Forum Jokes

[Adlington]

Doing rounds on the internet, not my work:
Who needs Spain this summer? Viva Inglaterra! (mp4, some 8MB)

http://niedroga.epizy.com/Viva_Inglaterra.mp4

 

[scotrail158713]

I used to have a fear of chestnut trees.
But then I conquered it.

 

[PaxVobiscum]

I hope that’s the last tree joke.
I’d be sycamore like it.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

I hope that’s the last tree joke.
I’d be sycamore like it.

Agreed. They're a right pine in the proverbial.

 

[Calthrop]

I think tree jokes are fun -- don't be killjoys and rowan it.

 

[GusB]

Isn't time that this thread was spruced up and the deadwood removed?

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Isn't time that this thread was spruced up and the deadwood removed?

I think you may be barking up the wrong tree with that one... I think the thread is Oak-ay.

 

[Cowley]

Isn't time that this thread was spruced up and the deadwood removed?

It’s probably time that one of us twigged on about that but I’m just about to log out.

 

[lxfe_mxtterz]

It’s probably time that one of us twigged on about that but I’m just about to log out.

Good thing remembering to log out! Leafing your account logged in could make you rather poplar among hackers and account thieves.

 

[londiscape]

Leaf it out, we were vine before all these treeible puns...

 

[Islineclear3_1]

Time to branch out to a different topic

 

[NORMAN471]

Time to branch out to a different topic

Am I right in thinking you want to raise the (Chocolate) bar? Let's do this the Milky Way. At one time it would be a Marathon but now it's all Snickers.

 

[Islineclear3_1]

Remember, a Mars helps you work, rest and play... enough to leave some marathon runners starry-eyed

 

[Sean Davidson]

If a taxi driver took Will I Am to The Voice studio, would it actually make him a coach driver?

 

[Calthrop]

If a red and a white corpuscle fell in love, would it be in vain [vein]?

 

[61653 HTAFC]

If a taxi driver took Will I Am to The Voice studio, would it actually make him a coach driver?

No... It'd make him a tw*t transporter (the * is obviously an i, as per forum rules!).

I like Charlie Brooker's nickname for the erstwhile Black Eyed Peas frontman: Pr*ck He Is.

 

[scotrail158713]

Mountains aren't just funny.

They're hill areas.

 

[Jona26]

Mountains aren't just funny.

They're hill areas.

Oh, the hill-arity

 

[Jona26]

Have you heard the story about the hill?

I couldn’t get over it.

 

[MotCO]

Mountains aren't just funny.

They're hill areas.

I think you've peaked too soon.

 

[Jona26]

I n'ever rest'

 

[LOL The Irony]

The best election result

President Starr at your service

 

[LSWR Cavalier]

I saw someone sitting outside a pub, looking sorry for himself

'You alright mate? Got no cash? May I buy you a drink?', I said

'Money I have, but I am not thirsty at the minute', he whimpered

 

[341o2]

I've just come across something more boring than British politics

American politics

 

[LSWR Cavalier]

A clown, a philanderer and a cyclist walked into a pub

'What may I get you, Mr Johnson?', quoth the barperson

 

[MotCO]

A clown, a philanderer and a cyclist walked into a pub

'What may I get you, Mr Johnson?', quoth the barperson

A triple?

 

[DaveHarries]

Q: How do Eskimos hold their houses together?
A: Iglue

Dave

 

[Pinza-C55]

The study of disused railways is called Pathology.

 

[swj99]

Bloke goes to the doctor and says, "I can't stop stealing things."
The doctor says, "Here, take these tablets and see how you get on. And if you're not cured in two weeks, can you get me a flat screen television ?"

 

[Jona26]

Toilet humour isn't my favourite type of humour... but it's a solid number two!