Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[dgl]

When we had diesel vans at work the smell from the exhaust was quite unpleasant, even moreso when one decided to do a regen! Diesels are not really meant for chugging around a caravan site at 10mph, the electric vans are much more pleasant (plus they have AC!)

 

[Peter Mugridge]

The maddening strings and streamers that you get when using UHU glue...

 

[AM9]

The maddening strings and streamers that you get when using UHU glue...

Aparently, aerosol spray glue of any kind can be rather messy looking like a candy floss machine out of control.

 

[CaptainHaddock]

I would ban the phrase "xx years of hurt" (currently 60) with reference to the number of years since England last won the World Cup. Yes we'd all like England to have won it since 1966 but in no way is the fact we haven't in any way painful!

 

[Peter Mugridge]

Aparrently, aerosol spray glue of any kind can be rather messy looking like a candy floss machine out of control.

Hmmm... so the UHU is actually the lesser evil here?

 

[GusB]

.

I would ban the phrase "xx years of hurt" (currently 60) with reference to the number of years since England last won the World Cup. Yes we'd all like England to have won it since 1966 but in no way is the fact we haven't in any way painful!

I dunno, on this side of the border it's quite painful having to listen to constant chatter about 1966...

Hmmm... so the UHU is actually the lesser evil here?

I remember having similar issues with the little tubes of polystyrene glue that were used for building model kits. Liquid Poly was a godsend.

 

[Falcon1200]

I dunno, on this side of the border it's quite painful having to listen to constant chatter about 1966.

At least there wasn't a public holiday declared because England had managed to qualify for the World Cup Finals!

 

[Sun Chariot]

"Say when".
The phrase uttered by dry-lipped senior-aged relatives, whilst pouring watery tea fron a seemingly vintage teapot; when my 1970s youthful self was unwillingly taken to visit them.

When what?
When to stop pouring?
There's already a word for that.
Stop.

 

[Bald Rick]

"Say when".
The phrase uttered by dry-lipped senior-aged relatives, whilst pouring watery tea fron a seemingly vintage teapot; when my 1970s youthful self was unwillingly taken to visit them.

When what?
When to stop pouring?
There's already a word for that.
Stop.

But without that phrase, we would not have one of the finest ever phrases from comedic writing:

“She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and forgotten to say ’when’.”

(PG Wodehouse).

 

[Sun Chariot]

But without that phrase, we would not have one of the finest ever phrases from comedic writing:

“She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and forgotten to say ’when’.”

(PG Wodehouse).

 

[Purple Train]

The social media-ification of WhatsApp.

 

[Statto]

I completely loath the revised format for image preview on Google Search, the old format was, when you clicked on an image to preview, it was on the right side of the screen, but you could scroll down the rest of the images whist keeping the image preview up, you can't do that anymore as the image preview now takes up the whole screen.

 

[Northumbriana]

Drivers who are turning right but don't pull fully into the right turn lane (is that it's name?) if at all and block traffic from getting past.

 

[SargeNpton]

Influencers/Digital Creators who try to take over tourist attractions for their photoshoots and videos. Even to the extent of having a couple of minders on hand to keep hoi polloi out of the way.

 

[Mcr Warrior]

Owners who maintain the frontages of their properties less than adequately, for example they've allowed low hanging branches to grow out horizontally, across all of the pavement, or, perhaps even worse, they've allowed brambles or rose bushes to so do so!

 

[Northerngirl]

After yet another horrificly hot day on the tube (the woes of us rail enthusiasts):

The massive tour groups of foreign students, that are in london all summer, they seem to go out of their way to stand in front of everyone and everything, surely it would be easier to send them as a few smaller groups atleast.

 

[jbqfc]

Pone updates that change you settings just spent an age redo doing mine

 

[notyolosmh]

Calling The Jacobite stuff like "Harry Potter train" or "Hogwarts express"

 

[SargeNpton]

Using a mobile phone whilst driving has long been banned in the UK.

I'm thinking that the same ban should apply to those who use them when in charge of a supermarket trolley. Especially those doing facetime.

 

[Northumbriana]

Using a mobile phone whilst driving has long been banned in the UK.

I'm thinking that the same ban should apply to those who use them when in charge of a supermarket trolley. Especially those doing facetime.

Whilst walking aswell. See a lot of people looking down at their phone whilst blindly moving.

 

[D1537]

Whilst walking aswell. See a lot of people looking down at their phone whilst blindly moving.

They don't even need to be moving. We were at York last week and a young woman with a very large rucksack was blocking the entire staircase on Platfom 10/11 because she was just standing there on her phone sideways to the stairs. I had to laugh when another passenger politely but firmly moved her out of the way...

 

[jfollows]

Whilst walking aswell. See a lot of people looking down at their phone whilst blindly moving.

A number of years ago I was standing somewhere, probably at a bus stop, and a young lady started chatting on her phone. So I moved away, but she followed me, so I moved again, and again she followed me, until eventually I had to ask her to stop doing so. She was apologetic but had been completely oblivious to what she was doing. I can't abide listening to people's phone conversations in public. I had a former friend who would say "do you mind if I take this call?" and then take it, even though I replied "yes". Afterwards I told him I would appreciate it if he'd at least walk away when doing so, but he just carried on doing it. He's no longer a friend, not for this reason, but it's another benefit to longer having to put up with him.

 

[Northumbriana]

They don't even need to be moving. We were at York last week and a young woman with a very large rucksack was blocking the entire staircase on Platfom 10/11 because she was just standing there on her phone sideways to the stairs. I had to laugh when another passenger politely but firmly moved her out of the way...

A number of years ago I was standing somewhere, probably at a bus stop, and a young lady started chatting on her phone. So I moved away, but she followed me, so I moved again, and again she followed me, until eventually I had to ask her to stop doing so. She was apologetic but had been completely oblivious to what she was doing. I can't abide listening to people's phone conversations in public. I had a former friend who would say "do you mind if I take this call?" and then take it, even though I replied "yes". Afterwards I told him I would appreciate it if he'd at least walk away when doing so, but he just carried on doing it. He's no longer a friend, not for this reason, but it's another benefit to longer having to put up with him.

I think there's a case for designated phone checking zones out in public that are out of the way of throughfares. Probably would require a national shaming campaign against looking at your phone anywhere else. I'd suggest a use of stocks and water pistols to really reinforce the message.

 

[gg1]

I think there's a case for designated phone checking zones out in public that are out of the way of throughfares.

Maybe a large box of some sort, perhaps painted in a bold colour for easy recognition.

 

[ETMbloke]

Sitting in either the first or last carriage of a train, someone enters the carriage from the adjoining one, then walks the whole length of the carriage, tries to open the cab door, gives up and walks back into the adjoining carriage. Why?

 

[AM9]

Sitting in either the first or last carriage of a train, someone enters the carriage from the adjoining one, then walks the whole length of the carriage, tries to open the cab door, gives up and walks back into the adjoining carriage. Why?

Because there used to be solid doors between 4-car MUs years ago so they were presumably looking for seats further forward or back. old habits (or wishes) die hard.

 

[43096]

People who still cannot get the name “Alstom” correct after well over a quarter of a century. There’s still people using “Alsthom” or the frankly weird “Alstrom”. It really isn’t that difficult, yet appears to be so for some.

 

[styles]

People who still cannot get the name “Alstom” correct after well over a quarter of a century. There’s still people using “Alsthom” or the frankly weird “Alstrom”. It really isn’t that difficult, yet appears to be so for some.

Ugh, can we add:

• Legos
• Tescos
• Asdas

to that complaint?

 

[43096]

Ugh, can we add:

• Legos
• Tescos
• Asdas

to that complaint?

Yes you can.

We'll get into a debate about apostrophes shortly now you have posted that! (Is it Tescos, or Tesco's - in which case Tesco's what?)

 

[Bald Rick]

Ugh, can we add:

• Legos
• Tescos
• Asdas

to that complaint?

“Legos” appears to be the US English version of Lego, at least according to those I know who live over there.
Perhaps the opposite of Maths and Math.