Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[Ediswan]

25 page books of instructions for a new electrical item that has a maximum 3 pages of English!!!

Pages which are mostly "Important Safety Information".

 

[D821]

Adverts for washing up liquid or dishwasher tablets where they show something with baked in dirt being cleaned in one easy wash.

I'm off to scrub one of the oven dishes from the roast yesterday that the dishwasher failed to take care of.

 

[PeterY]

Can we add "babe" to that?

My lady friends calls me babe. Do I like it....NO. I know she uses it as a term of endearment but I'd rather be called Peter .

 

[Strat-tastic]

Can we add "babe" to that?

And buddy.

 

[Gloster]

Or ‘star’ as thanks for the most trivial matter.

 

[dangie]

“I’m running late….”

 

[xotGD]

Let's just stick to referring to each other as "Comrade".

 

[AM9]

25 page books of instructions for a new electrical item that has a maximum 3 pages of English!!!

Presumably you would be happier if those manufacturers who provide multilingual user manuals:

a) charged customers more for producing a different manual for the language in erach of the countries that the item is sold in​

or​

b) gave up their export market and charged more for the same product​

or even​

c) went out of business!​

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: 10 Apr 2023 ==

Or ‘star’ as thanks for the most trivial matter.

I object to people that I've never met before calling me 'mate'.

 

[birchesgreen]

I object to people that I've never met before calling me 'mate'.

Me too, as Dave Allan said, you only get called mate by people who want to punch your face in.

I'll just stick to bab.

 

[Gloster]

News headlines that say ‘Legendary actor dies’ (as has just appeared on my news feed) or similar. If he was that legendary they could print his name as everybody would recognise it. (It was somebody that I have never heard of from a programme I have never seen.)

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Buckingham Palace?

Too soon!

 

[daveo]

And buddy.

or specifically bud. I'm not an embryonic flower.

 

[py_megapixel]

Web services where the functionality varies between platforms and versions where there is no technical reason for it.

For example:

• The personal version of Microsoft Onedrive has an option to create and edit a plain text file from the web interface. The business version has the same text editor built in, but you can't create a new file, only edit one you've already uploaded. Why?
• Spotify for Android has a button on the homepage to show your recently played songs/artists. The browser version of Spotify (intended for use on desktops/laptops) has a section for your most frequent songs/artists. But you can't view the recent ones in the browser version, or the most frequent ones on a phone. Again, why?

 

[D6130]

My lady friends calls me babe. Do I like it....NO. I know she uses it as a term of endearment but I'd rather be called Peter

How many lady friends do you have?....and does she know about the others?

 

[duncanp]

Web services where the functionality varies between platforms and versions where there is no technical reason for it.

For example:

• The personal version of Microsoft Onedrive has an option to create and edit a plain text file from the web interface. The business version has the same text editor built in, but you can't create a new file, only edit one you've already uploaded. Why?
• Spotify for Android has a button on the homepage to show your recently played songs/artists. The browser version of Spotify (intended for use on desktops/laptops) has a section for your most frequent songs/artists. But you can't view the recent ones in the browser version, or the most frequent ones on a phone. Again, why?

Yes, why can't you make video calls from the Web version of WhatsApp, whereas you can do so on a mobile phone or tablet?

Can we also ban companies from making it more difficult to access the web version than the mobile version?

Yes, Royal Bank of Scotland, if two factor authentication is so important ".. for security reasons..", why do you insist on using 2FA for the web version but not for the mobile app?

And then not send the one time passcode when you say you have sent it.

 

[Ediswan]

Yes, Royal Bank of Scotland, if two factor authentication is so important ".. for security reasons..", why do you insist on using 2FA for the web version but not for the mobile app?

RBS may consider that the initial setup/registration process for the app makes the phone itself a "something you have" factor. Add in "something you know". 2FA done.

 

[birchesgreen]

2FA is kind of pointless if you have a Mac and iPhone, as texts appear on the Mac anyway. Most of the time it will even autofill the field for you with the "secure" code.

 

[nlogax]

Currently irked by the old school irritant that is spam email. Has Gmail's spam filter gone on strike in recent days? It seems to think every Ninja Air Fryer I've allegedly won is genuine.

 

[py_megapixel]

2FA is kind of pointless if you have a Mac and iPhone, as texts appear on the Mac anyway. Most of the time it will even autofill the field for you with the "secure" code.

That's no worse than the "skip 2FA on this device" tickbox that a lot of sites give you (and quite a few have ticked by default, meaning I have to remember to manually disable it every time )

 

[61653 HTAFC]

One aspect of 2FA that I find completely counter-intuitive is on my Samsung mobile... it unlocks with either a drawn pattern or a fingerprint- usually the fingerprint but every so often it'll say "Draw your pattern for extra security"... Now I haven't worked out how many combinations of pattern you could make on a 3x3 grid, but in order to be MORE secure than a fingerprint there would need to be upwards of six billion different possibilities. Even if there were that many possibilities, it would be easier for some miscreant to get lucky and guess my pattern than it would to create an artificial digit with my fingerprint on it... or indeed to remove one of my actual fingers.

 

[bearhugger]

Also, instructions for electronics which tell you to "follow the on-screen instructions". Would it really be that hard to put the instructions in the booklet as well?

I've just downloaded a PDF manual for my Fender guitar practice amplifier. 8 pages in total - only 1 page to tell me what the various knobs, inputs & outputs do!
And today I went for a couple of cards in the Card Factory- as the till attendant hands me the reciept they helpfully point out a QR / Aztec cpde to fill in a survey.

 

[Acey]

I've just downloaded a PDF manual for my Fender guitar practice amplifier. 8 pages in total - only 1 page to tell me what the various knobs, inputs & outputs do!
And today I went for a couple of cards in the Card Factory- as the till attendant hands me the reciept they helpfully point out a QR / Aztec cpde to fill in a survey.

You only need two knobs-
1-ON/OFF
2-LOUD/LOUDER

 

[Meerkat]

Manual? What kind of man are you! Just push all the buttons to find out what they do……….then get the manual out to see how to fix it.

 

[birchesgreen]

Manual is what you turn to after hours of trying to work it out yourself, usually after much swearing and threats of violence against the inanimate object.

 

[bearhugger]

You only need two knobs-
1-ON/OFF
2-LOUD/LOUDER

Manual? What kind of man are you! Just push all the buttons to find out what they do……….then get the manual out to see how to fix it.

Manual is what you turn to after hours of trying to work it out yourself, usually after much swearing and threats of violence against the inanimate object.

I was trying to work out how to turn it to 11!

 

[dgl]

My email provider supports sign in with a code that is sent to you, though in trying it I never seemed to get the text and though it was borked until I logged into my emails and found that the code gets sent to the email account I am trying to log into!, need to change the settings on that if it's possible as currently that feature is useless.

 

[dangie]

Yesterday we ordered some new furniture & carpet (wife’s instructions) from a well known national furniture and carpet retailer. As is normal nowadays we had to go online for a full breakdown of the payment receipt.

Logged on to the retailers website and entered our details. Details incorrect, try again. Same again details incorrect try again. Third time lucky? No such luck details incorrect. Unfortunately after three goes we were locked out.

However there was a telephone number. We phoned it. Recorded message. ‘Please enter your 16 digit reference number’. We didn’t have one. There as no way to get onto the website. Luckily the shop wasn’t far away so off we went. Saw the salesman and explained. ‘Oh it always does that‘ he said. ‘Try again tomorrow’. I told him I had a better idea, you print us a receipt.

Half an hour later we walked out with our receipt. Why is modern life so difficult…..??

 

[duncanp]

Yesterday we ordered some new furniture & carpet (wife’s instructions) from a well known national furniture and carpet retailer. As is normal nowadays we had to go online for a full breakdown of the payment receipt.

Logged on to the retailers website and entered our details. Details incorrect, try again. Same again details incorrect try again. Third time lucky? No such luck details incorrect. Unfortunately after three goes we were locked out.

However there was a telephone number. We phoned it. Recorded message. ‘Please enter your 16 digit reference number’. We didn’t have one. There as no way to get onto the website. Luckily the shop wasn’t far away so off we went. Saw the salesman and explained. ‘Oh it always does that‘ he said. ‘Try again tomorrow’. I told him I had a better idea, you print us a receipt.

Half an hour later we walked out with our receipt. Why is modern life so difficult…..??

Some companies seem to regard customers as a nuisance that they could well do without.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

I was trying to work out how to turn it to 11!

Why don't they just make 10 louder?

 

[Strat-tastic]

But then it wouldn't go up to 11.