Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[duncanp]

Its common sense as one side is designed for a basket and one for a load of shopping….

In some supermarkets it is not obvious.

My local Aldi has a row of self service tills where the basket area is on the right, and the bagging area on the left, as well as another row opposite where the positions are reversed.

But at least they have signs saying where to put your basket full of shopping.

 

[py_megapixel]

Its common sense as one side is designed for a basket and one for a load of shopping….

Both are usually just a flat metal surface...

 

[dakta]

I'd just have rid of the self checkout tills anyway, we normally needed assistance 2-3 times most time we use them, we've tried adjusting the technique, laying stuff down carefully and it just never seems to help

One I used earlier took a tenner, then a fiver, and failed to register the fiver, did get it sorted but wasn't filled with confidence when the assistant initially seemed equally worried and I can't help but think a human would've been quicker for the whole transaction.

They also seem to punish you by giving out cash change in as many coins as possible if the machine determines you have been difficult.

 

[gg1]

I'd just have rid of the self checkout tills anyway, we normally needed assistance 2-3 times most time we use them, we've tried adjusting the technique, laying stuff down carefully and it just never seems to help

The only reliable way I've found to avoid the dreaded "unexpected item in bagging area" is to not bag anything at all until after I've finished scanning and have paid.

 

[duncanp]

I'd just have rid of the self checkout tills anyway, we normally needed assistance 2-3 times most time we use them, we've tried adjusting the technique, laying stuff down carefully and it just never seems to help

One I used earlier took a tenner, then a fiver, and failed to register the fiver, did get it sorted but wasn't filled with confidence when the assistant initially seemed equally worried and I can't help but think a human would've been quicker for the whole transaction.

They also seem to punish you by giving out cash change in as many coins as possible if the machine determines you have been difficult.

Or they punish people who want to use cash by making 90% of the self service tills card only.

Another thing I would ban is being cajoled into using a card only machine when I want to pay with cash.

 

[dakta]

The only reliable way I've found to avoid the dreaded "unexpected item in bagging area" is to not bag anything at all until after I've finished scanning and have paid.

I did give that a whirl and it seemed to help but not all that much

It also made things a whole deal more awkward, because then you've now just created the new task of bagging everything up at the moment you'd actually want to be paying (or you'll be paying whilst someone now bags up and then the tills burbling at you 'thank you for your custom' repeatedly until you can get it all together and go

Notice my local asda has culled even more tills recently to make room for it

 

[Bald Rick]

Can we also ban supermarkets from having self service checkout tills without a sign indicating which side you should put your basket full of shopping, and which is the "bagging area".

Yes, Morrisons, I am looking at you.

frnakly, it’s bloody obvious!

 

[Gloster]

frnakly, it’s bloody obvious!

In some it is, but in others it isn’t. Although it isn’t (usually) really much of a chore to move your basket.

It looks to me as if Morrison’s are ending long-term offers as normal, but not replacing them with new ones from the same section (pasta, pasties and rolls, etc.) There are still a few, but they seem to be of shorter duration and variety. (This has not been methodically investigated.)

 

[Purple Train]

Schools with badly-punctuated signs, or bad grammar on signs.

 

[htafc]

Schools with badly-punctuated signs, or bad grammar on signs.

Or bad fonts on their signs (I'm looking at you, Comic Sans !)

 

[61653 HTAFC]

I did give that a whirl and it seemed to help but not all that much

It also made things a whole deal more awkward, because then you've now just created the new task of bagging everything up at the moment you'd actually want to be paying (or you'll be paying whilst someone now bags up and then the tills burbling at you 'thank you for your custom' repeatedly until you can get it all together and go

Notice my local asda has culled even more tills recently to make room for it

Could be worse...

At my nearest Morrisons (which is the best supermarket for choice, but the absolute worst for staff attitude) there's always a big queue for the self-scan tills precisely because the checkout ladies seem to be a crack team of SAS-trained Battle-axes!

 

[birchesgreen]

Or bad fonts on their signs (I'm looking at you, Comic Sans !)

Yes Comic Sans should only be used in certain situations, such as funeral notices and nuclear power station warning signs.

 

[bspahh]

Yes Comic Sans should only be used in certain situations, such as funeral notices and nuclear power station warning signs.

... or a presentation on finding the Higgs Boson

 

[birchesgreen]

... or a presentation on finding the Higgs Boson

Exactly, perfect font for that.

 

[htafc]

... or a presentation on finding the Higgs Boson

My goodness is that amusing!

 

[GusB]

For maximum irritation, notice's in Comic San's with unnecessary apostrophe's.

 

[htafc]

For maximum irritation, notice's in Comic San's with unnecessary apostrophe's.

I ha've to agree with you! To be fair, I would ban all incorrect grammar, but that's another story

 

[xotGD]

Can I ban people fishing in the canal with a rod that is longer than the canal is wide? What’s the point?

 

[Gloster]

The use of the word ‘bathroom’ for a room that doesn’t have a bath, particularly on a train. If you mean WC/toilet/loo/gents/ladies/khazi/bogs/etc. say so, using whichever one of the many options is most appropriate. There are all too many Americanisms sliding into our language: some may be reasonable, but this one impoverishes then language. I have seen a couple of examples on this forum recently.

 

[birchesgreen]

The use of the word ‘bathroom’ for a room that doesn’t have a bath, particularly on a train. If you mean WC/toilet/loo/gents/ladies/khazi/bogs/etc. say so, using whichever one of the many options is most appropriate. There are all too many Americanisms sliding into our language: some may be reasonable, but this one impoverishes then language. I have seen a couple of examples on this forum recently.

I have done my best to combat this, my wife who grew up learning American English, now uses terms like bog roll.

 

[Busaholic]

I have done my best to combat this, my wife who grew up learning American English, now uses terms like bog roll.

Just when the rest of us have stopped using it, the term that is.

 

[Purple Train]

I ha've to agree with you! To be fair, I would ban all incorrect grammar, but that's another story

Oooh yes, that would be marvellou's.

The use of the word ‘bathroom’ for a room that doesn’t have a bath, particularly on a train. If you mean WC/toilet/loo/gents/ladies/khazi/bogs/etc. say so, using whichever one of the many options is most appropriate. There are all too many Americanisms sliding into our language: some may be reasonable, but this one impoverishes then language. I have seen a couple of examples on this forum recently.

This is why houses where the toilet and the bath/shower are in different rooms really bring out my evil streak. If someone asks where the bathroom is, I'd be sorely tempted to give them the location of the bath/shower room, rather than the room they want.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

This is why houses where the toilet and the bath/shower are in different rooms really bring out my evil streak. If someone asks where the bathroom is, I'd be sorely tempted to give them the location of the bath/shower room, rather than the room they want.

In that case, don't get angry if they "lay a cable" in your bathtub!

I must jump to the defence of our American cousins, sometimes euphemistically calling it the "bathroom" is more appropriate. However once that becomes the default term, everyone knows it's a euphemism so it no longer functions as one!

 

[Calthrop]

In that case, don't get angry if they "lay a cable" in your bathtub!

I must jump to the defence of our American cousins, sometimes euphemistically calling it the "bathroom" is more appropriate. However once that becomes the default term, everyone knows it's a euphemism so it no longer functions as one !

(My bolding) -- the Universal Law of Euphemisms. Makes one wonder why we bother with them !

 

[Gloster]

Long ago the Two Ronnies did a sketch with Ronnie C. using all sorts of euphemisms when asking Ronnie B. where the toilet is at a party. For example, asking for the ‘smallest room’ and being shown the broom cupboard.

 

[Bletchleyite]

Long ago the Two Ronnies did a sketch with Ronnie C. using all sorts of euphemisms when asking Ronnie B. where the toilet is at a party. For example, asking for the ‘smallest room’ and being shown the broom cupboard.

Toilet is itself a euphemism, isn't it? As is lavatory, which refers to a place where one can have a wash! (laver = to wash)

1. the process of washing oneself, dressing, and attending to one's appearance.
   "Emily got up to begin her morning toilette"

Origin

late 17th century: French (see toilet).

(from the Oxford English Dictionary via Google)

Not sure what isn't bar the crude ones, such as naming it after a certain famous Thomas (which is said to be the word version of a backronym).

 

[Gloster]

Thomas Crapper was the founder of a plumbing equipment company who made a number of significant improvements to plumbing equipment. However, he did not, as has been claimed, invent the flushing cistern, merely improved it. The word cr*p is much older, so I suspect that he is partly remembered because of the coincidence of his name and the business he dealt with (pun intended).

 

[gg1]

The use of the word ‘bathroom’ for a room that doesn’t have a bath, particularly on a train. If you mean WC/toilet/loo/gents/ladies/khazi/bogs/etc. say so, using whichever one of the many options is most appropriate. There are all too many Americanisms sliding into our language: some may be reasonable, but this one impoverishes then language. I have seen a couple of examples on this forum recently.

'Restroom' irritates me more tbh, but most ludicrous of all is 'cloakroom'.

Bathrooms do at least often include a loo and 'restroom' is only ever used as a euphemism for toilet but cloakroom has a wholly different, and commonly used, alternate meaning.

 

[Bletchleyite]

'Restroom' irritates me more tbh

I can see some sense in that. If you need its use urgently, sitting down to do so is one of the best rests imaginable

but most ludicrous of all is 'cloakroom'.

Agree with that one, I suspect they'd ask questions if I hung my coat over the mirror and walked out!

 

[Calthrop]

Thomas Crapper was the founder of a plumbing equipment company who made a number of significant improvements to plumbing equipment. However, he did not, as has been claimed, invent the flushing cistern, merely improved it. The word cr*p is much older, so I suspect that he is partly remembered because of the coincidence of his name and the business he dealt with (pun intended).

I gather that a fancy expression for this phenomenon, is "nominative determinism".