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I'm posting this for a bit of catharsis and hoping others have got equally embarrassing tales (to make me feel a bit better about myself!) I was travelling, for work, to a European country whose language I was relatively unfamiliar with. I'd been told what bus to get from the airport (and I'd...
Early 1990s, pre-central door locking, I was on an evening departure from St Pancras, first stop Wellingborough. As the train started, so a man ran up and scrambled in. Once he had caught his breath, only then did he check the service. "Is this the Welwyn Garden City train?". Oops, wrong station. I hope he got back to Welwyn OK.
I’ve told the story before of the 17:22 Glasgow Central-West Calder, customarily a Class 116 DMU. One evening, there was, rather unusually, a young couple with a couple of kiddies and suitcases. As the unit left Uddingston and began its usual struggle up the Bellshill Bank, the man asked “This is the London train, isn’t it?”
There was a report in one of the Sunday newspapers some years ago of a fellow who thought he would save time by jumping on a train from Waverley to Haymarket: unfortunately for him, he got on the only train that didn’t stop at Haymarket, the teatime Aberdeen Express (first stop Dundee). To add insult to injury, the return journey was a DMU which stopped at every station in Fife. His four minute journey took 3 1/2 hours…..
The scene was a Project Rio service heading north out of Leicester, train mostly empty as usual. Two other people in the TGS. Guard comes round checking tickets: looks at their tickets and says “This isn’t the train to Stansted Airport”. To make it worse (or funnier, depending on your point of view), Rio services out of Leicester were right away Stockport!
It took me a long time to work out how the South Eastern division worked. I thought the main line to Dover was via Greenwich etc. when I finally went on a Javelin to Ramsgate, I was surprised to learn the main express route to Thanet was via Canterbury West
My "D'oh" moments are both photographic - but for differing reasons.
Early 1990, whilst living in Preston, I was at the station for an hour's photography. Very quiet day, just usual passenger and freight. Bladder beckoned, so off I toddled thinking the Marie Celeste level of activity would be ideal toilet-timing.
I emerged less than two minutes later - and my heart sank at sight of the crimson lake liveried 47973 Midland Counties 150 pulling Derby RTCs class 103 Park Royal DMU twin, scurrying southwards away from where I had stood moments before. I never saw either again.
The Praktica BC1 SLR camera I was using at that time, stars second "d'oh". The manual film cartridge-load necessitated a finger-fed film onto the spool's sprockets. My railway photos taken in summer 1987, during a cycle trip around Devon and Cornwall, plus photos taken at Laira's Open Day in September 1991, all came to nought: the ruddy film had sprung out from the sprockets and never spooled - so every shutter-fire was onto an absence of film.
I bought a Canon EOS a month after Laira...
A few years back my mate and I had been into Glasgow for a few afternoon beers. We were heading back to East Kilbride on an early evening service and there were a couple of Irish guys sitting in the seats opposite. We got chatting and I asked them what they were doing in Scotland. They had come over for the weekend and one of them said they were staying at the Seamill Hydro hotel. I said, "think you should be on the train to West Kilbride - this one's for East Kilbride"
The one guy turns to his mate and says "Aw fook Mick, that's the second time we've done this today!" - True story !
Not a timekeeping issue for me but many years back we had other family wanting to stay over and so for a week I went and stayed with my GF in Darley Dale. In those days I worked in Loughborough at the Brush site so had the plan to catch the train from Matlock to Derby, change there and get of for the short walk to the works.
Day 1 on Monday the departures in Derby said platform 5. I could find platform 4 and 6 next to it but no 5! After finally asking someone it became apparent that it was an short terminus platform on the end and set of walking - just in time to see the train pulling away !
First time I visited Castleford was with my sister during what must have been the rebuild of Leeds station when there were a lot of services diverted through there, and calling at Platform 2. With the footbridge condemned access was via the subway to the south side of town, turning back on yourself, eventually coming through a section of demolished wall.
Several years later I was changing at Castleford, first visit since then, and naturally assumed I'd still need to change platforms, but could only remember the subway bit. So off I go, through the subway, round the back of the station, and found absolutely no path or opening to get to platform 2, despite going all the way around, back under the railway the other side, missing my train in the process. It was only when the next train rolled in that I realised everything was just using platform 1, as it did normally. I'd just assumed that what I'd encountered first was the normal way of things there.
I was getting off the Matlock train which went on to Peartree I think in those days (for RR), so a platform 2 over the bridge to 5 was really the only option.
I lived in Leeds and recall going for a job interview in Southampton around 1979/80, and on returning to Leeds from Kings Cross I decided to catch a Deltic-hauled train bound for Hull or York or Cleethorpes which ran ten minutes before the last Leeds train - I figured this would be my last chance to ride behind a Deltic in BR service, and I could hop on to the Leeds train at Peterborough. Except the Deltic stood in Stevenage station whilst the Leeds HST passed by on the fast line. Whoops.
Fortunately there was a late stopper from Doncaster to Leeds and I rolled home after midnight. And I forgot which Deltic it was!
Back in the early days of dmus, I was on a day trip to Doncaster. Walked across from Leeds City to Leeds Central, bought ticket and boarded front coach of dmu. Surprisingly it departed several minutes early, and found it was heading for Bradford Exchange. Found out that the Doncaster train was a separate portion at the rear, although there had been no gap between the two portions.
However it turned out to be a lucky day. Guard on dmu directed me to another train at Bradford - a portion of a train to Kings Cross. So a Black 5 to Wakefield Westgate via Morley Top (now cloosed) where a J6 0-6-0 shunted us onto the rear of a Leeds - Kings Cross train, and continued to Doncaster behind 60055, a Class A3 4-6-2
I had a similar experience (without the very appealing haulage!) at Stalybridge about 1990 (probably just before). I had gone down to the inset bay platform at the western end (Platform 3 at the time?) to catch the Stockport train and got on, surprised to find a surprisingly busy four-car unit. However, the reason it was busy was that the unit I had boarded was in fact a two-car one bound for Manchester Victoria and the Stalybridge set was still in the platform. Passenger information systems in those days were not very good at dealing with situations like that and there was nothing to indicate that there were two trains there. I'm not convinced they're that much better now. Somehow I got across Manchester quickly and managed to catch the train at Piccadilly that I was planning to catch in Stockport.
I also had another moment one morning at Wolverhampton station. I was waiting for a Cross-Country HST to take me to Reading for an onward connection to Eastleigh and a First North Western Class 37 rolled in with Mark 1 coaches. I thought this was to good a chance and as there was only one line to Birmingham it was a zero risk option. I didn't know about the Bescot route which we duly followed, so my haulage experience was rather spoilt by being on edge as we eventually arrived at New Street, with my HST already waiting in the platform! Fortunately, I was younger then and managed to catch it.
Catching an HST northwards from Temple Meads platform 5, I managed to board the last coach of a southbound that was too long for platform 6 and pretty much underneath the screen for the platform 5 train (which hadn't yet arrived). When they announced it was first stop Taunton I exited rapidly only to find I'd left my coat in the luggage rack. That cost me £16 for FGW to courier it back to me, whereas if I'd gone to Taunton and back it would have been free as I had a network pass at the time.
I went to see a friend in Germany in 1990, and decided to make a day trip to Dortmund (Leeds's twin town in Germany). Fast train for 25DM, slow train for 15DM. Of course, being a tight Yorkshireman I went for the slow train.
I didn't spot the note about engineering work, and it wasn't in the timetable booklet my friend had... went five stops down the line, then reversed and back to Muenster. And I still haven't been to Dortmund.
I’ve told the story before of the 17:22 Glasgow Central-West Calder, customarily a Class 116 DMU. One evening, there was, rather unusually, a young couple with a couple of kiddies and suitcases. As the unit left Uddingston and began its usual struggle up the Bellshill Bank, the man asked “This is the London train, isn’t it?”
There was a report in one of the Sunday newspapers some years ago of a fellow who thought he would save time by jumping on a train from Waverley to Haymarket: unfortunately for him, he got on the only train that didn’t stop at Haymarket, the teatime Aberdeen Express (first stop Dundee). To add insult to injury, the return journey was a DMU which stopped at every station in Fife. His four minute journey took 3 1/2 hours…..
I was at work when my mother decided to take my wife and our two sons for a train trip from Stirling to Edinburgh for a treat. The first part of the journey went well. Things fell apart on the return journey. My mum knew that Glasgow to Aberdeen trains went through Stirling. They only suspected that things were going wrong when the train started to rumble over the Forth Bridge.
Fortunately, the station staff at Dundee were very understanding...
There was a report in one of the Sunday newspapers some years ago of a fellow who thought he would save time by jumping on a train from Waverley to Haymarket: unfortunately for him, he got on the only train that didn’t stop at Haymarket, the teatime Aberdeen Express (first stop Dundee). To add insult to injury, the return journey was a DMU which stopped at every station in Fife. His four minute journey took 3 1/2 hours…..
Before the Gatwick Express, it was a matter of guesswork whether a fast train from Victoria would call at Clapham Junction (officially pickup only, but it wasn't monitored). I've ended up a East Croydon a few times, and Horley on one occasion. Usually late at night when stoppers were rarer and a tight connection at Clapham Junction meant there wasn't time to check.
Also got to Walton on Thames instead of Surbiton once when I took the wrong train from Waterloo.
But the worst one was back in the early 1980s when I misread the timetable and waited at Motherwell for the last train to London. Unfortunately it only called at Motherwell on Mondays to Fridays, and this was a Saturday, so it sailed straight through. I did manage to get a train as far as Birmingham, and a connection from there to Rugby, where I had four hours to explore the town in the wee small hours (fortunately it was June, so it got light quite early). And of course as it was now a Sunday morning, I had a long wait for the the first train out of Rugby.
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I lived in Leeds and recall going for a job interview in Southampton around 1979/80, and on returning to Leeds from Kings Cross I decided to catch a Deltic-hauled train bound for Hull or York or Cleethorpes which ran ten minutes before the last Leeds train - I figured this would be my last chance to ride behind a Deltic in BR service, and I could hop on to the Leeds train at Peterborough. Except the Deltic stood in Stevenage station whilst the Leeds HST passed by on the fast line. Whoops.
It's an ill wind...........
I was able to take advantage of that quirk of the timetable a few times. Miss my loco-halued train from KGX to Lincoln, so take the next HST and overtake it (uusally at Huntingdon) to join it at Peterborough
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My sister did this the first time she travelled on the London Underground. She travelled from Victoria to Oxford Circus, where she went up to the booking office and bought another ticket for her onwards journey on the Bakerloo line. When asked why, her response was that you had to buy a new ticket when you changed buses, so she just assumed the same applied to the underground, with them both being operated by London Transport.
My sister did the same, on a journey from, I think Kings Cross to Waterloo. prbably because it looks shorther on the Tube map, she changed at Leicester Square rather than the (for most people) rather easier change at Oxford Circus - but of course the cross-platform interchnage would have been of no advantage in her case.
Another moment - track bashing in the Far North, I boarded an overnight train at Inverness heading for Glasgow, but as the Glasgow portion looked rather busy (and was made up mainly of open stock) I baggsied an empty compartment in the Edinburgh portion, and lay down for a kip, knowing from experience that i would wake long before the train divided at Stirling.
I had reckoned without the fact that I had also spent the previous night overnighting (northbound) on the Highland Line, and that was enough to get me to sleep much more soundly than I usually did on overnighters. I woke up to find a rather amused young lady dressed for an office job sitting opposite me who, when I enquired where we were, told me we were just passing Linlithgow.
(I imagine regular commuters on that train were quite used to sharing their compartment with people who looked as dishevelled as i probably was, having spent the night dossed down on cushions)
I have twice missed a train whilst actually being on the platform waiting for it because I was too busy reading. One of those times resulted in a further wait of 1 hour.
I've done that at Leeds. Was expecting a loco hauled service to York l think. l had originally come from Keighley.A two car dmu left the platform and found it was my train. It was late at night and the only way home was via London. Guard excepted my excuse and ticket back to Reading via London was excepted.
Reminds me a bit of the days of the Glasgow - Scarborough service, which wasn't booked to call at York, but run round on the through lines. It was usually done in the platforms, so people got to know to use it to get to York, especially as it was usually a 40, but on occasion.... Bashers jumping down and legging it across the ballast was apparently far from unknown.
Early 70's coming home from a match @ Fratton Park, as the train entered the platform @ Chichester I opened the door and hopped out as i'd seen people do a million times before, not realising that the platform was at least 12 cars long and we were only just entering it.
Didn't do that again. Doh.
Early 70's coming home from a match @ Fratton Park, as the train entered the platform @ Chichester I opened the door and hopped out as i'd seen people do a million times before, not realising that the platform was at least 12 cars long and we were only just entering it.
Didn't do that again. Doh.
back in the late 1970s I did something very similar at Bristol Temple Meads.
excuse being I had a connection to make & the train I was on was a little late, but despite the fall I did catch my onward journey.
Good job I a) know how to fall & roll and b) was wearing a very heavy duty trench coat. I still got a couple or three good bruises to remind me not to do that again.
Self-inflicted embarrassment: got off a slam-door train on a snowy platform, and tried to slam the heavy door shut with my foot. How my friends still on the train laughed at me sitting in the snow
A good while back, I was doing some WY DayRover bashing and was on a stopper between Micklefield & Leeds. Was going to bail at Garforth but changed my mind and stayed on. Was kicking myself when before we got to Cross Gates we passed the freshly-restored D9002 running back to York from the East Lancs. If I'd stuck to my original plan and got off at Garforth I'd have been able to get a decent shot of it!
Ironically I'd also passed it on its way to Bury to be restored a year or so earlier, but it was on the back of a lorry on the M62 (the bit with the farm in the middle) so I'd have had no chance to take a photo anyway!
What was almost a more costly mistake, at Nuremberg Hbf in 2017 I almost misunderstood a DB staff member who said the train to Cheb (CZ) was the "third train" at the platform. I'd initially taken that to mean "let two trains go, then the next one is mine" rather than the reality which was the rearmost 2-car DMU of a 6-car formation. Luckily I spotted that the destination screen read "Cheb" a couple of minutes before it departed!
In Budapest about 20 years ago the queue for the International ticket office was moving slowly and I was getting a bit panicky about catching the train to the Ukrainian border. Luckily I got it with a couple of minutes to spare and hurried out to the train. Time to get a quick pastry from the kiosk on the platform? Just about, so quick purchase made, hurried back down the platform to my coach, and got on board feeling pleased with myself. Quick routine check down - bag, wallet, passport, ticket... Ticket??? Where was it? Surely I couldn't have been so stupid as to leave it at the kiosk? Quick decision, abandoned bag, jumped off train, ran back down platform and, merciful heaven, there was my ticket on the kiosk counter where I'd left it. Back on train just as the whistle was blowing, thanking every god under the sun but feeling a complete pillock.
Was travelling from Waterloo to Guildford late at night, fell asleep and woke up in Portsmouth. The guard very kindly didn't charge me a new ticket as the last train from Portsmouth to London was in only a few minutes so not much time to change. Got on the train, fell asleep and woke up back in London again...
I have twice missed a train whilst actually being on the platform waiting for it because I was too busy reading. One of those times resulted in a further wait of 1 hour.
I did this a few times waiting at Blackfriars for a Sutton Loop train (only 2tph) - with a train every few minutes on Thameslink, it gets quite easy to block them out and end up missing the one I wanted!
Was travelling from Waterloo to Guildford late at night, fell asleep and woke up in Portsmouth. The guard very kindly didn't charge me a new ticket as the last train from Portsmouth to London was in only a few minutes so not much time to change. Got on the train, fell asleep and woke up back in London again..
A housemate of mine caught the last train to Swansea from a night out in Cardiff, fell asleep, and was worked by the guard in Carmarthen, who said grab a coffee and we go back in an hour - no charge, we’ve all done it. Hour later he’s on the way back to Swansea… and wakes up in Cardiff again
A housemate of mine caught the last train to Swansea from a night out in Cardiff, fell asleep, and was worked by the guard in Carmarthen, who said grab a coffee and we go back in an hour - no charge, we’ve all done it. Hour later he’s on the way back to Swansea… and wakes up in Cardiff again
A former colleague of mine commuted between Reading & Paddington for a some years and on several occasions, having availed himself of a few beers at the Mad Bishop & Bear at Paddington, woke up in Cardiff.
Friday nights, I'd invariably be worse for wear on boarding the 00:12 out of Liverpool Street. I lived in Cheshunt but my best attempts at staying awake would fail me; I'd invariably wake at Sawbridgeworth, or train's termination Bishops Stortford. My crumpled-suited self would huddle in the waiting room, the electic heater and noisy platform clock for company, until first train south on the Saturday.
Once at Bishops Stortford, two police officers saw me and took pity on me. I was ushered to their marked Volvo squad car; a similarly-crumpled chap sat in back - turns out he had also overslept Cheshunt, he'd been huddled out front - but he'd seen me remain on the platform, so he'd mentioned of me.
The two police officers told us we were two lucky chaps; and what followed was a fast blast down the A10 and a drop-off outside home. Neither officer would accept my cash tip - they parted with "don't do it again". Legends.
Was travelling from Waterloo to Guildford late at night, fell asleep and woke up in Portsmouth. The guard very kindly didn't charge me a new ticket as the last train from Portsmouth to London was in only a few minutes so not much time to change. Got on the train, fell asleep and woke up back in London again...
I did this a few times waiting at Blackfriars for a Sutton Loop train (only 2tph) - with a train every few minutes on Thameslink, it gets quite easy to block them out and end up missing the one I wanted!
Kind of similar. I once travelled home from work engrossed in my book. Got to my local station, looked out of the window as we stopped, for some reason didn't clock where I was (despite getting off there umpteen times a month) then off we trundled .... as we left the station, I thought: "That's my stop just gone". Travelled down to next station, got off. This was pre real-time information, so looked at the timetable to find there was a quirky gap of 90 minutes at that time. Also pre mobile phone, so had to walk around to find a phone-box to call my wife to come and get me. She wasn't best pleased, having just put tea on the table in expectation of me walking through the door. "Doh" I thought to myself (or words to that effect).
A long time ago, when I was a Booking Clerk at Reading and living in Oxford, after the late late turn I would catch the last DMU home from Platform 8. Did this one Saturday night, not paying attention until at Didcot we continued along the main line instead of turning right for Oxford - Engineering work alterations. Stranded in Swindon at 0100 on a Sunday, everybody's worst nightmare surely! Luckily the DMU returned empty to Reading, they dropped me back at Didcot from where I took an expensive taxi home. And I was still out for my 0900 shift on Sunday.....
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