Letters sent to Railtrack Ltd

[yorkie]

http://www.fitlads.net/tmp/railtrack.pdf

Here's a couple of choice entries:

Ms Pauline McGillivray
Enforcement Officer
Development & Regeneration Services
Glasgow City Council
229 George Street
GLASGOW
G1 1QU

6th of October 2004

Dear Madam,

PLANNING ENFORCEMENT NOTICE

We refer to your letter of the 23rd ult (Ref: DC/PMG/02/00605/EN and 04/00673/EN).

We thank you for the copy of a letter which was sent to your Chief Executive and note your comments that you “are unsure whether this letter has been sent from your offices, however, as it does not appear to be on official headed paper, there is dubiety over whether the letter is genuine”.

Unlike your profligate council, we have no intention of running up a large print bill to produce “official headed paper”. You are clearly not used to the disciplines of the private sector where we have to count every penny in order to maintain shareholder value.

We also wonder what the not inconsiderable number of supporters of the Rangers Football Club in Glasgow think of your choices of colour? Green and yellow is surely a somewhat insensitive and possibly sectarian choice.

Yours sincerely,

J White
Secretary

Brethertons
Solicitors
16 Church Street
Rugby
CV21 3PW

14th of April 2005

Dear Sirs,

LIAM STUART NEIL

We refer to your letter of the 17th of February 2005 intimating a claim against us on behalf of the above named client and we apologise for the delay in replying.

We note your averment that your client was electrocuted after swinging his legs against the 25kV power line whilst he was on the ledge of a footbridge leading across the main Euston to Manchester railway line and that he subsequently fell into a coal train underneath.

We note that he has suffered very serious burns below the waist, a broken arm and a fractured skull, has had numerous operations and much time in hospital, that he will have to wear pressure dressings for a period of at least two years and undergo physiotherapy, and that he may be mentally affected by the accident and require the assistance of a psychologist.

We note your claim that we were negligent and in breach of a statutory duty of care to the public at large and in particular to your client. We repudiate this claim in its entirety.

You state that it was well known in the area that children played on the footbridge and claim that warning signs should have been erected and/or that the parapet should have been made higher or a cage should have been erected.

If it was so well known in the area that children played there, we would have thought that any prudent and caring parent would have instructed their children not to trespass on railway property. It would seem that Ms Gleston failed to do so. One can only hope that young Liam has received a salutary lesson on the dangers of railway trespass and will not seek to repeat the experience.

In passing, we should note that his interference with the 25kV power supply will undoubtedly have caused delay to trains and inconvenience to railway customers as a result. Whilst his landing on a railway customer’s coal thereby converting it to slack will also not have been without cost.

In view of the fact that your client was only 13 at the time of the incident, it is unlikely that any further action will be taken against him either in respect of his criminal trespass or the damage caused by him to the railway infrastructure. He and his mother should consider him lucky to be alive and not be seeking to extract damages from those who are not responsible in any way for the predicament in which he finds himself.

Yours faithfully,

J White
Secretary

 

[455driver]

Wonderful

 

[CarterUSM]

Wonderful

I concur, absolutely fantastic pieces of prose. I wonder what the outcome of young liams claim was?

 

[yorkie]

Wonderful

I knew you'd like the 2nd one!

I found the link on uk.railway but it appears to have been removed from there now.

 

[ralphchadkirk]

I love the one about the cat in 2nd stage renal failure!

 

[richw]

i seen these on a FGW coffeeshop forum, and some of them were in my opinion hilarious!

 

[455driver]

Wonderful

I knew you'd like the 2nd one!

You know me so well

I have just read through all of them and all are funny but some had my in hysterics, absolutely brilliant.

 

[142094]

Sounds like some of the transport assessments I've seen.

"The development site is near to X railway station, which has connections to Sheffield, where a train to London St. Pancreas runs hourly."

 

[bnm]

Word of warning. Avoid the top level domain from the URL. Unless that sort of thing floats your boat!

 

[First class]

I do wonder how this link ended up on a gay 'meeting' website...

Nevertheless after scrubbing my history- a very entertaining read. It's the thought of the expressions the people reading these letters would have that makes me laugh.

 

[thefab444]

I do wonder how this link ended up on a gay 'meeting' website...

More worrying that Yorkie was on said website and posted a link to it on this forum, which I thought was intended to be family friendly?

Anyway, the letters were rather amusing.

 

[Z12XE]

They are brilliant, clearly an example of someone with too much time, but well done to them.

Most amusing ones are where they dont point out the error for trivial cases - for example

Southern Electric
Customer Service Centre
PO Box 7507
PERTH
PH1 3NT
8th of May 2006

Dear Sirs,

SUPPLY TO:
RAILTRACK XT METER CABINET, UXBRIDGE ROAD, SOUTHALL, MIDDLESEX.
CUSTOMER ACCOUNT NO: 71996 18016
REFERENCE: TARA/CM007D
Thank you for your recent letter and we note that you say that if we don’t pay for electricity
used, you may have to cut off the supply.
We do not require this supply and, as far as we are concerned, you may disconnect it.

Yours faithfully,

J White
Secretary

 

[devon_metro]

They are brilliant, clearly an example of someone with too much time, but well done to them.

Most amusing ones are where they dont point out the error for trivial cases - for example

Brilliant, hadn't seen that one when I had a browse through earlier

 

[Peter Mugridge]

I wonder if anyone ever actually did cut off the power at Southall after that?!


And if you're worried about the top level URL, you could always simply print off the .pdf and read the letters at your leisure. Come to think of it, it should be possible to save the .pdf anyway shouldn't it?

 

[jimrbrobinson]

That should carry a warning to view the content in work. My colleagues thought I'd gone completely stark-staring bonkers when I was nearly crying laughing at some of them - especially the poor cat!!!! Some howlers there and thanks for the entertainment. As funny as Russell Ash's comical names books, and they are VERY good!!!

 

[yorksrob]

More worrying that Yorkie was on said website and posted a link to it on this forum, which I thought was intended to be family friendly?

Anyway, the letters were rather amusing.

I might have to give this website a try - although I doubt I'd qualify as a "fitlad" in any meaningful sense of the term

 

[90019]

I might have to give this website a try - although I doubt I'd qualify as a "fitlad" in any meaningful sense of the term

Fatlads?


No bad thing IMO

 

[yorksrob]

Fatlads?


No bad thing IMO

All bought and paid for

 

[Geezertronic]

I might have to give this website a try - although I doubt I'd qualify as a "fitlad" in any meaningful sense of the term

Can't be any worse than an old chap who I suggested registered for a Hotmail account but apparently got a bit of a surprise when he went to Hotmale instead

 

[yorkie]

More worrying that Yorkie was on said website and posted a link to it on this forum, which I thought was intended to be family friendly?

Anyway, the letters were rather amusing.

More worrying, you can't read

I found the link on uk.railway but it appears to have been removed from there now.

The link is spreading rapidly and just because someone reads a PDF on a website, doesn't mean they endorse the content on the index page of that site.

 

[yorksrob]

The site itself would appear to encourage all manor of athletic pursuits

(I'll go now as I'm beginning to sound like the Village People!)

 

[37401]

fitlads.net? something your not telling us Yorkie