Dear Town Clerk (no, not CEO),
I'm Old Holborn, a political blogger and live in Braintree. I'm the one who told you what I was going to pay for the bits I wanted in my council tax, not the other way around, remember me?
Couple of things
1. Any sign of the £2 Million of OUR money the bean counters you hired ****ed up the wall in Iceland yet? When can we expect sackings?
2. Clean the streets up. You took £1.8 million to clean up the streets and it looks like Hurricane Katrina out there. **** all over the place.
Whilst I realise a great proportion of the inhabitants of this town are little more than tattooed shaved babboons that source their daily nourishment from Kebab shops and McDonalds drive throughs, there is no excuse for the place looking a Nigerian rubbish dump (photo of the high street above).
I see the council vans out and about filled to the brim with Sun reading hi-viz vested unemployables but why are the roads covered in **** filled plastic bottles chucked out by Latvian lorry drivers on their way back to Harwich?
What's with the half eaten chicken carcasses in the high street?
Instead of holding "multicultural" festivals complete with Romany nose warbling demonstrations and the obligatory single parent halfing attempting to convert the loyal citizens to the joys of "Gangsta Rap, innit" at 120db (yes, just last weekend) or
**** like this or putting up CCTV on evvery street corner and hiring more "civil enforcement" officers, why don't you just bollock the oafs who are supposed to be cleaning the place up at my expense?
Tell you what. Sack the lot of them and use some of the endless stream of "vulnerable young adults" that are up before the beak every week for beating strangers with pick axe handles for daring to look at their drunken pitbulls.
Instead of sending them off to anger management classes held by 60 year old Lesbians who have only ever worked in the gardening department of Braintree Council, send the *******s out in pink uniforms to pick up the litter and roadkill instead. Readers of my blog will gladly donate to pink uniforms and leg irons to keep the scrotes in their proper place. Picking up ****, in January, in the rain or scraping badgers off the tarmac in mid August under the beating sun.
£1.8 million a year saved. Nearly as much as YOU lost in Iceland, you cocktrumpet. Oh, and stop giving schoolkids a fiver to put litter in bins.
No. Really. Stop it
I'm coming to the next council meeting to ask you in person.