Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[Ediswan]

I'm not against coupons, just have them ready!

Then you have those who have a whole pile of coupons ready, but are relying on the staff to check which, if any, are valid for something they just had scanned.

 

[duncanp]

Then you have those who have a whole pile of coupons ready, but are relying on the staff to check which, if any, are valid for something they just had scanned.

....who then argue with the staff when they are not valid, either because they have expired, or for some other reason in the terms and conditions.

 

[yorksrob]

Loud people in pubs.

 

[xotGD]

I don't know what the former is, but I'd call the latter "emo" rather than "rock", though there is clearly a relationship*. I wouldn't agree with your dislike of them, I quite like them to be honest, though they are clearly a different genre from say Queen.

* In that the wide genre of "rock" basically encompasses most things you can do** with a drum kit and electric guitar.
** Politely

That's made me think of one...

People who want to sub-categorise music into a thousand different genres.

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: 22 Apr 2022 ==

Loud people in pubs.

People in pubs ordering ridiculously large rounds.

You think that there is one person in front of you but in reality there are a dozen.

 

[yorksrob]

People in pubs ordering ridiculously large rounds.

You think that there is one person in front of you but in reality there are a dozen.

Especially if they all want some keg larger, and the nitrogen's running out, and the bar person's standing there gazing into the distance whilst wiggling the glass about under the tap, pretending that it's making the booze come out faster !

 

[Cdd89]

Pings. Getting to be a real annoyance now when sitting on a train or bus, someone continually getting pings when someone has replied to them

Relatedly, irritating default alert tone noises.

Most notably, the Samsung ‘whistle’ text alert sound. Drives me to despair every time I hear it. Though thankfully the phones where it was the default are dying out now.

 

[Jimini]

Relatedly, irritating default alert tone noises.

Most notably, the Samsung ‘whistle’ text alert sound. Drives me to despair every time I hear it. Though thankfully the phones where it was the default are dying out now.

Amen to that!

 

[Bletchleyite]

Especially if they all want some keg larger, and the nitrogen's running out, and the bar person's standing there gazing into the distance whilst wiggling the glass about under the tap, pretending that it's making the booze come out faster !

Pubs that don't do decent cider. "Will Strongbow do?" Well, looks like it'll have to, but it isn't 1990.

 

[yorksrob]

Pubs that don't do decent cider. "Will Strongbow do?" Well, looks like it'll have to, but it isn't 1990.

If only the old Cider tap at Euston were still a thing.

Perhaps one at Paddington might be better placed !

 

[Techniquest]

Can we ban supermarket till operators from scanning your shopping through at a great speed, asking for payment, and then giving you the death stare if you don't pack your shopping away and **** off in about five seconds.

Look, I am not a ****** octopus and I've only got one pair of hands. I can't pay for the shopping and pack it away at the same time.

Even worse is when they, or the next person in the queue, drum their fingers as if to say to me, "..get a move on Grandad...

In defence of checkout operators everywhere, it's not often their choice to process a customer's shopping at a pace to rival Aldi. Scan speed targets are a very real thing, and they can be unrealistic, with complaints from management if said target is not being met.

Granted, it is not good if the person packing bags is getting an attitude of 'hurry up I'm waiting'. Most checkout operators though are well versed in the art of patience. Those who go quickly are often only there to clear queues and get it done fast, normally because they have a list of other things that need doing and urgently.

Personally I love having a checkout operator who scans away at a pace Usain Bolt would be proud of. I don't like spending excess time at the checkouts, I get frustrated enough at self-scan when I have to wait 7 seconds between the system realising payment has been accepted and it offering to print a receipt before it also prints it. That 7 seconds, especially with a queue behind you, can feel like an eternity!

I haven't had to operate a checkout for a long time, but I used to do it on a queue clearing basis a lot. So I know only too well what it's like down there, and yes I used to be one of those who would have a high scan speed! Thankfully in this new era, with a great bit of work carried out in learning the art of patience, I wouldn't be doing it now!

I have had this happen to me at other supermarkets apart from Aldi and Lidl (eg. Iceland and Sainsbury's)

And when I do go to my local Aldi, I use a hand held basket, so I tend to use the self service tills.

You have self-scan in Aldi? Very nice. My local one is still in the ancient era of only manned checkouts, drives me mad when I only need a small number of things, although I have to be pretty desperate to go to Aldi in the first place. My main reason for going there, unless in a bit of a mad desperation, at the moment is for a Chicago Town Tomato Stuffed Crust Sticky BBQ Jackfruit pizza. They sell them at a reasonable price, and I do like those. I think my local one is abandoning the line of stock though, it's normally quite empty. Hmm, I may go later to get another one ready for next week, just in case! Other than that, my main visits to Aldi coincide with their cycling stuff. Muc-Off products are expensive, so when it's available I make sure I get a tin of both of the sprays I use.

The quicker my local Aldi gets with the times the better, it needs self-scan! So there's my entry for this list:

Supermarkets who don't keep up with the times and have self-scan tills!

 

[Class800]

That won't be a problem for much longer, given that bank branches are becoming rarer than hen's teeth.

But HMRC still use cheque for tax refunds, as do some TOCs for compensation issued via customer services. Needs to be somewhere to pay cheques in

 

[joncombe]

People in pubs ordering ridiculously large rounds.

You think that there is one person in front of you but in reality there are a dozen.

Or people who order some drinks, then when they are poured and put on the bar, order some more. Sometimes repeatedly.

 

[Bletchleyite]

But HMRC still use cheque for tax refunds, as do some TOCs for compensation issued via customer services. Needs to be somewhere to pay cheques in

By post, or some banks let you scan in their app. I have banked with branchless banks for 22 years and it has never been an issue.

Paying in cash is the one issue, but I haven't done that for years.

 

[Howardh]

You have self-scan in Aldi? Very nice.

Supermarkets who don't keep up with the times and have self-scan tills!

I'm a huge fan of Lidl, I do my weekly shopping there, but it has two disadvantages - no self-checkout and no home delivery. However while I hope the latter changes eventually for when I pack my car in, the queues at the till goes so quickly I doubt whether I could self-serve any faster, and to be honest if there was a queue for a self-serve till I bet the person ahead would be way slower then using the ordinary till. But would like more tills manned rather than hearing "this till is closing..."!

 

[py_megapixel]

Most notably, the Samsung ‘whistle’ text alert sound. Drives me to despair every time I hear it. Though thankfully the phones where it was the default are dying out now.

Amen to that!

I'll just ban whistling in public if that's OK! It's a perfect way to tell the world that you like irritating people.

 

[Mcr Warrior]

But HMRC still use cheque for tax refunds, as do some TOCs for compensation issued via customer services. Needs to be somewhere to pay cheques in

Can probably be done at your local Post Office. Need a paying in slip (from your bank) together with the HMRC cheque.

 

[nw1]

Pubs that don't do decent cider. "Will Strongbow do?" Well, looks like it'll have to, but it isn't 1990.

Some of us of a certain age wish it was still 1990....

(Not that I am a fan of Strongbow, more into real ale or good continental lager).

But as for annoying things... what about that repeated annoying alarm made on Pendolinos and Voyagers, at least a few years ago. As a passenger, it's of no concern to me, and just serves to annoy. Direct the noise only to a member of staff who can do something about it, please!

And, pedestrian crossings that wait two minutes to change to the green man after pressing the button, and when they finally change, the road is quiet enough to cross anyway! (but I think I may have mentioned this before, apologies if so)

 

[D821]

Promises from politicians to save money by 'cutting red tape'. This is such a hollow, generic and nonspecific response, and can lead to things being cut that might not sound important but do serve an important purpose. Think of something original.

 

[Calthrop]

The general -- often extremely annoying -- business of "complicated / inconsiderate / time-devouring" people ahead of one in a queue: always has me thinking of my favourite railway author / book -- Bryan Morgan / The End Of The Line. What I call to myself, "Morgan-in-Italy Syndrome". A too-frequent experience of his at station booking offices in that country in the 1950s. I quote: "... the same woman is always before me in the queue. She is a war-widow, poor dear, remarried to the victim of an industrial accident, having fifteen children and visibly expecting another, going on her annual holiday and with a brother-in-law working on the railways. She has a horrible little card to prove that all this entitles her to a 95 per cent reduction, but she is standing out for 100 per cent and is prepared to argue the point until we have all missed the express... I have met this woman in half the stations of Italy, and I would wish that she were dead were I not certain that all her sixteen children would then line up in front of me to apply for their orphans' reductions."

 

[D6130]

Or people who order some drinks, then when they are poured and put on the bar, order some more. Sometimes repeatedly.

This is a particular problem in the run up to Christmas, when large groups of office colleagues - most of whom probably rarely visit a pub - are let loose on a crawl around the relevant town centre. A particular annoyance is when the chosen buyer is at the bar reeling off a list of drinks and then suddenly, at the end, says "Oh....and two pints of Guinness please!". That is the one drink that takes the longest to pour and settle and should always be ordered at the start of the round. This sort of behaviour by inexperienced once-a-year pub-goers annoys the hell out of me....but annoys the hell out of bar staff much, much more!

 

[61653 HTAFC]

If only the old Cider tap at Euston were still a thing.

Perhaps one at Paddington might be better placed !

To be fair a decent draught cider wasn't all that easy to come by even in Taunton. Away from the Western parts you're better with a quality bottle from the fridge than the Bulmers battery acid they'll have on tap.

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: 23 Apr 2022 ==

I'm a huge fan of Lidl, I do my weekly shopping there, but it has two disadvantages - no self-checkout and no home delivery. However while I hope the latter changes eventually for when I pack my car in, the queues at the till goes so quickly I doubt whether I could self-serve any faster, and to be honest if there was a queue for a self-serve till I bet the person ahead would be way slower then using the ordinary till. But would like more tills manned rather than hearing "this till is closing..."!

Some Lidls have been getting self-scan tills for a while now, the fancy new one next to Mirfield station has them.

 

[Bald Rick]

"Hand fried" crisps.

Really? That's absolutely brutal. Frying is generally carried out in some sort of pan, with hands kept well clear. Were hand frying to occur then it would be a significant Health and Safety issue.

Or maybe I'm wrong here ... maybe the crisps were individually cradled by Uri Geller until the required temperature was reached. Maybe Harry Potter was actually a documentary and my crisps were crisped by the application of "Cheapsnackiamus" from McHaggridore or whoever?

No. No, I'm not wrong. They're not hand fried, so pack it in.

May I expand this to any noun prefixed to a method of cooking:

”Oven Baked”
”Pan Fried”
etc

Now else do you bake something but in an oven?

....not to mention an intermediate signalbox between Poulton-le-Fylde and Blackpool North!

… and also a damn fine whisky.

 

[GusB]

This is a particular problem in the run up to Christmas, when large groups of office colleagues - most of whom probably rarely visit a pub - are let loose on a crawl around the relevant town centre. A particular annoyance is when the chosen buyer is at the bar reeling off a list of drinks and then suddenly, at the end, says "Oh....and two pints of Guinness please!". That is the one drink that takes the longest to pour and settle and should always be ordered at the start of the round. This sort of behaviour by inexperienced once-a-year pub-goers annoys the hell out of me....but annoys the hell out of bar staff much, much more!

Having worked in bars, I wholeheartedly agree. I've had a few murderous thoughts over the years because people left the Guinness until last!

 

[D6130]

May I expand this to any noun prefixed to a method of cooking:

”Oven Baked”
”Pan Fried”
etc

....not to mention "Triple-cooked" or "Twice-marinated"!

… and also a damn fine whisky.

....and a damn fine former Blue Peter presenter, although the sainted Valerie may have been before your time!

 

[ABB125]

Now else do you bake something but in an oven?

In the still-hot ashes of a fire, wrapped in foil?

(A very niche example, I know!)

 

[D6130]

In the still-hot ashes of a fire, wrapped in foil?

That's the way they do them in Italy...."Patate alla brace".

 

[joncombe]

....not to mention "Triple-cooked" or "Twice-marinated"!

Which makes me think "couldn't they get it right the first time?"

 

[Bald Rick]

and a damn fine former Blue Peter presenter, although the sainted Valerie may have been before your time!

I was very much a Janet Ellis man

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: 23 Apr 2022 ==

In the still-hot ashes of a fire, wrapped in foil?

(A very niche example, I know!)

fair point! Albeit not usually in a restaurant.

 

[Techniquest]

I'm a huge fan of Lidl, I do my weekly shopping there, but it has two disadvantages - no self-checkout and no home delivery. However while I hope the latter changes eventually for when I pack my car in, the queues at the till goes so quickly I doubt whether I could self-serve any faster, and to be honest if there was a queue for a self-serve till I bet the person ahead would be way slower then using the ordinary till. But would like more tills manned rather than hearing "this till is closing..."!

Lidl annoy me endlessly, they seem to be determined not to be vegan-friendly, which is a shame as the relatively recently refurbished Lidl in Hereford is quite nice. So I actively avoid going there, and same problem with no self-checkouts!

I'll just ban whistling in public if that's OK! It's a perfect way to tell the world that you like irritating people.

Not OK with me! It does have a fringe benefit, as it makes it easier for others to hear me coming around a corner, especially handy with dog walkers!

 

[yorksrob]

Sweetcorn. Ruins everything it touches. Currently taking up space at my local carvery that could be put to better use.