Apologies if they’ve been mentioned before but hand-held leaf blowers. Almost always a complete waste of time and energy in a windy climate like ours. I can see they have some niche uses but I don’t think I’ve seen them being used for any of those!
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Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you
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Sun Chariot
Established Member
They create employment in the UK's urban areas
Witness: the armies of disinterested men (usually) fruitlessly moving the leaves into optimistic piles; which the inevitable breeze or passing traffic immediately sends scurrying back into all the places they had just been leaf-blowered from.
The Exile's suggestion prompts another one to ban: seasonal adverts for home and garden DIY / maintenance equipment.
I have come to realise that the adverts are actually aimed at our spouses, not at us. I realise this, because of how often I open a birthday or a Christmas gift which "enables me to do that home / garden job I've put off".
Thanks, advertisers. Just. Ruddy. Thanks.
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HS2isgood
Member
Not cute cats...
Oh, that doesn't ban anything
Oh, that doesn't ban anything
Indigo Soup
Established Member
- Joined
- 17 May 2018
- Messages
- 1,488
You may wish to consider any similar jobs which your spouse has been putting off, or which you otherwise wish to have carried out, and purchase the necessary tools and/or materials as a gift.
If you attempt this strategy, I'd recommend ensuring that the spare bedding has already been laid out in some suitable space ahead of time.
Sun Chariot
Established Member
I do have a cunning back up plan. Our house has a large loft but my wife doesn't like using the integrated loft ladder. So I've told her the loft is full of various things and tools which solve said need but need oiling / fixing / invemt any another excuse (!).
Oh - and boxes of railway model things that she doesn't know are up there...
dangie
On Moderation
For the cyclists on here.
Just bought a new pair of cycling shorts (yes Lycra). Very few cycling shops around me so I sent for them off Amazon. They are a reputable brand of shorts (Altura). I’m 5’7” so not tall. I have a bit of a paunch but certainly not fat. Therefore I ordered two pairs, one medium size and one large size. I’d keep the pair which fit and send the other pair back.
Now do cycling clothing manufacturers think all cyclists are stick insects like Mark Cavendish or Bradley Wiggins? I couldn’t get either pair on. Even the large size. So I sent them both back and ordered XL size & XXL (the largest they did).
Unbelievably the size which fits best, which I’ll keep, is the XXL. Even the XL was tight. I could have pedalled but not breathed, not ideal for a cyclist as you’ll agree. I’d better not put any weight on..!!
Just bought a new pair of cycling shorts (yes Lycra). Very few cycling shops around me so I sent for them off Amazon. They are a reputable brand of shorts (Altura). I’m 5’7” so not tall. I have a bit of a paunch but certainly not fat. Therefore I ordered two pairs, one medium size and one large size. I’d keep the pair which fit and send the other pair back.
Now do cycling clothing manufacturers think all cyclists are stick insects like Mark Cavendish or Bradley Wiggins? I couldn’t get either pair on. Even the large size. So I sent them both back and ordered XL size & XXL (the largest they did).
Unbelievably the size which fits best, which I’ll keep, is the XXL. Even the XL was tight. I could have pedalled but not breathed, not ideal for a cyclist as you’ll agree. I’d better not put any weight on..!!
Northumbriana
Member
TheTTTEGeek
Member
Of course pigeons speak to him as you clearly haven't seen his show Mike Tyson Mysteries where it is a more adult scooby doo like show. I personally found it verry funny but that might be due to the fact i'm autistic & love using scooby doo like shows to mellow out.
U.K. residents can watch it here: https://www.channel4.com/programmes/mike-tyson-mysteries
dangie
On Moderation
I wonder if they bit his ear……
Strat-tastic
Established Member
Or, as my physical chemistry lecturer called it, the law of maximum bastardry.
On this theme: a friend of mine used to talk about Fettridge's Principle of Frustration.Or, as my physical chemistry lecturer called it, the law of maximum bastardry.
dangie
On Moderation
The word ‘brave’ when totally used out of context.
BBC website this morning said Wimbledon tennis fans are ‘braving’ the high temperatures.
No. You are brave if you jump into a river to save someone’s life, you are not brave standing in a queue to watch a game of tennis.
BBC website this morning said Wimbledon tennis fans are ‘braving’ the high temperatures.
No. You are brave if you jump into a river to save someone’s life, you are not brave standing in a queue to watch a game of tennis.
I'd beg to differ -- feel that the usage for which you express loathing here, belongs legitimately in "figures of speech" territory. People have long spoken / written -- with a jocular "flavour" more often than not -- of "braving" something in the sense of choosing -- or having forced on one -- something not wished-for or particularly pleasant, but well short of the actual facing of terrors / horrors. Not wishing to come across as confrontational; but are you one who holds the view that language should always be a highly-precision instrument -- one word, one meaning, no overlapping of any kind: "vocabulary played with, to entertain", a snare and a delusion to be eschewed? I have a -- greatly liked -- friend who has a number of, shall we say, unusual views on language-related matters; including that which I've described here -- over which he can get quite irate.
dangie
On Moderation
Here’s another one. People who write an essay when two words ‘I disagree’ would cover it
ls2270
Established Member
Very good…I was just thinking the very same!Here’s another one. People who write an essay when two words ‘I disagree’ would cover it
Gloster
Veteran Member
Here’s another one. People who write an essay when two words ‘I disagree’ would cover it
I disagree. It is often quite reasonable to explain why you hold a different opinion and the length of the explanation will reflect what you consider necessary. A couple of words, even one, may suffice but it may be preferable to thoroughly explain why you disagree. As with Occam’s Razor, the simplest answer is the best, but only if it covers all the facts. (The last eight words are vital, but frequently forgotten.)
I bet Occam would have trouble finding a razor now: five-blade lubricated, eight-blade hydrated, etc.
Drogba11CFC
Member
- Joined
- 15 Sep 2009
- Messages
- 941
I'll see you pigeons and raise you seagulls. Despicable, greedy, theiving creatures. There's a whole bloody ocean of fish and they go for what I have instead.
Also, "self catering" hotels. If you advertise yourself as a hotel, I expect breakfast at the very least.
OhNoAPacer
Member
You can't ban seagulls as they don't exist, there are many species of gull but not a seagull.
Yes, I am the sort of person who gives pedants a bad name
dangie
On Moderation
Flies
How come the little bu**ers can fly in through a partially open window, but seem incapable of flying out through a wide open door..??
How come the little bu**ers can fly in through a partially open window, but seem incapable of flying out through a wide open door..??
Ahh, but does the ocean of fish have salt, vinegar, and sauce on it?
Drogba11CFC
Member
- Joined
- 15 Sep 2009
- Messages
- 941
It certainly has salt!
OhNoAPacer
Member
With the state a lot of the UK coastal waters are in it wouldn't surprise me to detect vinegar and sauce, alongside less appetising substances!
dangie
On Moderation
I bet the Mediterranean is worse. Probably just looks better.
py_megapixel
Established Member
The house across the street from ours which has had a loud alarm sounding continuously since early this morning. It's an unoccupied rental house and I can't find a working phone number for the management company...
dangie
On Moderation
House alarms must be one of the most ignored alarms ever invented.
Gloster
Veteran Member
Why do I have to get authorisation for non-alcoholic wine? I presume that they are worried that I would scan a non-alcoholic bottle, but then put a bottle of proper wine down in the packing area. Much easier to do that than stop a teenager grabbing a bottle and walking out.
gg1
Established Member
Equally as silly, I discovered a couple of months ago at Tesco that authorisation is required to buy a box of liqueur chocolates.
GatwickDepress
Established Member
From what a Peroni representative told us, it's a voluntary measure agreed upon between supermarkets and the alcohol industry to reduce the risk and optics of underage drinking - and by voluntarily doing it, it reduces the risk of it being a public spectacle and being formally legislated for.
And of course means that any public indignation is because “this is excessive” (ie the way they want it to be) rather than in favour of tighter controls.