Made up excuses for lateness

[DunsBus]

I didn't get where I am today by not recognising these excuses...

Last year I heard an announcement at Guildford saying that the next service to Waterloo had been cancelled due to a signal failure at Surbiton. I remember thinking "maybe Reggie Perrin's excuses weren't that far-fetched after all."

 

[speedy1]

Lies will continue until there is a consequence...

I like to call a spade a spade

 

[Parallel]

I’ve been at Newport before when a train was delayed due to ‘a speed restriction because of high winds’ when it was an exceptionally hot day over most of the UK with very little breeze.

I suspect they wanted ‘a speed restriction due to high track temperatures’ but selected the wrong reason.

 

[Ashley Hill]

After a terrible trip from Hereford to Bristol on a 158 where we experienced multiple track circuit failures and my driver had to use the SPTs every few miles. When he was approached on arrival at Bristol by a young railman saying that control wanted to know why we were late he replied “poor steaming due to poor quality coal!” The railman wrote it down and disappeared. We never heard anymore about it.

 

[amahy]

I’ve been on trains that were delayed “due to disruptive passengers”, when in reality, it was just a lazy guard taking ages to do the doors at each station for no obvious reason!

 

[Magrar]

"Animals on the line" - Northumberland Line.

All trains delayed all day by 15 minutes. Impressive.

It raised my eyebrow as a reason, since as far as I could tell, most of the budget seemed to have been spent fortifying the entire P-Way with that goddawful impenetrable metal fencing that someone out there thinks becomes invisible if you paint it dark green.

They could have meant the local youth I guess....

 

[Falcon1200]

Why don't you re-time all your trains to arrive 11 minutes late, then they would all be on time?

All that is needed is public arrival times to be 11 minutes later than the working timetable times. Sorted!

 

[Bletchleyite]

Fair comments there, but it’s been happening on the Newcastle-Carlisle service.

Having checked, this delay attribution code can also mean the train was short formed and that caused delay. The "slower train" wording is one of Realtime Trains' own ones.

It's basically a code for where the allocated rolling stock was the root cause of the delay but it wasn't faulty as such, there was just something out of the ordinary with it and that caused a delay.

 

[Justin Time]

Having checked, this delay attribution code can also mean the train was short formed and that caused delay. The "slower train" wording is one of Realtime Trains' own ones.

It's basically a code for where the allocated rolling stock was the root cause of the delay but it wasn't faulty as such, there was just something out of the ordinary with it and that caused a delay.

Fair enough. Thanks. But I don’t get the short formed bit, it’s always a 2 car 156 or 158.

 

[sk688]

Irish Rail are terrible for this
90% of delays put down to " operational issues " with no further information provided

 

[vlad]

You do get excuses that seem bizarre but are actually correct.

I was waiting at Edale earlier this year and the reason given that the Northern stopper to Manchester was delayed was snow in Grimsby. Given it wasn't snowing in Edale and the Northern stopper doesn't go anywhere near Grimsby you'd think that Northern were just trying to slip bizarre reasons through the net. However, the Northern stopper is timetabled to leave Sheffield a couple of minutes after the Transpennine service to Liverpool, which does go through Grimsby about an hour and a half before it reaches Sheffield. If only they'd explained that.

 

[Waterlemon]

Last year I heard an announcement at Guildford saying that the next service to Waterloo had been cancelled due to a signal failure at Surbiton. I remember thinking "maybe Reggie Perrin's excuses weren't that far-fetched after all."

How is that far fetched?
Surbiton is on 2/3 of the routes from GLD to WAT and with the amount of trains SWR force through Surbiton, infrastructure failures can have massive rippling effects requiring intervention by controllers.

 

[Mcr Warrior]

I was waiting at Edale earlier this year and the reason given that the Northern stopper to Manchester was delayed was snow in Grimsby. Given it wasn't snowing in Edale and the Northern stopper doesn't go anywhere near Grimsby you'd think that Northern were just trying to slip bizarre reasons through the net.

Can you remember just how long the Northern stopper was delayed? If it was a matter of a few minutes, then the 'explanation' is perhaps plausible. If it's somewhat longer than that, then why not let the Northern stopper depart Sheffield on time? Unless there's nowhere to loop it before it reaches New Mills South Jct.

 

[DunsBus]

How is that far fetched?
Surbiton is on 2/3 of the routes from GLD to WAT and with the amount of trains SWR force through Surbiton, infrastructure failures can have massive rippling effects requiring intervention by controllers.

One of Reggie Perrin's excuses was "Eleven minutes late, someone had stolen the lines at Surbiton." It was that one which came to mind when I heard the announcement of the points failure.

 

[webbfan]

Lies will continue until there is a consequence...

I like to call a spade a spade

Or if you worked on IBM documentation then it's 'An earth inversion unit - manual option'.

 

[TastyMaltesers]

Bemused by train cancelled "because of an issue with the train crew". Were they having counselling?

Not that unusual for there to be a problem resourcing crew - they may be travelling in on a delayed/cancelled service, or there might be sickness, nobody working overtime to cover a turn, or they may have run out of hours after delays... lots of possible answers.

 

[TastyMaltesers]

TfW’s favourite: ”More trains than usual needing repairs at the same time“

What they really mean is "more trains than we planned for are out of service".

 

[speedy1]

Or if you worked on IBM documentation then it's 'An earth inversion unit - manual option'.

LOL I'll have to remember that one

 

[Krokodil]

Why don't you re-time all your trains to arrive 11 minutes late, then they would all be on time?

I've worked in train planning and even I think this has a certain logic to it!

All that is needed is public arrival times to be 11 minutes later than the working timetable times. Sorted!

Isn't that pretty much what they do at some terminals? Maybe not 11 minutes, but there certainly were some five minute offsets between the working timetable and the public one, and/or rather excessive time allowed to get from the last timing point to the terminal.

 

[vlad]

Can you remember just how long the Northern stopper was delayed? If it was a matter of a few minutes, then the 'explanation' is perhaps plausible. If it's somewhat longer than that, then why not let the Northern stopper depart Sheffield on time? Unless there's nowhere to loop it before it reaches New Mills South Jct.

I forget to be honest - I think it was about 10 minutes.

From memory there's nowhere for a passenger train to overtake on the Hope Valley Line but my reasoning is the TPX was late anyway so why not let trains around it run on time? I could give a number of examples of where planners don't do what I'd expect - but I'm not a planner or even in the rail industry so they definitely know better than I do!

 

[Sealink]

At Bournemouth a few years ago there was a small delay as "a bird had become entangled in the coupling equipment". Or words to that effect.
Poor bird.

 

[Sealink]

TfW’s favourite: ”More trains than usual needing repairs at the same time“

GWR have that a lot too.

 

[Sealink]

SWR also do this a lot - the status being completely unchanged.

13:58 Exeter St Davids to London Waterloo due 17:49 is being delayed at Exeter St Davids.
This is due to trespass on the railway.

Last Updated:21/08/2026 14:13

Due	Station	Status
13:58	Exeter St Davids	13:58
14:03	Exeter Central	14:03
14:08	Pinhoe	14:08

The actual times were (updated by me, from Real Time Trains)

Due	Station	Status
13:58	Exeter St Davids	14:17
14:03	Exeter Central	14:23
14:08	Pinhoe	14:29

 

[Jim Jehosofat]

Didn't the announcer at Liverpool Street have a list of excuses each with a number and when a train arrived late they threw a dice for the reason? Double six: Points failure Ilford!

 

[Mattplans]

The announcers at London Bridge could probably announce every delay as due to an infrastructure failure near Lewisham and be accurate.

 

[Merle Haggard]

Gerry Fiennes said in his (career - ending!) book that he once made an announcement on then lines of 'this train was delayed by management incompetance' and looked at the passing passengers for reaction. There was none.

Personally, and having commuted in the 1970s - 2000, when my train arrived very late I welcomed an apology - even if of doubtful validity - because it meant someone had noticed. When you get off a heavily-delayed train and walk out of theb station to complete silence one feels that no-one has noticed, and therefore no-one cares.

 

[ChiefPlanner]

At Bournemouth a few years ago there was a small delay as "a bird had become entangled in the coupling equipment". Or words to that effect.
Poor bird.

We had a delay on the Northampton line back in the day when 2x321 units were unable initially to couple in service due to a crushed bird in the couplings - sorted with the aid of a handy shoe paddle and gloves. (we had some excellent fitters to hand) , so genuine enough.......

 

[passenger 99]

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: 15 Aug 2026 ==



Not fake if its true. You might not like the fact that it is the case, but if trains are cancelled as there are not enough drivers available on the day, it's still true.

The fact that it’s true doesn’t make it a valid excuse. It is the train companies’ job to provide trains and crews. It is their job to run a level of overhead so that genuinely unexpected or unpredictable events can be coped with. If they can’t provide the basic things they’re being paid for they aren’t doing their job.

I don’t get paid for my job if I don’t deliver the goods. Why should northern rail? If I fail to plan for fairly routine occurrences then I am being negligent.

The frequency with which they use these excuses (surprisingly no driver available to take over at Oxford road! Happens every week!) show us that they could perfectly well predict they might happen and ought to have planned for it.

Too many trains under maintenance? Well fix them! It’s your job!

They’ve started using swans on the line this year. Never heard it before because it’s obviously ridiculous, but over the last couple of months they’ve used it repeatedly in different parts of the country. Today it was initially a dog on the line, then a swan, and now they’re cancelling half the trains between Liverpool and Manchester. Seriously? Just do your job. And the dead giveaway is when they change the excuse. Really, we all know that trains from Liverpool to Manchester get cancelled frequently because the companies don’t leave enough time for it to turn around, don’t have a spare train, and don’t pay overtime to the staff, so if anything goes wrong at all, all the trains get cancelled.

I go to work, I do my job, I wouldn’t get paid if I didn’t. I have to show up at work an hour early now because the trains are so unreliable, and my journey home (eg today) may well be padded by an hour because northern rail can’t be bothered to do their job, and I’m furious about it. Why do I keep handing over my money? Scumbags.

All of these excuses, even when they’re true, are lies. The real reason is always shareholders and profits.

 

[Watershed]

I go to work, I do my job, I wouldn’t get paid if I didn’t. I have to show up at work an hour early now because the trains are so unreliable, and my journey home (eg today) may well be padded by an hour because northern rail can’t be bothered to do their job, and I’m furious about it. Why do I keep handing over my money? Scumbags.

All of these excuses, even when they’re true, are lies. The real reason is always shareholders and profits.

I appreciate you're frustrated, and I've been there when I used to commute by train on an unreliable route. The delays feel like they just build.

But you'll get further if you aim your complaints towards the right places. Shareholders and profits have nothing to do with any of this, as virtually all train operators (including Northern) are publicly owned. So is the infrastructure (Network Rail).

There's a big issue in terms of the limited resources these organisations have to handle both routine and exceptional levels of disruption. I completely agree with you on that.

Ultimately a lot of the blame for these structural issues can be pinned on the government for short-sighted investment decisions (e.g. refusing to authorise extra platforms at Manchester Piccadilly) combined with promising the public unrealistic service improvements, which lead to a fragile and unreliable service.

It also doesn't help that they are pushing the train companies to minimise running costs because they essentially see railways as a subsidy and cost to be minimised, rather than a utility or societal benefit that should be maximised.

These are all things that I think you would do well to take up with your MP, but regardless of their political allegiance and whether or not they agree with what you're saying, it's unlikely that it will change much. It takes a herculean effort to enact even small changes in government policy, and here we are talking about fundamental views on transport funding and investment.

 

[CaptainHaddock]

I appreciate you're frustrated, and I've been there when I used to commute by train on an unreliable route. The delays feel like they just build.

But you'll get further if you aim your complaints towards the right places. Shareholders and profits have nothing to do with any of this, as virtually all train operators (including Northern) are publicly owned. So is the infrastructure (Network Rail).

There's a big issue in terms of the limited resources these organisations have to handle both routine and exceptional levels of disruption. I completely agree with you on that.

Ultimately a lot of the blame for these structural issues can be pinned on the government for short-sighted investment decisions (e.g. refusing to authorise extra platforms at Manchester Piccadilly) combined with promising the public unrealistic service improvements, which lead to a fragile and unreliable service.

It also doesn't help that they are pushing the train companies to minimise running costs because they essentially see railways as a subsidy and cost to be minimised, rather than a utility or societal benefit that should be maximised.

These are all things that I think you would do well to take up with your MP, but regardless of their political allegiance and whether or not they agree with what you're saying, it's unlikely that it will change much. It takes a herculean effort to enact even small changes in government policy, and here we are talking about fundamental views on transport funding and investment.

They’ve started using swans on the line this year. Never heard it before because it’s obviously ridiculous, but over the last couple of months they’ve used it repeatedly in different parts of the country. Today it was initially a dog on the line, then a swan, and now they’re cancelling half the trains between Liverpool and Manchester.

Swans on the line? Not heard that one before. Perhaps it was due to a cygnet failure?