Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[D6968]

I'd ban Johnathan Creek, having been forced to watch several episodes of it by my family.

‘Reality TV’ I’d rather like that banned, I really don’t get the likes of Towie, Made in Chelsea, Drag Race, The Voice etc absolute drivel all of it.

 

[Strat-tastic]

Jimmy Carr from laughing on TV

 

[Paul Jones 88]

Heartbeat, The Royal and 25 year old soap reruns on ITV 3 every afternoon for years and years and years.

 

[D821]

I'd ban Johnathan Creek, having been forced to watch several episodes of it by my family.

I'd ban Alan Davies. How he's managed to stay on QI this long I'll never know.

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People who say 'British accent' when they mean "English accent'.

 

[Skittle]

I'd ban cuppa tea snobs! - usually I drink coffee but my teas are direly weak and I've upset whole families and full regions - I'm sorry I have weak tea guys!

 

[AM9]

I'd ban Alan Davies. How he's managed to stay on QI this long I'll never know.

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People who say 'British accent' when they mean "English accent'.

English accent doesn't really mean much. There's a massive difference between the accent of a scouser, a geordie, a londoner and a cornish person, indeed, more of a difference than there is between standard non-accented english as spoken by broadcasters and some politicians and sombody from New England or even a Scandinavian fluent in english language. English is a language, not an accent.

 

[D821]

True, though I'd say English is a better approximation than British.

 

[AM9]

True, though I'd say English is a better approximation than British.

I think that both are irrelevant, even to an American. For english speaking people brought up outside the UK it is unusual for them to correctly identify anything more local than not from their country, e.g. Dick Van Dyke was paid thousands to speak a 'cockney' accent for the film Mary Poppins. Americans thought that he did a good job, but almost everybody British I know think that it sounded more like a wierd Australian. Probably americans think that Shrek speaks with an 'English' accent, but in reality Mike Myers does apply a quite reasonable scots lilt for the character.

 

[Gloster]

Dick van Dyke’s Cockney accent was in a category of its own. He apologised a few years ago.

 

[Cowley]

Dick van Dyke’s Cockney accent was in a category of its own. He apologised a few years ago.

 

[D821]

His accent always makes me smile and it unintentionally adds a layer of mirth to the film.

 

[Cambus731]

people who refer to this planet as 'The Earth'

It's name is Earth! that so irritates me

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A friend of mine, who is bloody sex obsessed, who insists on using the American word for knickers ie panties
its a blatant giveaway that he looks at loads of porn

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people who call coaches 'buses' That really should be punishable by six months living in Stevenage

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people in denial about human activity induced global climate change. Unfortunately some people have over egged the pudding by saying things like London will be underwater within ten years, and/or blaming every bit of unusual weather on it. And it doesn't help that every few years it changes it.s name. I remember when it was called 'The Greenhouse Effect'
BUT I have absolutely no doubt it is real and we can't bury our heads in the sand about it.
it also irritates me when some people seem to treat it as a left/right issue.

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Manned missions to the Moon deniers.
Yes it was an amusing joke when it largely entered public conciousness about thirty years ago. But there were NINE manned missions to the moon involving thousands of people. It happened. Several times over a period of five years.
Claiming they were all somehow faked doesn't make you look clever. It makes you look like an aging stand up comedian who still expects people to laugh at your jokes about your mother in law.

 

[py_megapixel]

people who call coaches 'buses'

They are buses though, just high-floor ones optimised for longer journeys.

 

[Cambus731]

They are buses though, just high-floor ones optimised for longer journeys.

oooo I think those words are grounds to sentence you to three months living in Stevenage.

 

[D821]

oooo I think those words are grounds to sentence you to three months living in Stevenage.

Free the Stevenage One!

 

[Busaholic]

Manned missions to the Moon deniers.
Yes it was an amusing joke when it largely entered public conciousness about thirty years ago. But there were NINE manned missions to the moon involving thousands of people. It happened. Several times over a period of five years.
Claiming they were all somehow faked doesn't make you look clever. It makes you look like an aging stand up comedian who still expects people to laugh at your jokes about your mother in law.

Imagine the thousands of people working for NASA etc who'd have to be involved in such a cover-up, with guarantees that none ever hint at spilling the beans, even on their death beds. Where precisely in the American 'deserts' were these mock-ups arranged? It might not have cost quite as much in money terms as space exploration but the human cost of getting everyone onside, or alternatively duping them, is so fantastical that anyone who even begins to believe it should be classed a lunatic, and debarred from voting on that basis.

 

[Cambus731]

Imagine the thousands of people working for NASA etc who'd have to be involved in such a cover-up, with guarantees that none ever hint at spilling the beans, even on their death beds. Where precisely in the American 'deserts' were these mock-ups arranged? It might not have cost quite as much in money terms as space exploration but the human cost of getting everyone onside, or alternatively duping them, is so fantastical that anyone who even begins to believe it should be classed a lunatic, and debarred from voting on that basis.

as Neil DeGrasse Tyson said, "All the things that would have to have been done to fake it, it was easier just to go to The Damn Moon"

 

[Mcr Warrior]

But there were NINE manned missions to the moon involving thousands of people. It happened. Several times over a period of five years.

That surprised me, but, on checking, Apollo 9 (in March 1969) didn't actually leave Earth orbit. Timescale of the other nine Apollo missions which did head out to the moon (8 and 10 to 17) was more like just four years overall between 1968 and 1972.

 

[Cambus731]

That surprised me, but, on checking, Apollo 9 (in March 1969) didn't actually leave Earth orbit.

No it didn't. Great song though.
Apollo 8 was the first manned mission to orbit the Moon
Apollo 9 orbited Earth. so didn't go to The Moon (good song though)
Apollo 10 did a controlled descent and re-ascent to The Moon's surface
Apollo 11 was the first manned landing
Apollo 12 was the 2nd and landed near one of the Surveyer Craft and retrieved a camera from the craft. which possibly contained bacteria from Earth.
Apollo 13 had the on board explosion and swung round The Moon while crippled..
Apollo 14 was the next landing
Apollos 15-17 also carried a 'lunar buggy'

 

[D821]

Given that the USA was in a race to the Moon against the Russians, I'm sure the Russians would have had a good idea if the US had faked it and would have been very vocal about it.

 

[gg1]

as Neil DeGrasse Tyson said, "All the things that would have to have been done to fake it, it was easier just to go to The Damn Moon"

Also from Neil DeGrasse Tyson: "Rumor has it that Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin agreed to fake the Moon landinig. But to make the footage look as authentic as possible, they urged NASA to film it on-location. And NASA agreed."

 

[alex397]

‘Roadman’ culture. I’d happily ban that.

 

[XAM2175]

Also from Neil DeGrasse Tyson: "Rumor has it that Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin agreed to fake the Moon landinig. But to make the footage look as authentic as possible, they urged NASA to film it on-location. And NASA agreed."

The alternate joke is that NASA hired Stanley Kubrick to produce the film, but he was such a perfectionist he insisted on filming on location

 

[Busaholic]

The alternate joke is that NASA hired Stanley Kubrick to produce the film, but he was such a perfectionist he insisted on filming on location

He might have got Neil Armstrong not to fluff his line!

 

[43096]

They are buses though, just high-floor ones optimised for longer journeys.

And buses are the lowest form of mechanical life.

 

[yorksrob]

New Year's Day morning.

Nowhere to get any effing food when you're hungover.

 

[AM9]

New Year's Day morning.

Nowhere to get any effing food when you're hungover.

Don't you have any food at home?

 

[yorksrob]

Don't you have any food at home?

I'm not at home.

 

[AM9]

I'm not at home.

Would have been better to have prepared for today's hunger then. You can't expect businesses to open for a few that didn't.

 

[birchesgreen]

New Year's Day morning.

Nowhere to get any effing food when you're hungover.

Some of the Greggs are open, well they are around Brum anyway.