Facebook status - guard being funny

[scotsman]

The only announcements I do are raffle ones...."7th prize is the coffee, it's a shame we never had that this morning - quite a few folk in coach b could have done with it- but never mind...

 

[Cherry_Picker]

Don't think so - once you go underground there is virtually no chance of ever getting a mobile phone signal!

If you are on the platform at a deep level tube station, set your phone's alarm for 5-10 minutes time. By then you will almost certainly be on the train in a very deep tunnel and your phone will start ringing. Answer it casually and see if anybody reacts.

 

[Tom B]

"Platform 1 for the 1019 service to London King's Cross, calling at... erm... umm..... I don't actually know where it's calling.... but it's definitely calling at London King's Cross"

"We are now approaching Debonaire Doncaster, although we're waiting for a platform now so we've got a lovely view of the sewage works. Would passengers not open the windows until we are in the platform."

Another time on Donny, someone had left their mobile phone switched on, and the ringtone was broadcast to the whole station.

 

[Crossover]

"Platform 1 for the 1019 service to London King's Cross, calling at... erm... umm..... I don't actually know where it's calling.... but it's definitely calling at London King's Cross"

Sounds a bit like when I did the announcing at Stafford and kept losing my place on the list of calls! Accidently announced an LM service to Liverpool South Parkway instead of Lime Street as well...annoyingly thats one of the ones my friend managed to record from platform level

 

[Minilad]

Approaching Doncaster last week on a 91 the guard announced "We are now approaching Doncaster. If anyone is wondering about the dark clouds in this area it's because my Mother in Law lives here" !!
He also shouted out upon entering the carriage " All tickets, passes, railcards, money, bribes or excuses please"

 

[DelayRepay]

"We will shortly be arriving in Barnsley. If you're leaving us here, please remember to take all your belongings with you, and turn your watch back by 20 years"

 

[bAzTNM]

You guys down in England must get different guards from us up here in Scotland. We barely get a peep out of them and when we do, it's basically cheek.

 

[CarterUSM]

You guys down in England must get different guards from us up here in Scotland. We barely get a peep out of them and when we do, it's basically cheek.

That's because humour in announcements is deemed unacceptable by management. So it rarely occurs now unfortunately.

 

[YorkshireBear]

Another amusing announcement..

http://soundcloud.com/schwaortz/crosscountryguard

Very nice chap- wrote a letter into XC to praise him. Hope he got to see it!

I have had that guy too! i was on my way to a university interview he was very helpful in calming me down!

That's because humour in announcements is deemed unacceptable by management. So it rarely occurs now unfortunately.

A great shame it makes my day when it happens.

 

[Skimble19]

If you are on the platform at a deep level tube station, set your phone's alarm for 5-10 minutes time. By then you will almost certainly be on the train in a very deep tunnel and your phone will start ringing. Answer it casually and see if anybody reacts.

I've done that! The look on peoples face is priceless, especially if you then "reject the call" I must get far too bored down there

 

[lookingforit35]

Not quite the same, but having got off a plane at Heathrow our planeload of weary travellers were bussed all of 50 metres to the door of the terminal. Might have been a faulty jetty I guess.

The driver announced our arrival by commenting "Welcome to Terminal 5. Not exactly a winning entry in Great Bus Journeys of the World"!

 

[OMGitsDAVE]

"We will shortly be arriving at Seaton Carew, but this station should be called Wilderness as it pretty much is compared to the area. Once again, Wilderness next stop."

 

[northwichcat]

Not quite the same, but having got off a plane at Heathrow our planeload of weary travellers were bussed all of 50 metres to the door of the terminal. Might have been a faulty jetty I guess.

The driver announced our arrival by commenting "Welcome to Terminal 5. Not exactly a winning entry in Great Bus Journeys of the World"!

I had a similar experience in Gibraltar, except it was possibly even shorter than 50 metres. There it seems to be down to it not being considered safe to walk across a certain area.
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I have a friend who sometimes uses the Harrogate between Leeds and Burley Park (as it's quicker, and more importantly, cheaper than the 19 bus), and he often muses about being on a Pacer at 6pm.

If you're travelling to the north of Leeds from outside of the Leeds area, which many people do, then you might find that a ticket to Leeds is the same price as a ticket to Burley Park or Headingley, so you have a choice of an effectively free half hourly train connection or a bus that you pay extra for, even though it runs every 10-15 minutes.
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Wouldn't it be better to breathe out?

As the molecules making up gases can be compressed in to a very small area, the whole concept of passengers breathing in or out wouldn't make any difference in reality. However, if the passengers were unable to breathe in and all started collapsing then they would take up a lot more space!

 

[Sceptre]

If you're travelling to the north of Leeds from outside of the Leeds area, which many people do, then you might find that a ticket to Leeds is the same price as a ticket to Burley Park or Headingley, so you have a choice of an effectively free half hourly train connection or a bus that you pay extra for, even though it runs every 10-15 minutes.

I live right in the middle between Burley Park and Leeds City, so it doesn't matter to me. LDS-BUY on the train is £1.65, Station Interchange-Cardigan Road is £1.90 on the 19.

 

[whhistle]

A good topic (Y).

Time to find that recording of the funny tube driver and the Mother's Day / Flash Photography and Guitar announcement. . . :P

 

[pendolino]

I had a guard once tell me to "take all personal belongings, livestock, prosthetic limbs and children" with me at a terminus

You forgot 'bobbly hats'! That's Paul, nice bloke he is, always makes the driver a cup of coffee.