Information phrases which grate

[Howardh]

It seems crazy to me that conductors are repeating the automatic announcements. There are far too many announcements both on trains and stations. With some conductors and some stations its a constant stream of announcement. People eventually switch off, and then if there needs to be an announcement made thats important, people don't listen. Its about time these announcements were revised, to provide passengers with important facts, and made as concise and short as possible.

Yes I agree, to many announcements and they just fly over you. That's what they have done at airports, cut down the announcements, except you occasionally get the announcement that there will be no announcements! On the minus side, the screens are so tiny and difficult to find (and see unless you have perfect eyesight) my flight's gate being announced would be fantastic!! Happily these days the pax can find the info on their phone - but I do miss that huge info board they had at Manchester Airport alongside the chandaleers! *Sighs*

So why railways can't pipe down a bit I'll never know.

 

[urbophile]

Another one is "This train is now approaching Orpington. If you're alighting at Orpington, please remember to take all your belongings with you".

This infers that for anyone getting off at a later station, taking all their belongings with them might not be so important.

It might imply that, but it doesn't infer!
At least this one didn't say 'personal' belongings. All my belongings are impersonal.

 

[Bikeman78]

Although not really a grating announcement and more for the London Underground section, is it just me that thinks that on the Victoria Line stock, when the recorded announcement says "... Doors will open on the left hand side", that I have some of the lyrics of Musical Youth's "Pass the Dutchie" immediately come into my mind?

Has anyone else thought the same thing when travelling on the Vic Line?

Oh yes, every time!

 

[Oxfordblues]

My pet niggle is the refreshment trolley and buffet-car announcements promoting unhealthy junk food and fizzy, sugary drinks. Nowadays many passengers struggle to squeeze into seats designed 20-plus years ago when the average punter was a lot slimmer. Now here they are being bombarded with encouragement to eat fatty foods such as crisps, biscuits, cakes and chocolate, drink intoxicating but tasteless lager, and consume teeth-rotting confectionery.

In my separate, parallel universe the trolleys and buffets would promote healthy snacks such as celery sticks, watercress, bananas, apples and pears, with fruit-juice to wash it all down. It'll never happen of course, so this is just another pointless rant!

 

[MattRat]

My pet niggle is the refreshment trolley and buffet-car announcements promoting unhealthy junk food and fizzy, sugary drinks. Nowadays many passengers struggle to squeeze into seats designed 20-plus years ago when the average punter was a lot slimmer. Now here they are being bombarded with encouragement to eat fatty foods such as crisps, biscuits, cakes and chocolate, drink intoxicating but tasteless lager, and consume teeth-rotting confectionery.

In my separate, parallel universe the trolleys and buffets would promote healthy snacks such as celery sticks, watercress, bananas, apples and pears, with fruit-juice to wash it all down. It'll never happen of course, so this is just another pointless rant!

And who would eat the healthy food. As a business, they aim to make money, and healthy food doesn't pay. Should that change? Yes, but they didn't start the problem.

 

[physics34]

My pet niggle is the refreshment trolley and buffet-car announcements promoting unhealthy junk food and fizzy, sugary drinks. Nowadays many passengers struggle to squeeze into seats designed 20-plus years ago when the average punter was a lot slimmer. Now here they are being bombarded with encouragement to eat fatty foods such as crisps, biscuits, cakes and chocolate, drink intoxicating but tasteless lager, and consume teeth-rotting confectionery.

In my separate, parallel universe the trolleys and buffets would promote healthy snacks such as celery sticks, watercress, bananas, apples and pears, with fruit-juice to wash it all down. It'll never happen of course, so this is just another pointless rant!

People especially kids ate worse food in the 70s and 80s and weren't fat. Its lack of exercise and central heating that is causing the fat pandemic. Anyway, thats another subject.

 

[Inversnecky]

"please mind the gap" bugs me, because there shouldn't be a gap in the first place!

I’m reminded of ‘Disco’ Steve’s ditty, ‘Mind the Gap’, for the Dundee Station YouTube video.

Once seen, never forgotten….

 

[Zontar]

"please mind the gap" bugs me, because there shouldn't be a gap in the first place!

Ever been to earlstown?

 

[MattRat]

Ever been to earlstown?

Sadly not, so you'll have to elaborate.

 

[Horizon22]

My pet niggle is the refreshment trolley and buffet-car announcements promoting unhealthy junk food and fizzy, sugary drinks. Nowadays many passengers struggle to squeeze into seats designed 20-plus years ago when the average punter was a lot slimmer. Now here they are being bombarded with encouragement to eat fatty foods such as crisps, biscuits, cakes and chocolate, drink intoxicating but tasteless lager, and consume teeth-rotting confectionery.

In my separate, parallel universe the trolleys and buffets would promote healthy snacks such as celery sticks, watercress, bananas, apples and pears, with fruit-juice to wash it all down. It'll never happen of course, so this is just another pointless rant!

Not really relevant to a thread about information phrases though is it. Catering trolleys do have fruit in them too but also go with where the market is.

 

[Zontar]

Sadly not, so you'll have to elaborate.

It's just got sections of horrendous curves that create these massive unavailable gaps. I heard that Pacers weren't allowed on that route because they created even more of a gap. You could literally fall through it. Tried to get a photo but couldn't find one. One of those where you have to see it to believe it.

 

[SCDR_WMR]

I'm afraid you've lost me with UDS. Aside from the DfT, who is in favour of all this? The majority of passengers seem to be engrossed in looking at their mobile or have earphones so they can't hear. It's surprising how many people get caught out at the short platforms on the circle line, for example, despite them being clearly announced.

Sorry, yes it's Unit Deselect - shortening an 8-car 350 set down to a 4-car for stations that don't fit 8.
But yes, majority of passengers ignore part/all of announcements full stop these days

 

[_toommm_]

It's just got sections of horrendous curves that create these massive unavailable gaps. I heard that Pacers weren't allowed on that route because they created even more of a gap. You could literally fall through it. Tried to get a photo but couldn't find one. One of those where you have to see it to believe it.

Anything with doors at a third is pretty bad through platform four. A normal sized adult can easily fit through the gap, with 150s being the worst offender IIRC.

 

[MattRat]

It's just got sections of horrendous curves that create these massive unavailable gaps. I heard that Pacers weren't allowed on that route because they created even more of a gap. You could literally fall through it. Tried to get a photo but couldn't find one. One of those where you have to see it to believe it.

Sounds like ripping it all out and replacing it straighter would actually be a sensible move for once.

 

[Cowley]

It would be good if we could try and get back on topic from here please.

 

[RH Liner]

It would be good if we could try and get back on topic from here please.

Well, that’s shut everybody up

 

[py_megapixel]

It would be good if we could try and get back on topic from here please.

Was that an instruction, or an example of a phrase that grates?

 

[Cowley]

Was that an instruction, or an example of a phrase that grates?

I don’t know? It’s gone a bit meta.

 

[MattRat]

I don’t know? It’s gone a bit meta.

It's not so much a phrase, but meta is a word that can be grating, considering most people use it wrong....

Thankfully, not you of course.

 

[Nova1]

Does anyone else travel with West Midlands Railway and sometimes get to listen to a really irritating announcement along the lines of "due to train crew shortages, services along this line will be disrupted until the end of the day"

I really hate that the recording sounds like it was thrown together at short notice (even though they use the same announcement all the time), and I really hate it when it plays just a few minutes before my on time, running as booked train pulls in...

 

[MattRat]

Does anyone else travel with West Midlands Railway and sometimes get to listen to a really irritating announcement along the lines of "due to train crew shortages, services along this line will be disrupted until the end of the day"

I really hate that the recording sounds like it was thrown together at short notice (even though they use the same announcement all the time), and I really hate it when it plays just a few minutes before my on time, running as booked train pulls in...

You are probably right, considering Merseyrail at least has the decency to tell you which lines are affected (and luckily the ones I use aren't).

 

[trainophile]

I hate it when an announcement starts (particularly one starting e.g. "this information is for passengers waiting on platform 4...") just as a DMU either fires up or chugs in right next to where you're standing, completely obliterating the rest of the announcement. Birmingham New Street is particularly bad for that, being underground which amplifies the train noise. Often results in people milling around asking eachother if they heard it and was it important.

 

[MattRat]

I hate it when an announcement starts (particularly one starting e.g. "this information is for passengers waiting on platform 4...") just as a DMU either fires up or chugs in right next to where you're standing, completely obliterating the rest of the announcement. Birmingham New Street is particularly bad for that, being underground which amplifies the train noise. Often results in people milling around asking eachother if they heard it and was it important.

I think part of the problem is the lines are electrified in that area (Birmingham), and yet you still get diesels passing through when it should only really be electric and bi-modes there.

 

[Stigy]

Not sure if they still use it, but SWR used to have on their PIS scrolling along (which in itself was ridiculous as it was such a long statement)

“If you are going to ‘X’, ‘Y’ and ‘Z’ you will need to get off from the front 8 coaches of the train because these stations have short platforms”

It could have done with general re-wording, but what got to me was the X Y and Z bit. Passengers will be going to one or the other, not all three.

Even saying “Customers for X, Y and Z will need to alight from the front 8 coaches” would be been better.

 

[Parallel]

Not sure if they still use it, but SWR used to have on their PIS scrolling along (which in itself was ridiculous as it was such a long statement)

“If you are going to ‘X’, ‘Y’ and ‘Z’ you will need to get off from the front 8 coaches of the train because these stations have short platforms”

It could have done with general re-wording, but what got to me was the X Y and Z bit. Passengers will be going to one or the other, not all three.

Even saying “Customers for X, Y and Z will need to alight from the front 8 coaches” would be been better.

This is the same company that have ‘Change at Southampton Central AND stations to Portsmouth, Bath Spa, Bristol and Cardiff’.

They also advise you change at Oxford for Bicester Town. It’s been Bicester Village for years!

 

[dovgopol]

Please ensure that you have all your belongings with you.

oh yes, I laugh aaaall the time. I imagine how to take all the necessary things))

 

[SCDR_WMR]

oh yes, I laugh aaaall the time. I imagine how to take all the necessary things))

And yet it's a very regular occurrence that belongings are left on trains

 

[py_megapixel]

And yet it's a very regular occurrence that belongings are left on trains

Surely a sign that the announcements are not working?

 

[Mcr Warrior]

Surely a sign that the announcements are not working?

Or that some folk are just plain forgetful.

Sure that most of us will, at some time, have left some personal belonging(s) on a train, over the course of several thousands of journeys.

 

[py_megapixel]

Or that some folk are just plain forgetful.

Indeed.