Notice of intention to prosecute- Thameslink - help needed

[klmrev]

Hello all,
My partner was caught short-faring on October 09 2024. While traveling between Victoria and Three Bridges, she bought two tickets (one from Victoria to Clapham Junction, and the other from Gatwick to Three Bridges). She did this a few times (perhaps 5 or 6 occasions; I'll need to double-check in her Trainline app) before she was caught - it was a conscious choice to reduce her cost of travel to a new job (which she understands was not appropriate - see next paragraph).

Since being caught, she has maintained a clean record as she travels this route 3 times a week for work. Most importantly, she is remorseful, accepts she was wrong, and understands that fare evasion is not appropriate.

We have now received the attached letter at home. I have trawled through the forum and drafted the response below based on the advice given to other posters. I was wondering if you could please provide some feedback on the content. Please let me know if any questions.

Thanks in advance.

**Draft begins**

Dear Sir/Madam

Reference number: XXXXXX

Thank you for the opportunity to respond to your Notice of Intention to Prosecute dated 07 January 2025 with the reference number above.

On the evening of Wednesday October 9 2024, I was stopped by a Revenue Protection Inspector at Three Bridges Station and was unable to produce a valid ticket for my travel.

I offer no excuse for the above. I take full responsibility for my short-sighted decision, which in hindsight was unethical and a disservice to the hard-working railway staff and other passengers who pay in full. Instead, I wish to contribute to the maintenance of the rail network and help ensure the benefits of a well-functioning public transport system. Following that incident, I have been careful to purchase full tickets for my regular (thrice-a-week) return trips from Three Bridges Station to and from Victoria Station and will continue to do so.

I would be grateful for the opportunity to settle this misconduct without the need for court action. I wish to make amends by paying any fees you deem appropriate; the full, correct fare and any administrative costs due to this incident.

I sincerely apologise for my wrongdoing and the inconvenience this has caused.

Yours faithfully,
XXXXX

 

[alholmes]

I wish to contribute to the maintenance of the rail network and help ensure the benefits of a well-functioning public transport system.

Would you really say this naturally, or is this what AI software has generated?

 

[klmrev]

Would you really say this naturally, or is this what AI software has generated?

Thanks for reading and for commenting! I lifted that sentence verbatim from another draft on the forum.

Is your general feedback to sound more natural? I can revise the whole letter with a view towards sounding more natural and less GenAI-y.

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: 13 Jan 2025 ==

Updated as follows to revise that sentence. The rest sounds natural to me (including many original sentences) - but keen to get any feedback at all.

Dear Sir/Madam

Reference number: XXXXXX

Thank you for the opportunity to respond to your Notice of Intention to Prosecute dated 07 January 2025 with the reference number above.

On the evening of Wednesday October 9 2024, I was stopped by a Revenue Protection Inspector at Three Bridges Station and was unable to produce a valid ticket for my travel.

I offer no excuse for the above. Instead, I take full responsibility for my short-sighted decision to travel without a valid ticket, which in hindsight was unethical and unfair to the hard-working railway staff and other passengers who pay in full. I recognise the importance of paying the full fare for train travel. Following this incident, I have been careful to purchase the appropriate tickets for my regular (thrice-a-week) return trips from Three Bridges Station to and from Victoria Station and will continue to do so.

I would be grateful for the opportunity to settle this misconduct without the need for court action. I wish to make amends by paying any fees you deem appropriate; the full, correct fare and any administrative costs due to this incident.

I sincerely apologise for my wrongdoing and the inconvenience this has caused.

Yours faithfully,
XXXXX

 

[alholmes]

We always recommend not using AI, although it can help with structuring a reply. A naturally written letter usually comes across as more genuine.

Your reply looks reasonable - I’m not going to nit-pick on odd words or phrases as that is down to individual style. Suggest you just wait till tomorrow morning in case other members have any other observations, then get it sent off.