Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[Bletchleyite]

My know-all friend says, "memorise the page number". Not all of us have a computer-standard "head" and memory for numbers and figures...

I usually, when reading a "throwaway"* novel, just fold over a page corner. But as many people would post on this thread that that annoyed them...

* Not literally, but I only read them once and then give them away e.g. to charity shops or others.

 

[Gloster]

Finding as you get to near the end of a book picked up in a charity shop that one of the last pages was missing. After 250 pages to reach the end of one where it says, “...and the murderer is...”, then move to the next page and read, “...was taken away by the Inspector,” is thoroughly annoying.

AND what does ‘Unconstructive’ mean and why was a post that seemed to fit in with other posts in this thread removed for such a reason? (With no indication of who by.)

 

[xotGD]

I usually, when reading a "throwaway"* novel, just fold over a page corner. But as many people would post on this thread that that annoyed them...

* Not literally, but I only read them once and then give them away e.g. to charity shops or others.

Oh, yes. Folded book corners is a big no-no.

 

[Bletchleyite]

Oh, yes. Folded book corners is a big no-no.

I think there's a culturally different view between me and some others (perhaps yourself) on the status that should be ascribed to a novel. I would never do this to a nicely presented, glossy reference book I have "for keeps", but to me a paperback novel has a similar status as a copy of Modern Railways or similar - it's a read once then give away item, effectively disposable, and thus I don't see an issue.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

I think there's a culturally different view between me and some others (perhaps yourself) on the status that should be ascribed to a novel. I would never do this to a nicely presented, glossy reference book I have "for keeps", but to me a paperback novel has a similar status as a copy of Modern Railways or similar - it's a read once then give away item, effectively disposable, and thus I don't see an issue.

If I ever pass a "traveller's library" with a "leave a book, take a book" policy such as the one there used to be at Victoria Coach Station (assuming such things aren't another casualty of Covid mania), I'm always drawn to the bedraggled, well-thumbed tomes more than the pristine ones.

 

[Howardh]

Pings. Getting to be a real annoyance now when sitting on a train or bus, someone continually getting pings when someone has replied to them. Feel like shoutig out "you've a reply mate, don't want you to miss it..."

 

[xotGD]

I think there's a culturally different view between me and some others (perhaps yourself) on the status that should be ascribed to a novel. I would never do this to a nicely presented, glossy reference book I have "for keeps", but to me a paperback novel has a similar status as a copy of Modern Railways or similar - it's a read once then give away item, effectively disposable, and thus I don't see an issue.

It's when I am reading a secondhand book and I turn the page to discover a folded over corner that I get triggered.

The opposite sensation I get when I turn the page to discover a piece of paper that a previous custodian has left behind.

One thing worse is those people who fold a book right back on itself so that the front cover touches the back cover, completely knackering the spine. That should result in a prison sentence.

 

[Gloster]

I use anything that I have to hand as a marker: old rail tickets, till receipts, dead prescriptions and even bookmarks. I never turn over a page, although tatty paperbacks, of which I have hundreds, often get dumped open pages down.

The saddest thing I found in a book was in a (modern) collection of nineteenth-century detective story that I bought in a second-hand shop in the Charing Cross Road in the nineties. It was a little piece of pink, heart-shaped cardboard with a message of deep love from a woman to her beloved who appeared to be off to serve in one of the Balkan peace-keeping missions. Due to the way it had been slipped in, he had obviously never opened that part of the book and seen it.

 

[Techniquest]

Same for me (1980 baby here)

Woop! Late 84 for me, I'm wondering therefore if Rosie & Jim brings back any nostalgia for you?

 

[Jimini]

Woop! Late 84 for me, I'm wondering therefore if Rosie & Jim brings back any nostalgia for you?

It might have come up once or twice during my childhood Same with Jimbo and the Jet Set!

 

[ABB125]

One thing worse is those people who fold a book right back on itself so that the front cover touches the back cover, completely knackering the spine. That should result in a prison sentence.

That I can definitely agree on!
Regarding folding the corner, I generally agree with @Bletchleyite's view.

Woop! Late 84 for me, I'm wondering therefore if Rosie & Jim brings back any nostalgia for you?

I remember going on a family holiday once (can't remember where, though it was definitely in the UK) when I was no older than 8. We watched Rosie and Jim on a cassette tape at whatever accomodation we were staying in.
I was born in 2002...

 

[Techniquest]

It might have come up once or twice during my childhood Same with Jimbo and the Jet Set!

Likewise! I don't remember Jimbo so much, well not at all but I'm told I loved it when I was very small!

I remember going on a family holiday once (can't remember where, though it was definitely in the UK) when I was no older than 8. We watched Rosie and Jim on a cassette tape at whatever accomodation we were staying in.
I was born in 2002...

Oh wow, that tape must have been around for a very long time!

 

[Calthrop]

The word "singleton" in the sense of a person who lives on their own / lacks a partner in the marrying-or-equivalent sense / is conspicuously by themself in a public place / situation. These uses of the word grate on me, more than is altogether rational. I think this is, with me, down to a couple of things -- for one, I have a good but at times irritating friend, who tends grossly to over-use the word in this sense. Also: the word has been somewhat appropriated in recent times by, to me, annoying young female authors / journalists: to apply to young women who have great difficulty in finding an acceptable male life's-partner -- with these writing dames tending to a general "all men are scum" view of things. And overall, it's a word-use which strikes me as repellently twee / coy / arch / mincing. I understand that the word has a specific significance in the field of card games; and it was the name of a station on the long-closed Chichester to Midhurst line. I would much wish for its employment to be confined to those two roles !

 

[LethalDrizzle]

"Hand fried" crisps.

Really? That's absolutely brutal. Frying is generally carried out in some sort of pan, with hands kept well clear. Were hand frying to occur then it would be a significant Health and Safety issue.

Or maybe I'm wrong here ... maybe the crisps were individually cradled by Uri Geller until the required temperature was reached. Maybe Harry Potter was actually a documentary and my crisps were crisped by the application of "Cheapsnackiamus" from McHaggridore or whoever?

No. No, I'm not wrong. They're not hand fried, so pack it in.

 

[Gloster]

My father was always amused by the way that goods used to be advertised as “untouched by human hands”. To him it conjured up images of the items being produced by people using their feet or by dexterous apes.

I do get put off by the way that some items, particularly snacks, are described as though each individual crisp, peanut, cocktail sausage, or whatever has been individually produced. The use of the words “hand-crafted” is almost always misleading.

 

[gg1]

My father was always amused by the way that goods used to be advertised as “untouched by human hands”. To him it conjured up images of the items being produced by people using their feet or by dexterous apes.

I do get put off by the way that some items, particularly snacks, are described as though each individual crisp, peanut, cocktail sausage, or whatever has been individually produced. The use of the words “hand-crafted” is almost always misleading.

On a related note, ban the use of the word 'artisan' when referring to food and drink.

 

[Ediswan]

On a related note, ban the use of the word 'artisan' when referring to food and drink.

In France, use of the term is legally limited to businesses with suitable experience/qualifications and fewer than ten employees.

 

[Lucan]

Companies that use Facebook as their "website". I don't use FB except that sometimes a link takes me there when I am searching for something to buy. The format of a company (or personal) FB page seems to be a combination of a diary and a forum, which is utterly unsuited to trying to find a particular item to buy.

Wall brick power supplies for static items such as monitors. The makers boast how thin and light their stuff is, but only because they have moved the power supply into a different part, which when plugged into a multiple outlet socket very often blocks use of the adjacent ones. In particular wall bricks with the lead emerging from the top rather than the bottom.

 

[adrock1976]

I am maybe being slightly controversial here even though not my intention to do so, but I would ban the likes of bands such as Bring Me the Horizon and My Chemical Romance being billed as rock/metal bands.

Likewise Aunty Beeb promoting an upcoming series called Conversations with Friends from the makers of Normal People being billed as drama series.

Both examples above are not rock/metal or drama. They are what's called emo s**t, and should be billed as such so as to know to be avoided.

PS Back in the days when I stewarded at various festivals, I did have the misfortune to see both MCR and BMTH (not at the same time mind) as one of my shifts were not far from the stage they were playing.

 

[Bletchleyite]

I am maybe being slightly controversial here even though not my intention to do so, but I would ban the likes of bands such as Bring Me the Horizon and My Chemical Romance being billed as rock/metal bands.

I don't know what the former is, but I'd call the latter "emo" rather than "rock", though there is clearly a relationship*. I wouldn't agree with your dislike of them, I quite like them to be honest, though they are clearly a different genre from say Queen.

* In that the wide genre of "rock" basically encompasses most things you can do** with a drum kit and electric guitar.
** Politely

 

[duncanp]

Can we ban supermarket till operators from scanning your shopping through at a great speed, asking for payment, and then giving you the death stare if you don't pack your shopping away and **** off in about five seconds.

Look, I am not a ****** octopus and I've only got one pair of hands. I can't pay for the shopping and pack it away at the same time.

Even worse is when they, or the next person in the queue, drum their fingers as if to say to me, "..get a move on Grandad...

 

[Bletchleyite]

Can we ban supermarket till operators from scanning your shopping through at a great speed, asking for payment, and then giving you the death stare if you don't pack your shopping away and **** off in about five seconds.

Look, I am not a ****** octopus and I've only got one pair of hands. I can't pay for the shopping and pack it away at the same time.

Even worse is when they, or the next person in the queue, drum their fingers as if to say to me, "..get a move on Grandad...

The only place this happens is the German supermarkets, and at those you are supposed to place it back in your trolley and go and pack away from the till. This allows for more efficient use of the staff and so lower prices. If you're wanting to spend more time, pay the extra to shop at Waitrose/Booths who will do no such thing.

 

[Gloster]

People who grab a paying-in slip in a bank and then walk up to stand at the open till window while they slowly fill it out. They often get three-quarters of the way through before making a mistake: they then leave their bag at the till to keep their place while they wander round trying to find where they got the first slip from. Meanwhile, those who fill everything in before going to the till are stuck waiting.

 

[duncanp]

The only place this happens is the German supermarkets, and at those you are supposed to place it back in your trolley and go and pack away from the till. This allows for more efficient use of the staff and so lower prices. If you're wanting to spend more time, pay the extra to shop at Waitrose/Booths who will do no such thing.

I have had this happen to me at other supermarkets apart from Aldi and Lidl (eg. Iceland and Sainsbury's)

And when I do go to my local Aldi, I use a hand held basket, so I tend to use the self service tills.

 

[D6130]

and it was the name of a station on the long-closed Chichester to Midhurst line. I would much wish for its employment to be confined to those two roles !

....not to mention an intermediate signalbox between Poulton-le-Fylde and Blackpool North!

 

[duncanp]

People who grab a paying-in slip in a bank and then walk up to stand at the open till window while they slowly fill it out. They often get three-quarters of the way through before making a mistake: they then leave their bag at the till to keep their place while they wander round trying to find where they got the first slip from. Meanwhile, those who fill everything in before going to the till are stuck waiting.

That won't be a problem for much longer, given that bank branches are becoming rarer than hen's teeth.

 

[D821]

People who spend ages at the supermarket checkout, rifling through their wallet / purse / bag to find a coupon to save them 20p.
I'll give you the 20p if you grab your bags and bugger off.

 

[Mcr Warrior]

People who spend ages at the supermarket checkout, rifling through their wallet / purse / bag to find a coupon to save them 20p.
I'll give you the 20p if you grab your bags and bugger off.

To be fair, there are folk who come on here, creating threads relating to some bizarre itinerary from one random place to another, all in order to save maybe 20p on the overall fare. Every little helps!

 

[duncanp]

People who spend ages at the supermarket checkout, rifling through their wallet / purse / bag to find a coupon to save them 20p.
I'll give you the 20p if you grab your bags and bugger off.

Even more annoying than that are people who spend ages at the supermarket checkout, and then realise they have forgotten something, and expect to be able to go and get it, whilst everyone else in the queue waits for them.

 

[D821]

To be fair, there are folk who come on here, creating threads relating to some bizarre itinerary from one random place to another, all in order to save maybe 20p on the overall fare. Every little helps!

I'm not against coupons, just have them ready!