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Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

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gg1

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This has probably been mentioned before, but electronic handbrakes in cars. What's wrong with a proper, manual handbrake? With an electronic one, you can't control the rate at which the brake goes on/off, which in certain circumstances is incredibly frustrating. For example, trying to to a steep hill start in a bumpy field in the Lake District, with a trailer, and a car with a very dodgy turbo...
My two most recent cars had one, on the previous one with a manual gearbox it was a PITA and made (steep) hill starts more awkward than they need to be, with my current automatic car however it's quite a handy convenience feature.
 

Cowley

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Where would you put it?
My Range Rover certainly hasn't got anywhere
Yes because you’re quite short on room in a Range Rover… ;)

This has probably been mentioned before, but electronic handbrakes in cars. What's wrong with a proper, manual handbrake? With an electronic one, you can't control the rate at which the brake goes on/off, which in certain circumstances is incredibly frustrating. For example, trying to to a steep hill start in a bumpy field in the Lake District, with a trailer, and a car with a very dodgy turbo...
We’ve got a car with an electronic handbrake and a van with a manual handbrake but also hill start assist (basically the brakes stay on for 5 seconds until you move off).

I think I just about prefer the manual handbrake for a manual vehicle but like @gg1 says, it would probably be better in an automatic.
 

Busaholic

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Yes because you’re quite short on room in a Range Rover… ;)


We’ve got a car with an electronic handbrake and a van with a manual handbrake but also hill start assist (basically the brakes stay on for 5 seconds until you move off).

I think I just about prefer the manual handbrake for a manual vehicle but like @gg1 says, it would probably be better in an automatic.
I wouldn't be without my manual handbrake on my manual gearbox 2011 Renault Clio, owned from new at a price of less than £6.000, 115,000+ miles later. The best purchase I've ever made, absolutely bottom of the range, meaning fewer pesky electronics to keep malfunctioning unlike my previous, costlier, Clio!
 

py_megapixel

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The user interface on my microwave.

You enter the cooking time is by pressing buttons which correspond to a particular amount of time, which adds that amount of time onto the clock. The available lengths of time are 10 seconds, 30 seconds, 1 minute and 5 minutes

This would be fine if it wasn't for the irritating fact that the 30 button can only be used separately from all the others. So if you want 40 seconds it must be entered as "10,10,10,10"; you can't do "30,10" or "10,30" as the 30 button becomes disabled when any other button is used and vice-versa.
Similarly, 1½ minutes may be entered as "30,30,30" or "1,10,10,10" but not as "1,30"

Who on earth thought this was a good idea?
 

D821

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That sounds like a UI that was developed by an embittered programmer on their last day on the job
 

Gloster

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Those adverts that suddenly break in at random points in YouTube music videos, particularly when it is Nigel F@#*!e. A recent example was one that suddenly appeared a short way into Eric Bogle singing The Band played Waltzing Matilda.

Also the Up Next recommendations, some of which seem to be totally bizarre choices. Suggesting you might next want to listen to Mellow Love Ballads when you are listening to Anarchy in the UK is weird.
 

D821

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Ukuleles.
Nothing against the instrument itself, more the 'quirky' types who think that playing rock covers on them in a band in a "cor, I'm a bit bonkers" sort of way is somehow zany or amusing.
 

GatwickDepress

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Ukuleles.
Nothing against the instrument itself, more the 'quirky' types who think that playing rock covers on them in a band in a "cor, I'm a bit bonkers" sort of way is somehow zany or amusing.
Thankfully, I haven't seen anybody pull out a ukelele at a house party and strum out Wonderwall in quite a while, but it is an absolute nightmare when it happens.
 

gg1

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The utterly pointless piece of eBay spam which goes: "Is xxxxxxx still of interest" to which there are always one of two possible answers:

No, if it was I would have added it to my watch list
Yes, that's the reason I've added it to my watch list

Invariably these are sent within a few hours of viewing said item, there might actually be some logic to it (though still annoying) if it related to something which had been sitting in your watch list for a few weeks.
 

Calthrop

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I don't think that this has been mentioned before on this thread: I would wish to ban for all time henceforth, the "meme" of "name-tagging" any political scandal in the English-speaking world (and quite possibly beyond), as "Something-Gate". It "hit the ground running" nearly fifty years ago, with the original business in America; and the media and chattering classes have never stopped with it, from that day to this, for what must by now have been hundreds of causes celebres -- and I never found it very witty in the first place; and over the decades, it has come to make me want to scream. Now it's "Partygate", over Johnson & Co.'s lockdown misbehaviour. Has me thinking, "God, please make it / them stop, and never recommence".

One mildly entertaining aspect for me, of this idiocy: I could wish that passenger services on the Torrington -- Halwill Junction branch might have continued for something like a decade longer than they did. Had that been so; from 1973 on, the line's halt called Watergate: could have been a source of amusement for its very few passengers / rail staff employed on it / the railway-enthusiast community in general.
 
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43096

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I don't think that this has been mentioned before on this thread: I would wish to ban for all time henceforth, the "meme" of "name-tagging" any political scandal in the English-speaking world (and quite possibly beyond), as "Something-Gate". It "hit the ground running" nearly fifty years ago, with the original business in America; and the media and chattering classes have never stopped with it, from that day to this, for what must by now have been hundreds of causes celebres -- and I never found it very witty in the first place; and over the decades, it has come to make me want to scream. Now it's "Partygate", over Johnson & Co.'s lockdown misbehaviour. Has me thinking, "God, please make it / them stop, and never recommence".
Agreed!

I mentioned it in the thread about rule breaking at no. 10: https://www.railforums.co.uk/thread...rings-during-2020.225527/page-26#post-5511343
 

Gloster

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Nearly ten years ago there was a minor scandal in Denmark involving Danish State Railways and a PR company called Waterfront. I could not but call it Waterfrontgate.
 

Calthrop

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Nearly ten years ago there was a minor scandal in Denmark involving Danish State Railways and a PR company called Waterfront. I could not but call it Waterfrontgate.

Hoping -- I must confess -- that you had thereby coined something outrageous in Danish: I went to Google Translate -- guess what, "gate" in Danish, means English "gate". Anyway, I concede the wit of your "Waterfrontgate" as above !
 
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Cowley

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I just want there to be some scandal about gates so we can have Gate-gate.

The only one of these that I’ve ever liked was the recent attempted cheeky release of a Titfield Thunderbolt set by Hornby without permission from StudioCanal.

I’ll let everyone guess what that was named…
 

GusB

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The only one of these that I’ve ever liked was the recent attempted cheeky release of a Titfield Thunderbolt set by Hornby without permission from StudioCanal.

I’ll let everyone guess what that was named…
Thundergate? ;)
 

Calthrop

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I'm thinking -- for the pure-minded: association with cute little birds which frequent gardens ...
 

Calthrop

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This could lead on to a corny old tale; but I'll be merciful, and restrain myself.
 

Meerkat

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The utterly pointless piece of eBay spam which goes: "Is xxxxxxx still of interest" to which there are always one of two possible answers:

No, if it was I would have added it to my watch list
Yes, that's the reason I've added it to my watch list

Invariably these are sent within a few hours of viewing said item, there might actually be some logic to it (though still annoying) if it related to something which had been sitting in your watch list for a few weeks.
Why can't Amazon, in all their data genius, apply a field that stores how often individuals buy something before sending out their suggested purchases lists.
How many times do they think I want to buy a litter picker - what on earth do I think I do with them?!
At least Google ads has the excuse that it doesn't know whether or not I bought an item I searched for, but its still annoying to be getting ads for pan strainers months later!
 

BanburyBlue

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Why can't Amazon, in all their data genius, apply a field that stores how often individuals buy something before sending out their suggested purchases lists.
How many times do they think I want to buy a litter picker - what on earth do I think I do with them?!
At least Google ads has the excuse that it doesn't know whether or not I bought an item I searched for, but its still annoying to be getting ads for pan strainers months later!

The one that does me in is the pop ups on screen, whilst you are trying to browse saying things like "27 people are looking at this right now" or "only 7 of these items left in stock". I'm sure Marketing departments think they are being clever, but it's so annoying I tend to switch off and look somewhere else.
 

gg1

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I'm sure Marketing departments think they are being clever, but it's so annoying I tend to switch off and look somewhere else.
I'm convinced a lot of the more intrusive advertising is actually counter productive, for example thanks to their numerous annoying Youtube ads I can confidently say I well never make a purchase from Serenata Flowers.
 

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