Information phrases which grate

[SCDR_WMR]

The word 'alight' is used as it can be incorrect to use the term 'change' when the service or destination you're talking about is not from the station you are arriving into. I.e. arriving into Moor Street where you change for services from New Street.

Also, the 'step off the train before removing baggage/pushchairs' is a safety announcement, one which, if listened to more often, would prevent a lot of PTI incidents.

Although a lot of these announcements may seem annoying to you, either to TOC specifically asks conductors to make them (gaps/baggage/new st services) or are there for the safety or security of all passengers on board.

London Midland had a glossary of terms you couldn't/had to use.

Personally I'd rather annoy 1 person on each train I work than have to deal with missed stops/PTI incidents.

 

[45517]

There's one announcer on LNER who insists on trying to impress us with his phonetic alphabet - 'If you have reservations in Coach C for Charlie' , 'F for Foxtrot' etc.
Can't imagine it was included in the training.

 

[_toommm_]

There's one announcer on LNER who insists on trying to impress us with his phonetic alphabet - 'If you have reservations in Coach C for Charlie' , 'F for Foxtrot' etc.
Can't imagine it was included in the training.

That’s not too bad. On a rubbish PA, B can sound like C can sound like D etc.

 

[Pigeon]

Although a lot of these announcements may seem annoying to you, either to TOC specifically asks conductors to make them (gaps/baggage/new st services) or are there for the safety or security of all passengers on board.

Ah yes, I don't think those have been mentioned yet. Announcements which talk about themselves being "for the safety and security of all passengers on board" make me want to stab someone. Especially whensince it is blatantly obvious that they are merely using "safety" as an excuse because it is a word that automatically makes anyone trying to argue against the proposition look like a psychopath, and "sorry but we have to say this because of some drivelling nanny-state regulation" would be much more honest.

 

[45517]

That’s not too bad. On a rubbish PA, B can sound like C can sound like D etc.

Agreed, but in this case the PA has been loud and clear. Any lack of clarity is caused by the high speed of the announcement.

 

[43096]

Ah yes, I don't think those have been mentioned yet. Announcements which talk about themselves being "for the safety and security of all passengers on board" make me want to stab someone. Especially whensince it is blatantly obvious that they are merely using "safety" as an excuse because it is a word that automatically makes anyone trying to argue against the proposition look like a psychopath, and "sorry but we have to say this because of some drivelling nanny-state regulation" would be much more honest.

This.

The current example is about wearing masks "for your and other passengers safety". It isn't. It is - if you want to believe masks work - about health.

 

[trainophile]

Announcements about cancellations or delays that end with "we apologise for any inconvenience this may cause". OF COURSE it's going to cause inconvenience, there's no "may" about it!

 

[adrock1976]

The "see it say it sorted" is the one I really hate. But the nanny state one's like "due to today's wet weather please take care on the platform" and "due to todays warm weather please carry a bottle of water with you" I don't need to be told how to behave in wet or warm weather I am a grown adult and not f$#@ing stupid. But If I chose to carry a bottle of water what do I do with it, you haven't informed me to drink from said bottle.

Tel

Before the refurbishment works at Glasgow Queen Street, the stairs to the low level platforms (the oldest surburban underground railway) used to play the wet weather alerts.

After a short while, either a water leak or a speaker cable came loose at some point and it was just static crackling noise that would play.

 

[3rd rail land]

London Undergrounds's current fad for "severe delays on the <whatever> line due to train cancellations".

It doesn't explain the delay at all. Train cancellations are a knock on effect of the real cause of the delays which is a shortage staff due to the ongoing health pandemic.

 

[Oxfordblues]

I remember at Portmadoc Harbour, where there was only one platform and every train went to Tan-y-Bwlch, a young enthusiast was given the job of announcing each departure over the Tannoy. Totally pointless, but it was no doubt something he always wanted to do!

 

[The exile]

Announcements about cancellations or delays that end with "we apologise for any inconvenience this may cause". OF COURSE it's going to cause inconvenience, there's no "may" about it!

... but not necessarily to everyone listening, and it seems that nowadays we're not allowed to assume that people will not be able to work out for themselves whether something actually applies to them (remember "Ladies and Gentlemen"?). The forty minute delay that means I am late for an interview may have meant that you managed to catch a train you would otherwise have missed or the person next to me is now going to have their 50 minutes' getting cold and wet in a bus "shelter" reduced to 10.
Puts me in mind of the announcement I can remember apologising for the 5 minute early arrival (presumably because it meant we'd have nothing to moan about!)

 

[mrcheek]

Announcements about cancellations or delays that end with "we apologise for any inconvenience this may cause". OF COURSE it's going to cause inconvenience, there's no "may" about it!

not necessarily.

Once or twice, Ive been able to catch a delayed service, which I would otherwise have missed, rather than having a long scheduled wait for the next one! Very convenient for me!

 

[Requeststop]

Any announcements in which the speaker uses the words "Ter" and "Fer" instead of "To" and "For". It irritates me intensely. Unfortunately it's becoming all to common now that even our PM "BJ" says it all the time and it is now prevalent even on Radio 4. It is seemingly spreading from Estuary English and has reached the North of England and Bristol. I'm dreading the day when I'll hear the on board announcement
" Fer trains ter Looe change at Liskeard; Fer services ter Newquay change at Par; Fer trains ter Falmuf, change at Truro; Fer trains to St Ives change at St Erth". Arrrrgggghhhh!

 

[trainophile]

Any announcements in which the speaker uses the words "Ter" and "Fer" instead of "To" and "For". It irritates me intensely. Unfortunately it's becoming all to common now that even our PM "BJ" says it all the time and it is now prevalent even on Radio 4. It is seemingly spreading from Estuary English and has reached the North of England and Bristol. I'm dreading the day when I'll hear the on board announcement
" Fer trains ter Looe change at Liskeard; Fer services ter Newquay change at Par; Fer trains ter Falmuf, change at Truro; Fer trains to St Ives change at St Erth". Arrrrgggghhhh!

Is that not just the Cornish dialect?

 

[Horizon22]

Plrase use all the doors: there are twenty on this side alone - spare a thought for when we had EPBs - a ten car would have had 89.

Move down the platform - I'd rather wait here near the exit, because that's where people are getting off the train. (And if I do move down, you'll probably give the Right Away before I've got to the next door).

Yes but the amount of people failing to board the front 4 coaches of a 12-car train whilst the middle is really rather full leads to delays and passenger discomfort. I personally think many passengers might prefer a bit more space for 20 minutes and have a 1 minute longer walk at their destination!

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: 24 Dec 2021 ==

Is that not just the Cornish dialect?

Sounds more like a Londoner to me that doesn't vocalise "th" fully (in the Falmouth example) but could be Cornish too. Not sure differing dialects / accents are information phrases though!

 

[CHAPS2034]

" Fer trains ter Looe change at Liskeard; Fer services ter Newquay change at Par; Fer trains ter Falmuf, change at Truro; Fer trains to St Ives change at St Erth". Arrrrgggghhhh!

Surely St Erf....

trainophile said:
Is that not just the Cornish dialect?

The only bit of Cornish in this is "Arrrrgggghhhh!"

 

[trainophile]

I suppose when they are saying it all day in day out it does become a bit parrot-like and I don't blame them relaxing their enunciation so long as they are understandable.

I feel sorry for guards on trains which habitually have stops where the platform is shorter than the train, and they have to continually announce for people to make sure they move to the appropriate part if they wish to "alight" (sorry) at the next stop!

 

[Skimpot flyer]

The posh lady with a lisp on SWR trains
"Swee it, Sway it, Sthorted"

Theres also the one on Thameslink (Same person?) Like she cant believe what shes reading
"This train calls at London City ThamesliNK?, FarringdON? London St PanCRAS? And West HampstEAD?

And ‘this train is now arriving at BRIGHTON?’ like it was supposed to be at somewhere completely different

 

[trainophile]

Is it SW whose automated announcements always leave a nanosecond too short between "calling at" and listing all the station names, also running too close together? Makes it obvious it's not a real person!

 

[Inversnecky]

When we started being called ‘customers’ instead of ‘passengers’, it was a portent that the end times were truly upon us!

I am of the vintage who still thinks a customer is someone who buys something in a shop.

 

[Dr Hoo]

When we started being called ‘customers’ instead of ‘passengers’, it was a portent that the end times were truly upon us!

I am of the vintage who still thinks a customer is someone who buys something in a shop.

British Rail’s ‘Customer First’ programme started in 1983, I believe, so the “end times” are proving to be remarkably durable.

 

[TheHovisKid]

"once again".

At any point but especially at the start of an announcement. Scottish crews seem particularly probe to that one.

 

[norbitonflyer]

Yes but the amount of people failing to board the front 4 coaches of a 12-car train whilst the middle is really rather full leads to delays and passenger discomfort. I personally think many passengers might prefer a bit more space for 20 minutes and have a 1 minute longer walk at their destination!

Waterloo's habit of not announcing trains with short turnarounds until they are actually in the platform does not actually give time for people to get to the far end of the train, so it is not surprising most of them pile into the rear. That, and the fact that many of the busiest stations have their exit near the rear of the train (or, if it's an eight car train at Kingston, more than a car length BEHIND the rear of the train because they removed the 8-car stop board!) and there is always a scrum to get through the barriers.

But my point was about places like Wimbledon in the morning peak. Again because of the scrum to get up the stairs, anyone wanting to "alight" from an up service at Wimbledon will travel in the rearmost part of the train - especially if they want to connect with the Tube or Thameslink. Thus the rear carriages are the only ones where there will be any space for passengers to board. Thus that is where people wait. If they "move down the platform" they are reducing their chances of getting on the next train. The solution is to provide a second footbridge nearer the London end of the platforms.

(NB I stopped commuting via Wimbledon in 2018: I gather it's not quite so busy now......)

 

[island]

Waterloo's habit of not announcing trains with short turnarounds until they are actually in the platform does not actually give time for people to get to the far end of the train, so it is not surprising most of them pile into the rear. That, and the fact that many of the busiest stations have their exit near the rear of the train (or, if it's an eight car train at Kingston, more than a car length BEHIND the rear of the train because they removed the 8-car stop board!) and there is always a scrum to get through the barriers.

But my point was about places like Wimbledon in the morning peak. Again because of the scrum to get up the stairs, anyone wanting to "alight" from an up service at Wimbledon will travel in the rearmost part of the train - especially if they want to connect with the Tube or Thameslink. Thus the rear carriages are the only ones where there will be any space for passengers to board. Thus that is where people wait. If they "move down the platform" they are reducing their chances of getting on the next train. The solution is to provide a second footbridge nearer the London end of the platforms.

(NB I stopped commuting via Wimbledon in 2018: I gather it's not quite so busy now......)

This issue used to duplicate itself on Southeastern prior to the London Bridge rebuild – London Bridge, Waterloo East, and Charing Cross all had platform entrance/exits at the up end of the platforms. Sensibly, the London Bridge rebuild placed two exits about a third and two-thirds along an average train's length.

 

[Korea]

"We apologise..." used when they really mean to say, "We are sorry"

 

[Meridian richard]

Transpennine when they announce their toilets have ‘hand washing facilities’

...come on

 

[trainophile]

Transpennine when they announce their toilets have ‘hand washing facilities’

...come on

Could be reassuring, if it's their way of saying they have water as well as soap!

 

[Parallel]

The posh lady with a lisp on SWR trains
"Swee it, Sway it, Sthorted"

Theres also the one on Thameslink (Same person?) Like she cant believe what shes reading
"This train calls at London City ThamesliNK?, FarringdON? London St PanCRAS? And West HampstEAD?

Celia Dummond (who sadly passed away earlier this year) is the voice for SWR on board, as well as on board the Northern line and Jubilee line, and at Northern and Chiltern managed stations. I believe she has a slight accent as she’s from France.

Julie Berry is the voice for on board Thameslink, Southern, Greater Anglia (and others) and also announces on the Piccadilly line stock.

 

[PG]

"We apologise..." used when they really mean to say, "We are sorry"

Often times it's the opposite I feel - "We apologise for..." NOT "We are sorry for..."

Transpennine when they announce their toilets have ‘hand washing facilities’

Could be reassuring, if it's their way of saying they have water as well as soap!

Just because the announcement says so doesn't mean it's true. I doubt they amend the announcement if the soap or water has run out!

 

[johnr57]

The direction signs for the Mallard Sculpture in Darlington describe it as “Train Sculpture” when she is a Locomotive