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Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

Gloster

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May have mentioned this upthread previously, but have often wondered just how these souped-up noise polluters manage to get their cars through an annual MOT. (Or maybe they don't!) :s

I have been told that in some cases they put proper silencers on for the MOT and take them off again afterwards. Whether this true and common, or just done by a few, I know not: it does sound like a lot of work. Leastways, it is always a lot of work when the garage replaces your silencer.
 
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61653 HTAFC

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People who walk up to a pedestrian crossing, press the button, THEN look up and down the road, see nothing coming, then cross the road. Why not look first, see nothing coming, then cross the road. Don’t press the button…!!
Pedestrian crossings that only change to green for pedestrians when there's a big enough gap in traffic that anyone able-bodied and under the age of 90 will be able to cross without the aid of the lights anyway.

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Drivers (mainly BMW drivers) who decide to rev up, just as you're walking in front of them on a pedestrian crossing.

Suitable punishment would be cubification of said motor vehicle.
If anyone does this while I'm crossing, it causes the sudden development of a twinge in my ankle, causing me to slow down dramatically. <D
 

Lucan

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have been told that in some cases they put proper silencers on for the MOT and take them off again afterwards. Whether this true and common, or just done by a few, I know not: it does sound like a lot of work.
Not so much work on a motorbike. Even on a car it is not so hard if you do it regularly and have a proper flange joint rather than the usual crude sleeve joint.

I live on a "scenic" route loved by motorcyclists (it twists and turns - and has death statistics notices on it) and some of the bikes make ear-splitting noises. I have actually doubled up with ear pain, fingers in ears, on a couple of occasions. One regularly passing bike makes an explosion as loud as a shotgun every couple of hundred yards as it goes along : "highly tuned" I guess. No MoT tester would touch those bikes as-is.
 

dangie

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Pedestrian crossings that only change to green for pedestrians when there's a big enough gap in traffic that anyone able-bodied and under the age of 90 will be able to cross without the aid of the lights anyway.
While driving I have absolutely no problem waiting at a pedestrian crossing for someone to cross no matter how slow they are. My grind is having to stop at the crossing when there’s no one there as they’ve already crossed.
 

61653 HTAFC

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While driving I have absolutely no problem waiting at a pedestrian crossing for someone to cross no matter how slow they are. My grind is having to stop at the crossing when there’s no one there as they’ve already crossed.
I agree on that front, but your gripe should be with the council worker who programmed the crossing, not the pedestrian who crossed when there was a suitable gap. I'm glad we don't have "jaywalking" laws in this country that would mean having to wait to cross an empty road.

There's a crossing near me that only changes when there's a massive gap in traffic in both directions, meaning you can be waiting for several minutes before it changes. On the other hand there was one near one of my student houses (on Wigan Road, Ormskirk) that started the change cycle the moment you pressed the button, regardless of traffic flow. Why can't they all be like the latter?
 

BanburyBlue

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Supermarket shoppers who appear to be unable to return their trolley back to a ‘trolley parking place’ instead of leaving it n the middle of the car park.
Don't get me started on that one. And indeed, always seem to leave it in the middle of a parking space.
 

AM9

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May have mentioned this upthread previously, but have often wondered just how these souped-up noise polluters manage to get their cars through an annual MOT. (Or maybe they don't!) :s
I think that their owners know where the MoT examination is perfectly OK an the main safety test but regards the 'cosmetic' legal requirements as 'optional'. Typically this might not only ignore noise legislation, but other matters such as headlight power and colour, windscreen/window tint, rear light cluster designs, etc , despite their potential to cause confusion with other road users and affect the health of those in the locality. Some of these things are only picked up at a police roadside stoppage when the driver is told to remove/correct them, but it is extremely rare for them to end up in court with a follow through to the tester's liability. The custom car fraternity would be whining away to the media about 'persecution of motorists and their hobby'. :rolleyes:
 
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43096

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May have mentioned this upthread previously, but have often wondered just how these souped-up noise polluters manage to get their cars through an annual MOT. (Or maybe they don't!) :s
Then when you actually see what they’re driving it’s a Nissan Micra.
 

GusB

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Drivers of fat SUV-type vehicles who absolutely refuse to move even slightly to the left on single track roads where there is actually enough room for two cars to pass, thereby forcing me into the verge. Oh, and those wider bits with "Passing Place" signs are clearly only for us lowly plebs to observe. Perish the thought that you should get your X5/XC90/Range Rover or whatever 4x4 even slightly dirty.

Oh, midgies too. Exterminate the lot of them.
 

D6130

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Drivers of any vehicles who insist on driving through flooded streets at full speed on rainy days, soaking pedestrians walking on the adjacent pavement. Yes, I'm looking at you Audi driver (more lazy stereotyping!) who soaked my clean-on fawn coloured trousers with muddy, oily water in Church Street, Halifax this afternoon. <(
 

61653 HTAFC

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Drivers of any vehicles who insist on driving through flooded streets at full speed on rainy days, soaking pedestrians walking on the adjacent pavement. Yes, I'm looking at you Audi driver (more lazy stereotyping!) who soaked my clean-on fawn coloured trousers with muddy, oily water in Church Street, Halifax this afternoon. <(
I'm in no way defending or excusing the behaviour you describe, but (much like the pedestrian crossing discussion) can we also "ban" councils who don't maintain their road surfaces and drainage systems to a satisfactory condition which prevents standing water build-up unless there's a particularly out-of-the-ordinary amount of rain in a short period of time...
 

Peter Mugridge

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I'm in no way defending or excusing the behaviour you describe, but (much like the pedestrian crossing discussion) can we also "ban" councils who don't maintain their road surfaces and drainage systems to a satisfactory condition which prevents standing water build-up unless there's a particularly out-of-the-ordinary amount of rain in a short period of time...

Below, is a picture of one of many such examples in Epsom.

It's just amazing how @HighwaysSurrey can engineer things so precisely that the puddles align perfectly with the crossings in #Epsom. This is one of the smaller puddles in town, by the way. There's some real monsters elsewhere in the area.


1689375479721.png
 

Purple Train

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People who don't start to cross the road when the light turns to green, often because they have their head buried in their phone.
Or if they're me and therefore looking perpetually at their shoes :D

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Drivers of any vehicles who insist on driving through flooded streets at full speed on rainy days, soaking pedestrians walking on the adjacent pavement. Yes, I'm looking at you Audi driver (more lazy stereotyping!) who soaked my clean-on fawn coloured trousers with muddy, oily water in Church Street, Halifax this afternoon. <(
It amuses the small children, so I enjoy witnessing such events and briefly becoming one again.
 

dangie

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Hollywood actors have gone on strike which could last for months.

Well they could consider getting a ‘proper’ job.
I class acting in the same vein as sport. It’s a hobby or pastime. You do it for enjoyment not for material gain.
 

52290

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I'm sure a biologist would disagree and say that they are an essential part of the food chain.
If Midges didn't exist what would they have called the former station on the Preston to Ormskirk line, not to mention the pub next to it?
 

nlogax

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Well they could consider getting a ‘proper’ job.
I class acting in the same vein as sport. It’s a hobby or pastime. You do it for enjoyment not for material gain.

Are you against paying to watch TV or films at the cinema? Would you rather actors gave their time and talent for free because you consider their trade as 'not a proper job'?
 

D6130

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If Midges didn't exist what would they have called the former station on the Preston to Ormskirk line, not to mention the pub next to it?
....or the appropriately named hamlet of Midgehole, beside the Hebden Water a couple of miles North of Hebden Bridge.
 

Mcr Warrior

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If Midges didn't exist what would they have called the former station on the Preston to Ormskirk line, not to mention the pub next to it?
Name origin of the relatively tiny place in Lancashire seems to be from the 14th century 'Miggehalgh', with Old English origins, and probably meaning "Land or enclosure infested with midges". (A "halh" or "halgh" or "haugh" more usually means a nook or enclosure, or water meadow, or similar, rather than a hall).
 

xotGD

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I want to ban restaurants from playing the totally awful Happy Birthday song over loudspeakers when they bring out a cake for one of the diners.

Three times this happened on Thursday evening. THREE TIMES!!!

I do not go out to be subjected to this horror.
 

AM9

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Or if they're me and therefore looking perpetually at their shoes :D

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It amuses the small children, so I enjoy witnessing such events and briefly becoming one again.
Irrespective of how the puddle formed, it is an offence to not take reasonable steps to avoid splashing pedestrians.
 

yorksrob

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Irrespective of how the puddle formed, it is an offence to not take reasonable steps to avoid splashing pedestrians.

I once had a colleague who was a copper previously and he said he once booked someone for doing just that !
 

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