Annoying unnecessary on-train announcements - a rant!

[CaptainHaddock]

I’m sorry this is a bit of a rant but I need to get it off my chest.

From a passenger perspective, on-train announcements used to be simple and straightforward. When you got on the train the conductor announced over the intercom what the train was and where it was going and save for announcing “We are now approaching whever” before each stop, that was all you heard from him and you could enjoy your journey in peace and quiet.

Yet now it seems you can barely shut the conductor up! In many cases you get such a barrage of announcements before and after every stop that it drives you crackers!

The most annoying thing is though that none of these announcements are really necessary, much of it is (for want of a better word) health and safety b*llocks that you don’t need to know.

For example, why do they need to announce it’s a non smoking service and that smoking is not permitted in any part of train including toilets and vestibules? There can’t be a person in the country who doesn’t know the smoking ban came into force a couple of years ago, and as toilets and vestibules are part of the train then they’re saying the same thing twice!

Then there’s the bizarre obsession with insisting you keep your luggage with you at all times. Yes, great idea – I go to the toilet or the buffet, take my bag with me and then when I get back to my seat I find someone else has taken it as there was nothing there to indicate it was occupied!

And as for the “if you see anything suspicious please inform the conductor” business, for one thing we don’t know what “suspicious” means and for another should we really be spying on our fellow passengers? I can sort of see how this might be relevant in London back when there was a terrorist threat, but you hear this on Northern and TPE commuter services! Do they really think Al Qaeda are having meetings saying “I know how we can cause mass devastation – let’s bomb the 0917 Hull to Bridlington stopper!”

I could go on – about how some guards assume everyone on their service is travelling on their train for the first time ever and patronise us by telling us what a quiet coach is and how to find our seat number. Or about how on cross country trains you get not just the conductor (sorry – “train manager”) but also the buffer car guy droning on for ten minutes listing absolutely every item he sells, but you get the idea.

Little wonder we all have to turn our mp3 players up to full volume just to drown out the incessant chatter of unnecessary announcements!

Woo – I feel better for that! I just wonder whether anyone employed by a TOC can tell me whether they’re told by their managers to make all these announcements or whether they can use their discretion and keep the noice to a minimum?

 

[BestWestern]

LOL! I agree with you, actually, even if I have to make these announcements myself! There is a government body known as 'TRANSEC' which monitors transport security. Guards are given a 'script' for a security announcement which covers the luggage and suspicious people stuff, which we are suposedly required to read out over the intercom "at principal stations and every 30 minutes throughout the journey". I agree that some of it is stupid, particularly the bit about keeping luggage with you - so you get on, your put your suitcase in the luggage rack provided and then, err, it's no longer 'with you', so are you now a security hazard?!! It is, sadly, nanny state over-zealous paranoia, but such is the world today! I generally modify mine and tone it down a little, leaving out the suspicous people rubbish - that's half the train usually! I'll confess to annoucning where coach A is, and asking people to keep the gangways clear for the trolley, but I try to keep it as brief as possible and I don't do it at every stop. I also leave the 'mind the gap' etc for just the big stations, cos it becomes a little insulting to repeat the same thing at every station!

As for the no smoking stuff, I leave that for when someone is hiding in the bog having a sly puff, and then make sure the whole train knows about it and can embarrass the hell out of them by all having a good look as the cheeky bugger comes out again, hehe!!

 

[imagination]

Mmm I agree with the basic idea of an excess of announcements - for example on East Coast services there always seems to be an insistance on giving TWO announcements before the train departs from its initial station, the second one containing everything the first one had and more. Would the second by itself not suffice?

However some of that stuff is necessary - particularly about what a quiet coach is - even WITH all the announcements you still almost invariably have someone ignoring it.

 

[Cherry_Picker]

I had to make five announcements saying the same thing the other day because the departure screens at the station were saying that I had a different stopping pattern than the one I actually had. You would be amazed how many people didnt get off the train until the fifth announcement and how many of them asked me to confirm whether the voice they heard over the PA was telling the truth or not.

It's all well and good being annoyed by an announcement that you think is unnecessary but when you are responsible for anybody who gets over carried then its best to make sure.

 

[LexyBoy]

It's all well and good being annoyed by an announcement that you think is unnecessary but when you are responsible for anybody who gets over carried then its best to make sure.

Exactly - if there were only announcements which were actually relevant then folk might actually listen.

...

What I find annoying is the way that announcements are deliberately drawn out for no reason. For example, instead of:
“No smoking on this train”
we get
“We do operate a no smoking policy on all of our trains and station areas. This does include the vestibule areas and toilets”
... why not also list all other illegal activities?

Not to mention (FGW) banging on about safety information... I don't think anyone's going to pay attention to that if they haven't already seen the safety info cards placed 50cm in front of their eyes on the big white thing obscuring all view of the rest of the carriage :roll:

 

[Statto]

Merseyrail are bad for this at the mo, i don't mind the, the next station is, change here for the[insert line] line, or safety announcements, but what's doing my head in is, alight here for this & that attractionecc, it's annoying me.:-x

 

[O L Leigh]

Seems we're never right. We get complaints over too many announcements and complaints when there are too few. Ho hum.

The sad fact is that there is a significant proportion of the travelling public who seem to need their hands held the whole ruddy time. They must be the most insecure people in the world, but they never seem to have a clue unless they are told repeatedly. It might annoy the regular travellers, but that's unavoidable.

O L Leigh

 

[Railjet]

The problem is that a lot of people tend to switch off when there is an on-going stream of self-explanatory announcements. Consequently, any important announcements get lost in the overall fog.

If announcements were limited to specific, important (non-routine) matters, they would have more impact and people would take more notice.

 

[The Barlow Boy]

The only announcements that the majority of rail passengers want to hear is an explanation when it all starts going wrong or which part of a splitting/short train is which. No-one much cares or listens to much else, it's information overload.

 

[First class]

Merseyrail are bad for this at the mo, i don't mind the, the next station is, change here for the[insert line] line, or safety announcements, but what's doing my head in is, alight here for this & that attractionecc, it's annoying me.:-x

All part of the "more than just a journey" experience

Think the PTE is behind these announcements though.

However, nice to know that there is actually an actual guard on Merseyrail trains when they do a manual announcement, was starting to think the 507s had gone DOO

 

[IanPooleTrains]

I don't think it is just the tupe of announcements, sometimes it is the people that are doing it.

Say you come home on the train after a long day at work and you are there "relaxing" (if you call the communter rush relaxing :roll, the last thing you need is someone bright and cheery. You'd be like, oh my god shut up!

I am sure some of the guys on the WMDR Meet could back me up on this when I said we had someone that sounded like the lost member of the munchkins doing the announcements and we all couldn't contain ourselves, we had to laugh.

 

[moonrakerz]

I don't think anyone's going to pay attention to that if they haven't already seen the safety info cards placed 50cm in front of their eyes on the big white thing obscuring all view of the rest of the carriage :roll:

If you look at that card in front of your nose it says on it, "do not remove" - so how the hell are you meant to read it ? :roll:

 

[pendolino]

What I find annoying is the way that announcements are deliberately drawn out for no reason. For example, instead of:
“No smoking on this train”
we get
“We do operate a no smoking policy on all of our trains and station areas. This does include the vestibule areas and toilets”
... why not also list all other illegal activities?

Because a lot of people who know bloody well that they shouldn't smoke on the train will nip into the toilet and try and sneak in a crafty fag, thus setting off the fire alarms, which in some stock causes an emergency brake application leading to massive disruption and delays. The point needs to be rammed home before some people will take it on board.

In general though with regard to announcements, if you're a regular traveller then yes, I can see that the constant repetition can get a bit annoying. But often, infrequent travellers can find the railway perplexing and like reassurance that they're on the right train etc. etc. It would be impossible to please everyone.

 

[Statto]

All part of the "more than just a journey" experience

Think the PTE is behind these announcements though.

However, nice to know that there is actually an actual guard on Merseyrail trains when they do a manual announcement, was starting to think the 507s had gone DOO

Merseyrail do automated announcement first, & almost immediately the automated announcement finishes on the train the Guard comes on & says exactly the same announcement. The train is halfway to the next station by the time the guard finishes the announcements.

 

[ChrisCooper]

At least with manual annoucements you get some variety, even when it's heavily scripted it still sounds different. Auto announcements are the worst because not only are the repeating the same information over and over, they are exactly the same too. IMHO TFL have got it best with their iBus system, just a simple Route Number to Destination after stops and then just the stop name on approaching the stop. IMHO even "change here for" is over the top, nobody in their right mind gets on a train without knowing where to change. Listing all the calling points on all or most stops trains is really annoying too, particularly on services that stop regularly where the announcements rarely finish before they start announcing the next station.

 

[HawkeyeTheNoo]

The best one I've heard is "If you are not travelling on this service, please leave the train, as we are about to depart"

 

[pendolino]

The best one I've heard is "If you are not travelling on this service, please leave the train, as we are about to depart"

You are aware of the reason for that one though, yes?

 

[LexyBoy]

Because a lot of people who know bloody well that they shouldn't smoke on the train will nip into the toilet and try and sneak in a crafty fag, thus setting off the fire alarms, which in some stock causes an emergency brake application leading to massive disruption and delays. The point needs to be rammed home before some people will take it on board.

I doubt that such people are going to pay too much attention to announcements unfortunately.

A simple solution would be to fit sprinklers in the toilets: outcome of crafty fag = soaked and kicked off train at next stop to be met by BTP.
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---

The best one I've heard is "If you are not travelling on this service, please leave the train, as we are about to depart"

That's quite nice though, accepting that some people like to be seen off or need help onto the train.

Much more useful than announcing "this is the 0715 service to Cardiff Central... if you are travelling on Advance tickets please check the time and date on your ticket blah blah..." which is inevitably not made until after departure.

 

[Essexman]

The one that annoys me is -

'The doors will not open until the train comes to a complete stop'.

Of course they won't.
How can any stop not be complete?

Also announcements saying first class it at front / rear at least 5 minutes after train has left intermediate station. This needs to be made at the station, or not at all.

 

[O L Leigh]

IMHO even "change here for" is over the top, nobody in their right mind gets on a train without knowing where to change.

You think...?

I remember an irate young lady coming into Liv St. She'd wanted to go to Stansted and so got on a train with "Stansted Express" written on the side and then ignored all the announcements as she travelled all the way down to Hertford East and all the way back again.

O L Leigh

 

[DarloRich]

But the problem remains that there seem to be a lot of simpletons out there how need to be told EVERYTHING, several times.

You have to say this is a no smoking service and smoking is not permitted anywhere on this train including the vestibules and toilets because if you don’t people will smoke and say you didn’t tell them.

You have to say the train is going to leave, get off now if you don’t have a ticket, otherwise people will complain when you ask them to buy a ticket because you didn’t tell the train was going to leave the station.

You have to tell people the doors won’t open until the train is at a stand because idiots (AKA the public at large!) will try and smash their way out if the doors don’t open when they want! Look at how many cant get out of a MKIII EVEN when you tell them to open the window and turn the handle!

You have to read out the station stops several times because there is always someone who gets on the wrong train and then bolts at the last minute!

Yes there are two many announcements for us sensible people but it stops the morons out there complaining about being on the wrong train or missing their stop or whatever!

 

[WestCoast]

I think TransPennine Express auto announcements are very long winded indeed. The opposite to Northern Rail where the guard might shout the stops as you're pulling in to the station (and to be honest most of the time that's sufficient enough)

I am not averse to announcements on trains - as long as they are relevant. What I dislike is Merseyrail's on-train "take care on the escalators and hold the handrail" nonsense....:roll:

Detailed intro announcements on most intercity operators are fine though as it explains the facilities onboard and informs when the buffet/shop is open, although the quality of such announcements seems to vary greatly depending on the member of staff making them.

 

[EM2]

What I dislike is Merseyrail's on-train "take care on the escalators and hold the handrail" nonsense....:roll:

Come into my station then, and view some of the CCTV I've had to download because people can't use an escalator...

 

[WestCoast]

Come into my station then, and view some of the CCTV I've had to download because people can't use an escalator...

But surely those warnings should be displayed at the station, around the escalator, not made as part of a long speech on some on-train auto annoucement...?

All I'm saying is keep it relevant on the train.

 

[O L Leigh]

This is the thing and the reason why there has to be so many announcements. Human stupidity really does know no bounds. Likewise, so-called "commonsense" is anything but common. Admittedly we're some way away from the level of nannying that the US has (where even packets of toothpicks have instructions for use printed on them), but there seems to be an increasing number of people who probably couldn't be trusted to sit the right way round on a toilet if left to their own devices.

O L Leigh

 

[Ivo]

CrossCountry are at the opposite end of the scale. Yes, I know the story of Arriva telling their staff to be concise (unlike in VXC days), but to just say "This is the 10:00 CrossCountry service to Manchester Piccadilly, calling at Bristol Parkway, Cheltenham Spa, Birmingham New Street, Wolverhampton, Stafford, Stoke-on-Trent, Stockport, due into Manchester at 12:59. Next station Bristol Parkway" is not enough for an InterCity service (not to mention the grammar issues ). Those routes often have rare travellers who need more information!

 

[scotsman]

I've had to announce raffle results twice over the PA before - shows the public don't listen even when there's a bottle of whisky at stake!

 

[SouthEastern-465]

Yes announcements may get one some peoples nerves but most of the time, they do help people espicially tourists most of all or people who are not familiar with certain areas... thats why there actually there to help people.

The only annoucement I will have a moan about is the onboard PIS on 1996ts on the approach to Stratford when its still a few minutes away you suddenly get a man shouting "THIS TRAIN TERMINATES HERE" and it repeats and repeats it even though we are not there and can't get out!

 

[Squaddie]

I once complained to FGW about the frequency and volume of announcements on a service from Swansea to London (roughly four deafening, rambling announcements between each pair of stations). They told me that their research indicated that passengers wanted the announcements.

Swiss Railways seem to have it absolutely right. Just after departure from each station there's a soothing voice that quietly and politely welcomes you on board (albeit in two languages). And then, just before each station, a simple "The next station is...". Otherwise, they leave you in peace. Perfect.

 

[lm321412]

I like announcements, and people would equally moan if they missed their station because the conductor never announced the station!

I however, Do not like when Virgin Trains say "OK, Well if your advance ticket is not valid you will be charged around £75.00". Pointless and just doesn't sound very customer friendly, anybody with half common sense will know that if they have booked an advane ticket then they have to travel on tha train (I know some haven't and have then had their article in the Daily Mail :roll

But on the contray, I definately do like announcements and I believe longer ones are needed on Intercity services, but on local services all you need to say is "This is the xxxx (company) service to xx calling at xx and x"