Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[Techniquest]

2 Questions:

a) Can’t or won’t?
b) the house or themselves?

A) A combination really, they're all able-bodied people but all 4 of them seem to have missed basic hygiene lessons!

B) Again, a bit of a combination but mostly the house. I'd not mind as such, but I cleaned it before I went away, and the hit of stale smell upon opening the door yesterday was embarassing. Especially as I'd had a family member popping upstairs for the facilities, it wasn't good. Mind you, I shouldn't be surprised as all 4 smoke and one of them smokes stuff that he shouldn't!

I need to get out of this house I think, I'm not sure how but it's got to happen!

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Can I ban companies (in this case Specsavers) from having a system where instead of answering the phone when you ring, you just get a recorded message saying your number has been logged and they'll get back to you.

Great, now I have to wait around for an interminable amount of time, and can't start doing anything productive until you've rung back!

 

[duncanp]

Can I ban companies (in this case Specsavers) from having a system where instead of answering the phone when you ring, you just get a recorded message saying your number has been logged and they'll get back to you.

Great, now I have to wait around for an interminable amount of time, and can't start doing anything productive until you've rung back!

At least there is some small hope that Specsavers will actually get back to you unlike HMRC, where you get a long recorded message which might just as well say "...**** off, we're busy...", and you then get cut off.

But you can of course ban Specsavers from receiving your custom by taking your business elsewhere.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

At least there is some small hope that Specsavers will actually get back to you unlike HMRC, where you get a long recorded message which might just as well say "...**** off, we're busy...", and you then get cut off.

But you can of course ban Specsavers from receiving your custom by taking your business elsewhere.

In this case I can't... as it's for a DVLA-related visual acuity test!

 

[duncanp]

In this case I can't... as it's for a DVLA-related visual acuity test!

One thing I would like to ban HMRC from doing is having a pointless spiel on the recorded message that they play before you get cut off, along the lines of

"...Did you know that you can do A,B and C on our website?..."

Yes I know I can do A,B and C on your website, but the reason I am phoning you is because I want to do X (in my case paying additional National Insurance contributions to top up my state pension) and this is NOT possible on the website.

 

[Purple Train]

I'd like to ban mobile phones that a) cannot fit in one's pocket and b) do not have the capacity to send a blank text message.

 

[nlogax]

I'd like to ban mobile phones that a) cannot fit in one's pocket and b) do not have the capacity to send a blank text message.

That's quite...specific?

 

[Purple Train]

That's quite...specific?

I use it (because I have an old mobile phone which still has the capacity) to show someone that I have read and acknowledged their message/am still alive/know that they're still alive etc. I don't think I'm the only person that does so.

 

[daveo]

I use it (because I have an old mobile phone which still has the capacity) to show someone that I have read and acknowledged their message/am still alive/know that they're still alive etc. I don't think I'm the only person that does so.

A thumbs up emoji does the same job even better

 

[Lucan]

Spectators in supermarkets.

 

[PeterY]

I'd like to ban mobile phones that a) cannot fit in one's pocket and b) do not have the capacity to send a blank text message.

One of the many reasons I don't have a smart phone., I'm worried it'd slip out of my pocket. If I've sent a blank message it's because I've done it in error.
I wish they'd make smartphones without speakers so the only way people could listen to their music , is though headphones. I hate the tinnyness of having to hear/suffer other peoples music on public transport.

 

[Darandio]

I wish they'd make smartphones without speakers so the only way people could listen to their music , is though headphones. I hate the tinnyness of having to hear/suffer other peoples music on public transport.

That would make life quite tricky for many. Phone ringing? Cannot hear it. Use your phone as an alarm? Late for work. Lost your phone and need to use the locator? Tough luck. Speakerphone? Forget it.

 

[duncanp]

One of the many reasons I don't have a smart phone., I'm worried it'd slip out of my pocket. If I've sent a blank message it's because I've done it in error.
I wish they'd make smartphones without speakers so the only way people could listen to their music , is though headphones. I hate the tinnyness of having to hear/suffer other peoples music on public transport.

I see people put their smartphone into the back pocket of their trousers.

This gives rise to the risk that you will sit down without taking the phone out of the back pocket first, thereby damaging it.

Also if any part of the phone is visible whilst in the back pocket, you might as well have a big sign saying "..PICKPOCKETS, PLEASE HELP YOURSELF.."

 

[Techniquest]

I see people put their smartphone into the back pocket of their trousers.

This gives rise to the risk that you will sit down without taking the phone out of the back pocket first, thereby damaging it.

Also if any part of the phone is visible whilst in the back pocket, you might as well have a big sign saying "..PICKPOCKETS, PLEASE HELP YOURSELF.."

Yes that's never made sense to me. Nor has the current trend seen with some people of putting their phone (and indeed other stuff like packets of sweets) inside the front waistband of their leggings/joggers/other clothing. Sanitary that be not!

 

[Bald Rick]

I see people put their smartphone into the back pocket of their trousers.

This gives rise to the risk that you will sit down without taking the phone out of the back pocket first, thereby damaging it.

Also if any part of the phone is visible whilst in the back pocket, you might as well have a big sign saying "..PICKPOCKETS, PLEASE HELP YOURSELF.."

It’s where I keep mine. Sit down with it all the time - on purpose. Never damaged. It’s designed that way…

 

[ABB125]

This has probably been mentioned before, but I'll say it anyway!

Drivers who change lanes (where more than one is available in the direction of travel) without indicating, particularly when moving into a "faster" lane. Bonus points for doing so into a gap that's barely longer than their car...

 

[Busaholic]

Spectators in supermarkets.

What about New Statesmen?

 

[birchesgreen]

What is a spectator in a supermarket? Is that like trolley spotting?

 

[Lucan]

What is a spectator in a supermarket? Is that like trolley spotting?

People present who are not actually shopping. Most often a single companion of a shopper, but I have seen as many as four people (adults) accompanying a fifth who is the only one with a trolley and actually putting things in it.

My local supermarket seems to double as a social club. Such groups often come across other similar groups, usually in the exit gangway from the checkouts, or in the bread aisle for some reason, and they all seem to know each other and settle there for long and loud chats.

 

[Techniquest]

People present who are not actually shopping. Most often a single companion of a shopper, but I have seen as many as four people (adults) accompanying a fifth who is the only one with a trolley and actually putting things in it.

My local supermarket seems to double as a social club. Such groups often come across other similar groups, usually in the exit gangway from the checkouts, or in the bread aisle for some reason, and they all seem to know each other and settle there for long and loud chats.

I know this problem only too well, quite why anyone would choose to spend so long socialising in a supermarket confuses me. So many better places to do so!

 

[birchesgreen]

People present who are not actually shopping. Most often a single companion of a shopper, but I have seen as many as four people (adults) accompanying a fifth who is the only one with a trolley and actually putting things in it.

Ah i see, yes i understand this. There was a trio rabbiting on about their tennis club last week (was Waitrose after all), i was a bit annoyed as they were stood right in front of the gin shelf which i wanted to get to.

 

[duncanp]

People present who are not actually shopping. Most often a single companion of a shopper, but I have seen as many as four people (adults) accompanying a fifth who is the only one with a trolley and actually putting things in it.

My local supermarket seems to double as a social club. Such groups often come across other similar groups, usually in the exit gangway from the checkouts, or in the bread aisle for some reason, and they all seem to know each other and settle there for long and loud chats.

If we are talking about banning certain people from supermarkets, can we start with those who insist on parking their trolley in front of (eg.) the baked beans whilst they have a long conversation on their phone, thus blocking access for everyone else.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

If we are talking about banning certain people from supermarkets, can we start with those who insist on parking their trolley in front of (eg.) the baked beans whilst they have a long conversation on their phone, thus blocking access for everyone else.

Yes!

Also people who let their kids run around the aisles as if it's a playground.

 

[Purple Train]

If we are talking about banning certain people from supermarkets, can we start with those who insist on parking their trolley in front of (eg.) the baked beans whilst they have a long conversation on their phone, thus blocking access for everyone else.

I'd like to ban excessive use of devil-face emoticons after posts

 

[duncanp]

I'd like to ban excessive use of devil-face emoticons after posts

But not the used of "twisted" emoticons, it would seem.

 

[Purple Train]

But not the used of "twisted" emoticons, it would seem.

Indeed

 

[Busaholic]

People present who are not actually shopping. Most often a single companion of a shopper, but I have seen as many as four people (adults) accompanying a fifth who is the only one with a trolley and actually putting things in it.

My local supermarket seems to double as a social club. Such groups often come across other similar groups, usually in the exit gangway from the checkouts, or in the bread aisle for some reason, and they all seem to know each other and settle there for long and loud chats.

Maybe they're decoys keeping an eye out for shoplifters, and have hidden earpieces that galvanise them into action. Alternatively, they might be a cabal of conspiracy theorists monitoring remaining covid mask use .

 

[yorksrob]

I get that pubs have to do food, but why do I always seem to end up stuck in the same room as the person who has to put fifteen litres of vinegar on their food, thus stinking out the whole pub.

 

[Busaholic]

I get that pubs have to do food, but why do I always seem to end up stuck in the same room as the person who has to put fifteen litres of vinegar on their food, thus stinking out the whole pub.

I'd have a ban on vinegar anywhere other than a greasy spoon or fish and chippie, unless it was wine vinegar of course.

 

[yorksrob]

I'd have a ban on vinegar anywhere other than a greasy spoon or fish and chippie, unless it was wine vinegar of course.

Indeed. I would happily agree with a laissez-faire attitude towards vinegar in those settings !