All about Ryanair... (And their cringeworthy replacement for the Crazy Frog!)

[Broken Viking]

Hail All!
Any of ye who have flown with Ryanair recently might've noticed something even more annoying than the on-time fanfare that they play on punctual landings, and that's the "Mr. Superfly" jingle that they recently crafted to announce the arrival of the refreshment trolley. :roll:

Now the original jingle on it's own (A simple and "happy" synth line) was pleasant and alright on it's own...But alas someone then decided to take the Ryanair jingle and add some really "gay" lyrics and the most pathetic storyline to it. The worst side to all of this is that it was - According to the Ryanair in-flight magazine - Released as a single on Monday! hock::roll:

Anyhow...If anyone (For whatever reason) wants to see the most annoying thing since the Crazy Frog, here's the video...

[youtube]2lZEVFACYAc[/youtube]
If you're wondering how this came about in the first place, take a look at This 375Kb scan from the Ryanair in-flight magazine which has the backstory to Mr. Superfly. :roll:​

For me personally, I find the idea of people going about with this on their MP3 players to be cringeworthy at best. Although I can see it being a hit with younger children (And I presume that's the target market here) I can just see this driving me right around the bend come Yule time! hock::roll:ad:

I presume that most of us here will probabally share my sentiments, right?...
>> Death <<
Although I have to confess: I didn't mind the original Ryanair trolley jingle, which had no gayness lyrics or voices in it. This single is a waste of otherwise good synth work IMO...

 

[Spaceflower]

You know you love it really

 

[Broken Viking]

You know you love it really

To be perfectly honest: If the announcement system in Boeing aircraft was run off of a CD, as opposed to a computer that's inaccessible to passengers, then I'd really want to...





























...Throw the CD right out of the aircraft, and replace the "Superfly" song with a decent bit of Death Metal - Preferably a track about aviation accidents, if I could find one! hock:

 

[laseandre]

A fly can't bird? Weird, I was always taught that they could.

 

[P156KWJ]

It's like long-winded announcements on trains about safety and buffet menus when it used to be a gruff male voice who said the next station or if it was the 185 I was on last week, auto announcer said the wrong list of stations and the guard kept having to reassure the passengers the train WAS going to Manchester Airport anyway

You never know though, usually on planes you just hear some stewardess talking, the sort of stewardess who looks like they wear too much make-up and look like a complete tart

 

[Broken Viking]

You never know though, the sort of stewardess who looks like they wear too much make-up and look like a complete tart

Ryanair have got that art down to a T over the last year or two. Every year, they release a charity calendar featuring female members of their cabin crew who are demonstrating a take-off of a somewhat different variety... hock:

Personally, I like the above mentioned calendar quite a bit...But I also agree with one of my lady friends that they should release one featuring Ryanair's male staff for the benefit of their female passengers! 8)

 

[Mintona]

You never know though, usually on planes you just hear some stewardess talking, the sort of stewardess who looks like they wear too much make-up and look like a complete tart

They're the best ones!

 

[Spaceflower]

Yeah, especially when they ask you to escort them to the back of the plane

And then when one nudges you politely to wake up as we have landed with a smile

 

[me123]

The only stewardess I had on Ryanair... well I swear she was a transvestite!

 

[Spaceflower]

'cough'
That was going to be my final thought of the night, thanks for shattering the dream me123

 

[me123]

No problem!

 

[Coxster]

I wish I was a Superfly

 

[Broken Viking]

Yeah, especially when they ask you to escort them to the back of the plane
And then when one nudges you politely to wake up as we have landed with a smile

I had the latter happen to me once...But - In true Murphy's Law fashion (Well, Ryanair is an Irish airline, I suppose! :razz - it was a male member of the cabin crew who woke me up...And he did give me a smile, too! hock:

The only stewardess I had on Ryanair... well I swear she was a transvestite!

The only stewardess...Are ye sure? CAA regulations require a minimum of three members of cabin crew on-board whenever a Boeing 737 (The mainstay of Ryanairs fleet) is being used for standard passenger carrying purposes... :razz:
Although then again: Ryanair are well known for rather risky cost-cutting practices, as This Dispatches documentary demonstrates all too well... hock:

I wish I was a Superfly

What, and get continuously assaulted by that giant Fly-swat o' doom whenever ye'd have to fly through a human settlement? hock::roll::razz:
(Actually: If ye watch the video embedded in my OP carefully, ye can see Superfly going to an establishment called "Do Doos". Take a careful look at the artwork on that resturants' sign! hock:)
Oh...And after finding out about that, I gave the section a few replays. Have a careful listen to the lyrics at that point...I wouldn't say they're exactly suitable for children, personally! hock:

 

[me123]

The only stewardess...Are ye sure? CAA regulations require a minimum of three members of cabin crew on-board whenever a Boeing 737 (The mainstay of Ryanairs fleet) is being used for standard passenger carrying purposes... :razz:

The other two were stewards

Although, as you say, Ryanair's cost cutting is crazy. In order to get the plane off the ground fast, I have seen them do the safety demos during take-off hock: Kinda funny to watch them all falling over, though

 

[Broken Viking]

Although, as you say, Ryanair's cost cutting is crazy. In order to get the plane off the ground fast, I have seen them do the safety demos during take-off hock: Kinda funny to watch them all falling over, though

The lucky barstewards! hock:
As someone who prefers to stand when travelling on public transport: If there's one thing that I detest about CAA regulations, it's the one that prohibits the provision of standing spaces and perch-seats on aircraft, and demands that passengers be seated at all times.
Call me a completely crazy so-and-so, but one thing I've always wanted to see is if my balance and physical agility (Which are both near top-notch) would be sufficient to allow me to endure take-off, turbulance, landing and decelleration in a standing position!

Not all of Ryanair's cost-cutting measures are bad ones though. Anyone who's flown with them on a half-full flight will have noticed their practice of seating passengers as close to the wings as possible, working out from there. It's a very simple (And more than acceptable) practice that keeps the bulk of the load balanced over the wings, but it saves them an immense amount on fuel! 8)

According to a member of cabin crew that I spoke to on my flight into Norway: Contrary to what is posted on their website, Ryanair apparently do overbook their flights - Although I don't know what percentage they might overbook by. Given that Ryanair are a not very rights-aware/honouring airline, trying to get a standby seat for the next flight might be troublesome...But with Boeing 737-800's having six crew seats installed, fully fit and able passengers might be able to take one of those insted - Provided ye don't mind making space for the crew to do their jobs (Or even assisting them slightly...I wouldn't mind doing so, at least. ) once the vehicle is airbourne. 8)

Oh, and here's a comment that I made on the Mr. Superfly video on YouTube last night, although I don't know if it'll be approved by them or not:

Hmm...So Ryanair have released a single now? I suppose it'll be "Europe's lowest priced single" at only 1p per copy...Though ye'll have to add a £7.00 surcharge to have it on CD, £4.50 for a jewel-case and inlay card, and don't forget the mandatory taxes too! :razz:

For the song itself: Though I like the original soundtrack, the lyrics spoil it for me. Personally, I could only appreciate the original "instrumental" version of this one. :roll:

 

[Spaceflower]

CAA regulations, it's the one that prohibits the provision of standing spaces and perch-seats on aircraft, and demands that passengers be seated at all times.

I travelled back from Barcelona lying down.

 

[Broken Viking]

I travelled back from Barcelona lying down.

Assuming by that ye were travelling in either Business or First class; May I ask why ye shelled out extra for a higher class seat on such a short-haul flight? hock::razz:

I mean: Barcelona to Manchester/Liverpool can't be any more than three hours (I would've thought, based on STN > TMP being a two hour flight) and - To me personally - Paying extra for a bigger seat or bed doesn't make much sense for such short durations, although I can fully understand people doing it for trans-Atlantic or East-Asian routes. 8)

Though mind ye, I'm a bit of a short-ass...And the one good side to that is that I always feel perfectly comfortable in even the smallest seats, and need next to no legroom! :razz:
The average Ryanair seat is about 13-14" wide and the pitch is about 14-18" or so - Sometimes less - And personally I find that I need no more than 12" width and 12" pitch to feel comfortable...Though given the choice, I'd rather stand in the rear galley and steady myself on the aft bulkhead if I was allowed to do so! hock:

 

[me123]

I'm fine on ryanair too; you get a comfortable enough seat, it takes you from A to B, and it opens up the world (well, Europe) to people who previously could not afford it. And you're likely to get a window than you are on a Pendolino

 

[Broken Viking]

I'm fine on ryanair too; you get a comfortable enough seat, it takes you from A to B, and it opens up the world (well, Europe) to people who previously could not afford it.

Tell me about it - I'm signed off of work due to my disability and as a result have a very low state income. Despite that though, I've still managed to afford five return trips to various parts of Europe in the past year! hock:8)

Though I'm always aware of attempts to rip passengers off with hidden charges (For checked baggage etc) and generally put a lot of thought into cutting my costs right down when booking, I can certainly say - Without a doubt - That I am one of Ryanair's most satisfied customers! 8)

And you're likely to get a window than you are on a Pendolino

Not always...For some reason that I can't quite put my finger on, I seem to prefer the aisle seats every time I fly. Indeed - Over the 80 or so flights that I must've taken over the years - I've only sat in a window seat once! hock:

...Although unlike a Class 390, at least on a Ryanair vehicle the windows are still large enough to provide a view for more than one eyeball at once! On the other hand though, I normally fly during the hours of darkness anyway...

 

[westcoaster]

ryanair now fly the 737-800 variant which means they now need an extra cabin crew on board all to do with the passenger crew ratio,

as an example from my days at ezy:

ezy Boeing 737-400. 149 seats 2 pilots 3 cabin crew
ezy Airbus A319. 156 seats 2 pilots 4 cabin crew

iirc the ratio is about 1 cabin crew to 50 passengers.

 

[Broken Viking]

ryanair now fly the 737-800 variant which means they now need an extra cabin crew on board all to do with the passenger crew ratio,

as an example from my days at EasyJet:

• EasyJet Boeing 737-400. 149 seats 2 pilots 3 cabin crew
• EasyJet Airbus A319. 156 seats 2 pilots 4 cabin crew

IIRC the ratio is about 1 cabin crew to 50 passengers.

Ahh...But that's the EasyJet passenger/crew ratios that ye are talking about there!

From what I know of Ryanair's practices so far - Having been a passsenger with them for some years now - Here's a similar list for Ryanairs' usual vehicles, with figures adjusted accordingly:

• Ryanair Boeing 737-800: 189 pax = 2x Pilots, 2x Cabin crew, 1x Trainee,
• Ryanair Boeing 747-400: 800 pax = 2x Pilots, 4x Cabin crew, 4x Trainees*

(* - Ryanair have announced intentions to begin budget transatlantic workings from around about the start of 2009CE, using second-hand long haul aircraft from other airlines. )

What I don't get though - Given that Ryanair are hoping to buy second-hand aircraft for their new transatlantic workings from collapsed/struggling operators (Like XL) - Is why they're bothering looking at secondhand aircraft at all? :?

If a 737-800 being delivered to Stansted can make the trip from Boeing's plant near Chicago under it's own steam without trouble, then surely the 737-800 is suitable enough for hops across the pond?
As long as passengers remember to take a wander down the aisle periodically (To avoid the risk of DVT), then I personally can't see any issues with such aircraft on longer routes.

 

[P156KWJ]

I'm fine on ryanair too; you get a comfortable enough seat, it takes you from A to B, and it opens up the world (well, Europe) to people who previously could not afford it. And you're likely to get a window than you are on a Pendolino

very true, the PDF seating plans on VT's website show seats with 'limited or no view' and it's embarassing how many there are

 

[laseandre]

What PDF seating plans?

EDIT: Eventually found it.

 

[Coxster]

....from collapsed/struggling operators (Like XL)

Fact of the Day: The collapse of XL Airways was blamed for the cease of trading of Somerset company "Throb Holidays".

 

[Broken Viking]

very true, the PDF seating plans on VT's website show seats with 'limited or no view' and it's embarassing how many there are

I'd say - Although funnily enough, I always seem to get a good view when I'm on board a Pendo all the same. Probabally because the windows in the outer doors are a darn sight bigger than the passenger compartment ones, and I normally stand in the vestibule!

On the other hand though, after looking at the VT seating plan (222Kb PDF) I'm a little curious about something. Take a careful look at the First Class Pendolino carriages on page one, and there are a couple of seat-types that I'm not quite familiar with...

• Service Point seating, and
• Traveller seating.

Can anyone tell me what these are used for, and why they are only to be found in the First Class section?

Whilst on the subject of that seating plan: Is it my poor eyesight, or have both of the driver's seats been coloured blue (Limited or no view) as well? hock:

 

[P156KWJ]

that's what I'm wondering, on Dec 23rd I'm reserved in seat J14 which has a 'service point' in front of it, so curious to find out what that is

 

[BJMorley]

Service point could be:
1) A place where the buffet trolley can be put somewhere, so other people can get by, and be there to offer tea and coffee to First Class passengers.
2)A place to store Class 50s Hoovers, and cleaning utensils.
3)A Big hole
4)A rack
5)A Telephone and that sort of stuff... Like the Mk.2 RFB had at GCRN

 

[P156KWJ]

Like the Mk.2 RFB had at GCRN

was there any need for that part? And also, it's not a telephone, it's a PA mic. I doubt they'd be stupid enough to leave that in the passenger compartment as there might be a few prank calls

 

[BJMorley]

No, I'm not on about the PA machine you idiot
I'm on about that space where you put the trolley, that was an ex phone booth.
There was a point... so you'd get what I'm on about... clearly you didn't

 

[P156KWJ]

it wasn't a phone AFAIK, it used to be the wheelchair area before the table was nicked some years ago when it was in storage