Depression

[MidnightFlyer]

Quite an emotive subject for many.

What is it that causes this feeling in people? Is it lack of something in life, or something much more complex? Further, does it just come naturally to some?

It amazes me how some people can be so bright in public, yet so lonely and upset inside, and how some can recover (see Stephen Fry), and how it can trouble others for years, even decades.

So, what do other people think on this subject?

 

[exile]

Despite us being supposedly rational beings our brains are governed by emotions - which are transmitted by chemicals - in effect naturally produced drugs. Brains aren't all wired the same way so some of us, some of the time, can get stuck in a negative feedback loop.

I've suffered from depression before and even though it was a mild case it was terrifying. I'm not sure you can ever be permanently cured.

As well as people who have a tendency to depression, "normal" people can suffer from it too if something traumatic happens to them - bereavement, divorce, loss of job etc.

 

[newbie babs]

Depression comes in many forms but its not just about being lonely and upset.

It can be triggered many many incidents.

I have had to look after 3 separate family members with depression, its not only painful for those suffering from it but for those trying to deal with the aftermath and still remain positive, it can be just as painful.

 

[90019]

What is it that causes this feeling in people? Is it lack of something in life, or something much more complex? Further, does it just come naturally to some?

Personally, I've never quite understood it, and had issues with it for years.
I've been looking for a solution myself for the past few years, with very little luck. For me, I do wonder if it is just something missing, but all attempts at solving that have come to nothing so far. It's caused quite a lot of problems at times.

It amazes me how some people can be so bright in public, yet so lonely and upset inside

Heh, I think I fall into this category

 

[Greenback]

Depression is not a simple condition, and there are no simple answers. It can appear from nowhere as the result of a traumatic incident in life, such as bereavement, and it can also develop slowly over time. It can be a combination of the two.

 

[Captain Chaos]

I have had recurrent bouts of depression for many years now.

Didn't have it return for about two years until about a year ago. Usually mine occurred due to certain aspects of my life I have been unhappy with. What was most strange is that although those aspects were still unresolved I would be able to bring myself out of it with a combination of tablets, talking to others about my feelings etc.

However since a year ago me and my immediate family have been going through an extremely tough, tiring, traumatic, and highly emotional event in life (I am not going to reveal any details about this because I do not want it on a public forum). I can honestly say that we have been experiencing the most difficult time of our lives. In fact I would go as far as to say that I don't think I or my family will ever have to go through anything as difficult as this ever again. This has brought about my depression again but this time I cannot shake it off. This does of course worry me. Not only this but due to what's happened it's made me truly realise that there is actually alot more in my life that I do not like and fully intend on changing this time. This time things really are different for me. What has happened has made me truly realise that what I really want to do is make a fresh start in most aspects of my life. This is something i fully intend on doing now. For some reason what has happened has given me the kick that I really needed to finally change things. Just a shame about the depression but I know that in time this will eventually pass for me and I can get on with enjoying my life again.

 

[Eagle]

Depression, like I'm feeling particularly acutely today, in my case doesn't seem to have any specific causes...

There's a number of things I feel. One is that I can't seem to do anything. Whether it's doing important admin work for charity, drawing furry art or even just making dinner it always seems to get procrastinated away to the end of time, and it ruins things a great deal. I hate this about myself and yet I can't seem to change it.
Another thing is that I see everyone living their lives in what I perceive to be an awesome way and I think I should be like that. Everyone else does stuff like going out or travelling or hobbies or stuff and I don't (see point one). Even complete strangers like some people on this forum I'm jealous of.

The problem with my depression was it took years to admit it to myself, let alone anyone else. Even today I've just brushed away worried queries from friends and family with a quick "I'm fine". I feel guilty when people worry about me.

There's no concrete problems that cause it. I'm fine for money, confident of my sexuality and (not to put too fine a point on it) barring a major psychological breakdown I'm going to get a first-class degree next year. Okay, I have doubts about what I'm going to do come July 2012 but worries like that get totally eclipsed by the depression which has nothing to do with it.

And morbid thoughts? Yep. All the time. Never admitted this to anyone I know, but we're all strangers here so it's nice to open up. Possibly my lowest point was in Leeds a while back when I'd had a couple of pints, gotten upset and gone for a long walk in the rain. I ended up at Burley Park station and just sat on the platform. Then I heard the sound of an approaching Pacer and the voice in my head said "You know what? Why don't you just do it right here?" And that was terrifying. I've thought about suicide all the time—still do—but never in a way that I'm actually going to do it. The thought got no further. I sat bolt upright and tried to hold back the vomit in my throat, and burst into hysterics. People were staring. And although I haven't touched a drop since I'm still haunted by the spectre of suicidality.

So, yeah, that's me.

 

[exile]

I've had a couple of episodes myself and am always aware of a slippery slope leading down from where I am to the deep well of depression. If that's not mixing my metaphors!

I've found a combination of drugs and therapy does the trick in the end - but the triggering factor, as long as you know what it is - work, family, or whatever - has to be confronted and dealt with.
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---

Depression, like I'm feeling particularly acutely today, in my case doesn't seem to have any specific causes...

There's a number of things I feel. One is that I can't seem to do anything. Whether it's doing important admin work for charity, drawing furry art or even just making dinner it always seems to get procrastinated away to the end of time, and it ruins things a great deal. I hate this about myself and yet I can't seem to change it.
Another thing is that I see everyone living their lives in what I perceive to be an awesome way and I think I should be like that. Everyone else does stuff like going out or travelling or hobbies or stuff and I don't (see point one). Even complete strangers like some people on this forum I'm jealous of.

The problem with my depression was it took years to admit it to myself, let alone anyone else. Even today I've just brushed away worried queries from friends and family with a quick "I'm fine". I feel guilty when people worry about me.

There's no concrete problems that cause it. I'm fine for money, confident of my sexuality and (not to put too fine a point on it) barring a major psychological breakdown I'm going to get a first-class degree next year. Okay, I have doubts about what I'm going to do come July 2012 but worries like that get totally eclipsed by the depression which has nothing to do with it.

And morbid thoughts? Yep. All the time. Never admitted this to anyone I know, but we're all strangers here so it's nice to open up. Possibly my lowest point was in Leeds a while back when I'd had a couple of pints, gotten upset and gone for a long walk in the rain. I ended up at Burley Park station and just sat on the platform. Then I heard the sound of an approaching Pacer and the voice in my head said "You know what? Why don't you just do it right here?" And that was terrifying. I've thought about suicide all the time—still do—but never in a way that I'm actually going to do it. The thought got no further. I sat bolt upright and tried to hold back the vomit in my throat, and burst into hysterics. People were staring. And although I haven't touched a drop since I'm still haunted by the spectre of suicidality.

So, yeah, that's me.

Are you getting any medical advice or counselling?

 

[90019]

So, yeah, that's me.

I have to say, that's remarkably close to me.

 

[Eagle]

I have to say, that's remarkably close to me.

I've come to the conclusion that you are basically my Scottish doppelgänger.

 

[sprite]

Are you getting any medical advice or counselling?

From experiance I'd recomend everyone tries to get some form of help. its often said that getting help is the hardest/scariest step, this is very true. However for me the thing that took alot of strength to do was to pick myself up when those who were meant to be there to support me and not judge (an NHS counciller in this instance) made it very clear that they judged me etc. For example I showed said counciller evidence of my self harm (~2 years "clean" had a few hiccups but nothing that wasn't confined to a day) and she very quickly moved her chair further away from me, and then just talked only of refering me, which took 3 mnonths to hear back form despite her promises it would be quicker, by that point however I had started my own path to "recovery" with support from a few friends and my girlfriend and was doing very well.

To answer the OP, I honestly don't know how to describe my experiences other than feeling empty, hollow, worthless and just generally insignificant. I don't honestly think that in my case there is one root cause, there are many; bullying, hormones, lonliness and lots of other smaller factors.

 

[90019]

I've come to the conclusion that you are basically my Scottish doppelgänger.

I was in the process of PMing you when you posted that.
It appears so on quite a few counts

Are you getting any medical advice or counselling?

I'm not.
But I have my reasons for that, which I'd rather not go into on a public forum.

 

[43021HST]

Talking of depression, do any of you see any Emos on facebook etc pretending to be all depressed so people will feel sorry for them. Does my bloody head in!

Ive seen so may people around me depressed, I'm beggining to think that I'm odd for not being depressed despite all the crap that has happened to me lately. Most adults I see around me seem to be depressed for various reasons, eg loosing a job, to post natal. I hope I dont end up like that. Is it just the pressures of modern life getting on top of people, makes me worried about the future.

I dont know whether to register this as depression, I have these really down moments like I'm sinking in a metaphorical hole for about 10 minutes then suddenly I'm as right as rain again. It gets worse every day.

 

[theblackwatch]

I don't think there's one particular cause which fits every case. It's also something that a lot of people having difficulty dealing with (both the people who are suffering from it and their freinds and family). It certainly isn't much fun seeing a family member being detained in hospital under the Mental Health Act with depression.

 

[Xenophon PCDGS]

It has affected our family in that a young nephew who had obtained a 2:1 in his degree and obtained a good position, decided to make the decision to "come out" and the word spread amongst his work colleagues to that effect.

His life was made utter hell at work for two years and he took refuge into drinking himself into oblivion when coming home from work some nights and especially at weekends when he was not working, as he received no back up from his management team. In February of this year, he resigned from his position and his depression must have reached rock-bottom in March, when we received a phone call from his father to say that he was in Stepping Hill Hospital, Stockport, having slashed both of his wrists with glass. He has been under medical supervision since that date and the agencies concerned have been very thoughtful with the way that he has been helped.

He is now on the first step forward and has been granted a special benefit to help him on the way forward. He has made the first tentative steps to mix with people once again and is working in the distribution department of Age UK, sorting through goods received from their charity bag collection.

 

[bb21]

Talking of depression, do any of you see any Emos on facebook etc pretending to be all depressed so people will feel sorry for them. Does my bloody head in!

Ive seen so may people around me depressed, I'm beggining to think that I'm odd for not being depressed despite all the crap that has happened to me lately. Most adults I see around me seem to be depressed for various reasons, eg loosing a job, to post natal. I hope I dont end up like that. Is it just the pressures of modern life getting on top of people, makes me worried about the future.

I dont know whether to register this as depression, I have these really down moments like I'm sinking in a metaphorical hole for about 10 minutes then suddenly I'm as right as rain again. It gets worse every day.

I think there is a distinction between someone who is clinically depressed, which is more serious and requires attention from the professionals, and those who are just having a rough time.

We all experience the latter at some point in our lives, as we are emotive subjects. However clinical depression is much less common, though I have seen reports that it is on the rise again due to the economic downturn and the added stress many people are now under.

 

[Kernowfem]

Clinical depression is said be caused by a drop in seratonin levels in the brain, and can be triggered at any time, without the sufferer having had any traumatic incident. Mental illness is a terrible thing and the stigma that is attached to it does not help those who suffer with one.

For those who have never had depression, it can't be understood and therefore the whole snap out of it attitude arises. After my accident i suffered greatly with post traumatic stress disorder and that was bad enough. Now ive lost my father, and again the mental pain one is going through is hell. It seizes your mind and body and just getting up in a morning is proving difficult, even though i'm trying my best to get on with it.

For those who suffer with any mental illness you have my empathy and understanding. It's nothing to be ashamed of, and i hope you get through it, stay strong.

 

[Greenback]

Spot on Kernowfem. Unless someone has experienced it for themselves, they can have no idea what it's like. I was very lucky in that I experienced nothing but support from my family and friends. I wish that I had been a bit more understanding to others before I went through it myself.

 

[DarloRich]

Depression, like I'm feeling particularly acutely today, in my case doesn't seem to have any specific causes...

There's a number of things I feel. One is that I can't seem to do anything. Whether it's doing important admin work for charity, drawing furry art or even just making dinner it always seems to get procrastinated away to the end of time, and it ruins things a great deal. I hate this about myself and yet I can't seem to change it.
Another thing is that I see everyone living their lives in what I perceive to be an awesome way and I think I should be like that. Everyone else does stuff like going out or travelling or hobbies or stuff and I don't (see point one). Even complete strangers like some people on this forum I'm jealous of.

The problem with my depression was it took years to admit it to myself, let alone anyone else. Even today I've just brushed away worried queries from friends and family with a quick "I'm fine". I feel guilty when people worry about me.

There's no concrete problems that cause it. I'm fine for money, confident of my sexuality and (not to put too fine a point on it) barring a major psychological breakdown I'm going to get a first-class degree next year. Okay, I have doubts about what I'm going to do come July 2012 but worries like that get totally eclipsed by the depression which has nothing to do with it.

And morbid thoughts? Yep. All the time. Never admitted this to anyone I know, but we're all strangers here so it's nice to open up. Possibly my lowest point was in Leeds a while back when I'd had a couple of pints, gotten upset and gone for a long walk in the rain. I ended up at Burley Park station and just sat on the platform. Then I heard the sound of an approaching Pacer and the voice in my head said "You know what? Why don't you just do it right here?" And that was terrifying. I've thought about suicide all the time—still do—but never in a way that I'm actually going to do it. The thought got no further. I sat bolt upright and tried to hold back the vomit in my throat, and burst into hysterics. People were staring. And although I haven't touched a drop since I'm still haunted by the spectre of suicidality.

So, yeah, that's me.

Eagle - please speak to someone. It is hard to make that first step but you must. There are people who can help to make things better. May I send you a PM later today? I dont really want to do so at work.

 

[newbie babs]

My son started with depression at 18 after coming back from Iraq 8 years ago, to this day he can`t stay on his own at night, life goes wrong and he shrinks away into his own world.

It has been a long, painful and scary road, I was born to a mum with depression but his is totally different and will be with him forever.

After trauma in my life as a teeneager I had depression to some to a degree but not since then, no idea why the demons stay away but thankfully they do.


There are many forms and I think all of us to some extent feel depressed in some way at some point.

 

[Greenback]

Yes, we all feel a bit depressed now and again, but that's very different to being depressed. Sometimes I wake up and I feel a bit msierable, sometimes I wake up in a bad mood, but it's compeltely different to being unable to getto sleep, being unable to do anything, and suddenly bursting into tears for no reason.

I don't mean to sound harsh, I'm sure you have a very good understanding of the subject, but people may think that feeling a bit down is all that someone with depression is experiencing, and as we know, it's a lot more than that.

 

[142094]

Problem with depression is that it is very hard to classify - i.e. what some people might call depression someone else might not. For example I sometimes feel a bit down in the dumps for a while although I have no idea if that is depression or not. There is no set line between being depressed and not being depressed, so hard to judge.

Trying to write what I want to say is quite hard in this context so I hope that people understand what I'm trying to say.

 

[Greenback]

Problem with depression is that it is very hard to classify - i.e. what some people might call depression someone else might not. For example I sometimes feel a bit down in the dumps for a while although I have no idea if that is depression or not. There is no set line between being depressed and not being depressed, so hard to judge.

Trying to write what I want to say is quite hard in this context so I hope that people understand what I'm trying to say.

This is the trouble! I know what you are saying, it;s what I used to think too! But anyone who has been diagnosed as clinically depressed will know the difference, anyone who has never been clinically depressed won't!

I used to think that depression was just feeling miserable, and I used to think that those who were depressed just needed to sort themselves out and snap out of it.

One of my friends was diagnosed with depression twenty years ago and my lack of understanding of the condition was shocking. I used to try and get her to come down the pub to cheer her up. When I became depressed myself I knew I had been very, very wrong.

It's hard to describe, but in my case my mind was buzzing yet I felt empty. I couldn't read a book, I couldn't concentrate on anything. I would start crying for nothing, five minutes later I'd be laughing like a drain for no reason. I could not eat, and did not enjoy anything any more.

In my case, anti depressants, time adn talking to my supportive friends and relatives allowed me to come out of it. Fortunately I haven;t been anything like that since, though I know it could return at any time.

 

[142094]

This is the trouble! I know what you are saying, it;s what I used to think too! But anyone who has been diagnosed as clinically depressed will know the difference, anyone who has never been clinically depressed won't!

I used to think that depression was just feeling miserable, and I used to think that those who were depressed just needed to sort themselves out and snap out of it.

One of my friends was diagnosed with depression twenty years ago and my lack of understanding of the condition was shocking. I used to try and get her to come down the pub to cheer her up. When I became depressed myself I knew I had been very, very wrong.

It's hard to describe, but in my case my mind was buzzing yet I felt empty. I couldn't read a book, I couldn't concentrate on anything. I would start crying for nothing, five minutes later I'd be laughing like a drain for no reason. I could not eat, and did not enjoy anything any more.

In my case, anti depressants, time adn talking to my supportive friends and relatives allowed me to come out of it. Fortunately I haven;t been anything like that since, though I know it could return at any time.

Your post above mine is probably a better way of explaining what I wanted to put.

I don't think I've felt as bad as some on here but I have seen what it has done to others.

 

[Greenback]

Your post above mine is probably a better way of explaining what I wanted to put.

I don't think I've felt as bad as some on here but I have seen what it has done to others.

I feel guilty because of the way I used to think. Even after my friend tried to take her life twice I could not understand it. I had to go through depression myself in order to get a glimmer of insight into what she endured.

I was ignorant, and closed minded. I thought it was just weak minded people who simply couldn't handle what life threw at them. Boy, did I learn my lesson!

 

[newbie babs]

I don`t think we should get into trying to say what is and is not depression, because thats unfair to those that have mild depression and to those having severe depression.

Being depression has many faces to it and none of them are nice when its happening to you

 

[district]

I am nearly 16 and have been diagnosed with depression after I were crippled by unexplained chest pains. Even today I spend hours on station platforms crying and thinking about how different my life should be.

Would it be easier to die? Thinking rationally, no. But earlier today, stood at the edge of platform 2 at HGS, yes, it would have been. To have the pain taken away would have been a relief.

Then again, I'd miss Rail UK Forums...

 

[Hydro]

I've had it, and my girlfriend's had it. It's a nasty, consuming condition that manifests itself so differently in individuals. One of the problems is that as it's different in every person, no two peoples recovery strategy is the same. And that's what it is, it's a strategy. There's no cure, per se, medication can help but it's normally coupled with adjustments to lifestyle.

The only clear way I can put it across is that nothing in life gave me any enjoyment any more. I didn't want to do anything whatsoever. The biggest thought in my head the whole time was "Just leave me alone, for God's sake".

I can empathise so much with Greenbacks realisation that "going down the pub" or doing "fun" things just doesn't work. My family and friends did the same to me, and it made me worse! It felt so stilted and artificial!

 

[district]

Mum and Dad tried to do 'fun things' for me, it just didn't feel right, it felt fake. Apart from this morning, i've been fine for a good while so I hope I'm on the road to recovery.

 

[Greenback]

I've had it, and my girlfriend's had it. It's a nasty, consuming condition that manifests itself so differently in individuals. One of the problems is that as it's different in every person, no two peoples recovery strategy is the same. And that's what it is, it's a strategy. There's no cure, per se, medication can help but it's normally coupled with adjustments to lifestyle.

The only clear way I can put it across is that nothing in life gave me any enjoyment any more. I didn't want to do anything whatsoever, because it wouldn't "cheer me up". The biggest thought in my head the whole time was "Just leave me alone, for God's sake".

I can very much identify with that last paragraph, Hydro.

Your first paragraph is also very accurate. It does affect everyone differently. In my case, no lifestyle adjustments were necessary, I just needed medication and time. The latter, I think was the best healer, but the former helped to hasten my recovery.
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---

I can empathise so much with Greenbacks realisation that "going down the pub" or doing "fun" things just doesn't work. My family and friends did the same to me, and it made me worse! It felt so stilted and artificial!

The one thing my friends did wrong was to take me down the pub at Christmas. I didn't want to go, but I did. Listening to drinkers singing Christmas carols and having a good time made me feel much, much worse. I think that was the point I realised how completely wrong I had been about depression. After that I stopped feeling guilty about being depressed, and instead started feeling guilty about how I had behaved towards others with the condition.

So why did I go to the pub? Well, I didn't want to spoil my mates enjoyment. We had always gone to the boozer on Christmas Eve, and they made it clear they didn't want to go without me.

It was the same on Christmas Day. I didn't want to upset the rest of the family, so I bottled everything up. If I had been ill at a different time of year, I may have recovered quicker.

Mum and Dad tried to do 'fun things' for me, it just didn't feel right, it felt fake. Apart from this morning, i've been fine for a good while so I hope I'm on the road to recovery.

Yes, that's pretty much how I felt too. Don't worry, as you get better you will have good days and not so good days. I found that the not so good days became fewer as time passed. Eventaully, they became very rare.