Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[Statto]

Those Baby on board badges that pregnant women wear.

Baby on board, reminds me of that episode from The Simpsons, were Homer was part of a barbershop quartet.

 

[Techniquest]

Baby on board, reminds me of that episode from The Simpsons, were Homer was part of a barbershop quartet.

Likewise! Wow it’s been quite a few years since I first watched that, feeling a bit old now

I have too many things to add to this thread right now, however for the duration I’m feeling generous so I’ll leave it for a time when I’m in the mood for a rant.

Quite, right now I’m more interested in actually planning and booking my next adventure on Sunday. It’s proving surprisingly difficult to commit to a decision!

 

[styles]

Those Baby on board badges that pregnant women wear.

I think there's a space for these, though maybe tweaked wording, e.g. to encourage people to give up seats on public transport without having to ask.

TfL provide branded ones for free: https://tfl.gov.uk/transport-accessibility/baby-on-board

I've never really understood the yellow diamond car signs saying baby on board though. As if I'd drive more aggressively around somebody without one?

 

[pokemonsuper9]

I've never really understood the yellow diamond car signs saying baby on board though. As if I'd drive more aggressively around somebody without one?

I think I heard somewhere it's for emergency services if there's a crash to know to check for them.

 

[Statto]

Likewise! Wow it’s been quite a few years since I first watched that, feeling a bit old now

I have too many things to add to this thread right now, however for the duration I’m feeling generous so I’ll leave it for a time when I’m in the mood for a rant.

Quite, right now I’m more interested in actually planning and booking my next adventure on Sunday. It’s proving surprisingly difficult to commit to a decision!

I remember when it was first shown, (that makes me feels old) from the golden era of The Simpsons which is season 3 to season 8.

 

[styles]

I think I heard somewhere it's for emergency services if there's a crash to know to check for them.

My guess it's that's a retrospective use for them. But even then, surely it only really works if you remove it any time you don't have a baby in the car; otherwise emergency service could be searching for a non-existent baby?

 

[jon81uk]

My guess it's that's a retrospective use for them. But even then, surely it only really works if you remove it any time you don't have a baby in the car; otherwise emergency service could be searching for a non-existent baby?

Most people don't realise that unfortunately, I think too many think the signs are to influence other drivers, not for the actual purpose of telling the fire brigade there might be a small baby in the car and therefore as you say the sign needs removing when there isn't a baby.

 

[mpthomson]

It's all about cash. Usually, the actual vehicle shown is LHD and cruising around in places more scenically impressive than the M25 or North Circular. Often the images are reversed to make them appear RHD.

Indeed, Ford used to use number plates that were symmetrical (111 UVO is one that springs to mind) as the image could be reversed without affecting the number plate too obviously

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: 5 Mar 2026 ==

I think there's a space for these, though maybe tweaked wording, e.g. to encourage people to give up seats on public transport without having to ask.

TfL provide branded ones for free: https://tfl.gov.uk/transport-accessibility/baby-on-board

I've never really understood the yellow diamond car signs saying baby on board though. As if I'd drive more aggressively around somebody without one?

Plus if you're close enough to read it driving a vehicle behind you're far too close anyway.

 

[Techniquest]

I remember when it was first shown, (that makes me feels old) from the golden era of The Simpsons which is season 3 to season 8.

Oh absolutely. Some proper classic episodes from that era. Last year I went on a binge and started watching all the episodes from season 1 onwards, got to the end of season 24 and the difference between seasons is shocking sometimes.

All4 had some of season 36 on recently, the quality just wasn’t there. If memory serves that’s the last season?

 

[The exile]

I used to be nicknamed "Onion" at my school. I thought it was because I had many intellectual layers.
I discovered it was thus because, when I peeled off a couple of layers, it made young women cry...

Oh for a “like” button!

 

[SargeNpton]

Records where the singer's voice is rendered by Auto-tune. Its gimmick factor waned 25 years ago, but for some artists just about all of their songs use it - who knows what they actually sound like.

 

[dgl]

Records where the singer's voice is rendered by Auto-tune. Its gimmick factor waned 25 years ago, but for some artists just about all of their songs use it - who knows what they actually sound like.

Yes, it was used by Cher on Believe and the people who recorded it tried to claim it was a vocoder and she wasn't using autotune, Sound On Sound have since had to add a disclaimer to the article they did on it.

 

[Gloster]

Books which are much easier to understand if you refer to the maps or diagrams in them when necessary, but spread these randomly through the book and neither include a list at the front or record them in the index. Having to constantly search through the pages to find or check something is thoroughly irritating; of course, if you don’t and make an assumption, that assumption will be wrong and you end up having to reread ten pages after you have found the map.

 

[Sun Chariot]

Personalised registration plates which a) make next-to-no sense, or b) spell a word which conveys no clue as to its purpose.

Mid-Thursday, locally, I espied a hybrid Kia bearing registration plate MO11UTH.
Now it's possible a dentist, or similar, has that car (T10OTH is already taken).
But - honestly? Pay a premium to tell other motorosts about a mouth?

 

[Drogba11CFC]

People who stand in the middle of the escalator with a hand on each railing.

 

[Sun Chariot]

"Skills" I had to do - I won't go as far as learn because I was hopeless - at my latter-1970s school and which have proven absolutely zero use to my life.
Yes, macramé and crochet, I'm looking at you.

Schools: when you next see a tall broad ham-hook handed young student, don't force crochet and macramé needles upon him. Give him a sport.

 

[DelW]

People who stand in the middle of the escalator with a hand on each railing.

This must be outside London. They'd last about 10 seconds on the tube - just standing on the wrong side is nearly an arrestable offence.

 

[Falcon1200]

Furthermore there should be a national standard for the escalator-standing side, to prevent the confusion seen, for example, at Glasgow Central where the instruction is 'Stand on the Left'. Anyone who has ever been in London automatically stands on the right!

 

[Oxfordblues]

Advertising on Radio Four for BBC television programmes. Why do they encourage listeners to abandon their radios and watch some dreadful drama on a rival medium? Also adverts on the BBC for the television licence fee (soon to be a whacking £180) without mentioning that you can legally watch Netflix, Amazon, Youtube, etc without one.

 

[D6130]

Furthermore there should be a national standard for the escalator-standing side, to prevent the confusion seen, for example, at Glasgow Central where the instruction is 'Stand on the Left'. Anyone who has ever been in London automatically stands on the right!

There are two national standards....left for the Scottish nation and right for the English nation!
Vive la difference!

 

[Drogba11CFC]

This must be outside London. They'd last about 10 seconds on the tube - just standing on the wrong side is nearly an arrestable offence.

This was at Waterloo yesterday.

 

[Purple Train]

This was at Waterloo yesterday.

The half-width ones leading up/down to the upper level shops? I confess I do like holding both of the handrails on those, but only if I won't hold anybody up. My memory of them is that they would be tricky to pass anyone on anyway, unless both parties were on the svelte side.

 

[Peter C]

This will certainly have been mentioned already, but I'd ban companies asking you "how did we do?" when they've done something really basic or otherwise, well, bland. Case in point: Royal Mail, from whom I've just had an email asking "how did we do?" after postie... put a parcel through the door. I think there should be an easy button on those emails to just say "eh, it was fine, can't ask for much". Or maybe if I say they could've done better, the postie will not only deliver my parcel, but he'll sing a number from Cabaret or do an impression of Julie Walters...?

-Peter

 

[Gloster]

You are just sliding off to sleep when you are jerked into wakefulness by a strange sound. All senses alert, you listen and hear it again: it is your stomach trying out a new noise which it will no doubt submit to the producers of Doctor Who.

 

[D6130]

You are just sliding off to sleep when you are jerked into wakefulness by a strange sound. All senses alert, you listen and hear it again: it is your stomach trying out a new noise which it will no doubt submit to the producers of Doctor Who.

You are just sliding off to sleep when you are jerked into wakefulness by a gigantic nervous twitch which makes your arms and legs convulse in a rather disconcerting manner and you find yourself wide awake again.

 

[Purple Train]

This will certainly have been mentioned already, but I'd ban companies asking you "how did we do?" when they've done something really basic or otherwise, well, bland. Case in point: Royal Mail, from whom I've just had an email asking "how did we do?" after postie... put a parcel through the door. I think there should be an easy button on those emails to just say "eh, it was fine, can't ask for much". Or maybe if I say they could've done better, the postie will not only deliver my parcel, but he'll sing a number from Cabaret or do an impression of Julie Walters...?

-Peter

"How likely is it that you will recommend us to a friend or colleague?"

I don't know about the people who write these questionnaires, but I certainly don't go round telling all of my friends to use SWR WiFi, not when half of them commute on TfL... and I've found that "Why don't you use Persil Extra Strong Undergarment Stain Remover instead of that cheapo Lidl own-brand version?" is not a good conversation starter.

 

[styles]

"How likely is it that you will recommend us to a friend or colleague?"

I don't know about the people who write these questionnaires, but I certainly don't go round telling all of my friends to use SWR WiFi, not when half of them commute on TfL... and I've found that "Why don't you use Persil Extra Strong Undergarment Stain Remover instead of that cheapo Lidl own-brand version?" is not a good conversation starter.

It's the standard 'net promoter score' (NPS) question.

It is a bit silly to ask it on something like WiFi, but I suppose they're asking how likely you'd be to recommend SWR to a friend, rather than just their WiFi?

 

[Purple Train]

It's the standard 'net promoter score' (NPS) question.

It is a bit silly to ask it on something like WiFi, but I suppose they're asking how likely you'd be to recommend SWR to a friend, rather than just their WiFi?

Possibly, but my point still stands - I don't go round randomly recommending products to people!

 

[styles]

Possibly, but my point still stands - I don't go round randomly recommending products to people!

I mean maybe you don't, but I've certainly had conversations with family and friends about what washing detergents we use! Not exactly in-depth stuff but say my partner seems to have an itchy skin reaction to a lot of washing powders, but Daz is absolutely fine, for example. So if someone else mentions they're getting itchy skin from their washing, I'll suggest trying Daz. Talked about which brand of nappies to buy probably half a dozen times. I'll discuss TfW vs Avanti for a journey along the north Wales coast. On the whole I think people do actually recommend products and services all the time.

Maybe not on board WiFi of course

 

[Purple Train]

I mean maybe you don't, but I've certainly had conversations with family and friends about what washing detergents we use! Not exactly in-depth stuff but say my partner seems to have an itchy skin reaction to a lot of washing powders, but Daz is absolutely fine, for example. So if someone else mentions they're getting itchy skin from their washing, I'll suggest trying Daz. Talked about which brand of nappies to buy probably half a dozen times. I'll discuss TfW vs Avanti for a journey along the north Wales coast. On the whole I think people do actually recommend products and services all the time.

Maybe not on board WiFi of course

Fair enough!