Fun Fare....

[PuffingBilly0612]

Thought it would be nice to lighten things up a bit (assuming you're up for that sort of thing on here). How about making up some really funny and silly excuses for not presenting a ticket to an RPI? These could be real excuses you've been told (if you're an RPI reading this) or an entirely invented one that is so absurd no one would ever use it.

Then we could have a competition to vote on the best one yet. I'll start.

"Sorry, a triffid plant was growing along the banks besides these tracks, and one of its branches quickly climbed through the open topped window for just a few seconds, just as we passed Clapham Junction, and it snatched my ticket from my top pocket only seconds before you arrived into the carriage. I had paid, honestly!"

 

[jon0844]

That's one of the most common.

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk 4

 

[deltic1989]

"I'm an MI6 agent on covert ops and if I bought a ticket it would blow my cover."

 

[Eagle]

I'm highly allergic to cardboard so I can't touch it to take it out of my rear pocket. It is in there, I assure you.

 

[causton]

"The ticket office was closed, and I can't read so I can't use the TVM"

...hey wait that sounds plausible!

 

[TheJRB]

"Arghh! The zip on this pocket just won't budge! The ticket's definitely in there."

Or "I'm glad you've come for my ticket. I was wondering if you've seen a man with a dog. See, just five minutes ago I had my ticket right here on the table in front of me when just before my eyes, the dog jumped up and ate it. I think they got off at Otford."

Or "I'm the Chancellor of the Exchequer, why would I need a ticket?". Oh wait a second...

 

[martinsh]

Ticket ? I don't need a ticket - I'm a bear !!

[ Anyone who doesn't understand this is referred to the link below ]

http://www.funniermoments.com/watch.php?vid=8a7677b1d

 

[ATW Alex 101]

"What's a ticket?"

 

[SS4]

I thought you said I needed a tikka to ride

 

[edwin_m]

Ticket? Give me the box and I'll ticket for you.

 

[Welshman]

This thread reminds me of the story of a Bishop, whose self-importance compensated for his lack of ticket.
"My face is my ticket" he replied to the conductor.
"Maybe so" that man replied, "but I'll still have to punch it!"

 

[Tomonthetrain]

Would the Queen need a ticket? If so and she didn't buy one I've thought up a good excuse

"Don't you know who I am?"

 

[asylumxl]

"You want to see my ticket? Sure! I've got A Ticket to Ride on my iPod"

 

[PuffingBilly0612]

Love them, keep them coming

Here's another:


You know what, I'd love to show you my valid ticket but the funny thing is, I can't right now - but I did have one - honestly! Just before you came by, a pregnant woman sitting opposite me was talking to her friend and discussing the cravings she had. They were really bad: she said she couldn't stop eating Shellfish and loved sucking on plastic too. When I looked up from my newspaper I noticed that my Oyster Card ready for inspection was no longer on the table and she was chewing hard on something that she was finding difficult to swallow. I was really quite alarmed, I can tell you. Then she got off at East Croydon.

 

[wensley]

Possibly the best I've heard, sadly said in all seriousness...

"What?! I have to pay to use the train...f*ck off!"

Followed by a regular

"I ain't paying nothing!" - Correct sir, you will be paying me something

 

[Trainfan344]

Why do you want to see my ticket, do you buy a ticket before you get on every train, if so where is your ticket for this service?

 

[Eagle]

Followed immediately by the guard showing his staff pass. :P

 

[Qwerty133]

I thought you only needed to show some bit of the ticket (ticket or railcard or reservation or bike res or photo card etc) when only some of the train shows up.