Language Mangling

[Deepgreen]

Sounds like a friendly bloke to me. Wasting his time with you though clearly!

Probably a lovely person; just imparting unnecessary and inaccurate information, which all adds to the growing general indifference to the important bits by so many people. It's unfortunate that all one hears from so many on-train staff these days are poorly-repeated versions of the recorded announcements. All well-intentioned no doubt, but pointless. If it is thought to be useful to have the guard, for example, make 'live' announcements to reassure passengers that a human being is aboard, then have them simply say where they are in the train, etc., rather than repeat (and often get wrong in the process) the existing information.

 

[185]

If all announcements were the same, we would have a very boring railway full of automatic announcements resulting in ones like ATWs angry 175 announcer / mispronouncer.

I wish the pedants would just station stop it with they're grammar complaints. .

 

[Deepgreen]

If all announcements were the same, we would have a very boring railway full of automatic announcements resulting in ones like ATWs angry 175 announcer / mispronouncer.

I wish the pedants would just station stop it with they're grammar complaints. .

If it's pedantic to want (and be told by the TOCs that I should expect) accurate and useful information, then I'm a proud pedant! I would far rather have boring and correct information than 'ad-libbed' and wrong stuff. What I would really like is far less audio 'burbling', as FGW claimed they were about to ensure a couple of years ago in their supposed rationalisation of on-board messages (which has yet to emerge in my part of the world at least).

 

[swt class 450]

Another pointless excessively long automatic announcement which plays at least once every five minutes at Gatwick Airport is.

"May we have your attention please. This is the CCTV monitoring centre. Passengers are requested to please stand well away from the platform edge at all times while awaiting the arrival of your service. Please stand well away from the platform edge. Thank you."

Which just seems very unnecessary as most passengers are very unlikely to listen to and take any notice of extra long announcements like this.

 

[Bobandirus]

One on train announcement that always seems redundantly repetitive to me is when South West trains set of to the penultimate station. Heading towards Waterloo, for example, you get
‘Welcome aboard this South West trains service to London Waterloo, calling at Clapham Junction and London Waterloo. The next station is Clapham Junction.’
While I can see how this avoids ambiguity (There may be an unannounced stop, I guess?) it seems very awkwardly phrased.

 

[Groningen]

In the Netherlands some conductors say we approach town A. Not sure it seems whether we aslo arrive there.

 

[Doctor Fegg]

"Advanced tickets".

No. Advanced tickets are those involving Section 19(c) and routing via Finsbury Park on a Carlisle-Lockerbie ticket and quartering the Central Line. You mean "advance tickets".

 

[GatwickDepress]

"Advanced tickets".

No. Advanced tickets are those involving Section 19(c) and routing via Finsbury Park on a Carlisle-Lockerbie ticket and quartering the Central Line. You mean "advance tickets".

This is probably the only one out of the entire thread that gets my goat. It's not helped that quite a few ticket offices - Edinburgh Waverley is/was one - use 'advanced' on their signage.

 

[mirodo]

There are a number of announcers on VTEC who remind customers in the quiet coaches that telephone calls should only be made in the vestible at the end of the carriage.

 

[DynamicSpirit]

One on train announcement that always seems redundantly repetitive to me is when South West trains set of to the penultimate station. Heading towards Waterloo, for example, you get
‘Welcome aboard this South West trains service to London Waterloo, calling at Clapham Junction and London Waterloo. The next station is Clapham Junction.’
While I can see how this avoids ambiguity (There may be an unannounced stop, I guess?) it seems very awkwardly phrased.

I agree that seems repetitive. I'd have thought the time to specifically announce the next station is at the 'we are now approaching Clapham Junction' time.

Incidentally I was on SWT today and was reminded of another language-mangling issue. Their announcement sounds to me like it's actually saying 'welcome aboard the SouthWestTrains service to X'. It should surely be this, not the.

 

[Deepgreen]

I agree that seems repetitive. I'd have thought the time to specifically announce the next station is at the 'we are now approaching Clapham Junction' time.

Incidentally I was on SWT today and was reminded of another language-mangling issue. Their announcement sounds to me like it's actually saying 'welcome aboard the SouthWestTrains service to X'. It should surely be this, not the.

It should be 'train' rather than "service" in any case.

Harking back to my GWR issue at Redhill, rather than simply (badly) trying to repeat the recorded messages, one really useful thing that the guards could announce is that the first class is declassified on the stopping trains, as there is never any indication of this to those not 'in the know'.

 

[aar0]

It should be 'train' rather than "service" in any case.

Risk of further garbling there though surely - "This South West Trains Train..."

I'm sure I've heard "This train is for London Waterloo. The next station is London Water. This train will terminate at London Waterloo". Makes you want to ask where it is the train will be going...

 

[Calthrop]

I'm enjoying this thread. How did railspeak end up with "all change" meaning "get off the train", even at stations where there are no other public transport services to change onto?

Are they expecting me to remove all my clothing and replace it in honour of our arrival?

Late to the party, with this; but I have the strong impression that rail staff have been saying "all change", including in this context / circumstances, since Victorian times. I'd guess that it was found to be handy (and concise) all-purpose "verbal shorthand" to ensure that all passengers on the train which was travelling no further, did get off said train. It could be claimed that they were "changing", in the sense of switching to another means of movement -- even if that were walking from the station to their house.

 

[Sprinter153]

It'd be great fun, I think, to visit the workplaces of some of our most hardcore railway pedants and relentlessly pick holes in every minute aspect of their job.

Next time I work a Redhill stopper I'll be sure to brush up on my Received Pronunciation and bring my copy of English Grammar In Use

 

[Mr Fizz]

If i stand 'behind' the yellow line but then turn and face the other way, am i still behind it, or in front?

 

[fairysdad]

Risk of further garbling there though surely - "This South West Trains Train..."

I'm sure I've heard "This train is for London Waterloo. The next station is London Water. This train will terminate at London Waterloo". Makes you want to ask where it is the train will be going...

The automatic announcement says 'Welcome aboard this South West Trains service to London Waterloo Only.' Much more annoying is when leaving Waterloo and the auto-announcer does her thing, then the guard comes onto the PA and repeats exactly the same information, often word-for-word, that Robo-PA has just said...

One on train announcement that always seems redundantly repetitive to me is when South West trains set of to the penultimate station. Heading towards Waterloo, for example, you get
‘Welcome aboard this South West trains service to London Waterloo, calling at Clapham Junction and London Waterloo. The next station is Clapham Junction.’
While I can see how this avoids ambiguity (There may be an unannounced stop, I guess?) it seems very awkwardly phrased.

Approaching Exeter is funnier: 'Welcome aboard this South West Trains service to Exeter St Davids, calling at Exeter Central and Exeter St Davids. The next station is Exeter Central.'

I have the feeling we're in Exeter, Toto...

 

[507 001]

Northern's 319s have to be one of the worst offenders for superfluous announcements. And they've just made them worse!

Say we are approaching my local station of Huyton, the following announcement will be played...

'We are now approaching Huyton, if you are leaving the train here at Huyton, please make sure you take all of your personal belongings and hand luggage with you. Please mind the step between the train and the platform'

It does this on the approach to every station. Every. Single. One.

What makes it worse is that there is far more important information to be announced about Huyton, such as change here for services to Wigan/Preston/Manchester Victoria etc. It doesn't even bother announcing that.

We are now also treated to 'This is the northern service to Liverpool Lime Street, the next stop will be Roby. If you boarded this train from a station with ticket buying facilities then in line with the national conditions of carriage we will only be able to sell you a full price ticket. You must purchase your ticket before boarding the train.'

Put it all together and she literally doesn't stop wibbling all the way from Edge Hill to about St Helens Central or Rainhill.

And she has the most dreary voice I've ever heard.

It is absolutely ridiculous.

 

[Soyyo]

Northern's 319s have to be one of the worst offenders for superfluous announcements. And they've just made them worse!

Say we are approaching my local station of Huyton, the following announcement will be played...

'We are now approaching Huyton, if you are leaving the train here at Huyton, please make sure you take all of your personal belongings and hand luggage with you. Please mind the step between the train and the platform'

It does this on the approach to every station. Every. Single. One.

What makes it worse is that there is far more important information to be announced about Huyton, such as change here for services to Wigan/Preston/Manchester Victoria etc. It doesn't even bother announcing that.

We are now also treated to 'This is the northern service to Liverpool Lime Street, the next stop will be Roby. If you boarded this train from a station with ticket buying facilities then in line with the national conditions of carriage we will only be able to sell you a full price ticket. You must purchase your ticket before boarding the train.'

Put it all together and she literally doesn't stop wibbling all the way from Edge Hill to about St Helens Central or Rainhill.

And she has the most dreary voice I've ever heard.

It is absolutely ridiculous.

Totally agree. No chance of passengers having a relaxing journey with this constant drivel.

 

[Phil.]

Totally agree. No chance of passengers having a relaxing journey with this constant drivel.

The problem is, is that when something important is broadcast no-one will listen. A few years ago I travelled on a Waterloo to Windsor train to - can't remember - but after about Ashford I'd switched off to the non-stop barrage of announcements. This was my undoing as I missed the one about only the front four coaches will be at the platform. I finished up in Windsor catching the train back to wherever it was.

 

[anme]

The problem is, is that when something important is broadcast no-one will listen. A few years ago I travelled on a Waterloo to Windsor train to - can't remember - but after about Ashford I'd switched off to the non-stop barrage of announcements. This was my undoing as I missed the one about only the front four coaches will be at the platform. I finished up in Windsor catching the train back to wherever it was.

This is the critical point. Too many announcements are not only annoying, they also mean that people "tune out" and miss the ones that actually matter.

 

[CyrusWuff]

Northern's 319s have to be one of the worst offenders for superfluous announcements. And they've just made them worse!

Say we are approaching my local station of Huyton, the following announcement will be played...

'We are now approaching Huyton, if you are leaving the train here at Huyton, please make sure you take all of your personal belongings and hand luggage with you. Please mind the step between the train and the platform'

It does this on the approach to every station. Every. Single. One.

It's worth noting that PTEs will often specify what announcements should be made when you're on their patch and they send out Mystery Shoppers to make sure they're being done correctly. If memory serves, Merseytravel are stricter than TfGM in this respect (or it could be the other way round).

 

[urbophile]

And she has the most dreary voice I've ever heard.

And a weird accent. Estuary with a hint of Lancashire.

 

[J-2739]

Northern's 319s have to be one of the worst offenders for superfluous announcements. And they've just made them worse!

Say we are approaching my local station of Huyton, the following announcement will be played...

'We are now approaching Huyton, if you are leaving the train here at Huyton, please make sure you take all of your personal belongings and hand luggage with you. Please mind the step between the train and the platform'

It does this on the approach to every station. Every. Single. One.

What makes it worse is that there is far more important information to be announced about Huyton, such as change here for services to Wigan/Preston/Manchester Victoria etc. It doesn't even bother announcing that.

We are now also treated to 'This is the northern service to Liverpool Lime Street, the next stop will be Roby. If you boarded this train from a station with ticket buying facilities then in line with the national conditions of carriage we will only be able to sell you a full price ticket. You must purchase your ticket before boarding the train.'

Put it all together and she literally doesn't stop wibbling all the way from Edge Hill to about St Helens Central or Rainhill.

And she has the most dreary voice I've ever heard.

It is absolutely ridiculous.

I know, she sounds like she only has half a soul in herself. Just like every North of England PIS announcer I suppose.

 

[507 001]

It's worth noting that PTEs will often specify what announcements should be made when you're on their patch and they send out Mystery Shoppers to make sure they're being done correctly. If memory serves, Merseytravel are stricter than TfGM in this respect (or it could be the other way round).

That argument doesn't stand though when you take into account the fact that there are two TOCs with auto announcements within the merseytravel PTE area, Northern and Merseyrail. Merseyrail's announcements are far, far better.

 

[PR1Berske]

I agree about the Northern woman. Those announcements about "national conditions of carriage" are enough to send anyone to sleep.

 

[asylumxl]

It seems to me this topic has drifted from verbose announcements to pointless ones.

So, with that in mind, I nominate any announcements on escalators or stairs (such as St Pancras LL escalators or Plymouth's stairs).

 

[Soyyo]

It seems to me this topic has drifted from verbose announcements to pointless ones.

So, with that in mind, I nominate any announcements on escalators or stairs (such as St Pancras LL escalators or Plymouth's stairs).

"Please be careful when using the escalators at Lime Street Station." - every 15 seconds.

 

[urbophile]

I know, she sounds like she only has half a soul in herself. Just like every North of England PIS announcer I suppose.

****ed off I suppose. (the puritanical software must have inserted the asterisks but you get my drift.)

 

[Arglwydd Golau]

As I was about to leave Euston yesterday on a Voyager to Chester 'Anyone not travelling please return to the platform edge as this train is ready to depart'.
Surely 'return to the platform' should suffice, and is more accurate (and safer.)

 

[EM2]

It seems to me this topic has drifted from verbose announcements to pointless ones.

So, with that in mind, I nominate any announcements on escalators or stairs (such as St Pancras LL escalators or Plymouth's stairs).

Since announcements were introduced, accidents have dropped by over 20%.