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Female Railfans (and why dating is difficult)

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Peter Mugridge

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No, but I do mean notebook and numbers mode. I don't wear an anorak but I do have a large shoulder bag! The first words I said to her were "That's the bridge where the Great Train Robbery happened!" while pointing at it out of the window!
 
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bb21

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Besides, to add a few plus points, how many of us here are interested in travel? Of the 'seeing new places and experiencing new things' variety, perhaps? Yes, there's a certain element of 'spin' to that, but speaking personally, I've seen almost the whole country and a good deal of the rest of the world through a train window. And there are all sorts of fascinating things to see when you get there.

That is certainly true for me. My interest in the railway stemmed from travelling to away football matches, which gradually grew into travelling to new places, and now actually paying attention to the rolling stock and other aspects of the railway.

I don't ever go into full spotter mode, although I do have a very distinctive clipboard. :D
 

Metroland

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I think full spotter mode is the main problem, once you go into that it becomes okay to 'put you in a group'. Human beings are awfully tribal.

Remember, some minorities, unlike others are socially "okay" to take the **** out of in this country.

It's a bizarre world where talking the mickey out of a black person, or Jew, at least publicly is a strict no-no. Gay people used to get a lot of stick, now that's becoming less of a problem thankfully.

But if you are bald, ginger, or a train spotter, then it's oddly completely fine to really insult someone!

Other enthusiasts get confused with 'train spotters', because spotters are the visible group.

"We supposedly live in a liberal society which rejects bigotry and embraces a ‘live and let live’ philosophy. However, one cannot help but question what kind of a society this actually is when young people have to be warned of the likelihood of facing bullying simply for having a hobby. Perhaps, seemingly ironically, it may well actually be the growth of an institutionally mandated culture of tolerance and opposition to bigotry that has led to this phenomenon, or allowed it to emerge.

Human history contains numerous examples of minority groups and individuals being used as scapegoats, hate targets, and objects of ridicule. However, today, many of these outlets have been taken away. People can no longer freely bully, harass, and demean others based on things such as ethnicity and religious belief. Yet, it seems that this desire to bully and ostracise may well have roots in our evolutionary past and that the capacity to hate may be an essential component of what it is to be human.

Human beings enjoy being members of ingroups (of which mainstream society is the ultimate ingroup), they generally enjoy ‘fitting in’and a degree of conformity, and the flipside of this can be the rejection of non-ingroup members and even hatred of them. It is amazing how encouraging hatred of groups or individuals can act as a social glue that binds an ingroup together (Hitler, for example, didn’t simply promote a Germanic identity but did this througha hate campaign against the Jewish people). Indeed, ingroup hatred of outgroups can arguably lead to ingroup members feeling at home, comfortable, included, and ‘right’. Stigmatisation, as Robert Kurzban and Mark R. Leary note, is consensual, and therefore communal, and ‘[n]ot only do the members of a particular group mostly agree regarding who is and is not stigmatized, but they can typically articulate this shared belief’.

In an age in which the traditional forms of ingroup hatred of outgroups (based on tribalism, race, nationality, religion, and so on) are no longer socially acceptable on a wide scale, are people seeking new outlets (albeit on a lower level) for the same old hatreds? In the case of the vilification of rail enthusiasts this is arguably the case, and other groups also find themselves in a similar position of being victims of socially tolerated kinds of bigotry, as witness the insults, bullying, and contempt experienced by ginger-haired people n the UK."


http://www.butterfliesandwheels.org...hat-this-tells-us-about-contemporary-society/

Depends on class and culture to be honest. You can stereotype a lot of groups, such as football fans or BNP voters as knuckle draggers, Daily Mail readers as right wing biggots, sun readers as celebrity obsessed and a bit thick, and Guardian readers as left wing yoghurt knitting touchy feely buffoons. And look at the way some people look down their nose at 'Chavs'.

I was listening to a radio phone in last night and a well know political person ended up calling someone a 'train spotter' as an insult. Yet, if he had said the some thing about a Christian or Jew as an insult, he would have been taken off air, probably been in the front of the papers all week!

Ditto, many comedians freely take the mickey out of ginger people, something a person cannot help. Yet, if they were black...

For me it's about balance. I think we should be able to laugh about things, in fact Harry Enfield and Jasper Carrot, the two people that really started the culture of talking the mickey out of enthusiasts are brilliant comedians. It's when people take it further to bully, mock or exclude people.
 
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neilmc

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Chances of meeting eligible girls:

Standing on platform ends with notebooks or boarding enthusiast specials to travel on rare bits of track:Very Poor

Travelling to interesting places by train without writing down all the numbers: Bit better

Creative writing: Not bad at all

Going to church: Absolutely excellent

A long-standing single female friend of mine from church met her life partner on a travel holiday despite the fact that he's a rather geeky modeller who touts his model railway exhibition round the south of England. At least she knows he's unlikely to meet lots of OTHER women that way.
 

steamybrian

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Another good chance of meeting females is by working on a heritage railway.
I have met three.:D:D:D
 

Nym

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Chances of meeting eligible girls:

Standing on platform ends with notebooks or boarding enthusiast specials to travel on rare bits of track:Very Poor

Travelling to interesting places by train without writing down all the numbers: Bit better

Creative writing: Not bad at all

Going to church: Absolutely excellent

Makes me glad I don't go to church...

Still, I don't stand on platform ends with notebooks either...

I don't ever go into full spotter mode, although I do have a very distinctive clipboard. :D

If spotter == clipboard then I looked like a P Gate spotter the other day...
 

WestRiding

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A lot of 'enthusiasts' don't exactly help themselves with attracting the female race. From the signal box on the end of the platform at Sheffield, we all see you stood on the end of the platform, tripods and notebooks in abundance. There is a fantastic pub on Sheffield station, the 'Tap', and girls reside in there too. I like trains, railways, but try not to make it obvious. I know where I would sooner be, the Tap.
 

Butts

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Metroland seems quite obsessed with bigotry and abuse "at ginger people" - I have the affliction (with whats left of my hair=more grey/sandy now).

When I was a kid I got "the **** ripped" but so did everyone about something or other.

Is metroland a balding ginger train spotter - this seems to summise his contribution :lol:
 

Clip

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Another good chance of meeting females is by working on a heritage railway.
I have met three.:D:D:D

How long you worked on it tho and you have only met 3 women??? ;)

But yeah I'd say that telling them you enjoy travelling is much better to start with rather than blurting out your a spotter or a basher



 

NSE

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I wouldn't tell a girlfriend. My last one knew. But only cause she saw emails from this forum :P I say I like travelling and stuff, and living in a different part of the country to where I'm from, uni in London, and visiting other mates at uni in various places, mean I'm just used to train travelling. Mind you, I've never been train spotting and do not plan to. My train interest is restricted to personal enjoyment from travelling, and reading on the Internet. There's too much sad-geek attachment to it, I just wouldn't risk it.

For me, I couldn't care what my girlfriend was in too, as long as she accepted my interests, I'll accept hers and I'd happily take some form of interest too. I wouldn't mention trains though. For me, she'd have to accept my guitars. They are my babies, and I love them. All my children will be learning guitar, my guitars are part of me, in fact I spend far more on guitars than trains, and I often travel first class , and on longer routes without advances haha.
 

Trainfan344

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off the girls i've told they all like it, at college a lot of people ask me about buses and trains etc, and of the female trainspotters i've met, they were daughters of a friend who is a train spotter, and one has a boyfriend, and one is about 12/13 xD...
 

maniacmartin

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I usually haunt the Fares, Ticketing and Routeing section have no interest in rolling stock (nor could I name the type of a train stood on a platform) or covering new lines.

I find that my other half is reasonably interested in about the politics of DfT awarding franchises, the recent Merseyrail guard trial and the like, but once the subject turns to the technicalites of things like ORCATS, excess fares, routeing groups etc, loses interest very quickly! I think its not the end of the world if you don't have an identical set of hobbies, as long as you have one or two in common.
 

Metroland

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Metroland seems quite obsessed with bigotry and abuse "at ginger people" - I have the affliction (with whats left of my hair=more grey/sandy now).

When I was a kid I got "the **** ripped" but so did everyone about something or other.

Is metroland a balding ginger train spotter - this seems to summise his contribution :lol:

Aha! You found me out, I was also Scottish once as well, but had to change my nationality to English (despite everything being better in Scotland :) ).
 

Butts

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Aha! You found me out, I was also Scottish once as well, but had to change my nationality to English (despite everything being better in Scotland :) ).

Well I used to live in Dudlaaay...are you West or East Midlands ?

Also worked : Dudley,Stone Cross, West Bromwich,Walsall,Great Barr,Alum Rock,Kingstanding,Kings Heath,Cradley Heath, Nuneaton, Leamington, Nottingham, Leicester , Bilston, Wolverhampton,Burton, Stafford , Aldridge and many more Bingo Halls that I can't recall.
 
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NLC1072

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I have always found my love of railways an advantage, free travel from the toc I work for, the abillity to take a girl away to somwhere nice and not have to drive... Cheaply... Means more time face to face which is always good... Never let them know straight away I'm an enthusiast, they like my musical skills and motorbike too though lol, try to make railways a part of the day with say a tourist atraction at the destination like say visiting cadbury world?
 

richw

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I can beat that - I met mine through this forum. :lol:

I met my other half through an eBay transaction. She came to collect an item I sold, and we ended up going for a drink when she collected it.
 

TrainBoy98

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Nice pic that

I know a girl that likes trains. I also believe that there are a few members on this forum that are female. A few members on my rail forum are female.

My girlfriend doesn't seem to mind my rail enthusiasm either, she is actually quite interested!


Well I dont really know any girls that like trains at all, and your lucky mate, my girlfriend absolutly hates them!
 

Ivo

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Other than that, is it really that hard to talk to females?

How long an answer do you want? Short? Average? Long? 600*-odd pages of textbook?

* I think it's 673, but I may be wrong EDIT: Not including indices, 673 is correct

Try to make railways a part of the day with say a tourist atraction at the destination like say visiting cadbury world?

A good idea in theory, and one that most people would try I expect!

Too bad for me it involves a 323 <(
 

Nym

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Long academic post coming up I guess :p

OK then, something to accommodate the length of an average bowel movement...

But really, what is so difficult about talking to females, the only difficulty I have with ones that consider themselves attractive is that they're up themselves and thick as two short planks...
 

Clip

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OK then, something to accommodate the length of an average bowel movement...

But really, what is so difficult about talking to females, the only difficulty I have with ones that consider themselves attractive is that they're up themselves and thick as two short planks...

I think in general they find it easy to talk to women but when its girls they like they find it hard to get that across to them with a fear of not wanting to look a tit.

What I would say if your not sure about the reaction of your hobby being trains then try out talking about your other interests too - cant solely be trains and buses.
 
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