Leaving Home

[Starmill]

So, I'm leaving home at the end of the week! Not often you get to say that is it?

Frankly, I reeeeeealy don't want to go and I'm not so much scared as just worrying about every single little thing possible. I'm moving away to University in Leeds.

Anyone else done/doing similar recently? Any key pieces of advice?

 

[MidnightFlyer]

Sorry to hear about you having to move to Leeds. My thoughts are with you at this difficult time.

I'm doing the same in two weeks' time (not to Leeds though ) for uni. I feel indifferent to be honest, bring it on. Looking forward to the 'challenge' in the sense, bearing in mind I don't know how to use a washing machine and the most advanced thing I can cook is toast. Should be an interesting few months anyway!

 

[TheKnightWho]

So, I'm leaving home at the end of the week! Not often you get to say that is it?

Frankly, I reeeeeealy don't want to go and I'm not so much scared as just worrying about every single little thing possible. I'm moving away to University in Leeds.

Anyone else done/doing similar recently? Any key pieces of advice?

You'll be fine. I moved out last year to uni, and you'll be surprised how naturally your life adapts to the changes, to be honest. Plus you've got a load of other students around you in the same boat, I imagine (if you're living in halls), so you shouldn't end up completely stuck.

The hardest bit's actually getting used to not seeing your parents/home friends so much. That's a bit of a downer (well, with the latter, anyway...).

 

[burns20]

University is a great experience and one I'm glad I got to experience (Huddersfield). I was nervous my first night in halls but next day when you meet all your course mates you will be ok.

I've never looked back and now live on the opposite coast to my parents, that was 10 years ago!

 

[Trainfan344]

I move away to uni at Staffordshire this saturday, kinda excited but still nervous at the same time.

 

[Oswyntail]

From the perspective of one who did this over 40 years ago, and has sent three hapless victims off to the same ordeal, my main advice is to be true to yourself. The little lies we all tell to be "accepted" take years to throw off. And keep an eye on your money. But, most of all, enjoy yourself in whatever you do.

 

[Welshman]

Like the previous poster, I left home for university [as we called it in those days!] 45 years ago.

You'll probably feel terribly homesick for the first few weeks, but then find you're adapting to a new life, new friends, and broader horizons.

You will never forget home and parents, but when you return at Christmas, holidays, etc, you'll find you have a more mature relationship with them, and them with you, because you've "grown-up" and, hopefully, they've learned to let you go.

It is a big break, and I understand you feel rather daunted by it, but it is necessary.

And, sombre thought though it may be, it is the beginning of your trying to cope with the time when parents are no longer around.

 

[Starmill]

And it was all going so well!

Well, thanks to everyone for the nice words... but I think perhaps 'morbid' is more accurate than 'somber' at the end there Welshman!

 

[telstarbox]

Try to 'get involved' - talk to your flatmates, coursemates, join a society if you find one that interests you - this will make settling in much easier! Good luck. What are you studying?

 

[maniacmartin]

University is a handy stepping stone to fully moving out.

You will never look back! Freedom to spread your wings and control your own destiny!

 

[LexyBoy]

From the perspective of one who did this over 40 years ago, and has sent three hapless victims off to the same ordeal, my main advice is to be true to yourself. The little lies we all tell to be "accepted" take years to throw off. And keep an eye on your money. But, most of all, enjoy yourself in whatever you do.

This.

Plus, it works in reverse - you can drop those facades from school days which persist long after you've grown out of them.

 

[yorksrob]

From the perspective of one who did this over 40 years ago, and has sent three hapless victims off to the same ordeal, my main advice is to be true to yourself. The little lies we all tell to be "accepted" take years to throw off. And keep an eye on your money. But, most of all, enjoy yourself in whatever you do.

I wish I'd taken this advice fifteen years ago, but then again, I didn't have t'interweb at the time.

 

[TheKnightWho]

Try to 'get involved' - talk to your flatmates, coursemates, join a society if you find one that interests you - this will make settling in much easier! Good luck. What are you studying?

This. I really can't emphasise enough how important this is. Make friends outside of your hall/college/place of residence, and make friends and connections - you'll be amazed how useful it is to know a wide variety of people, whether it's just to socialise, organising an event or getting stuck into a society. The last thing you want to be doing is finding yourself with nothing to do; even work runs out eventually!

 

[Starmill]

The hardest bit's actually getting used to not seeing your parents/home friends so much. That's a bit of a downer (well, with the latter, anyway...).

I was going to reply to this with something along the lines of 'That's what TPE are there for!' - but I've realised it will be more a case of what the Caldervale Line is for. In keeping with that other student expectation of penny pinching.
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Sorry to hear about you having to move to Leeds. My thoughts are with you at this difficult time.

:roll: See above.
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Try to 'get involved' - talk to your flatmates, coursemates, join a society if you find one that interests you - this will make settling in much easier! Good luck. What are you studying?

Thank you "Economics with Transport Studies"

 

[90sWereBetter]

Moving to Ipswich for university on Saturday. Should be a great laugh.

 

[cjp]

There will be lots to do and your time will be full of fun fun fun but remember no one there really cares if you work, there will be no letters home to your folks if you do not attend lectures etc. You have to be mature enough to dicipline yourself to say no to nonstop fun and get stuck into your studies.

You may have been brill at school, you may have been able to coast along but university is an upwards gear change.

But it can be fun, a chance to experience new things, to learn even

Remember most in their first year will be just as nervous as you and it does no harm to say "hello this is scary/exciting/new/brill/cool/rubbish what do you think?"

 

[Welshman]

And it was all going so well!

Well, thanks to everyone for the nice words... but I think perhaps 'morbid' is more accurate than 'somber' at the end there Welshman!

In your first post, you said you were "worried about every single thing possible"

Now you say "And it was all going so well"

My response was to your first comment.

I'm sorry you found my final comment "morbid" rather than "sombre"

I was simply trying to say that your departure from home marks the beginning of your being less dependent upon parents, and learning to cope without them being continually at your side.

I speak from experience of one who has gone through it all.

 

[Jordy]

Best of luck, I was in the same situation 4 years ago (how time has flown...) - I spent a lot of my first week being antisocial and missing home, not everyone adapts the same way. But I grew to love it eventually! It may be a bit of a bumpy ride at first, but you'll soon get used to it - as I said, good luck!

 

[Starmill]

Nono, don't worry Welshman, I was just humorously blustering a bit there - "And it was all going to well" simply referred to my reading down the list of replies in the morning and seeing that they were all of a kind, except that while the last one was too, it contained a slightly darker reference, which you did acknowledge.

Point taken, but I'm not thinking about that now, and hopefully I shan't have to for many many years yet

 

[CC 72100]

So, I'm leaving home at the end of the week! Not often you get to say that is it?

Frankly, I reeeeeealy don't want to go and I'm not so much scared as just worrying about every single little thing possible. I'm moving away to University in Leeds.

I was in the same situation as you two years ago. Upon what can only be described as two great years of sixth form, I had to move down to uni, 100 miles away from family and friends. I'll happily admit that until Christmas I hated it.

To get through it I spoke to the family pretty much everyday, and felt at my best when doing things that I would do on a regular basis at home. In the end I came home for the weekend after 3 weeks, and came home after that every fortnight until Xmas. I felt at my worst when I was with strangers - when the people who I was with were a little bit similar to but in my mind no adequate replacement for the people I shared such good times with at sixth form. On my own I actually felt better, contrary to what everyone else says.

You need to go with an open mind. You're also going to meet people who are outside your normal social group back at home. You're also going to meet people who you think are complete knobs, but that is what life is like.

Personally I hated freshers week, as someone who is not the world's biggest drinker and who just doesn't 'get' clubbing, it really wasn't built for me. I think university and freshers week does cater for the extroverts more than the quieter people. But then again so does life.

Then classes started, which was a strange feeling for me. This is going to make me sound really cocky, but I was used to being the best in the class, which even if you don't actively think about at the time, you then find it strange when you no longer are. I faced the reality that I was perhaps mediocre or even below-average. I felt out of my depth and not 'worthy' of being at that uni doing those subjects (Despite getting A*A*A on a AAB offer).

So how did I cope with it all?

- Regular contact with back home
- Going back home often, although it's not viable for everyone
- Doing things I'd regularly do at home, like a good bit of football manager
- Getting back in to railways helped too (strangely enough!)
- Just plodding on with uni work

And last, but very much not least, a healthy supply of tea.

And just in case people thought that 2 years down the line things hadn't got better - I've been living in France for 4 weeks now on my year abroad. Haven't felt at all like I did during first term of first year at uni, despite being quite a few more miles away from back home and not seeing the family until November.

PM me if you want to discuss more.

Best of luck

 

[Welshman]

Nono, don't worry Welshman, I was just humorously blustering a bit there - "And it was all going to well" simply referred to my reading down the list of replies in the morning and seeing that they were all of a kind, except that while the last one was too, it contained a slightly darker reference, which you did acknowledge.

Point taken, but I'm not thinking about that now, and hopefully I shan't have to for many many years yet

No worries, starmill, and I also sincerely hope you don't have to concern yourself with that for many, many years to come.

I wish you all the best in your new life.

 

[Crossover]

I saw the thread title and thought "I bet this is starmill" :P

Although we've mentioned a few times before, I was in the same position (as with many here) 6 years (hock ago - having spent much of the summer utterly dreading the move (to Stafford)

Advice I had was to try to avoid going home for a few weeks to help settle in, which I did for about 7 weeks (oh how I can still remember that first train journey not knowing what the heck to do/where to go...but I digress...) and it was probably good advice.

As others have said, don't be a stranger...get to know people and try and put yourself out there. We were advised by uni staff that if we were in our room in halls and not up to anything in particular, have your door open as it is another way to socialise. That said, I know someone who did that at Nottingham Trent and got into trouble over it being a fire hazard or something, so probably best to check that one :P

The above also applies to Freshers week - I too am like AdamW and don't get the whole clubbing thing etc but I still went out to the Union a couple of times - didn't drink and didn't stay late, but got involved, and usually ended up back at the halls chatting to other neighbours - you'll soon find people similar...not everyone wants to go out getting hammered every night

Keep an open mind and give it time (I didn't get on with the first few weeks but it was definitely the best thing I ever did!) and see how it goes. Who knows, given you're coming to Yorkshire, you may have the misfortune of bumping into me from time to time
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I move away to uni at Staffordshire this saturday, kinda excited but still nervous at the same time.

Ooooo - which campus are you at? I was at the Stafford campus

 

[D365]

Good luck mate, I'll be doing the same in two years! Not long until I have to start choosing my options either. Also, I'm loving the new sig, have to agree

 

[Bevan Price]

Good luck. Remember that the main objective is to study, not to have fun or get drunk regularly.

See if there are any student clubs / groups with activities you might enjoy - there may even be a railway society. If not, and you meet other studemts interested in railways, you can always start your own society.

Be careful with your money, and be wary about trusting strangers - most will be decent people, but there is always a minority who may be aiming to cheat or rob you (or offer you illegal substances....).

If you haven't done this at home, you will need to get used to doing your own shopping, etc. For food, local markets (e.g. Leeds) can sometimes be cheaper than supermarkets - and they sometimes reduce the price of perishable food (fruit, etc.) in the last hour or two of trading on Saturdays.

 

[yorkie]

I'm sure you'll be fine - you're already, in relative terms, very independent as it is! (as in, not many people would have travelled as much as you have by this stage in their lives).

Now you're on the best side of the Pennines (), you can also join us at our Yorkshire meals? (incidentally, out of the 18 people posting in this thread, there are only 6 I've not met!)

 

[D365]

Good luck. Remember that the main objective is to study, not to have fun or get drunk regularly.

See if there are any student clubs / groups with activities you might enjoy - there may even be a railway society. If not, and you meet other students interested in railways, you can always start your own society.

Be careful with your money, and be wary about trusting strangers - most will be decent people, but there is always a minority who may be aiming to cheat or rob you (or offer you illegal substances....).

If you haven't done this at home, you will need to get used to doing your own shopping, etc. For food, local markets (e.g. Leeds) can sometimes be cheaper than supermarkets - and they sometimes reduce the price of perishable food (fruit, etc.) in the last hour or two of trading on Saturdays.

This sums a good lot up, I reckon.

I'm sure you'll be fine - you're already, in relative terms, very independent as it is! (as in, not many people would have travelled as much as you have by this stage in their lives).

Now you're on the best side of the Pennines (), you can also join us at our Yorkshire meals? (incidentally, out of the 18 people posting in this thread, there are only 6 I've not met!)

Any progress on the "London Meal"?

 

[Starmill]

I saw the thread title and thought "I bet this is starmill"

Ohhhh, he's sharp! Didn't look just underneath it then and see my username?
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---
Anyway, thanks everyone for the advice. Between this and some other stuff - and a bit of frantic last-minute shopping, I feel better now.

I have a sneaking suspicion that I don't really understand what Osywntail means... but then maybe that's a good thing in the sense that its a problem I won't have? Not sure...

Bevan Prince, I know there are a lot of people who wouldn't agree with that.
Presently I'm not one of them, but hell I'm not there yet. And are you suggesting the whole city is nothing but a rowdy cattle market!? And I had wondered if the University of Leeds has any members at present, but given the relative size against the forum, I'd guess not.

Crossover (whom I've spoken to a little on this already) and AdamW - I think I'm rather the same. I really don't drink... anything... at all. Well, Rubicon Mango juice (I'm actually addicted to it). So that will be interesting.

AdamW:

This is going to make me sound really cocky, but I was used to being the best in the class, which even if you don't actively think about at the time, you then find it strange when you no longer are. I faced the reality that I was perhaps mediocre or even below-average. I felt out of my depth and not 'worthy' of being at that uni doing those subjects

That actually already happened to me while I was doing my A-levels. Which I loathed - and didn't really like much of my 6th form experience either - so in that respect this can only be better!

And yorkie I guess I will have to develop my curry palate a bit And you are right; if anyone needs to visit a medium or large English or Welsh settlement I will probably have been there (but not looked around)... or able to tell them how to get there by train! How useful!

 

[IanD]

Good luck. Remember that the main objective is to study, not to have fun or get drunk regularly.

Things have changed since my day!

See if there are any student clubs / groups with activities you might enjoy - there may even be a railway society. If not, and you meet other studemts interested in railways, you can always start your own society.

Exactly what I did. Restarted the defunct Yorkshire Society for like minded Yorkshire and non-Yorkshire folk. Lost count of the number of brewery trips we had funded by the student union!

incidentally, out of the 18 people posting in this thread, there are only 6 I've not met!

And Yorkie's met me too!

 

[AlexS]

Take everything as you find it and stop worrying as soon as possible. I went to Uni, loved the life but found I was a crap student (I spent significantly more time on rail rovers than in the lecture hall) and dropped out after my first year. Whatever will be, will be, try your best and you will certainly find someone to hang out with as well.

Even if it doesn't go to plan, despite the doom and gloom, there's always an alternative. I dropped out in 2008, as all the recession business was getting nasty, managed to find work in short succession, and now am happily plodding along on the railways on £20k plus per year.

If you are good at taking things as you find them, nothing will defeat you properly

 

[Crossover]

I'm sure you'll be fine - you're already, in relative terms, very independent as it is! (as in, not many people would have travelled as much as you have by this stage in their lives).

I said much the same. As alluded to earlier (and in other threads to be fair) I had never been on a train on my own before I came home from uni for the first time. Hell, I think the furthest I'd generally gotten on my own would be into Leeds by bus hock: (probably a little further away by car, but usually running errands more than anything else)

I'd have never considered going off to London or Wales for the day, for example!

Ohhhh, he's sharp! Didn't look just underneath it then and see my username?

It was on the home page and just showed the last poster
NEXT!