Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[Bald Rick]

I would ban cyclists from using main A roads and for not riding in single file I have been away and my route back today took me along the A25, it's at best a windy, hilly road, with very few safe passing places, and its busy, but this does not seem to deter cyclists from riding two abreast, especially on the uphill stretches and causing traffic to bunch up behind them, crawling along at 15 mph, weaving across the lane, so drivers have no option but to sometimes overtake when it's not safe to do so, then frustration piles up, and the drivers behind the cyclists, will overtake them on solid white lines, even on a bit, where there was a cycle line, a couple stuck on the main road, slowing down traffic from 40 mph to about 10, , it's not if, but when someone is going to lose their life.

sometimes there is no choice but to cycle on A roads. I couldn‘t cycle anywhere if that was a rule!

I have ridden on the A25, it’s popular as it links many climbs famous in the cycling community - Coombe Lane, White Down Hill, Leith Hill, Pitch Hill, etc.

re single file, the higheay code says this:

66 You should

• be considerate of the needs of other road users when riding in groups. You can ride two abreast and it can be safer to do so, particularly in larger groups or when accompanying children or less experienced riders. Be aware of drivers behind you and allow them to overtake (for example, by moving into single file or stopping) when you feel it is safe to let them do so

Now not all cyclists are particularly helpful, but most are. On any given long ride I do I will always have at least three people overtake me on blind corners / crests of hills / in places where there is not enough space.

 

[Falcon1200]

When I joined BR as a Booking Office Clerk in 1978 one of the many things I was taught was to keep notes neat and tidy, all facing the same way, and still do this in my wallet to this day (yes, I am a dinosaur who still uses cash). So why do Banks no longer bother? Civilisation is truly on a downward slope....

 

[pokemonsuper9]

When I joined BR as a Booking Office Clerk in 1978 one of the many things I was taught was to keep notes neat and tidy, all facing the same way, and still do this in my wallet to this day (yes, I am a dinosaur who still uses cash). So why do Banks no longer bother? Civilisation is truly on a downward slope....

Presumably, notes get cashed in via machine, which sorts them regardless of which way they are facing, and the bank just gives them back in the same way.
Do you keep all your coins the same way up or just notes?

 

[Falcon1200]

Do you keep all your coins the same way up or just notes?

Coins, not when in my pocket (rather difficult!) But if putting them down, quite often, yes.

 

[Topological]

When I joined BR as a Booking Office Clerk in 1978 one of the many things I was taught was to keep notes neat and tidy, all facing the same way, and still do this in my wallet to this day (yes, I am a dinosaur who still uses cash). So why do Banks no longer bother? Civilisation is truly on a downward slope....

Turning notes round can be easily mechanised. I fully agree that it should be banned to dispense notes the wrong way round.

I would also ban unnecessary information on receipts. Print fixed details, like the address for the online survey, on the back if you have to. Many shops give receipts that are too long for wallets. I know they want you to sign up to get the receipt by email, but still.

 

[dgl]

Agree with mile long receipts, you don't need to space the information out that much or have a load of unnecessary bumpf on it.
Some places now do double sided receipts which saves even more paper.

 

[Richard Scott]

Thats my point, see this section of road had sections of cycle lane, but it wasn't being used, put there because there is an issue with the number of cyclists who like to ride this road, and given the nature of the road, when two abreast you have to use the full road to pass safely anyway, and its very busy anyway, so passing chances are few anyway, and it's just this section, between Guildford and Dorking, it really needs its own cycleway, to separate cyclists from other road users, for their own safety its a well known problem, just ask the local people and they will say it's a major problem.

I can't disagree with you, whilst we should be patient with cyclists, and sure we all are, I'm sure a minority enjoy annoying motorists resulting in drivers taking chances to get past them.

 

[ls2270]

Agree with mile long receipts, you don't need to space the information out that much or have a load of unnecessary bumpf on it.
Some places now do double sided receipts which saves even more paper.

I bought a box of TicTacs in Sainsbury’s the other day and the receipt was bigger than my purchase!

 

[styles]

I bought a box of TicTacs in Sainsbury’s the other day and the receipt was bigger than my purchase!

Not as bad as that time I bought a single loose grape!

Back when grapes had seeds in them.

 

[cb a1]

When I joined BR as a Booking Office Clerk in 1978 one of the many things I was taught was to keep notes neat and tidy, all facing the same way, and still do this in my wallet to this day (yes, I am a dinosaur who still uses cash). So why do Banks no longer bother? Civilisation is truly on a downward slope....

If you ever worked on a cash desk, you would press down heavily on the main wad of notes and count the notes with the fingertips.

If you folded a note in half, you could, in theory get the one note counted twice and pocket the other note. By having all the notes facing the same way, this removed one of the many ways of stealing money. It wasn't done to be civilised per se, it was done to prevent theft.

Plastic notes do not fold in the same way and I suspect that counting is now done nearly wholly by machines and the myriad of anti-fraud features in a modern day banknote are presumably considered by the machines doing the counting.

I'm sure that getting the machines to organise all the notes into being in the same orientation would be possible, but that would introduce a potentially significant cost with no benefit that I can fathom.

 

[Falcon1200]

By having all the notes facing the same way, this removed one of the many ways of stealing money. It wasn't done to be civilised per se, it was done to prevent theft.

Can't say I recall ever having heard that mentioned! It was simply part of keeping everything neat and tidy, and pride in the job.

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: 30 Dec 2025 ==

And another one; Dogs that sit in a front room and bark, loudly and incessantly, at every single passing pedestrian. I won't say here what I would do with them to avoid offending the dog-loving community......

 

[Topological]

Can't say I recall ever having heard that mentioned! It was simply part of keeping everything neat and tidy, and pride in the job.

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: 30 Dec 2025 ==

And another one; Dogs that sit in a front room and bark, loudly and incessantly, at every single passing pedestrian. I won't say here what I would do with them to avoid offending the dog-loving community......

Be honest though.

When there is such a dog, it is sorely tempting to walk past several times to annoy the owners.

 

[Strat-tastic]

Not just inside, dogs anywhere that bark at you just because you're there, going about your business, not causing any threat. Grrrr, I say!
Why don't the owners do something...

 

[Bald Rick]

And another one; Dogs that sit in a front room and bark, loudly and incessantly, at every single passing pedestrian. I won't say here what I would do with them to avoid offending the dog-loving community......

Similarly, cats who meow LOUDLY for 20 minutes to be let out the back door rather than using the perfectly functional cat flap… but then when you do cave and open the door, they sniff the air outside and decide that, no, thank you, I’ll stay in.

 

[DelW]

Similarly, cats who meow LOUDLY for 20 minutes to be let out the back door rather than using the perfectly functional cat flap… but then when you do cave and open the door, they sniff the air outside and decide that, no, thank you, I’ll stay in.

That's just the cat's way of reminding you of your relative positions in the household pecking order ... as the old saying goes, "dogs have masters, cats have staff"

 

[Falcon1200]

Why don't the owners do something...

Indeed, surely the barking annoys them too?!!

Great avatar BTW

 

[styles]

Not just inside, dogs anywhere that bark at you just because you're there, going about your business, not causing any threat. Grrrr, I say!
Why don't the owners do something...

We acquired a yappy pup. She grew up for her first two years on a croft near Wick. No other people around, only one other dog, not even any cars really.

When we first got her, she would bark at everything, even just cars as we walked through the village.

She is slowly getting better. But some things are just not easy to train out of a breed. And it's not aggression (though some people may understandably see it as such), it's mainly nervousness. We are also teaching her 'quiet' as a command, which works sometimes, but if she's too distracted, it goes in one ear and out the other.

It is proving such a long journey with the barking, whereas she picks up other commands really quickly.

 

[Strat-tastic]

Great avatar BTW

Thanks!

 

[Acey]

Stilton cheese I bought ,it's been matured for months, then the storage instructions are "once opened use within 3 days "

 

[styles]

Stilton cheese I bought ,it's been matured for months, then the storage instructions are "once opened use within 3 days "

I have a bottle of vinegar with a best before date on it. You know, vinegar, that famous preservative?

 

[Acey]

I have a bottle of vinegar with a best before date on it. You know, vinegar, that famous preservative?

Yes also pickles,chutney etc usually 6 weeks after opening ,thought they were preserves !

 

[jon81uk]

Stilton cheese I bought ,it's been matured for months, then the storage instructions are "once opened use within 3 days "

Largely because while being matured it is a single large cheese. But once you introduce contaminants into the softer inside, the main risk is from your hands or knife getting other harmful bacteria into the cheese.

 

[Topological]

Largely because while being matured it is a single large cheese. But once you introduce contaminants into the softer inside, the main risk is from your hands or knife getting other harmful bacteria into the cheese.

Factual explanations...

(As a comedic thing that I would ban)

 

[AM9]

Factual explanations...

(As a comedic thing that I would ban)

What's comedic about rants based on ignorance of food contamination?

 

[Acey]

What's comedic about rants based on ignorance of food contamination?

My "rant " wasn't due to ignorance,just annoyance !

 

[Topological]

What's comedic about rants based on ignorance of food contamination?

I assumed that these posters know that it is right that these products have best before dates, but see the humour in "preservative" not actually lasting forever. If they do not, then it is slight Darwinian to learn by doing.

I guess people have different senses of humour. I would not ban having a different sense of humour to me though.

So "factual explanations on non-serious threads" retains its place on comedic things I would ban.

In a similar vein, posts about how fireworks impact air quality using overnight data from last night. We know the best thing would be to sit in silence wearing multiple layers and staring at a forest, but then what would be different about New Year?

 

[AM9]

I assumed that these posters know that it is right that these products have best before dates, but see the humour in "preservative" not actually lasting forever. If they do not, then it is slight Darwinian to learn by doing.

I guess people have different senses of humour. I would not ban having a different sense of humour to me though.

So "factual explanations on non-serious threads" retains its place on comedic things I would ban.

In a similar vein, posts about how fireworks impact air quality using overnight data from last night. We know the best thing would be to sit in silence wearing multiple layers and staring at a forest, but then what would be different about New Year?

There is a distinct difference with your 'similar vein' example, - (poor) smoke quality affects anybody in the areas where it occurs, whereas consuming contaminated food in this thread's recent posts context generally only harms those who having wrongfully assumed that it wouldn't harm them.

 

[davart]

After consuming several real ales this evening I have concluded that...

I would ban people ranting about things that they would ban, therefore rendering this thread redundant...

 

[Topological]

After consuming several real ales this evening I have concluded that...

I would ban people ranting about things that they would ban, therefore rendering this thread redundant...

Neither the philosophical realisation of post-real ale genius, nor the existential questions raised by posts made in such circumstances can be considered bannable.

It does remind me that in my drinking days I would have liked to have banned broken glasses which inexplicably empty during sessions.

 

[davart]

Ah, so you would ban the suggestions of banning things from users who have been to the pub, prior to posting?