1. “A good service is operating on all lines? Really? Then why was I stuck in a tunnel for 10 minutes?”
2. “Are those people trying to eat each others’ faces off?”
3. “I think I might be sweating enough to end worldwide drought.”
4. “Should I wake her up? She’s been asleep since I got on…”
5. “Everyone on this train is such a mindless drone. I’m not like them.”
6. “Oh god, is that woman pregnant? Should I get up?”
7. “Dat breeze when the door opens. That sweet, beautiful, brief breeze.”
8. “What’s the best way to make that guy realise his music is too loud?”
9. “Ew, that guy’s hair keeps touching my hand. Ew ew ew.”
10. I have a seat. I beat you.
11. I wonder what would happen if I just put my hand on this speeding train…
12. “I get that you’re trying to be funny, Tube announcer, but you’re really not.”
13. How the hell do Oyster cards even work anyway?
14. Maybe I should just get the bus today…
15. That train should’ve waited for me! I am the centre of the universe.
16. “I have had a worse day at work than anyone else here.”
17. “Can someone tell that person to stop singing along to their music?”
18. “Ew. Ew ew ew. That person just sneezed. I need to get checked for the Flu.”
19. “I need to stop reading that person’s newspaper. BUT I CAN’T.”
20. “Whoa, that person is incredible. I should talk to them. Or at least text Rush Hour Crush. Or just do nothing.”
21. “When will we all be able to travel in our own individual tubes like in Futurama?”
22. “I forgot my headphones. Guess it’s time for an existential crisis.”
23. “What if I just… pushed someone in front of a train?”
Also this is me when I walk past people to sit in 1st class lol
