver looks mystified as to how you got there, you then give him an ear full for leaving you behind, only to get the reply you silly **** should have given me one on the bell you ****
.fell free to add your own?
