Cryptic clues = station name

[Calthrop]

OK, I'll have a go.

We hear Northerner (far from home) addressing in annoyance, his supposed (and proving incompetent) guide to the region in which our Northern friend -- knowing nothing of it -- finds himself.

 

[DaleCooper]

OK, I'll have a go.

We hear Northerner (far from home) addressing in annoyance, his supposed (and proving incompetent) guide to the region in which our Northern friend -- knowing nothing of it -- finds himself.

Lostwithiel?

 

[Calthrop]

That's right -- "Lost with 'ee? 'ell !"

@DaleCooper -- your go.

 

[DaleCooper]

That's right -- "Lost with 'ee? 'ell !"

@DaleCooper -- your go.

I didn't expect that, thank you.

Next clue:

Beware! Scam on Dartford Crossing.

 

[DaleCooper]

I didn't expect that, thank you.

Next clue:

Beware! Scam on Dartford Crossing.

Hint:

It's in Scotland.

 

[duncanp]

Hint:

It's in Scotland.

Conon Bridge (ie Con on bridge)

 

[DaleCooper]

Conon Bridge (ie Con on bridge)

That's right, your turn...

 

[duncanp]

That's right, your turn...

Next clue

Erectile dysfunction with thorns needs to be cured.

 

[Loppylugs]

Next clue

Erectile dysfunction with thorns needs to be cured.

Is there a tramstop named Little Hamptons North ?

 

[duncanp]

Is there a tramstop named Little Hamptons North ?

No, but there is a station called ********* North

 

[Neo9320]

Reddish north?

 

[DaleCooper]

Is there a tramstop named Little Hamptons North ?

Reddish north?

No, but there is a station called ********* North

To continue the theme:

Did Cock o' the North ever call there?

 

[Loppylugs]

Floppings North?

 

[DaleCooper]

Floppings North?

That station is neither central nor great and doesn't have much heritage.

 

[Loppylugs]

That station is neither central nor great and doesn't have much heritage.

But Great Floppings and Floppings Central don't fit the *********.

 

[Calthrop]

Leicester North (Great Central heritage line)? -- though I can't figure out how that fits in.

ETA: yes, I can -- it's an anagram of "erectile", and "thorns".

 

[duncanp]

But Great Floppings and Floppings Central don't fit the *********.

Some of you have got really filthy minds and have been watching far too many Carry On films.

Leicester North (Great Central heritage line)? -- though I can't figure out how that fits in.

ETA: yes, I can -- it's an anagram of "erectile", and "thorns".

Got it in one.

Your turn.

 

[Calthrop]

Got it in one.

Your turn.

I feel that folks basically fed it almost letter-by-letter, and that by a fluke, it was me who finally furnished the answer -- don't really reckon self to deserve to set the next one; but, anyhow:

Out on the wild moors -- villain created by Mr. Child gives a tongue-lashing to his underling: "You fool, Walt ! Nab Reacher before he thwarts our evil plan for keeps..."

 

[DaleCooper]

I feel that folks basically fed it almost letter-by-letter, and that by a fluke, it was me who finally furnished the answer -- don't really reckon self to deserve to set the next one; but, anyhow:

Out on the wild moors -- villain created by Mr. Child gives a tongue-lashing to his underling: "You fool, Walt ! Nab Reacher before he thwarts our evil plan for keeps..."

Altnabreac (...Walt ! Nab Reacher...)

 

[Calthrop]

Altnabreac it is (fantasy re the Jack Reacher thrillers by Lee Child -- Jack R. is the goody, I gather).

@DaleCooper -- over to you.

 

[DaleCooper]

Altnabreac it is (fantasy re the Jack Reacher thrillers by Lee Child -- Jack R. is the goody, I gather).

@DaleCooper -- over to you.

Thank you.

Next clue:

Why is this station's name misspelt all the time?

 

[Purple Train]

Dolwyddelan?
Or Roman Bridge (given that, as far as I know, there were some mis-spellings on the Welsh-language name board at said station recently)?

 

[DaleCooper]

Dolwyddelan?
Or Roman Bridge (given that, as far as I know, there were some mis-spellings on the Welsh-language name board at said station recently)?

No, this station is served by Southeastern and has a much shorter name.

 

[Calthrop]

No, this station is served by Southeastern and has a much shorter name.

Cor, strike a bleedin' light, guv -- it's got to be Wye. Taking it that that's correct -- open floor, please: your hint -- for me, in the "taking candy off a baby" category.

 

[DaleCooper]

Cor, strike a bleedin' light, guv -- it's got to be Wye. Taking it that that's correct -- open floor, please: your hint -- for me, in the "taking candy off a baby" category.

Wye when spelt correctly or Why when misspelt is the answer, open floor as requested...

 

[Purple Train]

An order to refrigerate people?

 

[Calthrop]

An order to refrigerate people?

I'd say, Coldham -- but that was on the March -- Wisbech -- Watlington line, pass. service withdrawn 1968.

 

[John Griffiths]

Chilham?

 

[Purple Train]

Chilham?

Chil(l)'em (Chilham) is indeed correct, your go.

 

[John Griffiths]

Oh, the fuss and trouble of having to think up a cryptic clue in such weather... buries head in hands... contemplates demise.