Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[Techniquest]

I'm partial to the occasional Maccy's, but I don't think I'd actually miss it much if it didn't exist...

The food outlet I absolutely would ban though, is Greggs. They've chosen the "Starbucks" method of opening loads of outlets in a small area to crowd out competition despite being the worst chain bakery in existence. Their sandwiches are rubbish and their pastries are always cold, yet they seem to have garnered a cult status through their marketing without doing anything to earn it. Primark even have a load of Greggs-branded merch on sale, which in my book is a step too far in the direction of self-referential irony. Get in the sea.

Can we also ban (and purge) whoever came up with the idea of the countdown thing they've been doing with the kick-offs at the World Cup? If I cringed any harder I'd turn myself inside out!

If McDonalds disappeared tomorrow, I'd absolutely love the day. I cannot agree more on the Greggs branded clothes in Primark, I have seen people wearing it recently and thought it was a bit crazy. I was in my local Primark with family recently, and the menswear section was full of such clothes. Why someone would choose to walk around anywhere wearing such clothing, well I have no idea!

Greggs and me have a bit of an on and off thing, sometimes I like it because it's very convenient when visiting a new area and I'm short on time. I was grateful for it earlier in the year for a cheap bit of food and coffee to warm up with after getting soaked on a cycle ride. That unforecast heavy rain was seriously unwelcome that day, but Greggs was appreciated. Other times, I see the standard of some people who use their outlets and it makes me want to run a mile from there!

I haven't yet been in for one of their vegan festive bakes this year, which I do have to confess to liking last year. So far this year, I have been able to resist and go to somewhere of better standards!

 

[gg1]

If McDonalds disappeared tomorrow, I'd absolutely love the day. I cannot agree more on the Greggs branded clothes in Primark, I have seen people wearing it recently and thought it was a bit crazy. I was in my local Primark with family recently, and the menswear section was full of such clothes. Why someone would choose to walk around anywhere wearing such clothing, well I have no idea!

Personally I think t-shirts where the design consist solely of an oversized clothing brand logo is just as bad. I have no more desire to be an unpaid walking advert for Nike, Adidas or Levi's than I do for Greggs.

 

[Techniquest]

Personally I think t-shirts where the design consist solely of an oversized clothing brand logo is just as bad. I have no more desire to be an unpaid walking advert for Nike, Adidas or Levi's than I do for Greggs.

It depends how it's done with the clothing brand logos, in my view, some are less in-your-face than others. You'd not like my Nike t-shirt much, but while it's difficult to describe it I don't feel it's OTT.

 

[david1212]

... The food outlet I absolutely would ban though, is Greggs. They've chosen the "Starbucks" method of opening loads of outlets in a small area to crowd out competition despite being the worst chain bakery in existence. Their sandwiches are rubbish and their pastries are always cold, yet they seem to have garnered a cult status through their marketing without doing anything to earn it. Primark even have a load of Greggs-branded merch on sale, which in my book is a step too far in the direction of self-referential irony. Get in the sea. ...

A few years ago now but two Greggs opened and soon after two one-off independents closed.
I can not comment on the quality of any as I have never used them.

..... I cannot agree more on the Greggs branded clothes in Primark, I have seen people wearing it recently and thought it was a bit crazy. I was in my local Primark with family recently, and the menswear section was full of such clothes. Why someone would choose to walk around anywhere wearing such clothing, well I have no idea! ....

I just do not get Primark selling the Greggs branded clothing.
If it was heavily discounted with vouchers from Greggs then different.

 

[duncanp]

People not closing train doors behind them on a cold winters day. This seems to be a problem on modern stock as one used to close the door behind oneself as a reflex action on the slam door trains.

I would like to ban people from not closing any door behind them on a cold winters day.

This happens frequently in my local coffee shop, and is most annoying

Also lingering in an open doorway whilst letting a blast of freezing cold air into the shop/cafe/pub... etc.

And while we are at it, COVID is over, so there is NO need to open bus windows in this weather just to "...make everyones journey safer..."

 

[ScotRail158725]

I would like to ban people from not closing any door behind them on a cold winters day.

This happens frequently in my local coffee shop, and is most annoying

Also lingering in an open doorway whilst letting a blast of freezing cold air into the shop/cafe/pub... etc.

And while we are at it, COVID is over, so there is NO need to open bus windows in this weather just to "...make everyones journey safer..."

I like an argument so ill always go out my way to shut them

 

[Steddenm]

And while we are at it, COVID is over, so there is NO need to open bus windows in this weather just to "...make everyones journey safer..."

COVID isn't over. There are spikes of the virus in a number of locations - especially in NI* and RoI°.

* See https://datavis.nisra.gov.uk/vitalstatistics/weekly-deaths-dashboard.html
° See https://www.hpsc.ie/a-z/respiratory...VID-19_Death_Report_Website_v1.8_14112022.pdf

The mutations of COVID are not as susceptible to the vaccines as previous mutations were.

 

[duncanp]

COVID isn't over. There are spikes of the virus in a number of locations - especially in NI* and RoI°.

* See https://datavis.nisra.gov.uk/vitalstatistics/weekly-deaths-dashboard.html
° See https://www.hpsc.ie/a-z/respiratory...VID-19_Death_Report_Website_v1.8_14112022.pdf

The mutations of COVID are not as susceptible to the vaccines as previous mutations were.

COVID will never be "over", in the sense that there will be always be new infections, and "waves" of cases from time to time.

Perhaps a better way of putting what I meant to say is COVID is no longer a serious illness for the vast majority of people (due to vaccination and prior exposure to the virus) so measures such as keeping bus windows open on a bitterly cold day are not going to make a great deal of difference, and will have downsides that outweigh the supposed benefits.

 

[Techniquest]

COVID isn't over. There are spikes of the virus in a number of locations - especially in NI* and RoI°.

* See https://datavis.nisra.gov.uk/vitalstatistics/weekly-deaths-dashboard.html
° See https://www.hpsc.ie/a-z/respiratory...VID-19_Death_Report_Website_v1.8_14112022.pdf

The mutations of COVID are not as susceptible to the vaccines as previous mutations were.

I haven't looked at those links, but you did save me from having to point out to the person who said it's over that it isn't As for the bus windows thing, in bitterly cold weather then yes I would say close the windows but I do like having them open to keep airflow going. I've got too much to do today though to debate Covid and everything else, except to say numbers are rising significantly here.

 

[yorksrob]

I would like to ban people from not closing any door behind them on a cold winters day.

This happens frequently in my local coffee shop, and is most annoying

Also lingering in an open doorway whilst letting a blast of freezing cold air into the shop/cafe/pub... etc.

And while we are at it, COVID is over, so there is NO need to open bus windows in this weather just to "...make everyones journey safer..."

Yes, I had that last night in the pub !

 

[Mcr Warrior]

Football commentators wetting their knickers every time Messi does something quite ordinary !

Señor Messi seems to be doing all right in tonight's semi-final vs Croatia.

 

[150249]

Football commentators wetting their knickers every time Messi does something quite ordinary !

I mean he is the GOAT

 

[duncanp]

OK, I am in a Scrooge like mood this afternoon.

Can we please ban those two Christmas songs that begin "..Its the most wonderful time of the year..." and "...chestnuts roasting on an open fire..."

Having heard them ad nauseam for the past few weeks, they are beginning to grate on me, and the words paint an idealised version of Christmas which is in complete contrast to most peoples' experience.

Bah humbug!!

 

[birchesgreen]

OK, I am in a Scrooge like mood this afternoon.

Can we please ban those two Christmas songs that begin "..Its the most wonderful time of the year..." and "...chestnuts roasting on an open fire..."

Having heard them ad nauseam for the past few weeks, they are beginning to grate on me, and the words paint an idealised version of Christmas which is in complete contrast to most peoples' experience.

Bah humbug!!

We have a christmas radio station on at work, unfortunately with only a limited selection. I heard Wings' song (which i do like, or did anyway) no less than 8 times yesterday...

 

[GusB]

OK, I am in a Scrooge like mood this afternoon.

Can we please ban those two Christmas songs that begin "..Its the most wonderful time of the year..." and "...chestnuts roasting on an open fire..."

Having heard them ad nauseam for the past few weeks, they are beginning to grate on me, and the words paint an idealised version of Christmas which is in complete contrast to most peoples' experience.

Bah humbug!!

But it is the most wonderful time of the year...

...for those of us who get grumpy and have to resist the temptation to lob something heavy at the television. I don't often agree with you, but on this occasion I definitely. I think one of the companies using that song was a holiday company and they've been playing it for months now.

 

[Techniquest]

I have heard too many different covers of Let It Snow recently, I think yesterday alone I heard 4 different ones in 6 hours. Strangely, I haven't heard the Shakin Stevens song yet, and I haven't heard Chris Rea too often either. Nor that song singing about how he wants to be back with his love interest instead of the battlefield.

11 days until The Great Feast has been had, we're nearly there now!

I'd like to nominate this Artic weather for banning, it is incredibly cold out there! The heater is struggling to keep the room warm, and when I was last outside for around 5 minutes earlier tonight I was shivering! This weather has completely messed up my exercise regime!

 

[al78]

COVID isn't over. There are spikes of the virus in a number of locations - especially in NI* and RoI°.

* See https://datavis.nisra.gov.uk/vitalstatistics/weekly-deaths-dashboard.html
° See https://www.hpsc.ie/a-z/respiratory...VID-19_Death_Report_Website_v1.8_14112022.pdf

The mutations of COVID are not as susceptible to the vaccines as previous mutations were.

It isn't over, but we are (or should) be at the point now where COVID is treated like the flu in terms of hospitalisations and deaths and is something we are going to have to deal with annually.

Unfortunately the NHS is like the railways in some parts of the country; rammed full, no slack in the system and lacking resiliance, so takes little perturbation to the mean to put it under major stress.

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: 14 Dec 2022 ==

I'd like to nominate this Artic weather for banning, it is incredibly cold out there! The heater is struggling to keep the room warm, and when I was last outside for around 5 minutes earlier tonight I was shivering! This weather has completely messed up my exercise regime!

It is about to be banned this weekend. The freeezing arctic air mass will be replaced with tropical maritime grot, complete with wet and windy weather up to and through the Christmas period with the occasional fleeting cooler spell (i.e. normal winter/semi-permanent autumn UK weather).

Can you not just move with more effort if you are cold exercising outside? I recommend a bicycle and a 20% gradient. Start at the bottom and pedal as hard as you can to the top in the biggest gear you have. Once at the top, coast back down and repeat. The session ends when you can no longer stand up.

 

[uglymonkey]

All the Christmas adverts ( filmed in August, I guess) seemed to be aimed at the 1% with money to "blow" on Christmas - does anyone actually have a Christmas like that? Bit like the Tampax adverts where as soon as you are on your period, you must, simply must, take up rollerblading or skydiving with a massive grin on your face. ! I know they are selling aspirations, but it's so unrealistic in the current climate.

 

[Techniquest]

It is about to be banned this weekend. The freeezing arctic air mass will be replaced with tropical maritime grot, complete with wet and windy weather up to and through the Christmas period with the occasional fleeting cooler spell (i.e. normal winter/semi-permanent autumn UK weather).

Can you not just move with more effort if you are cold exercising outside? I recommend a bicycle and a 20% gradient. Start at the bottom and pedal as hard as you can to the top in the biggest gear you have. Once at the top, coast back down and repeat. The session ends when you can no longer stand up.

I haven't been watching the weather forecasts recently, but I'm informed of it not being anywhere near like that. I guess we will see what happens!

With conditions as they are, I usually go walking instead of cycling, and I can walk quite fast so it's not like I don't get outside for exercise. I had so many plans for cycle rides this month, all of which I've cancelled. It was cold enough a couple of Sundays ago, and that was when the temperature was above zero. I'm not going out cycling when it's below zero before factoring in the wind chill. No thanks! I would agree that your plan there would warm one up very fast!

 

[duncanp]

Can we ban Bulb from increasing their electricity prices on January 1st?

They increased them in October to match the new price cap, they are going to increase them again in April when the price cap goes up to £3,000, so why the <bleep> do they need to increase them in January as well?

Perhaps one reason is to pay for all the accountants and administrators that are leeching off them whilst they are in administration.

 

[Calthrop]

Concerning dressing-gowns -- not the garments themselves, but a seemingly very common feature of them: sleeves which are at the "open" end, wildly wide-and-broad. Said sleeves' being thus, tends to make it awkward / difficult / verging on impossible, to do things with any delicacy involving one's hands, while wearing said dressing-gown. One would imagine that part of the role of a dressing-gown, is to let one carry on the things of normal life, when -- after arising -- only partially dressed. Do dressing-gown-makers think that this is "infra dig", and that dressing-gowns should take as a model, mandarins' sleeves as in old-time China -- said sleeves very wide-and-broad, so that said mandarin would never have to do any menial tasks: which he had flunkeys in plenty to perform for him? Dear dressing-gown-makers: in case you hadn't noticed, we are not in old-time China -- and we ordinary proles would be very glad to have the chance to do manual stuff while wearing our dressing-gowns. I would have these super-wide-and-broad dressing-gown sleeves, banned: just make the sleeves normal / practical / handleable width !

 

[xotGD]

Concerning dressing-gowns -- not the garments themselves, but a seemingly very common feature of them: sleeves which are at the "open" end, wildly wide-and-broad. Said sleeves' being thus, tends to make it awkward / difficult / verging on impossible, to do things with any delicacy involving one's hands, while wearing said dressing-gown. One would imagine that part of the role of a dressing-gown, is to let one carry on the things of normal life, when -- after arising -- only partially dressed. Do dressing-gown-makers think that this is "infra dig", and that dressing-gowns should take as a model, mandarins' sleeves as in old-time China -- said sleeves very wide-and-broad, so that said mandarin would never have to do any menial tasks: which he had flunkeys in plenty to perform for him? Dear dressing-gown-makers: in case you hadn't noticed, we are not in old-time China -- and we ordinary proles would be very glad to have the chance to do manual stuff while wearing our dressing-gowns. I would have these super-wide-and-broad dressing-gown sleeves, banned: just make the sleeves normal / practical / handleable width !

On more than one occasion I have ended up with a door handle hooked inside a dressing gown sleeve.

Makes you come to an abrupt halt.

 

[dgl]

We have a christmas radio station on at work, unfortunately with only a limited selection. I heard Wings' song (which i do like, or did anyway) no less than 8 times yesterday...

Going in to The Range and realising that they are too cheap to pay to play originals so just play covers, my sister was horrified by the cover of Thank God It's Christmas, at least get people who can actually sing to do the covers, I believe B&M have their own Christmas songs going by what they Weymouth one has been playing.

 

[yorksrob]

Bog roll ticketing.

I loathe it more than words can express.

 

[xotGD]

Bog roll ticketing.

I loathe it more than words can express.

At least it is a paper ticket. Not some phone-based nonsense.

A few years back I witnessed a bog roll tticket machine throw a wobbler, and dispense around five yards of ticket for a single from Morley to Huddersfield.

 

[yorksrob]

At least it is a paper ticket. Not some phone-based nonsense.

A few years back I witnessed a bog roll tticket machine throw a wobbler, and dispense around five yards of ticket for a single from Morley to Huddersfield.

That's true

 

[duncanp]

At least it is a paper ticket. Not some phone-based nonsense.

A few years back I witnessed a bog roll tticket machine throw a wobbler, and dispense around five yards of ticket for a single from Morley to Huddersfield.

Can we also ban the new style Avanti ticket machines at Birmingham New Street station. (and other Avanti stations I believe)

They have halved the number of machines, and they are more difficult to use, with unresponsive touch screens.

This causes a massive queue at the ticket office.

You would think that they are making it difficult to buy a ticket at the station on purpose, so that everyone is pushed towards buying e-tickets.

 

[swt_passenger]

The BBC talking about Messi. The way they’re talking, the other 10 Argentinian players may as well leave the pitch and leave it all to Messi.

So what actually happened, or should I wait til tomorrow…

 

[Jimini]

Can we also ban the new style Avanti ticket machines at Birmingham New Street station. (and other Avanti stations I believe)

They have halved the number of machines, and they are more difficult to use, with unresponsive touch screens.

This causes a massive queue at the ticket office.

You would think that they are making it difficult to buy a ticket at the station on purpose, so that everyone is pushed towards buying e-tickets.

Yep -- just the three of them at Coventry, but the last couple of times I passed through (needing to collect pre-paid ToD tickets) only one was working, and the queue for the ticket office was about 20 deep. There used to be eight or so of the old machines, before the "upgrade"? I'll wait for @Bletchleyite to pop his head up and give his full review of them, but at least to me they are set up in some ridiculous manner whereby mandatory reservations are still a thing, and anyone wanting to hop on a train to New Street / MK et al from Coventry have to specify their outbound and return journey times, I believe? Doesn't exactly push the queue along quickly!

 

[Bletchleyite]

Yep -- just the three of them at Coventry, but the last couple of times I passed through (needing to collect pre-paid ToD tickets) only one was working, and the queue for the ticket office was about 20 deep. There used to be eight or so of the old machines, before the "upgrade"? I'll wait for @Bletchleyite to pop his head up and give his full review of them, but at least to me they are set up in some ridiculous manner whereby mandatory reservations are still a thing, and anyone wanting to hop on a train to New Street / MK et al from Coventry have to specify their outbound and return journey times, I believe? Doesn't exactly push the queue along quickly!

The Avanti TVMs? I already posted on them somewhere. But a short summary is "not fit for purpose", possibly hovering somewhere around "deliberately rubbish to make people use their phones"?