Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[dangie]

E-Scooters.

Nothing wrong in my opinion with e-scooters. I'm 72 and I'd love one.

The problem is the riders not the scooters, and when I say riders I really mean some riders.

 

[Purple Train]

People who damage your car in supermarket car parks, and then just f*** off rather than either reporting their mistake to the supermarket or leaving a note on the car they've damaged with their contact details. I've just had to spend 20mins outside in the cold temporarily patching up my damaged wing mirror, and will have to go round breakers yards to find a replacement in the next few days.

On a tangentially related note, I would like to ban people of the sort who do this:

Once, I had a morning appointment in a town with little cheap car parking and traffic problems, so went up the previous night. A space was found in a quiet cul-de-sac and the car parked accordingly, half on and half off the pavement (as with all the other cars) as the road was narrow.

I came back, after the appointment, to find a typed note on the windscreen. It was a complaint, in what presumably the writer thought was some kind of clever, sarcastic comeback, that pushchairs and wheelchairs would have been unable to get past the car. It contained at least one grocer's apostrophe, at least one error relating to commas, and - worst of all - the whole thing was enclosed in unnecessary quotation. Sadly I couldn't pinpoint which house it had come from, otherwise they would have found it shoved back in their letterbox with an accompanying note to improve their dreadful grammar.

I shall leave the discerning reader to work out whether I am more annoyed at the grammar issues or the complaint at parking in line with all the residents' cars (i.e. being a peasant and an interloper in their idyllic cul-de-sac)!

 

[Peter C]

I'd like to ban Royal Mail's redirection service phoneline reminding me every couple of minutes that they're thankful for me 'showing my kindness and consideration for our team' because I've not hung up the phone after being on hold for half an hour... and the bloody awful music being played too!

-Peter

 

[gg1]

I'd like to ban Royal Mail's redirection service phoneline reminding me every couple of minutes that they're thankful for me 'showing my kindness and consideration for our team' because I've not hung up the phone after being on hold for half an hour... and the bloody awful music being played too!

-Peter

Related to that, call centres where instead of having the annoying messages playing over the equally annoying music, the music abruptly stops giving you false hope that someone may actually be about answer the phone for a second or two before the automated message kicks in.

 

[dangie]

Related to that, call centres....

Call centres where whatever time of day you phone they apologise with 'We are experiencing a high volume of calls.... blah blah blah...'

We had to phone Nationwide's emergency number a couple of nights ago at 1130pm. We got that same high volume of calls message.

 

[nlogax]

Gatwick airport arrivals. What an absolute dirge. By the time you've waited for the steps to be positioned, the bus to arrive, the 10mph journey around what feels like half the airport's aprons and airside roads before being ushered into a doorway and then negotiating the ratrun of corridors, stairs, past the Reclaim Belt of Hell (that's #11 for those that are familiar) and spat out from a hole in the ground into departures, finally followed by the new station and a couple of hundred passengers milling around in front of the barriers and effectively hiding them.. you get the picture. I'm so tired.

 

[dangie]

Heinz Baked Beans.

For many years Heinz were our baked beans of choice. Then we discovered Branston beans. Much nicer & with thicker more creamy sauce.

Last week on our ‘Big Shop’ there weren’t any Branston beans so we resorted back to Heinz. Big mistake. Less taste and more thin sauce.

Thankfully Branston Beans were back on the shelves this morning.

 

[Gloster]

Heinz Baked Beans.

For many years Heinz were our baked beans of choice. Then we discovered Branston beans. Much nicer & with thicker more creamy sauce.

Last week on our ‘Big Shop’ there weren’t any Branston beans so we resorted back to Heinz. Big mistake. Less taste and more thin sauce.

Thankfully Branston Beans were back on the shelves this morning.

The same can be said for the beans with vegetarian/vegan sausages. The Branston ones were good, solid sausages while the Heinz ones were limp and floppy. Unfortunately, most of the supermarkets seem to have stopped stocking the Branston ones.

 

[Strat-tastic]

Spotify from auto playing music whenever I look at the app on my phone. I've often got another app playing and only want to browse Spotify

 

[Lucan]

YouTube shorts. Why is YouTube pushing these down our throats? When you search for a subject you can select a list of shorts but you can't select a list of non-shorts. Associated with this is the use of vertical format by people filming, apparently because they can't turn their smart phone horizontal. It might suit if the subject is a single standing person but not a general scene.

 

[GatwickDepress]

YouTube shorts. Why is YouTube pushing these down our throats? When you search for a subject you can select a list of shorts but you can't select a list of non-shorts. Associated with this is the use of vertical format by people filming, apparently because they can't turn their smart phone horizontal. It might suit if the subject is a single standing person but not a general scene.

On a similar vein, YouTube search results are absolutely useless. You get a few relevant results and then a huge section of unrelated guff that the algorithm deems you want.

 

[TheSmiths82]

I am starting to get fed up of shops that have market places on their website. B&Q is a classic example, I am trying to find an item but it is showing lots of results of third party sellers, if I wanted that I would go to Ebay or Amazon etc. I only want to look at items I can pick up from B&Q and there is no way of filtering the items.

On the same theme I am getting fed up of shops like Curry's that no longer seem to have any stock in their stores, instead they seem to be just one giant showroom trying to sell finance and warranties. I find it much easier just to pick up large items rather than relay on increasingly unreliable delivery companies.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Heinz Baked Beans.

For many years Heinz were our baked beans of choice. Then we discovered Branston beans. Much nicer & with thicker more creamy sauce.

Last week on our ‘Big Shop’ there weren’t any Branston beans so we resorted back to Heinz. Big mistake. Less taste and more thin sauce.

Thankfully Branston Beans were back on the shelves this morning.

Controversial take: Heinz were only ever the top seller because they were ubiquitous and had a decent ad campaign behind them, not because they were "high quality". See also, PG Tips or Yorkshire Tea; Nescafé; Walkers Crisps. We had a thread (started by me IIRC) on things like this around two years ago.

 

[Gloster]

Flickr changing a word in a search to a different one and when you go back to type the correct one in it offers you the one you originally typed. If it wasn’t valid five seconds ago, why is it now?

 

[43096]

Flickr changing a word in a search to a different one and when you go back to type the correct one in it offers you the one you originally typed. If it wasn’t valid five seconds ago, why is it now?

I'll upgrade that one just to Flickr's search function in general. It's appalling.

 

[Peter C]

Something else I'd ban - rude shopkeepers/staff in independent/small shops (essentially any shops where it's pretty much just one room and you're almost obliged to talk to the owner as there's no-one else in). I know you can get some really miserable people in large chain places as well, but at least there you can usually find another member of staff. I've had loads of brilliant shopping experiences in independent shops, but there are some I've been to which are run by people who seem to like being grumpy and I just don't get why they bother as it spoils the experience of shopping there. <rant over>

-Peter

 

[Purple Train]

YouTube shorts. Why is YouTube pushing these down our throats? When you search for a subject you can select a list of shorts but you can't select a list of non-shorts. Associated with this is the use of vertical format by people filming, apparently because they can't turn their smart phone horizontal. It might suit if the subject is a single standing person but not a general scene.

Plus they're just really, really badly done. The comments scrolling function doesn't work, you can't move back or forward, they look hideous, and every time I try and click something it switches to a different video.

 

[dangie]

To quote a post off my towns F*cebook page:

‘Is there anywhere local I can take my dog to see Santa? it’s her first Christmas and I want to get a photo of her with Santa! Thanks’

 

[Purple Train]

To quote a post off my towns F*cebook page:

‘Is there anywhere local I can take my dog to see Santa? it’s her first Christmas and I want to get a photo of her with Santa! Thanks’

Just be thankful said person doesn't have rats. Or goldfish. Or a ferret. Or a snake.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Just be thankful said person doesn't have rats. Or goldfish. Or a ferret. Or a snake.

Rats make lovely pets, other than them not living very long. Rat owners also tend not to leave a big mess on the pavement, or let their furry friends drool all over random strangers in public.

 

[jfollows]

Something else I'd ban - rude shopkeepers/staff in independent/small shops (essentially any shops where it's pretty much just one room and you're almost obliged to talk to the owner as there's no-one else in). I know you can get some really miserable people in large chain places as well, but at least there you can usually find another member of staff. I've had loads of brilliant shopping experiences in independent shops, but there are some I've been to which are run by people who seem to like being grumpy and I just don't get why they bother as it spoils the experience of shopping there. <rant over>

-Peter

I agree with you, but it does kind of work both ways.
I was once in my local Sainsbury (not independent, I know, but I'm getting there!) and the person in front of me in the checkout queue completely ignored the checkout lady, to the extent that when she offered him the receipt he didn't acknowledge it in any way, ignored her, and walked off. I always make trivial conversation - this time of year it's about my sympathy for them having to suffer Christmas music all day long, for example.
But someone opened an "independent" wine store in Wilmslow a few years ago. Fair enough, I thought, and in due course I called in. One staff member only, too busy fiddling with the stock on the shelves to acknowledge my existence. Nothing, not a quick "good morning" or even a "let me know if you need any help" or whatever. So I left and, no surprise, the place closed down a couple of months later.
Shops are all about people, if I make the effort to go it's because I want a human interaction, perhaps I want advice, at least I want to be acknowledged. Otherwise I can buy on-line, it's easy and no need to talk to anyone. Shops that don't realise this deserve to go out of business.

 

[Purple Train]

Rats make lovely pets, other than them not living very long. Rat owners also tend not to leave a big mess on the pavement, or let their furry friends drool all over random strangers in public.

Nevertheless, I would not like to be the Father Christmas who was brought a rat for a photoshoot...

 

[dangie]

Why do other peoples bathroom scales always read high….??

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Oh well. Made it to 18th December before I was Whamageddon’d. Thank you Ken Bruce.

 

[75A]

Why do other peoples bathroom scales always read high….??

They always do in the Doctors surgery as well.
+ I seem to be getter shorter as well, now under 2m for the first time since I was a child.

 

[Peter C]

I agree with you, but it does kind of work both ways.
I was once in my local Sainsbury (not independent, I know, but I'm getting there!) and the person in front of me in the checkout queue completely ignored the checkout lady, to the extent that when she offered him the receipt he didn't acknowledge it in any way, ignored her, and walked off. I always make trivial conversation - this time of year it's about my sympathy for them having to suffer Christmas music all day long, for example.
But someone opened an "independent" wine store in Wilmslow a few years ago. Fair enough, I thought, and in due course I called in. One staff member only, too busy fiddling with the stock on the shelves to acknowledge my existence. Nothing, not a quick "good morning" or even a "let me know if you need any help" or whatever. So I left and, no surprise, the place closed down a couple of months later.
Shops are all about people, if I make the effort to go it's because I want a human interaction, perhaps I want advice, at least I want to be acknowledged. Otherwise I can buy on-line, it's easy and no need to talk to anyone. Shops that don't realise this deserve to go out of business.

Oh I completely agree with you. My original post was sparked by a grumpy owner of a local independent bookshop (I went so far as to check online reviews of his place after my visit, just to make sure I wasn't being unreasonable in my dislike, and turns out most reviewers felt the same, but I suppose that may be because people are more likely to review somewhere online if they've had a poor experience?) - he completely blanked me and my friend even after I smiled and said hello, but he remained grumpy at the back of the shop (and complained we 'weren't listening' for not immediately following his mumbled comments).

-Peter

 

[Sealink]

"We would like to apologise"

...well apologise then...

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: 18 Dec 2023 ==

Heinz Baked Beans.

For many years Heinz were our baked beans of choice. Then we discovered Branston beans. Much nicer & with thicker more creamy sauce.

Last week on our ‘Big Shop’ there weren’t any Branston beans so we resorted back to Heinz. Big mistake. Less taste and more thin sauce.

Thankfully Branston Beans were back on the shelves this morning.

Totally agree re Heinz. I found a brand last year called Golden Country and they are the best baked beans I have ever tasted. Unfortunately I can't seem to find them these days.

Baked Beans with Tomato Sauce | Food | Wholesalers & Suppliers UK | Sun Mark

Looking for a wholesaler or a supplier of food products including baked beans with tomato sauce? Sun Mark based in the UK should be your one-stop destination. Contact us for more details.

sunmark.co.uk

If you want less taste and thin sauce for for supermarkets Aldi price match version. At least you aren't paying Heinz prices!

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Oh and any travel article about a new flight route.

"xxx airline takes off with new service to..."

 

[Mcr Warrior]

I found a brand last year called Golden Country and they are the best baked beans I have ever tasted. Unfortunately I can't seem to find them these days.

Think they (Sun Mark Ltd., based in Middlesex) produce mainly for the export market.

 

[Richard Scott]

"We would like to apologise"

...well apologise then...

Issue being it's a computerised voice so not as if a person is saying it......

 

[Sealink]

Issue being it's a computerised voice so not as if a person is saying it......

I've seen plenty of people say it too, and I am sure Southern's computerised voice says "We are sorry for the disruption..."

 

[VauxhallandI]

“For me, personally“ well of course is personal you’ve already said “for me”

I think we’ve strayed off comedic issues