Tips for a good life when you get old

[johnnychips]

I know that we have a lot of members on here who are over 60, and many even older, though they don’t explicitly say so. I’ll say now that I’m 61 and still working.

I was just looking at King Charles. He’s in his seventies. This must be the most stressful week of his life, and he seems to be bearing up magnificently. Yet Biden and Trump are older than him and they still seem to want to be involved in politics.

I’m single, but I do know we have a lot of singles, widows, single divorcees, and widowers on here, so what are your tips?

I was wondering if I was getting physically incapable of doing my job (teaching) as I got older, but all this seems to manifest itself in is falling asleep on the way home on the train for about twenty minutes.

I’m thinking I could do another four years, but then? How can I have a good life? I’m an optimist, by the way.

Any ideas?

 

[Cloud Strife]

How can I have a good life?

I think a lot of it (judging by the general population in Poland) is having a sense of purpose. My wife's uncle is hugely involved with politics, and while I don't agree with his political stance, it's clear that he's much more lively than other men his age.

 

[yorksrob]

I know a few retired people (including my parents) and the key to their happiness seems to be keeping busy with things they enjoy.

Having a couple of hobbies is a good thing. I know that if I retired tomorrow I have enough to keep me interested. Sadly I'm nowhere near.

 

[Simon11]

I was just looking at King Charles. He’s in his seventies. This must be the most stressful week of his life, and he seems to be bearing up magnificently. Yet Biden and Trump are older than him and they still seem to want to be involved in politics.

Is it really stressful for King Charles at the moment? He has a huge team under neath him and he hardly has to lift a finger. He wont be worrying about the washing and the ironing!

If another Prince Andrew Story comes along, that will be stressful for him.

 

[steamybrian]

As a person over 70 here my tips-
1. Keep fit by undertaking exercise- walking, swimming, cycling, etc
2. A balanced/ healthy diet by mainly eating naturally grown food such as meat, fish, fruit, vegetables, eggs, milk
3. Limited amounts of "man made" food/drink such as burgers, fried food, fried chips, beer.
4. Undertake hobbies that involve some exercise such as joining your local hertiage railway as a working volunteer...

 

[TheEdge]

Is it really stressful for King Charles at the moment?

Let me know how you'd cope with your mother dying, you get less than 24 hours to privately mourn, then have to do a national tour, then lead the nation in a period of national mourning while simultaneously adjusting to a new job that entirely takes over your life in every way.

I'm pretty sure you'd be stressed

 

[Ashley Hill]

My widowed father who’s 84 says having something planned for each day helps even if it becomes a routine. Eg Monday housework,Tuesday gardening,Wednesday day out,Thursday hobby,Friday shopping and pub,Saturday day out and finally pub and roast dinner on Sunday and repeat. It’s not quite that rigid but getting out and seeing friends is important. As mentioned up thread volunteer on your nearest preserved railway once or twice a week and make the most of your bus pass!

 

[baz962]

Excercise for sure. Not excessively though. I am an ex bodybuilder and used to read up a lot and there was a famous strongman that had a saying that when your legs go , you go. I remember a study year's ago and a team took 16 older people who required walking aids, such as walking sticks, Zimmer frames and such. They gave them all light weight bearing excercises and all of them discarded their walking aids. They then split them into two groups of eight and one group kept on excercising and the other group stopped. All eight that stopped had to start using the walking aids again, apart from one.

 

[AlterEgo]

Let me know how you'd cope with your mother dying, you get less than 24 hours to privately mourn, then have to do a national tour, then lead the nation in a period of national mourning while simultaneously adjusting to a new job that entirely takes over your life in every way.

I'm pretty sure you'd be stressed

Yes quite. To be fair he hasn’t stopped, and has to publicly make appearances and grieve. He’s also got several immediate issues to try his best to resolve with his family, not least the Andrew Problem and the rift between his two sons.

I expect as well as being wealthy and well looked after, his sense of purpose is what keeps him sprightly.

 

[Cowley]

It might be worth not getting too involved with discussing King Charles here because he’s very much an outlier where it comes to a discussion like this - which I think @johnnychips intended to be about the everyday person and is actually an important thing to talk about…

That said I’ll add my bit now.
My Dad is 80 in December and I’ve just taken him away for a weekend in Wales to do a couple of railways and a few walks. He had a few heart issues about twenty years ago which thankfully was able to be sorted out.

After these problems and once he’d taken a slightly early retirement at 60 he decided to look after himself a little better and over the last couple of decades he’s walked the entire southwest coast path bit by bit.

By now it really shows compared to a lot of people in his age group as he has no problem walking for long periods of time. Of course he’s at an age where certain things are a little creaky but I think they’d be a whole lot worse if he hadn’t been gently pushing himself to do these things.

Walking is something that I’ll definitely try and do more of as I get older.

 

[PeterY]

I'm 64. I class myself as divorced but my ex has passed away since. I enjoy being single and to be honest I hated married life.

I love my railways I cycle an average of 100 miles week . I now only work 20 hours (max) a week. I have a good circle of friends. I volunteer in a charity shop but do quite a few hours in the winter. (when I'm not gardening) My lifestyle choices could be a lot better, like eating more fruit and veg and giving up smoking.

 

[BrianW]

My 'recipe' (73y.o.):

Gave up full-time job at 63 on full-pension. Took up role on a part-time/ casual basis i.e accepting offers to work when it suited me. Planned 3-4 Rail Rover tickets per year- spring to autumn. Not enough daylight time in winter. Enjoy the planning. Start as early as allowed each day. Start from a good central point. Approx 2 hours per place visited eg Knaresborough- can decide to revisit for longer another time, or not! I tend to Wetherspoons (suits me, reliable) and Travelodge or Premier Inn (similarly).

All took a knock with lockdowns etc- took me time to regain confidence. Now, sorry to say guys, given up again due to uncertainty of strikes.

So now taken up the equivalent with buses, and my old-gits free pass (which is valid EVERYWHERE in England)- harder to plan but Mr Google helps a lot.

At home, half-hour walk in the park daily, timed to suit weather forecast online when precipitation and wind are low!

Greet others- research shows social interaction is good.

I've joined a local Model railway club- rekindled interest.

Shop daily when at home- keeps the weight down and gives exercise- use a checkout with a real person- and speak to them (ie choose an older person!)

A lot here in common with other contributors, but not everything. Do what suits you.

Volunteer somewhere you feel wanted and needed.

Not sure about the Coast path- a bit rugged and windswept for me- by all means with someone who walks at your pace!

 

[yorksrob]

My 'recipe' (73y.o.):

Gave up full-time job at 63 on full-pension. Took up role on a part-time/ casual basis i.e accepting offers to work when it suited me. Planned 3-4 Rail Rover tickets per year- spring to autumn. Not enough daylight time in winter. Enjoy the planning. Start as early as allowed each day. Start from a good central point. Approx 2 hours per place visited eg Knaresborough- can decide to revisit for longer another time, or not! I tend to Wetherspoons (suits me, reliable) and Travelodge or Premier Inn (similarly).

Sounds like an excellent plan to me

 

[htafc]

I love my railways I cycle an average of 100 miles week . I now only work 20 hours (max) a week. I have a good circle of friends. I volunteer in a charity shop but do quite a few hours in the winter. (when I'm not gardening) My lifestyle choices could be a lot better, like eating more fruit and veg and giving up smoking

I see you also love smiley faces!

 

[Busaholic]

and giving up smoking.

I gave up smoking just before my 65th birthday in 2013, and miss it not one iota. I still have the last B&H packet of 20 unopened somewhere. I've never been much of a drinker, other than wine, which I regard as a 'must' but in smaller quantities than before. It is pertinent that, after decades, I am living on my own, so no-one ordinarily to share a bottle with. My capacity for red wine has decreased markedly as strengths of alcohol have increased, and I may soon give it up for good.

Exercise is important, even for the physically decidedly unfit, whether that be through lifestyle choices or medical adversity. Multiple Sclerosis makes my walking something unpleasant to watch I'd imagine, but I'm determined and will persevere. I only wish there were more places to sit down while I'm out, but they tend to be occupied by those who spend all day on the street and in the parks, not that generally any of them give me trouble.

Best to avoid confrontations, verbal or physical, unless absolutely imperative: a moment's reflection can make even the last appear fatuous.

Above all, trust your instincts, both about people and situations. You wouldn't have come this far if you hadn't, and remember above all -- if something sounds too good to be true. 99.9% of the time it will be!

 

[Gloster]

Just a tiny point. Try to keep all your paperwork (bills, payments, etc.) organised. It may seem obvious, but I find sorting out any problem with them far more of an inconvenience than it used to be. God knows how many years British GrASp have taken off my life in the last couple of months.

 

[Ivor]

I’m hurtling towards 70, recently realised physically the aches & pains have caught up with me & shift work sometimes getting up at 4am & on my feet all day it’s tough.

After decades in sales found myself without work at 64 (need to work) & ended up with agency work on the railway (work hit & miss zero hours) & since the strikes my work was getting cancelled & ASB on railway solo working following an ‘incident’ I decided a couple of months ago to call it a day, I thought enough is enough.

I’ve found not working strange but still get up early ‘ish, started to get to music concerts when I can & football both of which I love.

A widower now but determined to do things I feel I missed out on, the basics, I’m a Londoner but realised so much in London I’ve not seen so ticking off some of that & hope to keep doing so.

My treat when out is a pint & ‘reflect’ but often it’ll just be a cuppa as don’t want to fall into the trap of being a regular in the pub. Have to live within my means like us all but so far things are ok. Biggest issue I have is ensuring I eat little junk food.

The mountain bike has been dusted down & although a couple times a week I cycle locally (can’t do long cycles) I take a sarnie & a bottle of water & find a bench to recover.

I can see how easy it would be a couch potato but my point is sometimes the basic things give the greatest pleasure, I’m determined to keep on keeping on OP.

 

[Lloyds siding]

I used to discard files in the civil service (weeding). in the main these were those of people who had died. I can tell you what factors hepled people live to a ripe old age, but whether it was a good life, the files only sometimes revealed. However our late Queen had several, but not all of these.
To live a long time be:
a) female
b) a virgin...nuns in particular seem to live longer than most
c) have servants. Richer members of the landed gentry, especially those in the House of Lords, lasted well.
d) be involved in things after 'retirement age'. People who worked in charities, did part-time jobs, worked as actors on stage, etc. all seemed to survive well
e) live abroad in a warm, but not hot, climate. South Africa, south of France, Spanish islands, California all featured in my longevity list
f) if you can't live abroad then live in the balmier parts of the UK: so seaside resorts, especially on the south coast. I know there's a lot of self selection here. but those who retire to Eastbourne, Bexhill, etc seem to get a good innings.
g) remain active. It was clear that people who had been fit in earlier life, e.g. playing some sport, hiking, a job which involved a fair bit of walking or physical effort (in moderation) were able to remain mobile and fit. However this did not apply to professional footballers, rugby players or boxers in the main.

 

[Busaholic]

I’m hurtling towards 70, recently realised physically the aches & pains have caught up with me & shift work sometimes getting up at 4am & on my feet all day it’s tough.

After decades in sales found myself without work at 64 (need to work) & ended up with agency work on the railway (work hit & miss zero hours) & since the strikes my work was getting cancelled & ASB on railway solo working following an ‘incident’ I decided a couple of months ago to call it a day, I thought enough is enough.

I’ve found not working strange but still get up early ‘ish, started to get to music concerts when I can & football both of which I love.

A widower now but determined to do things I feel I missed out on, the basics, I’m a Londoner but realised so much in London I’ve not seen so ticking off some of that & hope to keep doing so.

My treat when out is a pint & ‘reflect’ but often it’ll just be a cuppa as don’t want to fall into the trap of being a regular in the pub. Have to live within my means like us all but so far things are ok. Biggest issue I have is ensuring I eat little junk food.

The mountain bike has been dusted down & although a couple times a week I cycle locally (can’t do long cycles) I take a sarnie & a bottle of water & find a bench to recover.

I can see how easy it would be a couch potato but my point is sometimes the basic things give the greatest pleasure, I’m determined to keep on keeping on OP.

I hope you're able to make use of your Freedom Pass to go and find some of those places and things you never got to before. I spent 40 years in London, but never made it to Westminster Abbey or the National Gallery for instance, or Watford for that matter!

 

[niggill617@gma]

I know that we have a lot of members on here who are over 60, and many even older, though they don’t explicitly say so. I’ll say now that I’m 61 and still working.

I was just looking at King Charles. He’s in his seventies. This must be the most stressful week of his life, and he seems to be bearing up magnificently. Yet Biden and Trump are older than him and they still seem to want to be involved in politics.

I’m single, but I do know we have a lot of singles, widows, single divorcees, and widowers on here, so what are your tips?

I was wondering if I was getting physically incapable of doing my job (teaching) as I got older, but all this seems to manifest itself in is falling asleep on the way home on the train for about twenty minutes.

I’m thinking I could do another four years, but then? How can I have a good life? I’m an optimist, by the way.

Any ideas?

If you are male, get your prostate tested, not just the finger job, but also PSA test.

 

[Ivor]

I hope you're able to make use of your Freedom Pass to go and find some of those places and things you never got to before. I spent 40 years in London, but never made it to Westminster Abbey or the National Gallery for instance, or Watford for that matter!

Moved down to the Coast a few years ago & so miss the Freedom Pass but have a bus pass & I bought a Senior Railcard for cheaper rail but of course it’s for off peak but if I get to town late morning I often try & get a cheapo advanced booking at a Premier Inn or similar especially if it’s a mid-week match but needs to be done & try & make a two dayer with one overnight.

And with all it’s problems I miss London terribly, with that said working on the railway for five years especially much of it working solo I’ve witnessed things I never remotely saw in London but that’s another post for another day

 

[3141]

As a person over 70 here my tips-
1. Keep fit by undertaking exercise- walking, swimming, cycling, etc
2. A balanced/ healthy diet by mainly eating naturally grown food such as meat, fish, fruit, vegetables, eggs, milk
3. Limited amounts of "man made" food/drink such as burgers, fried food, fried chips, beer.
4. Undertake hobbies that involve some exercise such as joining your local hertiage railway as a working volunteer...

From someone who is 83, I absolutely agree (and with other posts that have expanded on these points). But I'd add that it's important to be getting on with these things from as early as possible, and not wait till you've retired.

It no doubt also helps to have inherited the right genes.

If you are male, get your prostate tested, not just the finger job, but also PSA test.

Yes. I didn't do that until last year, when my PSA measured 73.5 (should have been about at 8 at my age), and the prostate cancer diagnosis showed it was advanced. Fortunately the medication I'm now having seems to have stabilised the situation, the PSA is down to 0.2, and I'm still reasonably fit and can walk at least three miles without collapsing (I haven't experimented to find out at what point I would collapse), but if I'd had the test done at least a year earlier my overall situation would be a lot better.

 

[Howardh]

From someone who is 83, I absolutely agree (and with other posts that have expanded on these points). But I'd add that it's important to be getting on with these things from as early as possible, and not wait till you've retired.

It no doubt also helps to have inherited the right genes.

Yes. I didn't do that until last year, when my PSA measured 73.5 (should have been about at 8 at my age), and the prostate cancer diagnosis showed it was advanced. Fortunately the medication I'm now having seems to have stabilised the situation, the PSA is down to 0.2, and I'm still reasonably fit and can walk at least three miles without collapsing (I haven't experimented to find out at what point I would collapse), but if I'd had the test done at least a year earlier my overall situation would be a lot better.

Yes, I have postrate issues, think it's generic and before covid I had a test (as my dad had enlarged postrate) and came back with a PSA of around 5 - 6 (it fluctuated), happily it's stayed that figure so (they tell me) if i have cancer it's the very slow growing one and not to worry. I have tablets for my "flow" but they seem to have side effects. Whatever, i'll still take them and continue to be tested.

As for reaching a certain age - once you reach my age the trap not to fall into is "oh, I'm gonna die anyway so might as well eat, smoke and drink what's left of it away"; there might be a point to that but if you are still fit and healthy in your 60's, why not stay that way into 70's and 80's then you can always get out and about, play sports, enjoy the pub without guilt etc?

I eat tons of salad, very little manufactured stuff like burgers and pizzas, really cut down on sugar and salt so hate anything enriched with it, play badminton and hockey, like my wine but not to exess (see under beer), enjoy pubs, clubs, travel (but not with Avanti) and hate modern television which gets me out more!!

 

[ChrisC]

I’ve been retired 8 years now and I can’t believe how quickly those years have passed by. I now feel that I was fortunate to be able to retire early from teaching at the age of 58 and so it seems strange having had these 8 years to now be coming up to State Pension age next month and getting my bus pass. It was a very quick decision to retire when I did, as I was intending to carry on working for quite a few years more.

It was a result of having my sister stay with me for a few weeks which led to the decision. She saw how I was going in to work before 8am every morning and not coming home much before 6pm. Even after that long day at work and working through my lunch break, I was still bringing some work home to do in the evening and I used to spend about 3 hours every Sunday evening typing out my planning for the coming week. Lots of this work was unnecessary paper work to tick boxes, which after 35 years experience teaching I didn’t need to do. My sister saw how tired I was and asked me why I was still going to work. I looked at what my teachers pension would be if retired at 58 and it was actually more than enough to live comfortably. My State Pension will be a nice bonus which I didn’t think I would actually need, but now we have the high energy costs it will be very useful. Being single and owning my house with no mortgage to pay has helped. I certainly would have been very happy to carry on teaching for a few more as I loved that part of the job working with the children and until Covid came along I still went in to school one morning a week to help hear readers etc. It was all the unnecessary time having to be spent on admin that I’d had enough of.

After that background information now to get back to the main theme of this thread. This is what I have done these past 8 years.

As most others have recommended I have kept very active. Perhaps I don’t have to be get up quite so early every the morning as I did when I was working, but I do feel that it is important not to get into the habit of in staying in bed later and later. I wake up most mornings at around 7am and I am always up and about before 8am. At the other end of the day I’m usually in bed around 10.30 pm although I do then sometimes spend some time reading.

I try to go at least one good walk each week of between 5 and 8 miles. Unless the weather is really bad I try to keep this up all year round. I’ve also just started cycling after not having been on a bike since I was in my teens. Just like my walking I want to do at least one cycle ride each week, slowly building up my distance. I have to admit that my new cycle is an e-bike.

Instead of driving into town to do large supermarket shops I walk regularly to smaller local shops in the next village to do most of my food shopping. I’m paying higher prices but saving on petrol and getting the exercise. Also I’m supporting some smaller independent local businesses and getting far better quality food from butchers, greengrocers, bakery etc.

I spend lots of time doing my garden and also some voluntary gardening in a local church grounds. I also do some bellringing at the village church but there are now so few of us that this is regularly cancelled.

Since retiring I have tried to go away for at least a few days each month staying in hotels and exploring various UK cities, towns, rural and coastal areas. This usually involves a considerable amount of walking. I have done quite a few regional rail rovers in various parts of the country and a few weekly bus tickets. These trips away are often to cities during the winter months with visits to museums etc.

I’m trying to get to the theatre and music events more often. I am finding that my theatre visits are more often to the afternoon matinee these days rather than going out in the evening. I am generally going out less in the evenings but my days are often so active and busy that I don’t have the energy.

I’m now busy doing enjoyable things that I want to do that I don’t know how ever I had time to go to work. I would definitely say the key thing is to keep active but don’t feel guilty if you have the occasional day of rest. Enjoy sitting in the garden doing nothing on a warm day in summer. Sometimes I quite welcome a few wet days as it gives me the opportunity to stay in and clean the house! Also, it is good sometimes to just sit and read. I do watch the tv most evenings.

Having enjoyed 8 very active years retirement and reaching my State Pension age next month I know that time will go so quickly as I approach 70 in four years time. Hopefully I will continue to be just as active although I am already aware that not everything is so easy. I wish they wouldn’t make some stiles so high to climb on public footpaths! When I’m away on holiday I’m pleased that rail rovers often don’t allow travel before 9am and then I can enjoy a leisurely breakfast rather than rushing out at 6am to,get an early train as I would have done in the past. It’s the same at the end of the day and I rarely leave it to return on late trains these days.

Enjoy your retirement but keep active.
One final point. I do try to eat fairly healthily and eat lots of fruit, vegetables and salads. I don’t eat much fast food and have only been in a McDonalds about 3 times in my life. I do like the occasional fish and chips and Chinese food. I like to do most of my own cooking but do eat some ready meals but these are usually the more expensive higher quality ones. I don’t drink alcohol excessively but do like the occasional pint of real,ale and a gin or two. I drink gallons of tea.

 

[johntea]

I'll wait and see if I get there in the first place! The amount of funerals I've attended for people that were just looking forward to or starting retirement is quite scary!

Then last week an old classmate of mine from school was playing a charity football match and collapsed, sadly there was nothing they could do for the poor guy in the end...same age as me (34), we never know when our time is going to be up

 

[Butts]

I gave up smoking just before my 65th birthday in 2013, and miss it not one iota. I still have the last B&H packet of 20 unopened somewhere. I've never been much of a drinker, other than wine, which I regard as a 'must' but in smaller quantities than before. It is pertinent that, after decades, I am living on my own, so no-one ordinarily to share a bottle with. My capacity for red wine has decreased markedly as strengths of alcohol have increased, and I may soon give it up for good.

Exercise is important, even for the physically decidedly unfit, whether that be through lifestyle choices or medical adversity. Multiple Sclerosis makes my walking something unpleasant to watch I'd imagine, but I'm determined and will persevere. I only wish there were more places to sit down while I'm out, but they tend to be occupied by those who spend all day on the street and in the parks, not that generally any of them give me trouble.

Best to avoid confrontations, verbal or physical, unless absolutely imperative: a moment's reflection can make even the last appear fatuous.

Above all, trust your instincts, both about people and situations. You wouldn't have come this far if you hadn't, and remember above all -- if something sounds too good to be true. 99.9% of the time it will be!

Gold - send them on to me and I will make sure they don't go to waste

Been lucky with my health - despite 20 of the above a day for over 40 years only ever had time off ill to have my tonsils out over 30 years ago.

Worked all through the pandemic without succumbing to the dreaded covid .

 

[Acey]

Simple,eat all the things you DON'T like ( Brussels/Carrots ,Branny things etc ) don't eat all the things you DO like ( Burgers/Chips/Sweets/ Cake etc ) do all the things you DON'T like ( Exercise/Work/Cleaning/Cutting the lawn etc ) and don't do all the things you DO like ( Lazing around/Late to bed/late to rise/Drinking lots of alcohol /over indulging in sugary,fatty and ultimately tasty food ) and you will live a long and boring life

 

[Ivor]

Simple,eat all the things you DON'T like ( Brussels/Carrots ,Branny things etc ) don't eat all the things you DO like ( Burgers/Chips/Sweets/ Cake etc ) do all the things you DON'T like ( Exercise/Work/Cleaning/Cutting the lawn etc ) and don't do all the things you DO like ( Lazing around/Late to bed/late to rise/Drinking lots of alcohol /over indulging in sugary,fatty and ultimately tasty food ) and you will live a long and boring life

What a killjoy you are but got to say you’re probably spot on.

As I approach 70 I do far more of the stuff that’s good for me that you quoted & yep I’ve found I’ve become really boring

 

[Butts]

What a killjoy you are but got to say you’re probably spot on.

As I approach 70 I do far more of the stuff that’s good for me that you quoted & yep I’ve found I’ve become really boring

Light up a Benson and chill

 

[swt_passenger]

Light up a Benson and chill

And for our younger readers, that must be what you did before Netflix…