Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[yorksrob]

Pubs with laminate flooring.

Never a good sign !

 

[xotGD]

Pubs with laminate flooring.

Never a good sign !

You prefer establishments with sawdust on the floor?

 

[yorksrob]

You prefer establishments with sawdust on the floor?

A dark, deeply patterned carpet is the correct floor attire for a pub (or at least a Victorian/Edwardian mosaic).

I'll forgive a bare floor-boarded establishment its yuppie pretensions so long as the ale is up to scratch

 

[dangie]

Pubs with laminate flooring.

Never a good sign !

Pubs with televisions.......

On the other hand, pubs with televisions (Sky Sports etc) serve a purpose. They tend to attract the lager drinking Riff-Raff. Helps keep them out of Real Ale pubs.

 

[yorksrob]

On the other hand, pubs with televisions (Sky Sports etc) serve a purpose. They tend to attract the lager drinking Riff-Raff. Helps keep them out of Real Ale pubs.

It is a fair point, to keep the sports fans out of the ale pubs !.

 

[jfollows]

Programmes billed as "Election Special" but which turn out to be full of the usual rubbish about Ed Sheeran, Napoli, and The Coronation, none of which I care one jot about. Time to turn over to Bloomberg TV which is more interesting.

 

[dangie]

Programmes billed as "Election Special" but which turn out to be full of the usual rubbish about Ed Sheeran, Napoli, and The Coronation, none of which I care one jot about. Time to turn over to Bloomberg TV which is more interesting.

You actually tuned into a programme titled ‘Election Special’

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Yes that was my point. The same if someone is attacked by a shark. You choose to go into its domain, the shark doesn’t come into ours.

Have you not seen that documentary "Sharknado"?!

It is a fair point, to keep the sports fans out of the ale pubs !.

But what about those of us that like both sports and proper beer?

The thing I'd ban in pubs is the sort of music that would be more appropriate coming out of a Saxo with tinted windows and aftermarket alloys. You know, the dreadful *thump-thump* trash that you feel through your feet before you hear it!

 

[32475]

Railway lines as depicted on Google maps. They are shown as a very thin grey line and very difficult to follow, unlike a bold black line as depicted on Ordnance Survey maps.

 

[yorksrob]

Have you not seen that documentary "Sharknado"?!

But what about those of us that like both sports and proper beer?

The thing I'd ban in pubs is the sort of music that would be more appropriate coming out of a Saxo with tinted windows and aftermarket alloys. You know, the dreadful *thump-thump* trash that you feel through your feet before you hear it!

Fair point, I don't mind the sports fans themselves. I just find that the beer tends to be worse at venues that promote themselves as somewhere to watch televised sport. Whether one is as a result of the other, I don't know !

 

[Calthrop]

... coming out of a Saxo with tinted windows and aftermarket alloys.

Sometimes one comes across a thing which, when read, prompts a Lewis Carroll / Wonderland feeling, as in "Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's remark seemed to have no sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English." Was my response, to the above-quoted. (@61653 HTAFC: I'm censuring self for living under a rock -- not you for coming out with weird stuff )

 

[Mcr Warrior]

...coming out of a Saxo with tinted windows and aftermarket alloys...

Always well funny when the traffic police pull over a "rat style" Citroen Saxo (or similar) and then make the driver peel off, there and then, the car's heavily tinted front window film coverings.

 

[D821]

Overuse of the word 'elite'.
Everytime I read a report on Ukraine Putin's units, regiments and equipment are described as 'elite'.
Given how they've been given a spanking, they are definitely not elite.

 

[43096]

Overuse of the word 'elite'.
Everytime I read a report on Ukraine Putin's units, regiments and equipment are described as 'elite'.
Given how they've been given a spanking, they are definitely not elite.

I suspect it's a mis-spelling. Should use 's' and 'h' in place of the first 'e' and 'l'.

 

[xotGD]

A couple more for the list:

People who say "This is where the magic happens" when giving a tour of a factory or similar.

Local news presenters who, at the end of the programme say "We'll do it all again tomorrow".

 

[D6130]

Railway lines as depicted on Google maps. They are shown as a very thin grey line and very difficult to follow, unlike a bold black line as depicted on Ordnance Survey maps.

Fully agree. I prefer Mapy.cz instead of Google Maps. Apart from not showing the locations of individual businesses, its mapping is far superior, showing contours, selected walking and cycling routes and showing railways prominently. In fact, if you enlarge it sufficiently, it more or less shows you the complete track layouts of stations, yards, depot's, etc....all over the world.

 

[32475]

Fully agree. I prefer Mapy.cz instead of Google Maps. Apart from not showing the locations of individual businesses, its mapping is far superior, showing contours, selected walking and cycling routes and showing railways prominently. In fact, if you enlarge it sufficiently, it more or less shows you the complete track layouts of stations, yards, depot's, etc....all over the world.

Many thanks D6130. That’s really clear and detailed. I’ve downloaded the app already!

 

[Techniquest]

Fully agree. I prefer Mapy.cz instead of Google Maps. Apart from not showing the locations of individual businesses, its mapping is far superior, showing contours, selected walking and cycling routes and showing railways prominently. In fact, if you enlarge it sufficiently, it more or less shows you the complete track layouts of stations, yards, depot's, etc....all over the world.

I wasn't aware of this, I shall go and have a look right now! Having now done so, it's not bad I have to say. It seems to have issues loading here, on the mobile website at least, but it's quite an interesting option!

 

[birchesgreen]

I had a look at Mapy.cz but it seemed quite wrong on some of the locations in my local area.

 

[Ediswan]

I had a look at Mapy.cz but it seemed quite wrong on some of the locations in my local area.

Mapy.cz is a rendering of OpenStreetMap. OSM always welcomes contributions to the map.

 

[Gloster]

British GrASp asking me for my ‘experience’ during my ‘meter reading experience’. Not only is the request poorly formulated and makes it sound like something you would have in a backstreet off the Reeperbahn, but I read the dumn thing myself and did not undergo any experience while I did so. The only thing I have experienced is frustration that they yet again require me to submit my meter number.

 

[Trackman]

British GrASp asking me for my ‘experience’ during my ‘meter reading experience’. Not only is the request poorly formulated and makes it sound like something you would have in a backstreet off the Reeperbahn, but I read the dumn thing myself and did not undergo any experience while I did so. The only thing I have experienced is frustration that they yet again require me to submit my meter number.

I would have wound them up and said it was traumatic and not been able to sleep since and wish to make a complaint.

 

[Herefordian]

Teabags falling back into the mug.

Makes an annoying mess.

 

[py_megapixel]

Teabags falling back into the mug.

Makes an annoying mess.

Also, teabags in single-serve packets which you have to tear (often found in hotels). I can't be the only one who finds those things fiddly to open: tear too high up and you can't get into it; too low down and you'll break the bag inside at the same time. They should just put the teabags loose in a box and be done with it.

Teabags on strings should also be banned. That's what teaspoons were invented for.

 

[dangie]

.....Teabags on strings should also be banned. That's what teaspoons were invented for.

Agree 100%. Totally pointless.
Stir the teabag around in the cup/mug then you have to disentangle the hot teabag from the spoon so you can chuck it in the bin.

 

[Mcr Warrior]

Stir the teabag around in the cup/mug then you have to disentangle the hot teabag from the spoon so you can chuck it in the bin.

That would seem to be a waste of a spoon.

 

[Cross City]

Overly hopped, high ABV and stupidly flavoured craft beer which are as such to cover up the fact that the actual beer is terrible.

These DIPAs/NEIPAs/etc are just pumpkin spiced lattes for the male form of the basic -white-girl idiom.

Real ale bores can get in the bin too.

 

[birchesgreen]

Yeah flavoured beer especially stouts can be very hit and miss, though when they are a hit they are usually very good so its worth risking a few misses.

 

[52290]

Overly hopped, high ABV and stupidly flavoured craft beer which are as such to cover up the fact that the actual beer is terrible.

These DIPAs/NEIPAs/etc are just pumpkin spiced lattes for the male form of the basic -white-girl idiom.

Real ale bores can get in the bin too.

As a real ale bore I won't fit in the bin!

 

[dangie]

Overly hopped, high ABV and stupidly flavoured craft beer which are as such to cover up the fact that the actual beer is terrible.

These DIPAs/NEIPAs/etc are just pumpkin spiced lattes for the male form of the basic -white-girl idiom.

Real ale bores can get in the bin too.

Whereas I do agree that some of the so named ‘craft beers’ are not particularly nice (awful in fact) I do think that choice is a good thing, and as long as pubs serve ‘real beer’ everything’s fine.

Note: My local, a small Micro Pub, serves 4 real ales, 4 ciders & 3 craft beers. Over the years the pub has been opened the different beers must run into the 1000’s or certainly close to it. I was in there on Sunday and I’ll be in again tomorrow. The beers will be different. Will I like them? I don’t know, but I’ll certainly enjoy trying them.

One thing is certain. They’ll all be better than John Smith’s…..