Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[Topological]

Ah, so you would ban the suggestions of banning things from users who have been to the pub, prior to posting?

If that is directed to me, then no. I see these things as entirely unbannable.

I actually want to ban the thought process that post-ale posting should be discouraged. People should be free to make their own decisions on both. I should be free to encourage ale consumption.

 

[DM352]

The section between Gomshall and Dorking is particularly popular with sport cycling groups, because it was used for the road racing in the 2012 Olympics, and for similar events in subsequent years.

I used to commute eastbound along it quite early in the morning (around 7am) and sometimes found myself behind a group of cyclists which was being followed by the early bus on route 32. There's nowhere at all along that section where a bus can pass a bunch of cyclists!

When I used to cycle in the UK years ago in a group it was a single file with the front person to shout out potholes. It gave space for cars to pass when safe to do so.

When I last visited the UK a couple of years ago drove one of those roads and a group of cyclists were 2-3 across so there was no way to pass with a safety margin. If it was single file would have been no problem

Know cars are bigger now which maybe why cyclist groups take the lane.

In Canada, many rural roads have shoulders which is good for the space but also is where debris can appear which does not agree with bike tyres.

 

[AM9]

When I used to cycle in the UK years ago in a group it was a single file with the front person to shout out potholes. It gave space for cars to pass when safe to do so.

When I last visited the UK a couple of years ago drove one of those roads and a group of cyclists were 2-3 across so there was no way to pass with a safety margin. If it was single file would have been no problem

Know cars are bigger now which maybe why cyclist groups take the lane.

In Canada, many rural roads have shoulders which is good for the space but also is where debris can appear which does not agree with bike tyres.

The experience of regular cyclists is that despite all the publicity of the recent law change specifying that adequate space should be given by motor vehicles when overtaking cyclists, there is still a considerable number of drivers who don't. For a cyclist, it only takes one collision to cause serious injury or even death, just because a driver was impatient or just plain inconsiderate. Just how much delay is it worth taking that chance with another's safety? Consequently, some cyclists remove the driver's option of that by taking the prime position in the lane, (which they are entitled to do as legitimate road users).

 

[jon81uk]

When I last visited the UK a couple of years ago drove one of those roads and a group of cyclists were 2-3 across so there was no way to pass with a safety margin. If it was single file would have been no problem

I still find it hard to get my head round this, if a car is coming towards you in the oncoming lane, then it doesn't matter if the cyclists are two-abreast or single file, you can't overtake on a narrow road. two abreast at least means you've got less distance to go until getting back into your lane.

 

[Richardr]

After consuming several real ales this evening I have concluded that...

I would ban people ranting about things that they would ban, therefore rendering this thread redundant...

I would ban people trying to ban people ranting about the things they would ban ...

 

[Cross City]

I have a bottle of vinegar with a best before date on it. You know, vinegar, that famous preservative?

If it's in a plastic bottle then that'll be why. The acid will eventually leak microplastics into the product.

Same reason why million year old bottled mineral water has a use by date too.

 

[bleeder4]

If it's in a plastic bottle then that'll be why. The acid will eventually leak microplastics into the product.

Same reason why million year old bottled mineral water has a use by date too.

Yes, the first thing I do when I buy mineral water is pour it out into glass bottles instead. Some supermarkets (like Aldi) do actually sell packs of mineral water that are already in glass bottles, but my local one never seems to have much stock of them.

I live in an area where I have a "do not drink" put on my tap water roughly every 2 years or so, so I tend to keep a supply of (glass) bottled water in my fridge all the time.

 

[Drogba11CFC]

Pages that refresh for no reason and wipe your progress.

 

[Peter Mugridge]

Pages that refresh for no reason and wipe your progress.

In a similar vein, pages that jump just as you attempt to click on something with the result that you click on something else entirely.

 

[styles]

In a similar vein, pages that jump just as you attempt to click on something with the result that you click on something else entirely.

A specific subset of this really grinds my gears - when to click a button on a mandatory cookie consent banners and it reloads the page. Somehow people manage to develop consent banners and change what features work on a site based on what works with/without the specified cookies; yet can't work out how to dynamically add/remove that content instead of reloading the page and jumping back to the top. Then I end up clicking something else.

 

[Strat-tastic]

In a similar vein, pages that jump just as you attempt to click on something with the result that you click on something else entirely.

Me too. I'm sure it waits for me to go for the click then changes the page a bit.
Not that I'm paranoid or anything, but it gets me way too often...

 

[Bald Rick]

In a similar vein, pages that jump just as you attempt to click on something with the result that you click on something else entirely.

Yes agreed. For some reason this forum’s advertising banner at the top has been pushing adverts of some frankly racy ladies‘ undergarments; having accidentally clicked on that as the page loads has caused a slightly difficult conversation with Mrs BR whilst she watches the Traitors.

Here’s to hoping it doesn’t happen again. At least not whilst sat next to Mrs BR.

What’s the betting that as soon as she leaves the sofa the adverts change to Saga holidays or some such less exciting offer?

EDIT: The advert has changed to a company offering parts for industrial tools. Great.

 

[Gloster]

A while back I was getting a lot of lingerie adverts, although I wasn’t complaining as there was nobody to have a difficult conversation with. I finally realised that someone I was exchanging e-mails about arcane railway history matters on a regular basis with had his address as an extra added on to his daughter’s lingerie business’ e-mail account.

 

[DM352]

When some websites do the confirm you are a human and request to select pictures for example that contain cars. Upon completion it repeats over and over if you select too quickly!

10 years ago this check was to type in overlapping letters often presented in strange hard to read fonts.

 

[pokemonsuper9]

10 years ago this check was to type in overlapping letters often presented in strange hard to read fonts.

Yes but image recognition got too good, so they keep making increasingly annoying CAPTCHAs (Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart). A couple weeks ago I had one that took me embarrassingly long to figure out.

 

[Broucek]

There are many U.S. American expressions that irritate me, but the one that surpasses all others i.m.o is 'Bathroom' to mean a room with a w.c. and handbasin and, it is very likely, no bath!. Bathroom is very specific; it's a room with a bath in, a very straightforward concept. It's even used on this Forum; apparently someone thought that 810s had rooms with baths in, bet the floor would soon get soaked...

I have never understood the underlying logic of U.S. speech; reference to urination, defecation or, worst of all, death (sorry, 'un-alived') is absolutely prohibited in the land when you can be 'unalived' for the smallest transgression by a freely available gun.

There's a passage in the Bible where king Saul goes into a cave to "Cover his feet" - a eumphemism for a robe-wearer doing a poo!

I'm told that an American translation says "Saul went into the cave to go to the bathroom"

 

[Purple Train]

There's a passage in the Bible where king Saul goes into a cave to "Cover his feet" - a euphemism for a robe-wearer doing a poo!

I'm told that an American translation says "Saul went into the cave to go to the bathroom"

It does indeed! 1 Samuel 24:3. Apparently there is another translation that uses "restroom", which is worse.

(I suppose if I had a hard enough stomach to dig into the matter there may be even more amusing/ridiculous translations out there.)

 

[AM9]

Yes but image recognition got too good, so they keep making increasingly annoying CAPTCHAs (Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart). A couple weeks ago I had one that took me embarrassingly long to figure out.

The problem is that many of the captcha images are so hard to identify the actual contents of the squares.

 

[Gloster]

A fairly minor irritant. All those adverts that pop up about motoring: imploring you to claim for missold loans, to get cheaper insurance, warning of law changes, etc. Why do they always seem to have the driver sitting on the left? It is not that difficult to flip the image before pasting the text on top and, now that the licence disc has gone, it is unlikely that there would be any obvious anachronisms.

 

[Oxfordblues]

I haven't read all 270 pages, so this might have been said before, but I would ban the use of the word "like" by young people in public places. "Like" seems to precede every noun as if it were an all-purpose adjective, but it means nothing. Under my proposal if it was used on television before the watershed it would be bleeped and if on the internet replaced with four asterisks. An interviewee on "Woman's Hour" last week used "like" about 27 times in ten minutes (though I didn't actually count how many). I had to turn the radio off before I screamed!

 

[Floss63]

I haven't read all 270 pages, so this might have been said before, but I would ban the use of the word "like" by young people in public places. "Like" seems to precede every noun as if it were an all-purpose adjective, but it means nothing. Under my proposal if it was used on television before the watershed it would be bleeped and if on the internet replaced with four asterisks. An interviewee on "Woman's Hour" last week used "like" about 27 times in ten minutes (though I didn't actually count how many). I had to turn the radio off before I screamed!

My husband does this and he's 65!

 

[Strat-tastic]

6-7

 

[AM9]

My husband does this and he's 65!

Don't you mean:

My husband does this and he's, like, 65!

 

[Jimini]

6-7

Noooooo!

 

[jon81uk]

I haven't read all 270 pages, so this might have been said before, but I would ban the use of the word "like" by young people in public places. "Like" seems to precede every noun as if it were an all-purpose adjective, but it means nothing. Under my proposal if it was used on television before the watershed it would be bleeped and if on the internet replaced with four asterisks. An interviewee on "Woman's Hour" last week used "like" about 27 times in ten minutes (though I didn't actually count how many). I had to turn the radio off before I screamed!

This is not like a young person thing. It started at least twenty years ago.

 

[High Dyke]

A fairly minor irritant. All those adverts that pop up about motoring: imploring you to claim for missold loans, to get cheaper insurance, warning of law changes, etc. Why do they always seem to have the driver sitting on the left? It is not that difficult to flip the image before pasting the text on top and, now that the licence disc has gone, it is unlikely that there would be any obvious anachronisms.

A bit like the car manufacturers that use publicity videos using left-hand drive vehicles but then put the smallprint disclaimer on the ad about it may not be UK specification. How difficult can it be to produce the correct advert? Other companies can manage it.

 

[Purple Train]

I haven't read all 270 pages, so this might have been said before, but I would ban the use of the word "like" by young people in public places. "Like" seems to precede every noun as if it were an all-purpose adjective, but it means nothing. Under my proposal if it was used on television before the watershed it would be bleeped and if on the internet replaced with four asterisks. An interviewee on "Woman's Hour" last week used "like" about 27 times in ten minutes (though I didn't actually count how many). I had to turn the radio off before I screamed!

Oddly enough I'm attempting to do my coursework on this

 

[Falcon1200]

People who occupy seats at bus stops with no intention of travelling (they don't actually get on the bus when it arrives, a regular sight in Oxford).

 

[Floss63]

Don't you mean:

My husband does this and he's, like, 65!

 

[ls2270]

I haven't read all 270 pages, so this might have been said before, but I would ban the use of the word "like" by young people in public places. "Like" seems to precede every noun as if it were an all-purpose adjective, but it means nothing. Under my proposal if it was used on television before the watershed it would be bleeped and if on the internet replaced with four asterisks. An interviewee on "Woman's Hour" last week used "like" about 27 times in ten minutes (though I didn't actually count how many). I had to turn the radio off before I screamed!

Totally agree…it’s ‘like’ incredibly tedious!