Information phrases which grate

[Taunton]

Now that it's been mentioned above, one of mine is "skip stopping" (although not one usually heard by the public). It makes sense, but my brain won't let it go and insists on switching it around to "stop skipping".

Skip Stop for me originally came from the USA subways, particularly in Chicago, where passenger demand was almost wholly from the suburbs, with many very frequent stops there, to the centre. At peak times, to both speed the service up from all stations stopping and to balance the loads, alternate stations were designated pattern A or B, and alternate trains were "skip stop A" or "skip stop B". I don't quite know how in Britain it got corrupted to something different.

 

[kwrail]

'We'll sort it. See it, say it, sorted'. Whoever dreamt that one up should have to listen to it on continuous loop as punishment.

The problem is that it is triggered automatically. One of the staff on the SWR main line used to regularly make announcements just as the message started broadcasting. Meaning that we didnt have to listen to it. My guess is that he was as fed up with it as we were.

 

[Nova1]

At least the railway doesn't use the deathless airline announcement for delay to your flight "due to the late arrival of the incoming aircraft".
Thus apparently giving you an "explanation" for the delay, but betraying no hint of the real reason, or any regret or liability.

Although once I did hear "...due to the train being late from the depot"

So, the train is late because it was late.

 

[Ibex]

"Change here for other National Rail services" on Thameslink 700s really irks me. What's the point?

 

[Horizon22]

"Change here for other National Rail services" on Thameslink 700s really irks me. What's the point?

Or TfL Rail saying the same - however much they try not to be they are a National Rail service!

 

[Peter Mugridge]

I presume you mean manual announcements then? All the automated ones I’m fairly sure say “zero”

Edit: now that I’ve said both in my head you’ve really caused me to doubt myself!

I've heard both.

they should say "zero" because most of the time when they say "oh" it sounds very similar to "eight".

 

[High Dyke]

Oh lorks!!!

"You can contact the bravo tango papa"...? [facepalm]

 

[quantinghome]

Not a phrase really, but the announcements on the Cambrian line are interminable because (1) there are a lot of stations (2) the station names can be quite long and (3) every announcement is repeated in Welsh and English.

 

[allotments]

See it, say it, sorted.

When generic security messages occupy the whole departure board for 30 seconds while you miss your tight connection because your train and platform number aren't displayed.

 

[Sprinter107]

When generic security messages occupy the whole departure board for 30 seconds while you miss your tight connection because your train and platform number aren't displayed.

Yes, i find that really annoying too.

 

[davidknibb]

We apologise for ANY inconvenience caused. The suggestion being that although the train is very late,cancelled, running with half the advertised no of carriages etc, rge inconvenience is minimal. You never hear 'We apologise for the major inconvenience. The insertion of the word ANY is a weasel word - and suggestes that they're not really sorry at all.

 

[SE%Traveller]

We're currently being held at a red signal (when still cruising along at 60) (700)

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Endless Messages about about how Engineering works on the Brighton Line might effect your journey this weekend. on every 700 regardless of route....

 

[MotCO]

Can't let this thread go without the classic announcements heard by the great Reggie Perrin

11 minutes late, staff difficulties, Hampton Wick
11 minutes late, signal failure at Vauxhall
11 minutes late, staff shortages, Nine Elms
11 minutes late, derailment of container truck, Raynes Park
11 minutes late, seasonal manpower shortages, Clapham Junction
11 minutes late, defective junction box, New Malden
11 minutes late, overheated axle at Berrylands
11 minutes late, defective axle at Wandsworth
11 minutes late, somebody had stolen the lines at Surbiton
17 minutes late, defective bogey at Earlsfield
17 minutes late, water seeping through the cables at Effingham Junction – there was a lot of Effingham and a good deal of Blindingham!
22 minutes late, black ice at Norbiton
22 minutes late, obstacles on the line at Berrylands
22 minutes late, badger ate a junction box at New Malden
22 minutes late, fed up by train delays, came by bike. Slow puncture at Peckham
22 minutes late, escaped puma, Chessington North

If you don't understand these then you weren't brought up properly

One that does not feature in the list was "30 minutes late due to flooded level crossing at New Malden" because it was a true incident in late 1997. I had just caught the train at Norbiton to go to Waterloo, when the train stopped before the Elm Road level crossing. After a long wait, the driver comes through the train so I asked him what the problem was - there was no public announcement! - and we reversed back to Kingston wrong road, and thence back to Waterloo the long way round.

 

[johnnychips]

When generic security messages occupy the whole departure board for 30 seconds while you miss your tight connection because your train and platform number aren't displayed.

This is particularly annoying in Doncaster concourse, because of the two departure boards, the second board ‘2 of 2’ remains constant while the imminent departure board ‘1 of 2’ alternates with mask and security notices.

 

[urbophile]

"Station stop". One or the other, but not both, you bells.

This one delights my inner pedant because a train can stop otherwise than at a station, and it will often pass through many stations where it won't stop. So it's perfectly correct. But it's annoying and unnecessary now that slam door trains no longer run, because there is no chance of a passenger getting off except at an authorised stop.

The misuse of 'service' for 'train' annoys me intensely because it makes no sense.

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We apologise for ANY inconvenience caused. The suggestion being that although the train is very late,cancelled, running with half the advertised no of carriages etc, rge inconvenience is minimal. You never hear 'We apologise for the major inconvenience. The insertion of the word ANY is a weasel word - and suggestes that they're not really sorry at all.

'We are sorry if you are upset [by our inefficiency/rudeness/incompetence...]' The standard politicians' non-apology; implying 'you poor snowflakes shouldn't get so uptight about our normal behaviour. We are sorry that your hypersensitivity has forced us to make this statement.'

 

[mmh]

Station stop"

That one's not too bad, in the context of "the next station stop is..." It lets you know that the next stop might not actually be a station and where you'll be waiting ten minutes!

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Not strictly an information announcement, but close enough. I despised the toilet announcements on Virgin. Unnecessary and annoying!

This comes up often on here. Avanti's toilets have not had their electronic vocal chords removed. In fact, they spent a while proclaiming the John Smith from Milton Keynes had won the competition to be the new voice of their toilets.

And of course, loads of other train toilets talk to tell you about whether you've locked it or not.

 

[DerekC]

Slightly OT, but one of my best on a late journey home on the Portsmouth Line was:

• Waterloo just before scheduled departure - "trains are being delayed by a a trespasser on the line near Havant"
• Waterloo half an hour later: "we apologise for delay to the incoming service which is due to a lineside fire in the Portsmouth area"
• Conductor, somewhere south of Guildford: "I apologise for the ongoing delay - it seems there is a signalling failure at Havant"

I took the trouble to find out which was true and they all were! A tramp had climbed over the fence, lit a fire to cook his supper and gone to sleep. The fire had spread to lineside vegetation and damaged signalling cables. History didn't relate what happened to the tramp!

 

[Facing Back]

The phrase 'a complete stop' irritates me as there's no such thing as a partial stop - that's called 'still moving'.

I'm sure it's designed to stop people doing things which are ill-advised when the train is in motion, but 'complete' is still redundant. Haven't heard it for a while though.

 

[GordonT]

That would be very much discouraged now; yes having a reason is better than not, but conversely making up an inaccurate/false reason is worse than not having one.

As an aside to the thread, in general this is an enthusiasts forum (in the main). Many more casual passengers find announcements that might appear mundane to be quite useful as well as assisting those with visual issues.

Very occasionally the announcements themselves from particular members of staff have an inbuilt enthusiast twist. An example was a conductor who unfailingly announced Dundee station by its obsolete name of "Dundee (Tay Bridge)". A variation on this theme are occasional staff members who like to pepper their announcements with internal railway phraseology e.g. "We are currently running seven minutes later than booked". "this service has been cancelled due to set failure" etc.

 

[mirodo]

Very occasionally the announcements themselves from particular members of staff have an inbuilt enthusiast twist. An example was a conductor who unfailingly announced Dundee station by its obsolete name of "Dundee (Tay Bridge)". A variation on this theme are occasional staff members who like to pepper their announcements with internal railway phraseology e.g. "We are currently running seven minutes later than booked". "this service has been cancelled due to set failure" etc.

I've heard "we are currently being held at a red aspect" on Southern.

 

[YorksLad12]

Very occasionally the announcements themselves from particular members of staff have an inbuilt enthusiast twist. An example was a conductor who unfailingly announced Dundee station by its obsolete name of "Dundee (Tay Bridge)". A variation on this theme are occasional staff members who like to pepper their announcements with internal railway phraseology e.g. "We are currently running seven minutes later than booked". "this service has been cancelled due to set failure" etc.

Ah yes. And all those who refer to Leeds as Leeds City

I think it was this Monday just gone when the Graun's live news reported PA News reporting that Network Rail was reporting the reduced footfall at stations. Leeds Central was down 35% on normal... no idea who got that wrong!

 

[D6975]

I still have a (irrational?) dislike of being referred to as a customer. I've always (and still) regarded myself as a passenger when I'm on a train or bus or tram or.....

 

[L401CJF]

The onboard information screen on TfW services on the likes of the Crewe to Chester shuttle.

"This train is for Crewe. Calling at Crewe. The next stop is Crewe." Scrolling across on the same message!

 

[Mat17]

I agree with the customer versus passenger. I have always referred to myself as a passenger.

The one that really annoys me is the encroachment of airline terms 'business class'. I have never liked the term 'standard class' either. To me it's 1st and 2nd.

 

[40129]

The onboard information screen on TfW services on the likes of the Crewe to Chester shuttle.

"This train is for Crewe. Calling at Crewe. The next stop is Crewe." Scrolling across on the same message!

Even more annoying when it's the pseudo bi-lingual version, i.e. "This train is for Crewe/Cryw ... "

 

[geoffk]

All the unnecessary verbiage which goes with a request stop announcement.

I really meant those on the station, not on the train. "Please note that x and y are request stops, and customers for these stations should ask the conductor on the train to arrange for the train to stop to allow them to alight." The last five words are redundant and the message could probably be reduced to "....passengers for these stations should notify the conductor."

 

[172007]

The phrase 'a complete stop' irritates me as there's no such thing as a partial stop - that's called 'still moving'.

I'm sure it's designed to stop people doing things which are ill-advised when the train is in motion, but 'complete' is still redundant. Haven't heard it for a while though.

Until you have request stops and a complete stop is a passenger is getting off, or on. A partial stop is there are no passengers getting off and no one is on the platform waiting. Partial stop then is brake to 20mph from 75mph, take power and away.

 

[Railcar]

On trains with SELEctive Door Opening, the announcement ABOUT not leaving from the last X carriages "Because the next station has a short platform" NO, the station platform has always been the same length, it's the train that Is too long.

 

[Pep and co]

We're now approaching Milton Keynes Central.....
.......

 

[Wyrleybart]

Has anyone mentioned "arriving into" instead of "arriving at" ?
Arriving into sounds to me like the passengers are shimmying down the chimney instead of arriving at a platform.